Latest news with #DARVO
Pink Villa
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Pink Villa
Blake Lively Calls Out Justin Baldoni for 'Abandoning' Female Advocacy: 'Women Should Not Have Their Voices Heard...'
Blake Lively has accused her It Ends With Us co-star Justin Baldoni of contradicting his long-standing public advocacy for women. The actress's team issued a strong statement on June 5, saying Baldoni's defamation lawsuit against her undermines the values he once promoted through platforms like his TED Talks, podcasts, and interviews. During the film's promotional campaign, Baldoni partnered with NO MORE, an organization focused on ending domestic violence and sexual assault, as per US Weekly. At the time, he said, 'It's easy to ask, especially as men, 'Why do women stay?' But the real question we need to ask is, 'Why do men harm?'' He called the story of It Ends With Us difficult but important and expressed gratitude for the partnership with @nomoreorg. However, Blake Lively now claims Justin Baldoni's legal actions contradict his public statements. 'Rather than defend his case on the facts, Baldoni is now contradicting years of his own public persona,' her spokesperson said. They added that he is abandoning the message of his #MeToo YouTube's, podcasts, TED Talks, and interviews, where he once upon a time urged men 'to listen to the women in your life…to hold their anguish and actually believe them, even if what they're saying is against you.' Here are the 19 women's advocacy groups backing Blake Lively in legal battle Lively's team revealed that 19 women's rights and survivors' organizations have signed onto four separate amicus briefs in support of her. The groups include Sanctuary for Families, National Organization for Women, Women's Justice NOW, Equal Rights Advocates, and Child USA. 'These organizations are united in opposing Justin Baldoni's attempt to dismantle a law designed to protect women who speak up, simply to protect himself,' Lively's team said in the statement. 'They are sounding the alarm about his DARVO tactics and the chilling effect they could have beyond this case.' DARVO, short for Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender, is a tactic where perpetrators deny accusations, attack the victim's credibility, and portray themselves as victims. The briefs argue that Baldoni's lawsuit reflects these tactics and could discourage others from coming forward. In response, Baldoni's legal team has reportedly challenged the inclusion of the amicus briefs, stating the organizations should not have their voices heard. According to the briefs, the lawsuit against Lively is the prototypical suit that California's AB 933 law was meant to prevent. One excerpt from Child USA stated that such lawsuits allow perpetrators to weaponize the judicial system to discredit survivor accounts. The latest updates come just days after Judge Lewis Liman ruled on June 2 that Lively's emotional distress claims would not move forward after her legal team withdrew them. The judge also rejected Baldoni's request for her private therapy and medical records, stating they were no longer relevant. Despite the dismissal of some claims, the case continues to receive support from prominent advocacy groups. Lively's spokesperson said that these briefs add the voices of renowned nonprofits, victim advocates, and experts dedicated to safeguarding the rights of people who speak up.
Time of India
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Time of India
Blake Lively accuses Justin Baldoni of 'contradicting' pro-women advocacy amid $400 million lawsuit
In the latest twist to the Blake Lively vs Justin Baldoni saga, the actress's legal team is publicly accusing the director of contradicting his long-standing advocacy for women. In a strongly worded statement, Lively's team criticised Baldoni for what they called a 'complete contradiction' of his prior messaging about supporting women's voices. Baldoni, who directed and stars alongside Lively in It Ends With Us, had previously aligned himself with organisations such as NO MORE, known for campaigning against domestic violence and sexual abuse. During the film's promotional campaign, the director frequently spoke about the importance of supporting women and holding abusers accountable. 'It's easy to ask, especially as men, 'Why do women stay?' But the real question we need to ask is, 'Why do men harm?'' Baldoni had said during press interviews. 'This was not an easy story to tell, and yet it was profoundly important.' But now, Lively's camp says the lawsuit tells a different story—one they argue is damaging to the very ideals Baldoni claims to support. The actress' team, in a significant show of support, have claimed that 19 leading organisations dedicated to women's rights, children's welfare, and victim advocacy have filed amicus briefs in Lively's favour and have condemned Baldoni's legal strategy. by Taboola by Taboola Sponsored Links Sponsored Links Promoted Links Promoted Links You May Like Giao dịch vàng CFDs với mức chênh lệch giá thấp nhất IC Markets Đăng ký Undo Among the groups supporting Lively are: Sanctuary for Families National Organization for Women (NOW) Her Justice New York Cyber Abuse Task Force National Network to End Domestic Violence Esperanza United, and many more. Two additional amicus briefs were filed this week, bringing the total to four, all urging the court to consider the broader implications of Baldoni's lawsuit on women's rights and freedom of speech. 