Latest news with #EmmaThompson
Yahoo
19 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Fall TV Calendar: 120+ Dates to Save!
The Fall TV season is right around the corner! (Where did the summer go?) To help you keep tabs on it all, TVLine presents its annual and super-handy listing of September, October and November premiere dates. (Our world-famous printable calendar is coming soon! I ran out of glitter and thumb tacks mid-build.) More from TVLine Emma Thompson Searches for a Missing Child in Apple TV+'s Down Cemetery Road - Get Premiere Date NBC Reveals Fall Premiere Dates for #OneChicago, SVU and More - Plus, Organized Crime Returns! Fox Reveals Complete List of Fall Premiere Dates: Murder in a Small Town, Weakest Link and More! This year's Fall TV slate offers a plethora of returning and new broadcast, streaming and cable series — including tried-and-true procedurals, knee-slapping sitcoms, prestige dramas, far-out fare and a curated smattering of reality-TV offerings. On the bittersweet side of things, this autumn will launch the farewell runs for at least three series, including Stranger Things and The Neighborhood. Review the premieres dates below (the printable calendar that you know, love and mark up with highlighter is coming soon), and tell us which upcoming shows you are most excited for. New series are listed in ALL CAPS; click title for details. Time zones are Eastern, need you ask. Want SCOOP on any fall show? Email InsideLine@ and your question may be answered via Matt's Inside Line! WEEK OF AUGUST 31 SUNDAY, AUG. 319 pm LET THE DEVIL IN (MGM+, docuseries) WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 3Wednesday Season 2, Part 2 (Netflix)10 pm Beavis and Butt-Head (Comedy Central revival) THURSDAY, SEPT. 4NCIS: TONY & ZIVA (Paramount+)THE PAPER (Peacock)7 pm Football Night in America (NBC)8:20 pm NFL Kickoff '25 (NBC, Cowboys-Eagles) WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 7 SUNDAY, SEPT. 77 pm Football Night in America (NBC)8:20 pm Sunday Night Football (NBC)9 pm The Walking Dead: Daryl Dixon Season 3 (AMC) MONDAY, SEPT. 88 pm Monday Night Football (ABC/ESPN, Vikings-Bears) TUESDAY, SEPT. 9GUTS & GLORY (Shudder/AMC+)Only Murders in the Building Season 5 (Hulu) WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 10THE GIRLFRIEND (Prime Video)Helluva Boss Seasons 1 and 2 (Prime Videe, previously on YouTube)TEMPEST (Hulu) THURSDAY, SEPT. 11Tyler Perry's Beauty in Black Season 2 (Netflix) WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 14 SUNDAY, SEPT. 148 pm Emmy Awards (CBS) MONDAY, SEPT. 158 pm Celebrity Name That Tune Season 5 (Fox)8 pm Futurama Season 13 (Hulu, all 10 episodes)9 pm CELEBRITY WEAKEST LINK (Fox) TUESDAY, SEPT. 168 pm Dancing With the Stars Season 34 (ABC)10 pm High Potential Season 2 (ABC) WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 17Gen V Season 2 (Prime Video)The Morning Show Season 4 (Apple TV+) THURSDAY, SEPT. 18BLACK RABBIT (Netflix)Reasonable Doubt Season 3 (Hulu) WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 21 SUNDAY, SEPT. 218 pm A Grammy Salute to Earth, Wind & Fire Live: The 21st Night of September (CBS) MONDAY, SEPT. 228 pm The Voice Season 28 (NBC)10 pm Brilliant Minds Season 2 (NBC) TUESDAY, SEPT. 238 pm Murder in a Small Town Season 2 (Fox)8 pm The Voice (Tuesday edition, NBC)9 pm Doc Season 2 (Fox)9 pm THE LOWDOWN (FX) WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 24HOTEL COSTIERA (Prime Video)Slow Horses Season 5 (Apple TV+)8 pm The Golden Bachelor Season 2 (ABC, two hours)8 pm Survivor Season 49 (CBS, two hours)8 pm The Floor Season 4 (Fox)8 pm Law & Order Toronto: Criminal Intent (The CW, Stateside premiere)9 pm 99 TO BEAT (Fox)10 pm Shark Tank Season 17 (ABC) THURSDAY, SEPT. 25Alice in Borderland Season 3 (Netflix)8 pm Hell's Kitchen Season 24 (Fox)8 pm Law & Order Season 25 (NBC)9 pm The Amazing Race Season 38 (CBS, 90 minutes)9 pm Law & Order: SVU Season 27 (NBC)9 pm Special Forces: World's Toughest Test Season 4 (Fox)10 pm Law & Order: Organized Crime Season 5 (NBC) FRIDAY, SEPT. 26All of You (Apple TV+ movie)THE SAVANT (Apple TV+)8 pm Celebrity Wheel of Fortune Season 6 (ABC)9 pm 20/20 Season 48 (ABC)9 pm Dateline NBC Season 35 (NBC, duh) SATURDAY, SEPT. 2710 pm 48 Hours Season 38 (NBC) WEEK OF SEPTEMBER 28 SUNDAY, SEPT. 287 pm America's Funniest Home Videos Season 36 (ABC)7:30 pm 60 Minutes Season 58 (CNS)8 pm The Wonderful World of Disney (ABC, Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3)8 pm The Simpsons Season 37 (Fox)8:30 pm Big Brother Season 27 finale (CBS, two hours)8:30 pm Universal Basic Guys Season 2 (Fox)9 pm Krapopolis Season 3 (Fox)9:30 pm Bob's Burgers Season 16 (Fox) TUESDAY, SEPT. 30CHAD POWERS (Hulu)10 pm ON BRAND WITH JIMMY FALLON (NBC) WEDNESDAY, OCT. 1Love Is Blind Season 9 (Netflix)8 pm Chicago Med Season 11 (NBC)8 pm Shifting Gears Season 2 (ABC)8:30 pm Abbott Elementary Season 5 (ABC)9 pm Chicago Fire Season 14 (NBC)9 pm The Golden Bachelor (ABC, regular time slot premiere)9:30 pm The Amazing Race (CBS, regular time slot premiere)10 pm Chicago P.D. Season 13 (NBC) FRIDAY, OCT. 3The Lost Bus (Apple TV+ movie premiere)MARVEL ZOMBIES (Disney+, What If…? spinoff)8 pm ON BRAND WITH JIMMY FALLON (Friday edition, NBC) SATURDAY, OCT. 411:30 pm Saturday Night Live Season 51 (NBC) WEEK OF OCTOBER 5 THURSDAY, OCT. 98 pm 9-1-1 Season 99 pm 9-1-1: NASHVILLE10 pm Grey's Anatomy Season 22 FRIDAY, OCT. 10THE LAST FRONTIER (Apple TV+) WEEK OF OCTOBER 12 SUNDAY, OCT. 127:30 pm 60 Minutes (CBS)8:30 pm Matlock Season 2 (CBS, special night)9:30 pm Elsbeth Season 3 (CBS, special night) MONDAY, OCT. 13Solar Opposites final season (Hulu)8 pm The Neighborhood final season (CBS)8:30 pm DMV (CBS)9 pm FBI Season 8 (CBS)10 pm Watson Season 2 (CBS) TUESDAY, OCT. 148 pm NCIS Season 23 (CBS)9 pm NCIS: Origins Season 2 (CBS)10 pm NCIS: Sydney Season 3 (CBS) WEDNESDAY, OCT. 15Loot Season 3 (Apple TV+)From Rails to Trails (PBS documentary; check local listings) THURSDAY, OCT. 16DEVIL IN DISGUISE: JOHN WAYNE GACY (Peacock)8 