Latest news with #Disney-like
Los Angeles Times
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Los Angeles Times
Going bananas: Why Savannah Bananas tickets cost more than a Dodgers-Yankees rematch
In a region where baseball is king, the long-awaited rematch of last year's World Series between the Dodgers and Yankees is unfolding. Ohtani. Judge. Two of the game's best, facing off once more. But just down the 5 Freeway in Anaheim, the home of Disney, the hottest ticket in baseball this weekend belongs to a stilted pitcher, juggling infielders and a yellow-suited, top hat-wearing carnival barker. For back-to-back nights, more than 45,000 fans packed the Big A to see the Savannah Bananas — a team born from a small-time collegiate summer team that became a tour de force that has forever changed baseball. It was one stop during the Bananas' most audacious barnstorming effort since their baseball traveling show hit the road just a few years ago. These tickets were only available through a lottery — reserved months in advance. And when they went on sale, all were gone in an instant. The only way in was through the resale market, where just hours before first pitch on Friday, the lowest price (fees and taxes included) for a pair of tickets on StubHub was $209.52. Meanwhile, two lowest price StuHub tickets for the Dodgers versus Yankees game were available for $171.72. All for the sake of 'Banana Ball.' This baseball game is a ballyhoo. One rooted in the thrills, energy and pageantry of early 20th-century carnivals, but with a 21st-century twist — the atmosphere of a TikTok reel brought to life. It's the showmanship of Ringling Brothers Circus combined with the athletic flair of the Harlem Globetrotters. But above all, it's a brand built on Walt Disney's blueprint— not just to entertain, but to make the audience feel. 'When you look at all the touch points — the joy, the fun, the dancing, the celebrating — and think about all the different stages, just like Walt, we think about all the stages: from the parking lot to the plaza, to the upper deck, to the dugouts,' said Bananas owner Jesse Cole, the man in the top hat. 'How do we make someone feel something?' Instead of lounging in a cushy, air-conditioned owner's suite, Cole is in the dugout hours before showtime — a Disney-like archetype, his energy as vibrant as his layered, all-yellow suit, braving the afternoon heat. 'Nonstop,' Cole said, describing Banana Ball in a nutshell. Refusing to sit, not wanting to lose an ounce of edge, he added, 'It's all about energy. We want to give people energy, delivering it every second, from the moment we open the gates at two o'clock until the last fan leaves at 11.' While gates opened at 2 p.m., fans began arriving as early as 11 a.m. — clamoring for a shot at Banana-themed merchandise, many leaving the team tents with bags in both hands. In the parking lot, two young boys passed the time playing catch, gloves in hand. As the afternoon wore on and the temperature climbed to 91 degrees, crowds trudged through the heat, some seeking refuge beneath the oversized Angels helmets at the stadium entrance, all for a chance to meet their favorite Banana Ballers. At the pregame plaza party, fans collected autographs, posed for photos and presented handmade gifts to players. When the gates opened, the LaCaze family pointed out their 9-year-old daughter's favorite player, David 'DR' Meadows. Decked out in her signed Meadows jersey, Carrigan LaCaze ran into his arms, with glove and oversized baseball clutched tightly and began speaking with him as if they were old friends. 'I ran to DR, and we started hugging and just started talking for a while because I missed him,' Carrigan LaCaze said. 'Tomorrow is actually one year on the dot since I met him.' A Christmas road trip planned around the holidays, the family of four traveled across three states from their home in Alexandria, La., to Anaheim for two reasons: to visit Disneyland and see the Bananas. It was their second game — the family first saw the Bananas in the club's hometown of Savannah, Ga., when Carrigan, who is battling cystic fibrosis, was granted a Make-A-Wish experience so meaningful it was a no-brainer to relive it. 