'Rather than defend his case on the facts,' said Lively's spokesperson in a new statement, 'Baldoni is now contradicting years of his own public persona—abandoning the message of his #MeToo-era YouTubes, podcasts, TED Talks, and interviews, where he once urged men 'to listen to the women in your life… and believe them, even if what they're saying is against you.'' Lively's team accused Baldoni of employing DARVO tactics—Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender—a manipulation strategy often used to silence accusers and reframe accountability. They argue that the case could set a dangerous precedent, discouraging women from speaking out in professional environments. 'These women and organisations are sounding the alarm,' the statement continued, 'about the chilling effect Baldoni's actions could have far beyond this case.' According to Lively, Baldoni's legal team has moved to challenge the legitimacy of the amicus briefs, arguing that the organisations 'should not have their voices heard' in court. The controversy comes just days after Blake formally withdrew two key claims specifically related to emotional distress, which she had previously alleged as part of a broader lawsuit against Baldoni filed in December 2024. According to Variety , Judge Lewis Liman, who is overseeing the case in the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York, confirmed that Lively's claims for emotional distress would be thrown out and as a result, Baldoni's motion to compel her to release her medical and therapy records was denied. Check out our list of the latest Hindi , English , Tamil , Telugu , Malayalam , and Kannada movies . Don't miss our picks for the best Hindi movies , best Tamil movies, and best Telugu films .
The Guardian
22-05-2025
- The Guardian
Famous men's toxic fandoms have become a tool for punishing women
There's a new formula for punishing women who speak out about abuse by high-profile figures, and it usually goes like this: woman alleges abuse, woman seeks recourse through the justice system, woman's accusation is made public – and then a tidal wave of fans of her abuser come together to help deny the abuse, attack her credibility and reverse the roles of victim and offender. If this sounds familiar it's because Darvo – the 'deny, attack, reversevictim and offender' method of manipulating abuse victims – has existed for forever. But social media has given it a whole new dimension, and powerful people now have an army of rabid fans ready to do that work for them. That's exactly what's happening to the singer and actor Halle Bailey, after she was granted a domestic violence restraining order against her child's father, the YouTuber and Twitch streamer Darryl Dwayne Granberry, known as DDG. Once the news broke, fans jumped to his defence, ramping up an existing campaign of trolling and harassment, where she's been accused of everything from infidelity during their relationship to keeping their child from him after it was over – the latter a narrative that DDG himself has helped fuel. Since news of the restraining order broke last week, we've gotten some details of the physical, verbal and financial abuse that Bailey alleges, including photos of injuries submitted as evidence. In that time, even more accounts have spawned, claiming that Bailey is lying about the alleged attack, and was herself abusive to DDG. Those criticizing her range from faceless troll accounts to major Twitch streamers with hundreds of thousands of followers, and even Twitter/X communities including one where DDG himself is a moderator. If this doesn't feel like deja vu then you're not paying attention. Just last year, hundreds of X, Instagram, TikTok and YouTube accounts popped up dedicated to keeping public sentiment about the Amber Heard and Johnny Depp trial firmly in his favor. Heard was accused of being unhinged and, of course, said to be abusive herself. From people making fun of her testimony to memes about her crying on the stand going viral, there was no regard for her humanity or even the horrifying things she alleged happened to her – and it hasn't stopped. Jennifer Hough, a Black woman who accused Nicki Minaj's current husband, Kenneth Petty, of raping her when they were minors, has also felt the fury of a toxic fandom. Petty was convicted of attempted rape in the incident after a plea deal. When he was arrested in 2020 for failing to register as a sex offender, Minaj's notoriously hateful 'Barbz' got to work trying to discredit Hough, sometimes parroting rumors that Minaj herself had started. With DDG though, this isn't just your average social media fan; these are the children of the streaming age, a generation whose experience of fandom means being constantly and staunchly engaged with their favourite streamers – staying glued to their screens, watching every waking moment of these people's lives, and forming twisted parasocial bonds with them. And did I forget to mention that all of this is happening against the grimy backdrop of the manosphere? Young men online are more misogynistic than ever, and the internet's culture around hating women has gone from fringe forums to becoming a broad social movement where rather than being shamed, men are applauded for sharing their most violent, hateful thoughts about women. The patriarchy demands loyalty and requires that its beneficiaries pay their dues in acts of hatred. That means that anyone who doesn't join in the bullying or speaks up for women is automatically deemed