26-07-2025
‘Kilroy was here': Is writing on toilet walls still a thing?
a young man had been arrested and charged with writing a seditious message on a toilet wall was … pleasantly nostalgic.
Writing on the walls of public toilet cubicles used to be a widespread hobby, and some walls in popular establishments were virtually covered in writings and drawings. Well-prepared graffiti artists had pencils or pens; the rest of us just scratched.
Of course, many of the results lacked artistic quality, and most of them were obscene. Among the more printable was the almost universal assurance that 'Kilroy was here.' A variety of theories are offered about who Kilroy was and why he was commemorated in this way.
I also recall coming across 'Clap your hands and jump with joy; I found this wall before Kilroy,' to which someone had added 'Kilroy built it.'
Public toilets in the more academic parts of Oxford sported graffiti of a more learned kind. Many of them were in Latin, a few in ancient Greek. Some users spent their toilet time composing alphabets: A is for Anabasis, B is for Binomianism, C is for Critical Theory and so on.
Inevitably, academics have swooped. Selection of findings here. Sample discovery: 'Females discussed body image more than males did. There was also a difference in focus: females listed their height and weight, whereas males listed their penis size.'
A more civilised habit, in private homes, was to decorate your toilet walls with examples of entertaining newspaper errors. Many of these came from The Guardian, which was so notorious for the laxity of its proofreading that Private Eye called it The Grauniad.
It must be said, however, that in the vast majority of English toilets, the graffiti, if there was graffiti, was fairly crude and disgusting. However, this was a result of the fact that the toilet cubicle was private. You could do what you liked in there and nobody would know. At my boarding school, there were actually crowds of smokers in some cubicles during break times.
So I am a little concerned about the news that someone has been arrested and charged for defacing a toilet wall. The question is: How did they catch him?
I assume … I hope … there is no question of CCTV in the cubicles at Hong Kong China City, where the deplorable deed is alleged to have taken place. I realise we are on camera a lot these days. Citysuper actually has cheerful notices saying: 'Smile! You're on CCTV'. Shoplifting is a serious matter, and I yield without complaint the right to televise the avocados.
The toilet is another matter. No doubt, writing on the walls is only one of the many ways in which the privacy of the cubicle can be abused, but there should nevertheless be privacy.
Other theories are also a bit worrying. Does Hong Kong China City expect its toilet attendants to inspect a cubicle after each visit to make sure the walls have not been defaced? Or do the national security cops keep an eye on suspected subversives by poking a periscope over the partition from the next cubicle?
No doubt the ensuing trial will be a big attraction to the media, and all will be revealed in due course. Meanwhile, the story also has a serious side. The suspected scribbler could face seven years in jail if his work is considered seditious.
As a police spokesman memorably put it: 'Doing with a seditious intention an act or acts that had a seditious intention is a serious offence.' Also, it's a national security offence, so even if your only audience was a toilet wall, you don't get bail.
Kilroy was here and has moved to Canada.