'It's great,' her father, Pierre LaCaze, said of the player interactions. 'We've gotten to keep track with some of them during the course of the year. We come back, we see them again. You know they're truly about the fans.' The Bananas don't sell tickets. They sell connections, moments and memories. For Cole, meetings are a constant brainstorming session on how to keep fans engaged and interacting. That's how he measures success. He says when the focus shifts to transactions, the game begins to lose its meaning. 'Our success is not judged by revenue,' Cole said. 'It's not judged by sales. It's judged by the moments we create.' But the numbers don't lie. The last time the Bananas came to Southern California, they played in front of 5,000 fans at LoanMart Field in Rancho Cucamonga in 2023 — a far cry from now selling out 18 major league ballparks and three football stadiums with capacities over 70,000. Attendance has soared year after year. Last season, the Bananas drew one million fans. This year, that number is expected to double, with more than three million people on the waitlist for their ticket lottery. Every game since February has sold out and every date in June and July is as well. Michael and Melinda Schulteis, a husband and wife from Mission Viejo, were there the last time the Bananas came to town. When they heard the team was returning, they knew they couldn't miss it. 'The intimate atmosphere at the last event was great,' Melinda Schulteis said. 'But I'm curious, because they do such a good job putting on events, what touches are they going to add to still keep it close and intimate and give us another great experience?' As the Bananas' success and reach have grown, spilling out from cozy minor league parks into stadiums not built for intimacy, the games still feel like family gatherings. Whether serenading players with stadium anthems like Bon Jovi's 'Livin' on a Prayer' or the waving of phone lights to Coldplay's 'Yellow,' the crowd moves in sync, no matter the tune. While they're a privately owned team and don't disclose revenue figures, they've confirmed generating millions. Much like their box office appeal, their social media reach extends into the millions as well. Their antics — choreographed dances, lip-synced walk-ups, backflip outfield catches — have attracted nearly 10 million followers on TikTok, almost double the combined total of the Dodgers and Angels. That viral mastery, and the parasocial bonds it fosters, is part of what makes every game feel tight-knit. With his glove by his side, hoping to catch a foul ball for an out — one of the many offbeat rules of Banana Ball — Michael Schulties was disappointed he missed his favorite player, RobertAnthony Cruz, whom he first discovered on social media through his baseball coaching channel, better known as 'Coach RAC.' Cruz, who drew the longest meet-and-greet line, is a former minor leaguer in the Nationals' farm system and a local — born just an hour away in Fontana. The game was a homecoming for Cruz, who joined the Bananas in 2023. With more than 70 family members and friends in attendance — and even more social media direct messages asking for tickets — playing in big league stadiums has become a dream come true, especially for a former minor leaguer whose baseball ambitions nearly died when he never got the call to the show. Behind all the gimmicks, wackiness and absurdity, the roster is still filled with ballplayers — many of them with unrealized MLB dreams — now finding a second life through Banana Ball. And for Cruz, it's the happiest he's ever been in the sport. 'I never would have imagined playing in this capacity,' Cruz said. 'Banana Ball didn't even exist when I was pursuing my dream of professional baseball. To be here, to see a sold-out crowd at a stadium that I went to growing up all the time, it's very special.' As the team travels the nation, sold-out crowds and newfound stardom have become the norm for Cruz. 'I'm not surprised by anything anymore,' Cruz said. 'If you told me that we're playing on the moon next year, I'd be like, 'All right, cool. Let me know when and where, and I'll be there' … I wouldn't be surprised if this thing continues to grow at an unprecedented rate.' Despite their growing success, the Bananas' brand of baseball remains polarizing — an easy target for detractors of zaniness, gatekeepers of fun and opponents of pizzazz who either don't understand it or refuse to see its appeal. 