a traitor and punished accordingly. To be a prominent man online today can mean either falling in line with misogyny or risking mockery and ostracization. The Houston rapper Slim Thug was called everything but a child of God for simply believing Megan Thee Stallion when she said she was shot by Tory Lanez, and DDG just called out Soulja Boy (who was found liable for assault himself last month) for standing up for Bailey. Still, there's a different kind of loyalty that's being weaponized here, where Black men specifically (and women for that matter) are being asked to protect their own, even when they cause harm. There's no doubt that Black men are unfairly targeted by the criminal justice system, and continue to be stereotyped as violent. But there are Black men who abuse, disregard and disrespect women that they are in intimate relationships with. Both things can be true. And that delicate balance is often exploited to help cast abusive men as victims of a society that does indeed hate them. From supreme court justice Clarence Thomas claiming the investigation into sexual harassment claims against him were a 'high-tech lynching', to the actor Jonathan Majors going on a sympathy tour after he was convicted of misdemeanour assault and harassment, Black men invoking the racial persecution defence is as typical as it is diabolical. What this all really means is that the court of public opinion has been compromised; we can no longer rely on good sense to prevail even if the courts are unreliable. And at the end of the day, it seems like the message is the same – in a world designed to protect men, women simply can't win. Tayo Bero is a Guardian US columnist
Yahoo
10-04-2025
- Yahoo
How to Spot and Stop a Sociopath
Want to stay current with Arthur's writing? Sign up to get an email every time a new column comes out. 'What just happened?' you're asking yourself. You knew the conversation would be tricky because you had to tackle someone about their misbehavior. Maybe it was a colleague who claimed your work idea as their own; maybe it was a new friend who said nasty things behind your back; or maybe it was a romantic partner who was unfaithful. The evidence is incontrovertible—so much so that, had the boot been on the other foot, you would be confessing your error and asking for forgiveness. But that's not this person's MO. No, in the face of clear wrongdoing, they denied everything. Instead of showing contrition, they counterattacked, maybe even accusing you of the very behavior they committed. To top it off, they played the victim and cast you as the real offender. The whole interaction left you upset and confused—even questioning your perception. Is it possible that you got the whole thing backwards? Congratulations, you have just been mugged by DARVO, an acronym that stands for 'Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.' DARVO is a technique we may well encounter in our daily life when dealing with sociopathic personalities. This type of person-to-person psychological warfare is designed to deflect any penalty for misbehavior, and turn it instead into an opportunity to gain power over you. For a well-adjusted, mentally healthy person, to be DARVO'd is a bewildering and unsettling experience. But once you understand how the technique works, you'll never have to be its victim again. [Arthur C. Brooks: The sociopaths among us—and how to avoid them] The acronym was devised in 1997 by the University of Oregon psychologist Jennifer Freyd, who has extensively studied domestic and sexual abuse, and the characteristics of those who often perpetrate it. She observed that when confronted with evidence of their misconduct, abusers typically begin by denying or minimizing culpability ('You're making a big deal out of nothing'), before accusing the victim of creating the problem ('You regret what happened, and now you're blaming me') and then reversing the roles of victim and offender ('You should really be the one apologizing'). Freyd's work generally focused on the worst kinds of transgressions, but together with other researchers, she found that DARVO also commonly occurs when some people face criticism for more ordinary misbehavior. Scholars in 2017 asked 138 undergraduate survey respondents to recall an occasion when they'd confronted another person over a clear wrongdoing, which could include instances of personal abuse, social exclusion, or the silent treatment. The researchers found that the victims had experienced some degree of DARVO behavior in the majority of the confrontations reported. The study also discovered that women were almost 25 percent more likely than men to experience the technique, and that DARVO is disturbingly effective at eliciting some measure of self-blame in its victims. DARVO behavior has some features in common with 'gaslighting,' a term that comes from the title of a 1938 British play in which an emotionally abusive husband manipulates his wife to convince her that she's losing her mind. The practice of deception and coercive control in classic gaslighting has led to a looser popular usage that describes how a perpetrator of harm, when called out for it, plays the victim by claiming that their action has been maliciously misrepresented. You can see how DARVO-like this Don't believe your lying eyes tactic is. This ploy is everywhere in politics, media, and the internet—anywhere, in fact, with a considerable population of bad-faith actors. Some scholars argue that we now inhabit a 'culture of