03-08-2025
"It's Sad When It Gets To This": People Are Revealing The Subtle Signs That Indicate Someone Is Quietly Planning To Leave Their Relationship, And This Is Heartbreaking
Relationships come and go, but some people change habits and behaviors long before they even officially break up. So when I saw Reddit user Same_Market2143 ask: "What's a sign someone is quietly planning to leave their relationship/marriage?" I wanted to share everyone's responses. Here's what they said below:
1."They stop arguing. Total silence replaces fights they've checked out."
—Key_Use_676
"The opposite of love isn't hate. It is indifference."
—Einar23HD
2."They take longer routes home. Every time."
—Admirable-Study560
"And/or stay in their cars for as long as they can when they arrive home.
Just want to say this is an indicator and not a fool-proof way to tell that something is wrong in your relationship. I understand there are other reasons people chill in their car before heading inside."
—Ill-Squirrel-9418
3."My ex-wife and I had a roommate, and when they found a new place, she started helping them pack their clothes into boxes. A few days before their actual move-out date, I noticed some of her things weren't around anymore, things I was used to seeing every day. That's when it hit me: She was quietly packing up her own stuff too. A week later, both the roommate and my wife moved out."
—whstlngisnvrenf
"Did they move out together into a shared space? Were they romantically involved?"
—Americano_Joe
"Yes, they moved out together into the same place.
No. Neither woman is lesbian nor bisexual. All this happened 15 years ago."
—whstlngisnvrenf
4."When the conversations get shorter and the silences get louder."
—Many-Stress1356
"And when the other partner either doesn't notice, or thinks it's a positive change (finally some peace and quiet)? Absolutely doomed."
—jc_chienne
5."You can't figure out the last time you had sex or had a romantic moment."
—CtrlAltDeleteY0u
"It's sad when it gets to this, especially if you keep trying to have the intimacy but the effort just seems one-sided, and you just get rejected over and over for a long, long time. You start wishing you didnt have feelings for the person anymore so you wouldn't notice this lack of any romance or would stop having the need for it."
—cheesy_way_out
6."They don't look you in the eye. Disengagement. Day-to-day stuff, they can engage, but nothing deeper than that."
—Knute5
"This sadly also describes me, thanks to my anxiety and depression. I sincerely hope my wife isn't reading this and thinks I'm getting ready to leave her. She's my entire world, and I would not be here amongst the living if not for her."
—JPMoney81
7."They start buying new clothes but don't mention where they're going."
—Still_Fee497
8."They stop giving a damn about anything to do with you. They make future plans that clearly don't have you in them."
—blad02887f
9."When they suddenly get super secretive with their phone, even though they never cared before."
—misscexy
"At my son's little league game, I accidentally folded my wife's phone up in the collapsible chair. She about body slammed the chair to get her phone back."
—saltfish
10."The partner's friends see you a lot less."
—girlgoneawhile
11."As a man, I did several things that should have (and eventually did, but not until the last second) tipped off my soon-to-be ex-wife."
"I grew my hair long. It's still long. It's symbolic in that it grew along with my inner strength and will. I'm keeping it this way because it looks good, and I fucking like it, and it's my body to do with as I please.
I threw myself hard into health and fitness. Not to attract women, I have zero interest in ever having another relationship, but for me. I want to be the best version of myself as I age, for me and for my kids.
I grew increasingly calm and willing to walk away from arguments. Screaming at each other didn't solve a damn thing and just upset the kids, so I refused to do it anymore. Talking never solved a thing, so I stopped doing it. She thought she'd won, but I had stopped even playing the game.
I started going to therapy. She thought it was to work on all the things she said were wrong with me, but really it was to work on the things I wanted to improve about myself, and to work through all the damage she had caused from years of emotional and physical abuse.
I started being very frugal because I was saving money as hard as I could, so I could afford to move out, hire an attorney, etc.
Sex became far less frequent, and even when we did have sex, half the time I'd just get tired and quit in the middle of it. It's difficult to be passionate about the person who makes you miserable every day."
—Fluffy-Fox-9862
12."Finances change. Someone getting ready to leave a marriage is likely making sure their own finances are in order first."
—babsalogna
13."Buying individual items of things you already share. Before I left my ex, I bought my own Nintendo Switch even though we had one together, because I knew he'd take it, and I didn't want to game on a console I'd lose."
"In the same vein, watch out for a partner who is suddenly backing up/transferring data from shared devices to their personal storage."
—Responsible_Ad_2937
14."Small things you've done for the person you love are gone. He always bought you that soda you like, now he suddenly forgets? She used to write you small texts of affection, but now the phone is silent at work. You don't care if they call. You don't care when they take longer hours at work."
—empty-atom
finally, "I took off my rings about a month before I asked for a divorce. They started hurting my skin even before I made my decision."
—SomeRandom215
Is there a clear sign that signals that someone is quietly planning to leave their relationship/marriage? Tell us in the comments or anonymously in the Google Form below:"
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