'Anybody that criticizes this, we're not for them,' Cole said. 'There's tradition in baseball, perfect. They've got Major League Baseball. … For people that want to come out and have fun, not take themselves too seriously and see something they've never seen before — and hopefully see the greatest show in sports — we built something for you.' The formula works. And again, the numbers don't lie. Yes, the Savannah Bananas' brand of baseball is far too outlandish ever to be compared to the major leagues — from flaming baseballs, rump-shaking umps and dress rehearsals. That's the point. It all feels like something conjured from the wildest dreams of the late Bill Veeck's imagination found a home, in a good way. With many of the Banana Ball's 11 rules — like an automatic strike when hitters step out of the box or ejecting bunting hitters because bunting 'sucks' — are grounded in some sports-based logic, the innovations remain sacrilegious to baseball purists. But for a fleeting moment in December, Major League Baseball and Banana Ball were almost linked. In Banana Ball, the Golden Batter rule allows teams, once per game, to send their best hitter to the plate regardless of where they fall in the batting order. MLB commissioner Rob Manfred caused a stir when he floated a potential seismic rule by floating, making an offhand comment about the golden batter rule. Manfred later clarified it was merely 'a very preliminary conversation' among members of the league's competition committee and had not been formally discussed by the full ownership group. A far-fetched idea, but Manfred has ushered in sweeping changes, from the widely praised pitch clock to the more contentious extra-inning 'ghost runner.' 'Anything that's best for the fans, I'm all in,' Cole said of its potential. 'I know Major League Baseball won't do it because of traditions, but ... we've had a lot of fun doing it.' But MLB would be behind the Bananas, who already introduced their version of the rule last season with a typical flair and showmanship. Their spin on it is a batter summoned from the dugout wearing a James Brown-esque cape and a gleaming golden helmet — an honor that went to Joe Lytle, who came to bat in the top of the ninth for the Bananas' Anaheim opponent, the Firefighters. Ultimately, in a game where the score isn't the end-all, be-all — but the fun is — the Bananas beat the Firefighters 5–2. Like any other Bananas game, the festivities took center stage. It began with the 'First Peel,' a signature ceremony in which a young fan bites into a banana to declare whether it's good or bad — setting the tone for the night. Heisman Trophy winner and USC legend Matt Leinart threw out the ceremonial first spiral (because, of course, he did). And in true fashion, Angels World Series MVP Troy Glaus made a surprise cameo as a pinch hitter. But what was more important was the trip to Anaheim, a fitting one for Cole and Co. The team that opened its season lip-syncing 'Be Our Guest' from the Disney classic 'Beauty and the Beast' — and its owner, cut from the same theatrical cloth as Disney — were celebrated a visit to the Happiest Place on Earth — Disneyland. Greeted by fans in yellow gear, Cole's creation — the Bananas — marched in step down Main Street U.S.A., alongside Walt's own — Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Donald Duck. 'When I walked underneath the castle and over the bridge and in front of thousands of people, they were all there for us,' Cole said. 'Then I look and see Walt's statue, holding the hand of Mickey, and I see that and I'm like, 'This is special.'' It was a full-circle moment for Cole, who became 'immersed in the magic' after his first trip to Disney World as a kid — and who now says, 'In a perfect world, I'd play catch with Walt on Main Street.' Serendipity. 'For me, that was an emotional moment — to know that we have worked so hard to create something that means something to people, that they come from all over the country just for a chance to see us,' Cole added.