offense,' a way of turning a claim that some behavior or statement is offensive into, in effect, a right to be offended, which creates a further claim of victimhood. I expect that we can all think of examples of how this culture can be used as a cudgel to disingenuously keep disfavored views and voices out of the public realm. Researchers have even identified a phenomenon we could call 'gaslighting squared'—when gaslighters themselves use an accusation of gaslighting against others. In this form of DARVO, they deny the charge of gaslighting, accuse you of gaslighting them instead, and achieve their victim-offender reversal that way. What type of person tends to gaslight others most effectively? The answer is the Dark Triad, the estimated 7 percent of the population I've written about previously who have above-average levels of three negative personality traits: narcissism (it's all about me), Machiavellianism (I'm willing to hurt you to get what I want), and psychopathy (I feel no empathy for you and no remorse when I victimize you). (Worried that you might be one? You can take a Dark Triad quiz here.) Researchers in 2021 showed that, in young adults, gaslighting is closely associated with Machiavellianism and psychopathy. Gaslighting is also strongly tied to sadism; in other words, when an abuser's duplicitousness causes you confusion and misery, they get a kick out of that. Sadism is such a persistent feature of this personality type, in fact, that some scholars regard it as the fourth trait of a Dark Tetrad character. If you sense that people who repeatedly use DARVO on you are fundamentally off, you may be right: Neurologically, at least, people who belong to the Dark Triad are different from the rest of the population. Observation and analysis have determined that these people have lower brain volume than the general population in areas related to emotional regulation (the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, the cingulate cortex) and reward (the ventral striatum, the orbitofrontal cortex). This is why 'curing' a gaslighter is so hard. Indeed, Dark Triad traits—especially when full-blown psychopathy is involved—are almost impossible to remedy. [Read: Are you using gaslight correctly?] But what about the victim of DARVO—the actual victim, not the self-proclaimed reverse one? For someone subjected to the technique, questioning whether the misbehavior really happened, or whether they somehow misjudged the situation, is actually an indicator of their emotional health. The very thing that makes you a decent human, in other words, is what the perpetrator seizes upon to induce doubt and self-blame. Susceptibility to this moral self-questioning is what DARVO aims to exploit. One useful tool to assess any interaction of this type that you may have had is Professor Freyd's DARVO Experiences Questionnaire. An obvious course of action, if you believe you have been a DARVO victim, is to avoid the perpetrator in the future. Dark Triads don't generally change their ways, because they can't alter the gray matter governing their emotional regulation and reward systems. Further, their psychopathic tendencies make them incapable of remorse: If you're not sorry for doing something, and it yielded the results you sought, you will go on doing it. Even better is to be able to identify a DARVO user before establishing a romance, friendship, or work partnership. One way to do this is by observing a person's internet activity, if you can. People with Dark Triad characteristics have been found to be especially drawn to what clinicians euphemistically call 'problematic social-media use.' Someone who's always getting into online fights, let alone trolling or doxxing, may be inclined toward the DARVO jiu-jitsu. And if you discover that they are gaslighting people online, you can bet they will gaslight you in real life. Beware and cut ties if you can. Take special care with dating: Dark Triads can present as charming and captivating, because they tend to be more invested in getting you to love them first than they are in establishing the basis of a mutually loving partnership. If you feel you're being swept off your feet, try to bring a healthy dose of skepticism to bear on this seeming dreamboat. Do your research—some digging into their social-media profiles, in particular: Are they very online? Do they get into a lot of scraps? Are they gaslighting others? If so, move on. Finally, it should go without saying, but avoid using DARVO yourself. If you were a true Dark Triad, I doubt you'd have bothered reading this column. But gaslighting behavior isn't a binary phenomenon; it comes in shades. Even a well-balanced person can lapse into some pathological interpersonal habits. If you think you may have indulged in some questionable retaliatory behavior, particularly when you felt criticized and defensive, go back to Freyd's DARVO quiz above and interrogate your own communications, especially those that involved some conflict. Most of us have probably been guilty of some version of this at some point. Do you find yourself ever playing the victim after having offended your romantic partner? Do you ever use attack as a way to fend off legitimate questions or accusations? Because the DARVO technique is so effective, you might have subtly adopted some of its features without even realizing. But you can be certain of this: DARVO destroys relationships. Use it persistently, and you might just find yourself gaslighting all the way to a divorce court. [Arthur