Latest news with #ElaineSwann
Business Insider
5 days ago
- Business Insider
ChatGPT is making us weird
The other day, my family group chat lit up when I posed a question about whether it's important to say "please" and "thank you" to ChatGPT when asking it to conduct a niche search or plan out an itinerary. My mother, ever a stickler for manners, said she makes a conscious choice to behave in this way. A choice she said she makes to "keep myself human." Another loved one later admitted she's been leaning on the chatbot for guidance as she navigates a tricky moment in her marriage. And I couldn't resist my temptation to ask ChatGPT to evaluate how attractive I am after The Washington Post reported that people were asking it for beauty advice. (It said I have "strong, expressive features," then told me to stand up straighter and smile more.) But I know it's not just my immediate circle: ChatGPT is making everyone behave a little strange. As large language models become fixtures of our digital lives, the ways we engage with them reveal a society in flux, where machines aren't only mimicking human interaction but quietly altering the expectations and norms that govern it. Business Insider spoke with four professionals who interact with chatbots like OpenAI's GPT models in radically different ways — a sociologist, a psychologist, a digital etiquette coach, and a sex therapist — to explore how the rise of AI is changing how we see each other, how we view ourselves, as well as how it's disrupting our manners and intimate lives. The conversations centered on ChatGPT, since OpenAI's chatbot is quickly becoming the AI world's equivalent of what Google is to search engines, but the professionals said similar conclusions could be drawn for Meta AI, Microsoft Copilot, Anthropic's Claude, or any other large language model on the market today. A change in the social contract Digital etiquette consultant and author Elaine Swann said that society has needed to adapt to new social cues as each wave of technology has changed our lives. While we've largely collectively agreed that it's all right to use shorthand in personal email correspondence and rude to take a cellphone call on speakerphone in public, we're still establishing a social code for how to interact with AI bots and agents. Kelsey Vlamis, a senior reporter at Business Insider, said she's started seeing a chatbot-related change in her personal life. While on vacation in Italy, she said her husband found himself impatient with their tour guide, consciously having to keep himself from interrupting with questions "since that's how he talks to ChatGPT when he is trying to learn something." Of course, he had to hold himself back, Vlamis added, "since that is not, in fact, how we talk to human beings." Since AI has gained momentum, social media is full of posts asking whether it's appropriate for a spouse to use ChatGPT to write a love note to their partner, or for a worker to rely on an AI agent to fill out a job application on their behalf. The jury's still out on situations like these. "AI is certainly smarter now, which is great for us, but at the same time, we have to be very careful that it doesn't substitute basically our judgment or empathy," Swann said. "We have to be careful with it, not just utilizing it as our sole source of information, but also making sure that we put a mirror up to ourselves in how we use it, and running its suggestions by people that we know and care about." Maintaining our baseline levels of respect — not just for each other, but the world around us — is also key, Swann said. After OpenAI CEO Sam Altman posted on X in late April that it costs "tens of millions of dollars" for the company to process niceties like "please" and "thank you" directed toward ChatGPT, she stressed that it's up to the company to make processing those statements more cost-effective, not up to users to stop being polite. "This is the world that we create for ourselves," Swann said. "And AI should also understand that this is how we speak to one another, because we're teaching it to give that back to us." Altman, for his part, said the massive amount of funds used on polite requests toward ChatGPT is money "well spent." Exacerbated biases Laura Nelson, an associate professor of sociology at the University of British Columbia, said that because the world's most popular chatbots are created by American companies, written by US-based programmers, and trained primarily on content written in the English language, they have deeply entrenched biases that are often seen in Western cultures. "It's really important to keep in mind that it's a particular world view that these algorithms have based their training data on," Nelson said. So if you ask ChatGPT to draw you a picture of a plate of breakfast, it'll conjure typical North American foods: bacon, eggs, sausage, and toast. It describes