a day ago
Women who bully other women at work are not leaders — they are part of the problem
Each August, South Africa celebrates Women's Month with bold declarations of empowerment, sisterhood and resilience. Panels are held, hashtags trend and public institutions echo messages about smashing patriarchy.
But behind the slogans and the solidarity lies an uncomfortable truth that rarely makes it into the national conversation: women hurting women in the workplace. The silence around it is deafening.
Female bullying is an epidemic, often simmering just beneath the surface of our organisations, with females targeting other females, as highlighted by research on perceptions and experiences of bullying in the workplace.
It doesn't always look like overt aggression. It takes the shape of passive-aggressive emails, subtle sabotage or public humiliation disguised as feedback. It often comes from women in positions of power.
It's not about raised voices or slammed doors, it manifests through withholding recognition, delegating without accountability and using empowerment rhetoric to justify exploitation. It disguises overwork as 'stretch opportunities' and calls it growth.
It's wrapped in progressive language. You're not being exploited, you're being mentored. You're not being overworked, you're being prepared for leadership. You're not being underpaid, you're being trusted.
The gaslighting is strategic and often delivered with a smile. And when one speaks up, they are labelled as 'not a team player', 'too emotional', or 'not ready'.
The same tropes historically used by patriarchy to silence women are now being recycled by women in positions of power to police subordinates, reinforcing rather than dismantling the very glass ceiling they once sought to break.
The type of bullying used by women tends to be qualitatively different from the peer harassment commonly used by males. Alison Poor's study about workplace female bullying has suggested that women can be just as aggressive as men; however, women demonstrate their need for superiority, control and power differently through a set of behaviours known as relational aggression (behaviours aimed at harming someone's social standing or reputation).
Power, pain and performance
The popular narrative often places men as the sole perpetrators of workplace toxicity. And yes, patriarchal systems remain deeply entrenched in corporate and institutional culture.
But power doesn't only corrupt men. When women finally break through glass ceilings, they often find themselves navigating complex environments shaped by scarcity of positions, resources or recognition.
In these spaces, some begin to view other women not as allies, but as competition.
There is a strong correlation between female workers' experiences of bullying and the onset of major depression. This phenomenon manifests as what Elif Baykal et al called the Queen Bee Syndrome where women in senior positions distance themselves from other women, perpetuating exclusion and gatekeeping to protect their hard-earned status.
Recent research conducted by myself and Hlalele Matebese regarding organisational psychological bullying among vulnerable groups reveals that bullying thrives in environments where structural inequality, institutional silence and poor accountability are the norm. These same conditions also make it easier for female bullying to flourish.
When the only acceptable way to survive is to become 'tougher than the rest', some women end up reproducing the very systems they once fought against. Empowerment becomes performance, dressing the part, speaking the part, but failing to challenge the culture itself.
Honouring our heroines
South Africa's history is filled with formidable women leaders who broke barriers and inspired generations. Women like Helen Joseph, Lilian Ngoyi, Frances Baard, Albertina Sisulu and Winnie Madikizela-Mandela stood as pillars of resilience, fighting apartheid and systemic oppression that sought to silence women's voices.
Their legacy reminds us of the transformative power women wield when united in purpose.
Yet today, the reality in many workplaces is far more troubling. Female leaders who engage in bullying and exclusion are not just perpetuating old patriarchal norms; they are actively harming the very women they should be empowering.
Empathy is discarded in favour of performative toughness, and power is wielded not to enable collective progress, but to exclude, control and protect personal status.
This is not a minor issue or a hidden problem, it's a serious abuse of power that damages careers, livelihoods, gender equity and organisational health. In place of ethical leadership and professional integrity, what emerges is complicity in the preservation of hierarchical and exclusionary structures.
We can't empower without accountability
Empowerment without self-reflection is shallow. We cannot build supportive environments for women if we don't address the harm women sometimes cause each other.
This doesn't mean shifting blame away from men or denying the impact of patriarchal systems. Rather, it means recognising that patriarchy can be internalised and its logic reproduced, even by those it was designed to oppress, a concept explored by Maria Evteeva et al in Internalized Misogyny: The Patriarchy Inside Our Heads (2024).
Calling this out is not about division; it's about healing. It's about creating workplaces where women don't just climb the ladder, but hold it steady for the next person. Where leadership isn't earned by intimidation, but by inclusion. Where power is not hoarded but shared.
The path forward
If Women's Month is to be more than symbolic, we must confront the hard stuff. That includes taking a clear-eyed look at how workplace cultures, even in female-dominated spaces, can become toxic.
It means developing anti-bullying policies that address lateral aggression as seriously as top-down abuse. It means training HR teams to spot gendered microaggressions and creating safe, credible reporting systems.
Most importantly, it requires dismantling a culture that glorifies toughness as a measure of success – because toughness too often masks cruelty – and replacing it with one grounded in trust, respect and genuine support.
This Women's Month, the time for performative gestures and empty slogans is over. It's time to stop pretending that toxic behaviours from women who wield power like a weapon are anything but damaging.
When 'building each other up' is just a cover for reinforcing fractured, oppressive systems, we are failing ourselves. Women who bully others in the workplace are not leaders; they are part of the problem.