Glasgow Times
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- Glasgow Times
Visit Arundel Castle a Disney like gem 2 hours from Watford
Just a two-hour drive from Watford, Arundel Castle is easy to reach but looks straight out of a Disney movie. You can also take the train from Watford Junction to Clapham Junction and then grab a second train to Arundel town, which is just a 20-minute walk from the castle. Perfect for children and adults, Arundel Castle has lots to explore and will keep everyone entertained. You can find out more about Arundel Castle via the website. Arundel Castle is a Disney-like gem just 2 hours from Watford The Arundel Castle website shares that the estate's story begins in 1067 with the grand building still retaining many of its original features, including the Norman Keep. During the late 1800s, the castle was nearly all rebuilt to transform it into a breathtaking Gothic style home, which is said to "be one of the great works of Victorian England". Along with the castle itself, the gardens are also not to be missed, with the English Rose Garden very popular among visitors. The garden is filled with an array of flowers, including Penelope Lively, Young Lycidas, Emily Bronte, Oliver Austin, Desdemona, Wild Edric and Shropshire Lad. The Arundel Castle shares that the gardens and landscapes are "beautiful", adding: "Over the last 20 years the gardens have been transformed, led by the Castle's renowned and highly respected Head Gardener Martin Duncan, whose personal achievement was recognised in 2018 with the award of the Kew Guild Medal." The castle also hosts a range of events throughout the year, including the Medieval Festival Weekend and Medieval Jousting Tournament. Arundel Castle is open from April 1 to November 2 in 2025, with the gardens and castle open daily except on Mondays. There is a range of tickets depending on what you want to see, ranging from £30 per adult to see everything, or £12.50 for a child. You can book tickets via the Arundel Castle website. On the online review site, Tripadvisor, Arundel Castle has a rating of 4.6/5 from more than 3,600 reviews. Recommended Reading One guest said: "An experience not to be missed. Stunning grounds and gardens, breathtaking. The history of the castle was amazing, and the rooms were fantastic. Well worth the money." Another guest said: "It was the second time I have visited the gardens at Arundel Castle and they were just as spectacularly beautiful." A third happy guest wrote: "The gardens are a true masterpiece. The colourful splendour of the flowers is just breathtaking. The interior of the castle is an example of classic English aristocratic elegance. A must-visit!"
New Straits Times
22-05-2025
- Entertainment
- New Straits Times
#SHOWBIZ: Aina Abdul chosen to sing official Asean Summit 2025 song
KUALA LUMPUR: Talented singer and composer Aina Abdul continues to solidify her position in the local music industry, having been selected to perform the official song for the Asean Summit 2025, titled Our Land, Our Home. The song, which carries a message of regional unity, will enliven the 46th Asean Summit, set to take place here next week. A collaborative effort between Aina, renowned composer Datuk Mokhzani Ismail, and lyricist Rafiza Rahman, the anthem highlights both musical excellence and cultural pride. According to Berita Harian, Aina expressed her excitement and gratitude for the opportunity. "I was approached by Datuk Mokhzani in February to record and perform this song for the summit. "After I agreed, we worked together to create a melody that would suit my tone and vocal range. "Praise be to God, everything went smoothly, and I feel honoured to be part of this historic event," said the 31-year-old award-winning artiste. Meanwhile, Mokhzani, who also serves as RTM's music director, shared that the song adopts a sing-along concept with a Disney-like feel, incorporating traditional drum elements to reflect local identity. Rafiza, an administrative and diplomatic officer (PTD) from the Ministry of Communications, said she penned the lyrics with the aim of uniting people across Asia in a diverse, multicultural community. Recorded with the RTM Orchestra, Our Land, Our Home is now receiving widespread airplay on radio and television, serving as a key element in setting the tone for the prestigious Asean Summit.
IOL News
21-05-2025
- Entertainment
- IOL News
Carol Thorns releases heartfelt tribute to loss with ‘Amazing Grace'