a bottle of wine as a "classic and thoughtful gift," though in many cultures, alcohol is rarely consumed, and a bottle would make a tone-deaf present. While those examples are relatively harmless, the bots also exacerbate more insidious and potentially damaging biases. A 2021 study published in Psychology & Marketing found that people prefer AI to be anthropomorphized as female in their devices, like it is in most pop culture representations, because it makes the technology seem more human. However, the study found that preference may be inadvertently entrenching the objectification of women. There have also been numerous reports that lonely, mostly male, users may verbally abuse or degrade their AI companions. Business Insider previously reported that artificial intelligence is also rife with discriminatory bias due to the data it's trained on, and ChatGPT in particular showed racial bias when screening résumés for jobs, over-selecting Asian women candidates and under-selecting Black men. While these biases may not immediately change our behavior, they can impact our thinking and the ways we operate as a society, Nelson said. And if ChatGPT or other AI applications are implemented into our decision-making, whether in our personal lives, in the workplace, or at the legal level, it'll have wide-reaching effects we haven't even considered yet. "There's just no question that AI is going to reflect our biases — our collective biases — back to it," Nelson said. "But there are a lot of people interacting with these bots, and we have no data to suggest what the global trends are, or the effects it's going to have long-term. It's a tricky thing to get a handle on." A largely untraced social shift Concrete data about the societal shift caused by AI is hard to come by, but the companies behind the tech know something is happening. Many of them have dedicated teams to figure out what effect their technology has on users, but their publicly available findings aren't peer-reviewed like a typical scientific study would be. OpenAI announced that a recent update to the GPT-4o model had a hiccup. It was "noticeably more sycophantic" than prior models, the company said in a press release. While it passed OpenAI's self-described "vibe check" and safety testing, they rolled it back after realizing its programming to please the user could fuel anger, urge impulsive actions, or reinforce negative emotions "in ways that were not intended." The company's announcement highlighted that OpenAI is keenly aware that the various AI applications gaining momentum online — from digital romantic partners to study buddies to gift-suggesting elves — have also started to have creeping effects on human emotions and behavior. When reached for comment, a spokesperson for OpenAI directed Business Insider to the company's recent statements on sycophancy in GPT-4o and an early study of emotional well-being. OpenAI's research, conducted with users over the age of 18, found that emotional engagement with the chatbot is rare. However, heavy users were more likely to report an emotional connection to the bot, and those who had personal conversations with ChatGPT were more likely to report feelings of loneliness. An Anthropic spokesperson said the company has a dedicated research team, Societal Impacts, which isanalyzing Claude usage, how AI is being used across jobs, and studying what values AI models have. Representatives for Meta and Microsoft did not respond to requests for comment. Behavioral risks and rewards Nick Jacobson, an associate professor of psychiatry at Dartmouth's Center for Technology and Behavioral Health, conducted the first trial study delivering psychotherapy to clinical populations using generative AI. His research found that a carefully programmed chatbot can be a helpful therapeutic tool for people suffering from depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. Engagement among patients in the study rivaled that of in-person therapy, they saw a significant reduction in the severity of their symptoms, and, when measured using the same test as human providers, the patients in the study reported they bonded with their therapeutic chatbot with a similar intensity as a human therapist. "Folks were really developing this strong, working bond with their bot," Jacobson said, a factor which is key to a productive therapeutic relationship. However, most bots aren't programmed with the care and precision that Jacobson's was, so those emotional bonds could be developed with an AI that doesn't have the skills to handle their users' emotional needs in a productive way. "Nearly every foundational model will act in ways that are profoundly unsafe to mental health, in various ways, shapes, and forms, at rates that are totally unacceptable," Jacobson said. "But there are so many people that are using them for things like therapy and just plain companionship