C. Brooks: The ultimate antidote to toxic behavior online] One last point: Many instances in life can involve genuine miscommunication and confusion—a contretemps in which someone's intent was not to offend or hurt you, or when you were, in fact, thin-skinned. An honest person is open to that possibility, because none of us is perfect. A dishonest person, however, never admits to having misjudged another person, and will gladly turn defense into offense. So be alert to DARVO, and learn to avoid the perpetrators. But be alert also to your own potential to be a DARVO perpetrator, even in a partial or temporary way. If you can accept criticism from others with grace and humility—and never try to turn the tables by claiming victimhood for yourself at their expense—you will be well defended against gaslighting, yours and theirs. Article originally published at The Atlantic
Atlantic
10-04-2025
- Atlantic
How to Spot and Stop a Sociopath
Want to stay current with Arthur's writing? Sign up to get an email every time a new column comes out. 'What just happened?' you're asking yourself. You knew the conversation would be tricky because you had to tackle someone about their misbehavior. Maybe it was a colleague who claimed your work idea as their own; maybe it was a new friend who said nasty things behind your back; or maybe it was a romantic partner who was unfaithful. The evidence is incontrovertible—so much so that, had the boot been on the other foot, you would be confessing your error and asking for forgiveness. But that's not this person's MO. No, in the face of clear wrongdoing, they denied everything. Instead of showing contrition, they counterattacked, maybe even accusing you of the very behavior they committed. To top it off, they played the victim and cast you as the real offender. The whole interaction left you upset and confused—even questioning your perception. Is it possible that you got the whole thing backwards? Congratulations, you have just been mugged by DARVO, an acronym that stands for 'Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender.' DARVO is a technique we may well encounter in our daily life when dealing with sociopathic personalities. This type of person-to-person psychological warfare is designed to deflect any penalty for misbehavior, and turn it instead into an opportunity to gain power over you. For a well-adjusted, mentally healthy person, to be DARVO'd is a bewildering and unsettling experience. But once you understand how the technique works, you'll never have to be its victim again. Arthur C. Brooks: The sociopaths among us—and how to avoid them The acronym was devised in 1997 by the University of Oregon psychologist Jennifer Freyd, who has extensively studied domestic and sexual abuse, and the characteristics of those who often perpetrate it. She observed that when confronted with evidence of their misconduct, abusers typically begin by denying or minimizing culpability ('You're making a big deal out of nothing'), before accusing the victim of creating the problem ('You regret what happened, and now you're blaming me') and then reversing the roles of victim and offender ('You should really be the one apologizing'). Freyd's work generally focused on the worst kinds of transgressions, but together with other researchers, she found that DARVO also commonly occurs when some people face criticism for more ordinary misbehavior. Scholars in 2017 asked 138 undergraduate survey respondents to recall an occasion when they'd confronted another person over a clear wrongdoing, which could include instances of personal abuse, social exclusion, or the silent treatment. The researchers found that the victims had experienced some degree of DARVO behavior in the majority of the confrontations reported. The study also discovered that women were almost 25 percent more likely than men to experience the technique, and that DARVO is disturbingly effective at eliciting some measure of self-blame in its victims. DARVO behavior has some features in common with 'gaslighting,' a term that comes from the title of a 1938 British play in which an emotionally abusive husband manipulates his wife to convince her that she's losing her mind. The practice of deception and coercive control in classic gaslighting has led to a looser popular usage that describes how a perpetrator of harm, when called out for it, plays the victim by claiming that their action has been maliciously misrepresented. You can see how DARVO-like this Don't believe your lying eyes tactic is. This ploy is everywhere in politics, media, and the internet—anywhere, in fact, with a considerable population of bad-faith actors. Some scholars argue that we now inhabit a 'culture of offense,' a way of turning a claim that some behavior or statement is offensive into, in effect, a right to be offended, which creates a further claim of victimhood. I expect that we can all think of examples of how this culture can be used as a cudgel to disingenuously keep disfavored views and voices out of the public realm. Researchers have even identified a phenomenon we could call 'gaslighting squared'—when gaslighters themselves use an accusation of gaslighting against others. In this form of DARVO, they deny the charge of gaslighting, accuse you of gaslighting them instead, and achieve their victim-offender reversal that way. What type of person tends to gaslight others most effectively? The answer is the Dark Triad, the estimated 7 percent of the population I've written about previously