South African cellis, Carol Thorns, has just released a new single and video to honour the profound loss of loved ones. Image: Anita Olckers In a poignant tribute to lost loved ones, award-winning South African cellist Carol Thorns has released a new single and music video that captures the essence of grief and healing. The piece, a beautifully rendered version of the timeless hymn 'Amazing Grace', emerges from a deeply personal experience of loss that Thorns endured in 2024. 'I lost not only my mother and my 'second mother' (my aunt), but also two very close musician friends: singer Zami Mdingi and composer/producer Helmut Meijer,' Thorns shared. 'My heartache felt too much to bear. During that period, the only thing that brought me comfort was playing my cello.' Her connection to "Amazing Grace" served as a refuge in her time of sorrow, leading her to create a version meant to resonate with those also struggling with grief. Collaborating with renowned Australian pianist Kev Lee for the arrangement and South African producer Konstand Spies for the recording, Thorns found herself overwhelmed with emotion upon hearing the final edit of the single. Realising the profound impact the piece could have, she decided to film a music video to visually express the heartfelt sentiment encapsulated in her rendition. The music video was filmed in a candlelit chapel at The Sanctuary, an enchanting island-chapel located at La Roche in Franschhoek. With the challenge of capturing the serene ambience while contending with Disney-like wind gusts, a team readied 600 candles, determining not to let the elements disrupt their emotional expression. 'Although it all looks perfectly serene on camera, the wind was gusty, and we scrambled to tape closed the gaps around windows and under doors,' Thorns explained. 'Yet, incredibly, not one person spoke throughout the recording. It was an extraordinary experience.' Video Player is loading. Play Video Play Unmute Current Time 0:00 / Duration -:- Loaded : 0% Stream Type LIVE Seek to live, currently behind live LIVE Remaining Time - 0:00 This is a modal window. Beginning of dialog window. Escape will cancel and close the window. Text Color White Black Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Background Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Transparent Window Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Transparent Semi-Transparent Opaque Font Size 50% 75% 100% 125% 150% 175% 200% 300% 400% Text Edge Style None Raised Depressed Uniform Dropshadow Font Family Proportional Sans-Serif Monospace Sans-Serif Proportional Serif Monospace Serif Casual Script Small Caps Reset restore all settings to the default values Done Close Modal Dialog End of dialog window. Advertisement Next Stay Close ✕ Thorns' heartfelt message of solace found immediate resonance with audiences. The very first feedback she received was from a listener who shared, 'I'd phone you to tell you how absolutely beautiful your 'Amazing Grace' is but I'm sobbing my heart out. My mom died in October last year… and I'm trying to find a way to make peace with it.' This response deeply moved Thorns, showcasing the power of music as a connector during shared periods of mourning. 'It brings me a sense of peace to know that this song and video bring comfort to others,' she said. 'I have been a musician for many decades, and this moment in time has made me feel truly connected to the bigger picture— the ineffable bond we share as humans in our collective experiences.' Celebrated as a trailblazer in the electric string genre, Thorns' artistry has enthralled audiences around the globe. Her innovative projects like The Bubble, CODA Africa, and the visually stunning Galaxy Dress have established her as a creative force in the music scene. Notably, her solo album 'Sanctuary' received a nomination for the 2023 South African Music Awards (SAMA), further highlighting her influential standing in the industry. Having shared the stage with icons like Vanessa Mae and Elton John, and performed for the likes of J Lo and John Legend, Thorns continues to elevate the profile of the cello on a global scale. Her electric cello has wowed audiences across various regions, leaving a memorable impression with each performance, including her recent act at the Bidvest Gala Dinner in Reykjavik, Iceland. The release of the 'Amazing Grace' video demonstrates that Thorns not only captures the musical essence of hope and healing but also embraces an important dimension of human connection in our shared journey through loss.
Times
28-04-2025
- Business
- Times
Are you emotionally fit? Take the test
Dr Emily Anhalt is a clinical psychologist and 'emotional fitness expert'. She co-founded a company that she describes as a 'gym for mental health '. Before you judge, she has consulted for American Express, the NBA, Google, Nasdaq, Unilever, Bloomberg and Spotify, among others. We are communal beings and intelligence is little use without emotional intelligence, she says. In her new book, Flex Your Feelings — Train Your Brain to Develop the 7 Traits of Emotional Fitness, Anhalt clarifies what being emotionally 'fit' actually is. It is not indulgence, it is 'self-maintenance'. It's about learning effectively to manage stress and your emotions, and she claims it will transform your relationships. As it is, when the going gets tough, many high-functioning entrepreneurs simply 'work even harder'. Just because people are accomplished and successful, she notes, 'it doesn't mean they don't struggle'. Hmm, are we surprised? Anhalt, 38, is a Silicon Valley native, and presumably has an unending supply of prospective clients. I'm in a glass house throwing stones, of course. With UK clients, Anhalt confides, she sometimes perceives 'a cultural and societal discouragement of being too focused on feelings'. She calls it 'stiff-upper-lip energy'. According to Anhalt, there can be a misconception, especially for men, that feelings equate to 'weakness'. She adds: 'What I have seen is that men who are always pushing away their emotions are more likely to be controlled by them. Men who allow themselves to feel their feelings are the ones who can make decisions from a stronger and more grounded place.' We're talking on Zoom and Anhalt's screen has such fuzzed-out effects she looks almost Disney-like, which is slightly disconcerting. But her every point is pin-sharp. She's also easy company — warm, open and engaged. Many high achievers assume that once they reach a certain level of success they will feel confident. 