pm Georgie & Mandy's First Marriage Season 2 (CBS)8:30 pm Ghosts Season 5 (CBS)9 pm Matlock (CBS, regular time slot premiere)10 pm Elsbeth (CBS, regular time slot premiere) FRIDAY, OCT. 178 pm Fire Country Season 4 (CBS, special time)9 pm SHERIFF COUNTRY (CBS, special time)10 pm BOSTON BLUE (CBS) WEEK OF OCTOBER 19 SUNDAY, OCT. 198 pm Tracker Season 3 (CBS)9 pm THE ROAD (CBS) TUESDAY, OCT. 216:30 pm NBA Pre-Game Show (NBC)7:30 pm NBA on NBC (NBC, duh) FRIDAY, OCT. 24Stiller & Meara: Nothing Is Lost (Apple TV+ documentary)8 pm SHERIFF COUNTRY (CBS, regular time slot premiere)9 pm Fire Country (CBS, regular time slot premiere) WEEK OF OCTOBER 26 THROUGH NOVEMBER WEDNESDAY, OCT. 29DOWN CEMETERY ROAD (Apple TV+)Hazbin Hotel Season 2 (Prime Video)Selling Sunset Season 9 (Netflix) MONDAY, NOV. 38 pm St. Denis Medical Season 28:30 pm St. Denis Medical TUESDAY, NOV. 4Squid Game: The Challenge Season 2 (Netflix) FRIDAY, NOV. 7Maxton Hall: The World Between Us Season 2 (Prime Video)PLURIBUS (Apple TV+)8 pm Happy's Place Season 28:30 pm Happy's Place WEDNESDAY, NOV. 12Selling the OC Season 4 (Netflix) WEDNESDAY, NOV. 19THE MIGHTY NEIN (Prime Video, Legend of Vox Machina spinoff) WEDNESDAY, NOV. 26Prehistoric Planet: Ice Age (Apple TV+ docuseries)Stranger Things Season 5, Part 1 (Netflix, final season) HELD FOR MIDSEASON ABC | American Idol, The Bachelor, Celebrity Jeopardy!, The Rookie, Scrubs, Will Trent CBS | AMERICA'S CULINARY CUP, CIA, HARLAN COBEN'S FINAL TWIST, Hollywood Squares, Y: MARSHALS, The Price Is Right at Night FOX | American Dad!, Animal Control, Beat Shazam, BEST MEDICINE, Don't Forget the Lyrics!, Extracted, THE FAITHFUL, Family Guy, FEAR FACTOR: THE NEXT CHAPTER, Going Dutch, Grimsburg, Kitchen Nightmares, The Masked Singer, MEMORY OF A KILLER, NEXT LEVEL BAKER (4-episode holiday spinoff), Next Level Chef NBC | THE FALL AND RISE OF REGGIE DINKINS, The Hunting Party, STUMBLE, SURVIVING EARTH (eight-episode event series), The Wall THE CW | TBA PREVIOUSLY CANCELLED 9-1-1: Lone Star, Alert: Missing Persons Unit, The Cleaning Lady, The Conners, Doctor Odyssey, The Equalizer, FBI: International, FBI: Most Wanted, Found, Grosse Pointe Garden Society, The Irrational, Lopez vs. Lopez, Night Court, Poppa's House, Rescue: HI-Surf, Suits LA, The Summit, S.W.A.T. FATES TO BE DETERMINED Accused (Fox), Farmer Wants a Wife (Fox), The Great North (Fox), assorted CW things THE PRINTABLE CALENDAR YOU LOVE IS COMING SOON! Want SCOOP on any fall show? Email InsideLine@ and your question may be answered via Matt's Inside Line! Best of TVLine 90+ TV Shows That Switched Networks — And How Long They Ran After They Relocated TV's 30+ Best Cliffhangers of All Time From Buffy, Friends, Grey's Anatomy, Twin Peaks, Severance, Soap and More 20+ Age-Defying Parent-Child Castings From Blue Bloods, ER, Ginny & Georgia, Golden Girls, Supernatural and More
Yahoo
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
I'm A Middle-Aged Woman. This Is What Happened When I Got A Happy Ending Massage.