who have above-average levels of three negative personality traits: narcissism (it's all about me), Machiavellianism (I'm willing to hurt you to get what I want), and psychopathy (I feel no empathy for you and no remorse when I victimize you). (Worried that you might be one? You can take a Dark Triad quiz here.) Researchers in 2021 showed that, in young adults, gaslighting is closely associated with Machiavellianism and psychopathy. Gaslighting is also strongly tied to sadism; in other words, when an abuser's duplicitousness causes you confusion and misery, they get a kick out of that. Sadism is such a persistent feature of this personality type, in fact, that some scholars regard it as the fourth trait of a Dark Tetrad character. If you sense that people who repeatedly use DARVO on you are fundamentally off, you may be right: Neurologically, at least, people who belong to the Dark Triad are different from the rest of the population. Observation and analysis have determined that these people have lower brain volume than the general population in areas related to emotional regulation (the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex, the cingulate cortex) and reward (the ventral striatum, the orbitofrontal cortex). This is why 'curing' a gaslighter is so hard. Indeed, Dark Triad traits—especially when full-blown psychopathy is involved—are almost impossible to remedy. But what about the victim of DARVO—the actual victim, not the self-proclaimed reverse one? For someone subjected to the technique, questioning whether the misbehavior really happened, or whether they somehow misjudged the situation, is actually an indicator of their emotional health. The very thing that makes you a decent human, in other words, is what the perpetrator seizes upon to induce doubt and self-blame. Susceptibility to this moral self-questioning is what DARVO aims to exploit. One useful tool to assess any interaction of this type that you may have had is Professor Freyd's DARVO Experiences Questionnaire. An obvious course of action, if you believe you have been a DARVO victim, is to avoid the perpetrator in the future. Dark Triads don't generally change their ways, because they can't alter the gray matter governing their emotional regulation and reward systems. Further, their psychopathic tendencies make them incapable of remorse: If you're not sorry for doing something, and it yielded the results you sought, you will go on doing it. Even better is to be able to identify a DARVO user before establishing a romance, friendship, or work partnership. One way to do this is by observing a person's internet activity, if you can. People with Dark Triad characteristics have been found to be especially drawn to what clinicians euphemistically call 'problematic social-media use.' Someone who's always getting into online fights, let alone trolling or doxxing, may be inclined toward the DARVO jiu-jitsu. And if you discover that they are gaslighting people online, you can bet they will gaslight you in real life. Beware and cut ties if you can. Take special care with dating: Dark Triads can present as charming and captivating, because they tend to be more invested in getting you to love them first than they are in establishing the basis of a mutually loving partnership. If you feel you're being swept off your feet, try to bring a healthy dose of skepticism to bear on this seeming dreamboat. Do your research—some digging into their social-media profiles, in particular: Are they very online? Do they get into a lot of scraps? Are they gaslighting others? If so, move on. Finally, it should go without saying, but avoid using DARVO yourself. If you were a true Dark Triad, I doubt you'd have bothered reading this column. But gaslighting behavior isn't a binary phenomenon; it comes in shades. Even a well-balanced person can lapse into some pathological interpersonal habits. If you think you may have indulged in some questionable retaliatory behavior, particularly when you felt criticized and defensive, go back to Freyd's DARVO quiz above and interrogate your own communications, especially those that involved some conflict. Most of us have probably been guilty of some version of this at some point. Do you find yourself ever playing the victim after having offended your romantic partner? Do you ever use attack as a way to fend off legitimate questions or accusations? Because the DARVO technique is so effective, you might have subtly adopted some of its features without even realizing. But you can be certain of this: DARVO destroys relationships. Use it persistently, and you might just find yourself gaslighting all the way to a divorce court. Arthur C. Brooks: The ultimate antidote to toxic behavior online One last point: Many instances in life can involve genuine miscommunication and confusion—a contretemps in which someone's intent was not to offend or hurt you, or when you were, in fact, thin-skinned. An honest person is open to that possibility, because none of us is perfect. A dishonest person, however, never admits to having misjudged another person, and will gladly turn defense into offense. So be alert to DARVO, and learn to avoid the perpetrators. But be alert also to your own potential to be a DARVO perpetrator, even in a partial or temporary way. If you can accept criticism from others with grace and humility—and never try to turn the tables by claiming victimhood for yourself at their expense—you will be well defended against gaslighting, yours and theirs.