'But in my experience, confidence isn't a destination, it is a skill,' Anhalt says. 'And so the goal of emotional fitness is to teach people to build emotional resilience so that they don't just look strong on the outside, they feel strong on the inside.' And, crucially, you'll be nicer to be around. 'Anything we're trying to pursue in life is going to rely on the relationships that we have,' she says. 'Emotional fitness will strengthen the relationship you have to yourself and others, which will then benefit you, no matter what you're trying to achieve'. Here's how you can hone those seven traits. Work on your ability to tolerate discomfort Tolerance of emotional discomfort is key because 'every single thing that a person wants or needs in life lives on the other side of some discomfort', Anhalt says. She claims that when you can't bear discomfort your response in any challenging situation will be about escaping it, 'and often that's not the most important thing'. Say, if your partner is crying, you might leave the room. Only if you can tolerate uncertainty and not being in control will you be able to 'focus on what's best for the relationship'. If you can bear discomfort, Anhalt says, you increase your options — for example, saying no to extra work instead of yes. She suggests saying: 'Let me think about that.' It gives you time to calm your nervous system and realise: 'I think no is the best answer here. I can handle this discomfort.' Anhalt also notes that drinking too much, overeating or overworking is often a way of avoiding difficult feelings. 'If you want to understand why you do something, stop doing it and see how you feel.' Explore the worry beneath. Remind yourself that the discomfort will pass. Developing curiosity by dissecting your reputation We sometimes need to be defensive to protect ourselves. 'But often we can be defensive in a way that stops us learning the information about ourselves that we need to know.' Anhalt adds: 'Curiosity is welcoming and even asking for information. If you can tolerate difficult feedback, you will learn, and be better as a result.' She says many entrepreneurs believe that a lack of curiosity (ignoring 'the haters') helped them to succeed. However, Anhalt reminds us that 'the way other people perceive us is important, and if we're not willing to look at that, and adjust ourselves at least some of the time, our relationships won't be as strong'. Terrifyingly, she suggests asking friends for feedback. I venture that her earnest phrasing on what one could do 10 per cent better, and saying 'thank you for helping me be my best self' is un-British. We settle on 'Be honest — is there anything I do that annoys you?' ('More blunt. That's great,' Anhalt says.) Be routinely curious about yourself. It might feel unacceptable to be angry at your boss, so you might channel that anger somewhere else, Anhalt says, and maybe snap at your kids without realising. Ideally, you might ask, 'Where else might this feeling belong?' But isn't such behaviour unconscious? She replies: 'You're describing exactly why an ongoing mental fitness practice is so important.' So take a little time daily to reflect and internal curiosity becomes a reflex. Self-awareness is tough (the emotional equivalent of a split squat) Anhalt says: 'Often, people feel that life is happening to them, and they are not really in control.' She adds, 'Self-awareness is the realisation that you have a lot more agency than you're giving yourself credit for.' She claims that taking responsibility can actually be 'scary but energising'. Self-awareness is the ability to understand your personality traits, triggers, biases, strengths and struggles. And the more you can understand and identify, 'the more capable you will be of understanding and identifying other people's feelings'. Knowing yourself is powerful because then you 'understand the role you are playing in your relationships and in life'. Still, introspection is tough. Anhalt cites a study that found that most people would prefer an electric shock to sitting with their thoughts. But she claims that if we can put words to what's happening inside our mind and our heart, people are much more likely to be able to support and understand us. She explains: 'If you said to your partner, 'I'm angry at you,' that's helpful, but try switching instead to 'I feel lonely in our conversations sometimes' — isn't that a much more powerful and clear communication? You are sharing a more accurate map of how to get to what you need.' Resilience is about adaptability not strength Anhalt describes an entrepreneur whose company collapsed. He moved straight onto his next project, likening it to 'returning to the gym too quickly after an injury'. He hadn't grieved his loss, and remained full of stress, pain and resentment, which negatively affected his decision-making. 