Way back near the beginning of pandemic, I had a real-life Good Luck to You, Leo Grande experience. If you're not familiar with the movie (now streaming on Hulu), a retired widow (Emma Thompson) hires a fine-ass sex worker (Daryl McCormack) to find some sexual adventure. (Spoiler: Adventure is found.) In my case, there was no green-eyed Leo Grande. However, I did have two (2!) people working over my middle-aged body. Also, they weren't official 'sex workers,' though it did involve both sex and work. I was getting a 'hands-on bodywork session,' basically a massage with a (possibly) happy ending. Oh, it was all on the up and up. It was through an organization, let's call it Yonis R Us (YRU), that hosts retreats in glamorous locales where women of all ages (seriously, ALL, like up to extremely senior citizen) learn to connect with their bodies, their sexuality and their desires. And yeah, a happy ending might be had, but the bodywork sessions were about more than that. It was about allowing yourself to accept pleasure and feel sexual without any of the body image/performative/goal-oriented pressures of a lot of hetero sex. Getting rid of that last bit was going to be a trick for me. I enjoy spending my leisure time worrying about things like that new spot on my leg (fatal????), people who don't text back immediately (dead???) and the like. My monkey mind doesn't just chatter away during my rare attempts at meditation ― mine is more howler monkey, always on duty, hyper-vigilant and screeching from the treetops, alerting me to a constant stream of imaginary peril. To be honest, I was secretly looking for a Magic Vagina Whisperer, someone who would force me to chill the F out, know what I wanted even before I knew it, and could play my body like a piano, or whatever musical instrument is the equivalent of my body (Bagpipes? Theremin?). When Nanette*, the founder of Yonis, messaged me one day and offered me a private session that night, gratis, I was immediately like, 'Yes, please!' It was to date, the best media perk I've gotten, and I am a person who recently received a huge box of weed products hand-delivered to my door. Related: Related: About four seconds later, I panicked. The letting-strangers-touch-alllllll-the-naughty-bits wasn't the issue. I've interviewed several sex workers and came away convinced that sex work is an important helping position. Providing loving sexual touch to people who aren't getting it, for whatever reason, is a gift. I had no moral quandaries. Viva getting touched by a kindly, trained stranger/specialist! But on that particular day, I was not feeling super fuckable. I already had a full-on pandemic body going on, even though we were just barely into it. Underneath my Bao-like belly, I was sporting a bush with the aesthetics of an abandoned parking lot. As Emma Thompson told Vogue about the extremely last-minute preparations for her role in Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, 'I couldn't go off to a health spa in anticipation of forthcoming nudity.' Nor could I, Emma. I couldn't lose the belly in one day, and in a flash of liberation, I decided I would leave the bush in 'as is' condition. I was gonna own this 'forthcoming nudity,' goddammit. The idea was strangely empowering. 'Screw it!' I thought. 'This is my body. Behold!' That night I pulled up to a charming little house tucked down a shady lane somewhere by San Diego. I was greeted at the door by Nanette, who is short, curvy and warm, like a sexy fairy godmother. She introduced her associate, Rod Steele,* who is blonde, muscled and pretty much an ideal specimen of manhood, as well as being a lovely, gentle person. There was a spacious living room and a large wooden dining table laden with snacks. I picked at the spread while we had easy talk about…something? Finally, they asked me to go into the bedroom, disrobe, and get up on a table similar to a massage table. I draped a sheet over myself and waited. When they came in, they spoke to me gently and started giving me a massage. If you find yourself in a situation where two people want to give you a massage, I'd recommend you take them up on it at once. It was pretty great. I closed my eyes as they introduced elements of sensation play, always asking permission first. There were scarves draped up my thighs, a little wheel toy with pokey things ― the idea was to stay in the moment and really focus on the sensations. Somebody eventually started touching me where the bathing suit covers. There were some consensual flicks of a flogger and the introduction of a butt plug. It's odd that I can't remember the specifics of who was touching where, otherwise I could give you a play-by-play, like 'Bishop to e5.' What does stand out is that it was dawning on me that I wasn't even close to having an orgasm, and I (ridiculously, I know this!) felt like I should ― like it would be polite to do so. And it felt absurd that it wasn't happening. I was being stroked and lavishly feted by two gorgeous, sexy, and attentive people. But I was lying there wondering if their hands were getting sore, and they regretted doing this for free. So there I was: naked, the stimulation increasingly amping up, and still not having an orgasm. Eventually (two minutes? 