that it's becoming a real problem — I think folks should handle this with greater care than I think they are." Emma J. Smith, a relationship and sex therapist, said she believes in-person therapy comes with unique benefits that can't be replicated by AI, but she sometimes recommends using chatbots for anxious clients to practice social interactions in a low-stakes environment, "so if it goes badly, or you get stuck, there's no pressure." "But some of the drawbacks are, like anything really, if it becomes a mechanism to avoid human interaction, or if it is taking you away from going out and being in the world," Smith said. "Video games are probably fine for a lot of people, and then there are some people that it takes over, and then they're missing out on their non-virtual life because they're too involved. I can see that that would be a problem with these bots, but because this is so new, we know what we don't know." While the results of his trial were promising, Jacobson warned that the large language model used in his study was carefully trained for years by some of the most prominent scholars in the psychiatric field, unlike most "therapy" bots available online. "This has inherently got a lot more danger than a lot of folks are necessarily aware of," Jacobson said. "There's probably a great deal of good that can happen from this, but there's a great deal we don't know, like for example, when folks are turning to these things for companionship, does that actually enhance their ability to practice in social settings and build human bonds, or do folks actually further withdraw and replace what would be otherwise human relationships with these parasocial relationships with these chatbots?" Jacobson is particularly concerned about AI's impact on developmental processes among younger people who haven't grown up with old-school social norms and habits. While testifying before the Senate Commerce Committee in early May about child safety in the AI era, Altman said he would not want his son to have a best friend bond with an AI bot, adding that children require "a much higher level of protection" than adults using AI tools. "We spent years and years focusing predominantly on safety, so it's very concerning to me how many people are jumping into the AI space in new ways, and just shipping it," Jacobson said. "And in my mind, that's acting quite irresponsibly. You know, a lot of folks in Silicon Valley want to move fast and break things, but in this case, they're not breaking things — they're breaking people."
CNN
08-05-2025
- Entertainment
- CNN
Hate showing up empty-handed? Here are the 30 best host and hostess gifts
Host gifts quick picks A wine lover's best friend: Ozeri Nouveaux II Electric Wine Opener If they live out of a suitcase: Apple AirTag A big step up from Dial: Preston Lane Terrace View Hand Set If they make a mean homemade pesto: Click and Grow Smart Garden 3 Make them feel like they're at a five-star hotel: Aesop Resurrection Duet Etiquette around gifting isn't always straightforward. But when your friends, family or neighbors invite you over, there's a good chance you'll want to show up with a thoughtful and interesting gift for the host or hostess. 'A host/hostess gift should be geared to the person receiving it or the occasion being celebrated,' Carolyn Kraut, owner of Hands of Time Concierge, said. 'For example, my favorite gifts for foodies depend on whether they cook and entertain in their home or enjoy good food by eating out or ordering in.' To help you out, our experts and editors shared their top picks for host gifts. For even more gift inspiration, check out our favorite gift ideas for men, gift ideas for women, Amazon gifts and ultra-practical gifts. Chef'n Freshforce Citrus Juicer Juicing a lemon can be an unpleasant, painful mess, especially if you've got any nicks on your hands. Save the host the trouble by gifting them a juicer, which etiquette expert Elaine Swann said is one of her go-to kitchen gadgets for hosts. Ozeri Nouveaux II Electric Wine Opener A "stylish wine opener" is another exemplary gift, Swann said. Our testing team recommends this rechargeable model, which will uncork a vintage with the press of a our review Liberty London Maxine Playing Card Set Fancy playing cards are such a nice surprise, and this two-deck set from Liberty London comes in a storage box that's pretty enough to leave out. Miamolo Ceramic Spoon Holder Sometimes simple gifts are the best. When your host is cooking up a feast in the kitchen, make sure they have a place to rest their favorite culinary tools with this spoon holder, which will also help keep counters clean. Bedsure Fluffy Throw Blanket A cozy blanket is a great gift for hosts who are living in a new home or who simply like to stay in a lot. This one from Bedsure is a favorite of our newsletter editor Lindsey Smith, and it comes in a variety of colors