'This idea that being resilient means putting your head down and pushing forward no matter what is an unrealistic way of navigating life,' Anhalt says. 'In my mind, resilience is actually about letting yourself acknowledge and feel the difficulties of life — and the moments of beauty and joy.' Anhalt defines resilience as 'bouncing forward through setbacks and failures instead of bouncing back', adding that rather than trying to erase or deny a bad experience and getting back to where we were, we can use these difficulties as learning opportunities. She describes this as 'going forward with an accurate view'. For example, if we don't acknowledge the pain of a relationship breakup, we carry it with us to our next relationship. Some dreadful experiences are those we just survive, Anhalt says. 'I still believe that resilience means acknowledging it was really hard rather than trying to deny the impact.' Flex your empathy muscle Some people intellectually understand another's upset, but aren't willing or able to feel their emotion. That's sympathy. Empathy is superior emotion. 'It's just a completely different experience,' Anhalt says, adding that with empathy, the other person feels far more supported and understood. 'There's a reason that when we go through something really tough, what can often be the most helpful is to find people who've been through a similar thing.' She adds: 'By feeling less alone in an emotion, it becomes more tolerable.' Empathy also makes you a more effective manager. Anhalt cites a study that found that if bosses were empathetic, 86 per cent of employees would feel more able to handle work pressures. If you're finding it hard to drum up empathy for someone, knowing — even imagining — that there's context to their behaviour can give you a boost. Empathy allows you to move through life more peacefully because you don't take everything personally. And do extend empathy to yourself, Anhalt says. 'It will never work to hate yourself into a better version of who you are.' • Can you teach empathy? As a psychotherapist I'd say yes Rest and be more playful Being playful — to be creative, to do it for fun, not to 'win' — reflects good emotional fitness. It's the opposite of rigidity, and critical to our social, emotional and cognitive development. But child or adult, you have to feel safe to play, Anhalt says. 'Play means you are leaving a protective stance and moving towards a collaborative stance.' Often, a hallmark of a healthy relationship is a playful relationship. If your boss indicates that your job is on the line, or your partner is volatile, you won't feel playful. Instead, you'll toe the line — you won't dare suggest anything new or different. 'Innovation is a direct result of playfulness,' she says. Communicating is a 'heavy lift' — but it might save your (sex) life According to Anhalt, communicating well prevents small problems from ballooning. While it involves sharing your feelings, needs and expectations with thoughtfulness and accuracy, she reminds us that you must 'listen as much as you speak'. And ask plenty of questions. Being a skilled communicator enables you to work through conflict collaboratively and repair the relationship after it. 'Let's say you are feeling unsatisfied with your sex life,' Anhalt says. 'But you don't want to say anything to your partner because that would lead to an uncomfortable conversation. A year later, resentment has built. And now you're so unhappy it feels like the only option is to end the relationship or to have an affair.' Rewind. 'You tell your partner, 'I know this is uncomfortable, but I'd really love for some things to be different about our sex life. Can we think together about what needs to change? Can I share what I'm not satisfied with and what would feel better?'' This could transform your love life (Note: all seven traits might be required for this to happen.) Communication — or the lack of it — might be the difference between a satisfying relationship and no relationship. Anhalt says conflict to a relationship is as exercise to a muscle. 'When we exercise we are damaging our muscle, but when we repair, it heals stronger than it was before,' she says. 'Similarly, relationships that are not afraid of conflict and also repair that conflict — those will be stronger relationships.' Thriving or just survivng? Take the test To help you gauge where you are in terms of your emotional fitness, take this simple quiz. On a scale of 1 to 5 (with 1 meaning this is a huge struggle for me and 5 meaning this is a huge strength for me), how emotionally fit do you feel in each of the seven traits? Let's take each trait one by one.