700 years?) they brought out the big guns, the hallowed Magic Wand. If you're not familiar, the Wand is a giant vibrator that's pretty much a jackhammer for the lady parts. If there ever was a vibrator that could easily be converted to gas power (rip cord and all), it would be the Wand. They applied the Wand, but my body would not succumb to it. I felt my monkey mind cockblocking the insistent ministrations of my electric lover. 'Shit, it's still not happening!' I thought, which for the record, is pretty low on the list of arousing thoughts. Then it dawned on me. I thought about my best sex ever and how raw chemistry goes a hell of a long way towards arousal. Yes, the simple biological manipulation of body parts is a huge part of sex, but it's just one part of a complex mix of lust chemicals, scents, the almost divine touch of someone who really does it for you and the particular appeal of a partner's jawline/chest/thigh/thick dick/whatever. In this case, all manner of diligent rubbing wasn't gonna be enough. It's the same reason a glory hole wouldn't appeal to me. I'd need some backstory. Here, I couldn't just lie down on the massage table thing, spread my legs, and get lost in it. In discussing the 'problems' of sex in How to Think More About Sex, the delightful School of Life co-founder Alain de Botton writes, 'Great sex, like happiness more generally, may be the precious and sublime exception. During our most fortunate encounters, it is rare for us to appreciate how privileged we are. It is only as we get older, and look back repeatedly and nostalgically to a few erotic episodes, that we start to realize with what stinginess nature extends her gifts to us — and therefore what an extraordinary and rare achievement of biology, psychology and timing satisfying sex really is.' But I digress. Through all this, the Wand was determinedly buzzing away, perhaps puzzled, not understanding why I was resisting its charms. I didn't know what to do, so finally I mentally pulled up the images of my favorite porn. If you must know it's the one with two college guys who, against their supposed straightness, get too turned on and simply must bone each other immediately. Eventually, less being swept away by inevitability and more 'I will make this happen,' ala Annette Bening, 'I will sell this house today!' in American Beauty, I had the orgasm. Check. Not huge, but there. Hey, way to ruin goalless pleasure with a goal, self! Once the 'sex' part was done, we moved back out to the living room. I sat on a couch, and Nanette and Rod settled in on each side. They snuggled in close and handed me an exceptionally good popsicle. We talked about what had gone down and how it was for me. Rod suggested I give the plug another try sometime. I had another popsicle (this is unrelated). It was A+ aftercare. In the end, I still completely support this kind of work. If you can lie back and enjoy being attended to by two eager pretend lovers, get yer butt on up on that table. (Statistically, it's likely that you'd dig it: Multipartner sex is the most common fantasy, according to Justin Lehmiller's Tell Me What You Want.) For me and my howler monkey mind though, the most thorough fuck of the night was the mind fuck I gave myself. It wasn't ideal, but lessons were learned. Sex with another person who hotly desires you as much as you desire them is a rare and beautiful thing. This was not it. But it didn't need to be that. It occupied a different space. In this space, you can be sexual without worrying about pleasing another (or, like me, you can worry about it anyway) and that feels important. You can go to this place, go really deep sexually and emotionally with two other people, then be on your merry way, with no emotional reverb. And you might even get some popsicles out of the deal. *Names had been changed. Except mine, which was probably a bad decision. This article originally appeared on HuffPost in July 2022. Also in Goodful: Also in Goodful: Also in Goodful: Solve the daily Crossword
Buzz Feed
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- Buzz Feed
My Experience With Happy Ending Massages At 50+
Way back near the beginning of pandemic, I had a real-life Good Luck to You, Leo Grande experience. If you're not familiar with the movie (now streaming on Hulu), a retired widow (Emma Thompson) hires a fine-ass sex worker (Daryl McCormack) to find some sexual adventure. (Spoiler: Adventure is found.) In my case, there was no green-eyed Leo Grande. However, I did have two (2!) people working over my middle-aged body. Also, they weren't official 'sex workers,' though it did involve both sex and work. I was getting a 'hands-on bodywork session,' basically a massage with a (possibly) happy ending. Oh, it was all on the up and up. It was through an organization, let's call it Yonis R Us (YRU), that hosts retreats in glamorous locales where women of all ages (seriously, ALL, like up to extremely senior citizen) learn to connect with their bodies, their sexuality and their desires. And yeah, a happy ending might be had, but the bodywork sessions were about more than that. It was about allowing yourself to accept pleasure and feel sexual without any of the body image/performative/goal-oriented pressures of a lot of hetero sex. Getting rid of that last bit was going to be a trick for me. I enjoy spending my leisure time worrying about things like that new spot on my leg (fatal????), people who don't text back immediately (dead???) and the like. My monkey mind doesn't just chatter away during my rare attempts