to suit every our review 'Drinking Like Ladies: 75 Modern Cocktails From The World's Leading Female Bartenders' by Misty Kalkofen & Kirsten Amann If they're into cocktails and women's history, this coffee table book is one they'll keep referring back to. The pages contain recipes for 75 drinks, each accompanied by a biography of the female bartender behind it. Elle Decor Bedside Water Carafe With Tumbler Perfect for a nightstand or as a centerpiece for a living room table, this carafe set comes in two colors and will make sure your host is never parched around their home. Portland Syrups Spiced Cranberry Syrup The aspiring mixologist will appreciate receiving a bottle of this small-batch, all-natural syrup to add to their bar cart. The spiced cranberry flavor is perfect for adding some tartness to any drink, but you can also find flavors like passion fruit citrus and marionberry. 'Platters and Boards: Beautiful, Casual Spreads for Every Occasion' by Shelly Westerhausen & Wyatt Worcel With this cookbook, the host can really up their charcuterie board skills. They'll learn how to turn their meats and cheeses into a gorgeous spread that's almost too pretty to eat. Scuddles Garden Tools Set 'There is no shortage of ideas if the host/hostess has a hobby or a keen interest in a sport or two, and there are so many ideas for gardeners,' says Kraut. Perfect for a first-time homeowner or someone with a new interest in gardening, this little kit will set them up to tend their property. Geometry Kitchen Tea Towels, 2-Pack Etiquette instructor Kristi Spencer takes a different tack. "My favorite host gifts to give or receive are luxury versions of everyday items," she said. That includes kitchen staples like salt and olive oil, as well as home goods like tea towels. We like this set, which comes with sophisticated and fun designs printed on quick-drying microfiber. Apple AirTag For the traveler, etiquette consultant Lisa Mirza Grotts nominates Apple's AirTag, which can keep track of checked luggage from thousands of miles away. They might already have one, but this is the kind of gift you could always use more our review Monkey 47 Gin "If you know their cocktail or wine preference, a bottle of their favorite wine or drink is always a considerate gift," Spencer said. Instead of the same old bottle of wine, try this bottle of German gin made with 47 ingredients. Former health, fitness and food editor Tobey Grumet Segal said she uses it to liven up her G+ our review Brightland Alive If your host cooks at home a lot, a nice olive oil would make a great gift. We like Brightland's flavorful olive oils, and the bottle's are definitely display-worthy. The brand's vinegars are impressive our review Preston Lane Terrace View Hand Set "Lightly scented soaps and lotions are always appreciated as useful and thoughtful items," Spencer said. Associate writer Maxwell Shukuya likes this sophisticated set from Preston Lane, which is infused with fragrance notes like bergamot and our review Graf Lantz Bierfilzl Square Felt Coasters, 6-Pack These minimalist coasters from Graf Lantz are made of merino wool, a super absorbent material that also protects your host's tables from spills and scratches. They come in various color palettes as well as circle and square shapes. FarmSteady Fresh Cheese Making Kit A cheese-making kit is such a unique gift for the host who likes to experiment in the kitchen. FarmSteady has plenty of other types of cheese-making kits, as well as baking kits and fermentation kits. Ferrari Brut Rosé If you're celebrating something special, bring your host a bottle of sparkling wine — made of 60% pinot noir and 40% Chardonnay — instead of the usual Champagne for a toast. By Anthropologie Floral Bookshelf Game This board game has a unique floral design they've probably never seen before. Enjoy the delights of the classic game of Monopoly, then keep it stored in a beautiful fabric box that can be placed on your host's bookshelf. Saltverk Icelandic Salt Gift Box, 4-Pack Adventurous cooks will love this mix of unrefined, flavored Icelandic salts. The perfectly flaky salts are made with geothermal energy, leaving zero carbon footprint — and did we mention they taste amazing? Diptyque Feu de Bois/Wood Fire Candle Scented gifts like candles require some extra thought, but they aren't off the table. "Scents are tricky, but if you get one in a beautiful container it won't matter if the host/hostess doesn't care for the scent,' says Kraut, who highly recommends Diptyque's beloved candles (so do our editors!). Anthropologie Eden Pitcher If you know what kind of home decor they like, a pitcher — like this gorgeous one from Anthropologie — is a practical gift that will go a long way for the host. They can use it as a vase for fresh flowers or to hold batch cocktails. UrbanStems The Renewal For the host with a jungle-like apartment, an addition to