at meditation ― mine is more howler monkey, always on duty, hyper-vigilant and screeching from the treetops, alerting me to a constant stream of imaginary peril. To be honest, I was secretly looking for a Magic Vagina Whisperer, someone who would force me to chill the F out, know what I wanted even before I knew it, and could play my body like a piano, or whatever musical instrument is the equivalent of my body (Bagpipes? Theremin?). When Nanette*, the founder of Yonis, messaged me one day and offered me a private session that night, gratis, I was immediately like, 'Yes, please!' It was to date, the best media perk I've gotten, and I am a person who recently received a huge box of weed products hand-delivered to my door. About four seconds later, I panicked. The letting-strangers-touch-alllllll-the-naughty-bits wasn't the issue. I've interviewed several sex workers and came away convinced that sex work is an important helping position. Providing loving sexual touch to people who aren't getting it, for whatever reason, is a gift. I had no moral quandaries. Viva getting touched by a kindly, trained stranger/specialist! But on that particular day, I was not feeling super fuckable. I already had a full-on pandemic body going on, even though we were just barely into it. Underneath my Bao -like belly, I was sporting a bush with the aesthetics of an abandoned parking lot. As Emma Thompson told Vogue about the extremely last-minute preparations for her role in Good Luck to You, Leo Grande, 'I couldn't go off to a health spa in anticipation of forthcoming nudity.' Nor could I, Emma. I couldn't lose the belly in one day, and in a flash of liberation, I decided I would leave the bush in 'as is' condition. I was gonna own this 'forthcoming nudity,' goddammit. The idea was strangely empowering. 'Screw it!' I thought. 'This is my body. Behold!' That night I pulled up to a charming little house tucked down a shady lane somewhere by San Diego. I was greeted at the door by Nanette, who is short, curvy and warm, like a sexy fairy godmother. She introduced her associate, Rod Steele,* who is blonde, muscled and pretty much an ideal specimen of manhood, as well as being a lovely, gentle person. There was a spacious living room and a large wooden dining table laden with snacks. I picked at the spread while we had easy talk about…something? Finally, they asked me to go into the bedroom, disrobe, and get up on a table similar to a massage table. I draped a sheet over myself and waited. When they came in, they spoke to me gently and started giving me a massage. If you find yourself in a situation where two people want to give you a massage, I'd recommend you take them up on it at once. It was pretty great. I closed my eyes as they introduced elements of sensation play, always asking permission first. There were scarves draped up my thighs, a little wheel toy with pokey things ― the idea was to stay in the moment and really focus on the sensations. Somebody eventually started touching me where the bathing suit covers. There were some consensual flicks of a flogger and the introduction of a butt plug. It's odd that I can't remember the specifics of who was touching where, otherwise I could give you a play-by-play, like 'Bishop to e5.' What does stand out is that it was dawning on me that I wasn't even close to having an orgasm, and I (ridiculously, I know this!) felt like I should ― like it would be polite to do so. And it felt absurd that it wasn't happening. I was being stroked and lavishly feted by two gorgeous, sexy, and attentive people. But I was lying there wondering if their hands were getting sore, and they regretted doing this for free. So there I was: naked, the stimulation increasingly amping up, and still not having an orgasm. Eventually (two minutes? 700 years?) they brought out the big guns, the hallowed Magic Wand. If you're not familiar, the Wand is a giant vibrator that's pretty much a jackhammer for the lady parts. If there ever was a vibrator that could easily be converted to gas power (rip cord and all), it would be the Wand. They applied the Wand, but my body would not succumb to it. I felt my monkey mind cockblocking the insistent ministrations of my electric lover. 'Shit, it's still not happening!' I thought, which for the record, is pretty low on the list of arousing thoughts. Then it dawned on me. I thought about my best sex ever and how raw chemistry goes a hell of a long way towards arousal. Yes, the simple biological manipulation of body parts is a huge part of sex, but it's just one part of a complex mix of lust chemicals, scents, the almost divine touch of someone who really does it for you and the particular appeal of a partner's jawline/chest/thigh/thick dick/whatever. In this case, all manner of diligent rubbing wasn't gonna be enough. It's the same reason a glory hole wouldn't appeal to me. I'd need some backstory. Here, I couldn't just lie down on the massage table thing, spread my legs, and get lost in it. In discussing the 'problems' of sex in How to Think More About Sex, the delightful School of Life co-founder Alain de Botton writes, 'Great sex, like happiness more generally, may be the precious and sublime exception. During our most fortunate encounters, it is rare for us to appreciate how privileged we are. It is only as we get older, and look back repeatedly and nostalgically to a few erotic episodes, that we start to realize with what stinginess nature extends her gifts to us — and therefore what an extraordinary and rare achievement of biology, psychology and timing satisfying sex really is.' But I digress. Through all this, the Wand was determinedly buzzing away, perhaps puzzled, not understanding why I was resisting its charms. I didn't know what to do, so finally I mentally pulled up the images of my favorite porn. If you must know it's the one with two college guys who, against their supposed straightness, get too turned on and simply must bone each other immediately. Eventually, less being swept away by inevitability and more 'I will make this happen,' ala Annette Bening, 'I will sell this house today!' in American Beauty, I had the orgasm. Check. Not huge, but there. Hey, way to ruin goalless pleasure with a goal, self! Once the 'sex' part was done, we moved back out to the living room. I sat on a couch, and Nanette and Rod settled in on each side. They snuggled in close and handed me an exceptionally good popsicle. We talked about what had gone down and how it was for me. Rod suggested I give the plug another try sometime. I had another popsicle (this is unrelated). It was A+ aftercare. In the end, I still completely support this kind of work. If you can lie back and enjoy being attended to by two eager pretend lovers, get yer butt on up on that table. (Statistically, it's likely that you'd dig it: Multipartner sex is the most common fantasy, according to Justin Lehmiller's Tell Me What You Want.) For me and my howler monkey mind though, the most thorough fuck of the night was the mind fuck I gave myself. It wasn't ideal, but lessons were learned. Sex with another person who hotly desires you as much as you desire them is a rare and beautiful thing. This was not it. But it didn't need to be that. It occupied a different space. In this space, you can be sexual without worrying about pleasing another (or, like me, you can worry about it anyway) and that feels important. You can go to this place, go really deep sexually and emotionally with two other people, then be on your merry way, with no emotional reverb. And you might even get some popsicles out of the deal.
Times
19-07-2025
- Business
- Times
I turned my mum's old flapjack recipe into a £3m business
Becoming a first-time foodie entrepreneur in their fifties would be daunting for some, but not so for Carol Myott, who launched her bakery business, Flapjackery, at the age of 55 after noticing a gap in the market. It was a brave yet savvy move. The company, which sells treats made according to a 1960s recipe from Myott's mother, had sales of £3.1 million last year with profits of £320,000. Celebrity customers include the actress Dame Emma Thompson, who bought 100 flapjacks for a film crew shooting near Flapjackery's Falmouth store in Cornwall, and TV presenter Dermot O'Leary, who visits the Wells shop in Somerset 'every year after Glastonbury to stock up'. Traditional British comfort foods are making a comeback in these uncertain times, with sales of 1990s retro crisps surging and pease pudding back on restaurant menus. Flapjackery is among those winning through delivering a taste of nostalgia. Myott, now 65, and her friend Sally Jenkin, 62, launched the business in the west Devon market town of Tavistock in 2015, and have grown from five to 15 stores since 2022. Myott expects revenues of £3.8 million this year, fuelled by new openings and online sales of the firm's gluten-free flapjack recipes made from simple ingredients: butter, Tate & Lyle golden syrup, and Mornflake oats. • 'There's a critical risk the southwest will face neglect' 'It's about going back to your childhood, isn't it? And what your parents used to give you and that home comfort feel,' Myott said. 'My recipe came from my mum — I've still got the recipe book. 'All these flapjacks you get in shops are always cheap and horrible and full of nasties, and I thought a flapjack should be made as it always used to be: from real ingredients that you can pimp up with all sorts of different flavours and additions.' Myott grew up in her family's restaurant in Nantwich, Cheshire, and hoped to go into the business. But with her parents selling up to fund their retirement, she headed to London to work in marketing, and later wound up running a printing company in Surrey providing clients with letterheads and leaflets. At the age of 50, she decided to call it quits, move to Devon with her beagles and open a B&B. 'I hated printing — it was a horrible business,' she said. 'I hit 50 and thought, 'I don't like what I'm doing — I need to change things.' ' The idea for Flapjackery came about by chance. Myott is a foodie and wanted to meet people, so she decided to start baking from home for the local country market, where she met Jenkin. 'I found that flapjacks were quite popular,' Myott recalled. 'I also used to trawl around all the food festivals and thought, 'Why is nobody doing flapjacks?' ' She suggested launching a standalone market stall and Jenkin agreed. 'When I first mentioned the idea to people, they thought we were mad,' Myott said. The pair started out selling at markets, but sales really kicked off after they noticed that flapjacks were a hit at large events and trade shows. 'The very first event we went to, we sold out and realised that we'd probably hit on something that was going to work. 