their plant collection is a thoughtful gift idea. This vibrant pink anthurium caught our eye because it will add a pop of color to their space. Crate & Barrel Tondo Acacia Round Serving Board This classic and clean serving board will give your host a new vessel to display their most delicious party snacks and treats. This is also a great gift for the host who just moved, since they might need a new serving board. Click & Grow Smart Garden 3 While most folks like to show up with a bottle of wine, Swann said she prefers gifting potted herbs. Go one step further and offer this hydroponic garden, which will yield fresh herbs year-round. Burlap & Barrel 6-Pack Spice Gift Set Burlap & Barrel makes single-origin spices from 26 countries around the world, and our home and gifts editor Amina Lake Patel is seriously obsessed. This gift set comes with six of the brand's most popular spices — such as Black Lime and Purple Stripe Garlic — so they can add flavor to nearly any homemade meal. Apotheke Mini Candle & Reed Diffuser Gift Set Kraut says aromatherapy products are popular host gifts, too. This Cardamom Chestnut-scented set from Apotheke not only looks beautiful but will also fill your host's home with notes of roasted chestnuts, creamy vanilla and warm woods. This set is also available in a Black Cypress scent. Compartés World's Best Chocolate Assortment These are nothing like the boxed chocolates from the drugstore. This luxe assortment from Compartés is filled with over 2 pounds of the brand's handmade chocolates. You'll find everything from nuts to caramels to chocolate-covered fruit and more. Aesop Resurrection Duet It's definitely more of a splurge, but you'll be sure to impress your host with this high-end hand soap and cream set from Aesop. Patel thinks it's a great gift for any host, even if you don't know them that well. Tailgating Pros Cornhole Boards If you're attending a barbecue or know they have an outdoor space, a new cornhole set can be the perfect gift. It doubles as an activity that gets all the guests involved. The following FAQs have been answered by etiquette experts Lisa Mirza Grotts, Kristi Spencer and Elaine Swann. Do you always need to bring a gift for the host? Do you always need to bring a gift for the host? The answer is yes, according to Grotts. 'A small yet meaningful gift not only shows your graciousness,' she said, 'but also acknowledges their effort in hosting.' However, Spencer said the 'formality can give way' once you're more familiar and have returned the favor by hosting them. How much should you spend on a gift for a host? How much should you spend on a gift for a host? While the exact range varied between the experts we interviewed, they all agreed the gift doesn't have to be expensive. 'The key is to focus on small luxuries,' Grotts said. 'In other words, items that feel special yet remain budget-friendly.' Want a more concrete number? The experts we spoke to offered ranges from $0 to $100, though they all agreed the sweet spot is toward the lower end. What host gifts should you skip? What host gifts should you skip? Our etiquette experts mentioned three common pitfalls. First, don't pick a gift just because you like it, Swann said. Instead, think about what would bring the host joy. Another common mistake is to opt for home decor when you don't know or understand the host's style, Grotts said. (Save that for the people you know well!) Finally, if you bring wine, don't expect the host to open it that night, Spencer said, as they may already have a wine pairing in mind. To alleviate some pressure, tell them they can enjoy the wine later. For this article, we consulted the following experts to gain their professional insights on shopping for a host gift. Lisa Mirza Grotts, etiquette consultant and author of 'A Traveler's Passport to Etiquette in a Post-Pandemic World' Carolyn Kraut, owner of Hands of Time Concierge Kristi Spencer, etiquette instructor and founder of The Polite Company Elaine Swann, etiquette expert, founder of The Swann School of Protocol and author of 'Let Crazy Be Crazy' We know you get tired of seeing the same gift ideas year after year, which is why CNN Underscored editors carefully curate each gift guide to include a selection of products tailored to the person, hobby or event you're shopping for (though, if you're seeing some repeat products in our coverage, it probably just means we really love them). To make sure each gift you give is a hit, we include products hand-tested by our team, foolproof presents we've given to someone (or have been given), the newest products from our favorite brands and other trending items taking over our social feeds. For this guide, associate editor Jillian Tracy, associate writer Maxwell Shukuya and home and gifts editor Amina Lake Patel found thoughtful presents for the host by speaking to experts and using our team's gifting expertise.