'Being naive, I then booked the Good Food Show, the Royal Bath and West Show and the Devon County Show, all within the first four months … We turned up with our old Volvo, our paste tables and sheets for tablecloths … We sold out of everything we'd taken on the first day, so had to go back and cook all night.' The founders also launched a website and became aware they had 'a gifting product' that people would order online for birthdays and other special occasions. Myott said: 'Sally and I used to sit down and brainstorm. We'd think up ideas — silly things like, 'Why don't we put a Bakewell or a brownie topping on top of a flapjack?' ' • Dark chocolate, cranberry and coconut flapjack recipe The pair quickly realised that they could no longer cater for demand from home. They secured a lease on a commercial kitchen for just £3,000 through buying a failing 'personalised funeral cake' business with a fully fitted unit. 'We took a leap of faith,' Myott said. The increased capacity made it possible for the founders to open their first store in Tavistock in 2018. A friend was looking to get out of a lease on a local shop, and they decided to go for it. The opening went well, and by early 2020, Flapjackery was turning over about £750,000. Then Covid hit. 'We went from £750,000 down to almost zero overnight,' Myott recalled. Her team pivoted to online sales and commissioned a revamp of Flapjackery's website — paid for on a commission basis to save on costs — which kept the business going. After the first lockdown, the Tavistock store began 'ticking over quite happily'. The founders decided to invest the firm's revenues in opening two more stores in Wells and Minehead in Somerset — in part to ensure they could keep their events manager employed while large events remained on hold. Rapid organic growth and 12 more store openings followed. The company has not taken any external investment, Myott said, and she and Jenkin have put in only about £7,000 of their own savings. The entrepreneur puts Flapjackery's success down to factors including creating a model that requires just one member of staff per shop, looking for stores with cheaper rents off the main high streets, and enlisting the help of friends and family. She said: 'If somebody's ill, my sister will drive down to Cornwall and open the shop for us. 'We picked locations with high footfall and a reasonably affluent local community. We're always just slightly off a main high street, so the rents are lower.' When it was opening its second store in 2020, Flapjackery was quoted £60,000 for a refit, but managed to get set up for a fraction of that cost with the help of a friend's son, a theatre designer who was out of work. 'It was a really cost-effective way of doing it,' Myott said. 'We still have the [basis of] that original design in all our shops.' The company has also looked to tap into the appetite for gluten-free products. 'People [with this dietary need] are just so excited when they find us, because suddenly there's a shop where they can buy anything they want.' Today, Flapjackery employs 65 people, sells 25 options with flavours such as Eton mess and caramel latte, and is looking to expand further. Jenkin retired in 2024 to spend more time with her grandchildren, and sold her shares to Myott's brother Hugh, 64, and niece Sophie Myott, 33. The larger team now want to 'grow the company quickly so no one steps in and does what we're doing', Myott said. Plans include moving into retail through selling products in farm shops and garden centres. It is hoped this will 'enhance the brand', but the idea is that wholesale partners will sell different ranges to those stocked in Flapjackery's own stores to avoid cannibalising sales. Flapjackery also recently released dog flapjacks so that pets 'can have a treat too'. Longer term, the team are exploring openings in the US and Australia Myott said: 'We're always looking at different ways we can reimagine flapjacks, but the main thing is quality — it's the one thing I will not compromise on. And we use local products wherever we can.' As for her own future, she plans to move into a part-time role next year. 'I'll still be involved with the company but hopefully not working five days a week. I want to be able to spend time with my dogs on Dartmoor.' She hopes Flapjackery's success will inspire other later-stage entrepreneurs to start a firm. 'I think it shows you're never too old … If you want to do something, just give it a go and see. You need lots of luck, but it's the support of family and friends that really helps.'
Times
18-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Times
Greg Wise: ‘It wasn't love at first sight when I met Emma'
Actor Greg Wise, 59, grew up in Northumberland. He met his wife, the actress Emma Thompson, on the set of the 1995 film Sense and Sensibility. They have an adopted son, Tindy, and a daughter, Gaia, who is an actress. He has starred in The Crown and the BBC's Cranford, and lives in London. Would you say 'nepo baby' to a doctor whose parents were both doctors? No. I was brought up in a house of two architects and I trained as an architect. Our daughter is a young actor. We were never not going to have a daughter who wanted to be an actress. If a household seeps a certain profession through every pore, you're going to pick up on that as a child. She's the spitting image of a young Emma, and played her in a film.
