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Yahoo
6 days ago
- Lifestyle
- Yahoo
7 Nonverbal Cues That Instantly Make You Seem Classy
7 Nonverbal Cues That Instantly Make You Seem Classy originally appeared on Parade. The Internet is full of scripts to help you with different scenarios you might run into. For example, there are tips on how to sound like a gentle parent and set firm boundaries with a toxic relative, or check in with a friend without overstepping. What we say makes a big impact. That being said, while words matter, sometimes, you say a lot without saying anything at all thanks to our body language."Nonverbal cues are all the things our body is doing without ever having to make a peep," says Jenny Dreizen, an etiquette expert, co-founder and COO of Fresh Starts Registry and author of Simple Scripts to Support Your explains that arm tension, the angle of your head and even the way your cheek muscles look can tell a story about you."More often than not, [nonverbal communication] cannot lie," she says. "[These] are the introduction your body makes before your mouth has even opened to say hello. Your posture, gestures and facial expressions send a message about who you are, what you value and how you carry yourself in the world."Want to come off as chic and sophisticated? They say you can't teach class, but Dreizen is proving otherwise, offering seven nonverbal cues that make you seem instantly 7 Classy Nonverbal Cues, According to an Etiquette Expert 1. Soft, steady eye contact The eyes are a window to your soul—and mind and character. If you want to make a classy first impression, Dreizen suggests focusing on your gaze."Maintaining soft but steady eye contact lets people know you are actively engaged in conversation with them," she says. "They will feel seen and heard and not like you are more interested in that conversation over there." 2. Confident posture Don't get it twisted—confidence is classy, not a turn-off. Your body lingo can radiate a confident-meets-inclusive vibe."Keeping your shoulders back and relaxed, head up and back in a comfortable straight position will make you appear warm, confident and welcoming," Dreizen 3. Easy expression Classy people are like the human equivalent of summer breezes."Try to remember your goal is for people to feel at ease around you," Dreizen states. "Relax your mouth, observe the world and try to let the tension drop from your eyes. You want to look pleasant without having to plaster on a smile." 4. Intentional, confident walking Exude class from the moment you walk into a room by walking with quiet confidence and intention."The way you move your body through a space says a lot about you," Dreizen says. "Dragging your feet, slouching or stomping indicates to others that something is off. Instead, try moving slowly, with intention and confidence."Related: 5. Fight distraction Stay connected to the people you're actually with. Ironically, this cue involves a bit of disconnecting from your devices."Making others feel warm and welcome means focusing on them when you are together," Dreizen explains. "Do not check your phone constantly. Do not sit scrolling."Sometimes, you may need to be plugged into your phone, such as if you're waiting for a loved one to come out of surgery. That's OK."If you need to check your phone, mention you need to check it, check it and then put it away," she says. "Being involved in your phone when in community with others can indicate to them you are bored or uninterested." 6. Breathing We do it without thinking. However, Dreizen says intentional breathing is a nonverbal cue that can ensure you come off as instantly classy. Why? Because it'll help prevent you from verbalizing something that makes you sound rude or mean."Before responding, it is OK to take a beat and a breath," she emphasizes. "You aren't on a timer or a sitcom."Use that time to script a less reactionary, more tactful response that displays pure 7. Comfort with stillness and silence Maybe after taking that breath, you decide to stay still and silent. That's so classy. In fact, you can even embrace a prolonged pause in moments when things are calm."Part of being an inviting person is learning to get comfortable in the quiet moments, both alone and with others," Dreizen points out. "Do not feel like you have to fill every quiet beat— it can be an overwhelming experience for both yourself and others."Related: The No. 1 Thing To Avoid if You Want To Look Classy Dreizen says it's crucial to focus on what your face may be telling the other person."You might not realize you're rolling your eyes or making a smirk, but your companions do, even if they don't consciously realize it," she explains. "Be mindful of your inner thoughts leaking straight through to your face." That doesn't mean you have to lie or go heavy on toxic positivity."While we want to be authentic with others, we also have to be mindful of processing our own judgements in our own mind rather than spewing them all around the conversation," Dreizen includes the judgments you communicate without words through expressions and other forms of body language. Up Next:Source: Jenny Dreizen, an etiquette expert, co-founder and COO of Fresh Starts Registry and author of Simple Scripts to Support Your People 7 Nonverbal Cues That Instantly Make You Seem Classy first appeared on Parade on Aug 4, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Aug 4, 2025, where it first appeared. Solve the daily Crossword
Time Magazine
23-07-2025
- General
- Time Magazine
How to Tell a Friend You Don't Like Their Partner
When your friend is in love—and you're writhing in horror at the object of their affection—the first question to ask yourself isn't how to raise the subject. It's whether you should. The decision 'requires a lot of introspection,' says Jordana Abraham, co-founder of the women-focused website Betches and co-host of the dating and relationships podcast U Up? For example: Do you dislike their beau because they have different interests than you, not to mention an off-putting vibe that kills your delusions of double dates? Or are you genuinely worried about the way they're treating someone you care about deeply? 'One is about you,' Abraham says. 'And one is about you protecting your friend.' We asked experts exactly what to say without breaking up your friendship. 'How are things going with Jess?' It's best to enter conversations about your friend's romantic partner with an open mind and a positive attitude. 'Approaching it with curiosity and no judgment will make your friend much more open to hearing your opinions,' Abraham says. If you come across as though you've already made up your mind about their other half, they'll be less likely to confide in you about any issues, because you won't seem like an objective enough source, she adds. Aim to bring it up privately during a quiet moment, rather than in a group setting. 'Your happiness is always my first priority, but I also feel protective of you. There are a few things I've noticed that I'd love to talk to you about—would that be OK?' This approach centers your friend's wellbeing, while gently introducing your concerns in a judgment-free way. 'It tells them you're not trying to control their choices—you're just paying attention because you care,' says Jenny Dreizen, an etiquette expert and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry, a website that offers scripts for tricky conversations. 'Ask for permission before diving in, and if they say they're not ready to hear it, respect that. It's about planting a seed, not demanding a reaction.' Read More: The Worst Thing to Say to Someone Who's Depressed 'I notice you seem different since you started dating Dan. What's changed for you?' The best thing about 'different' is that it's a neutral term, says matchmaker Aleeza Ben Shalom, who hosted the Netflix show Jewish Matchmaking. You're not telling your friend they seem any better or worse than usual—you're simply noting a change in personality and diving into what's behind it. 'It allows them to do some self-reflection and tell you what's going on—and maybe they'll have that 'aha' moment and see what you've also seen,' she says. 'You don't seem to be at your baseline happiness, and I'd love to see you in a relationship where you're at baseline or above.' It's never a good idea to compare your friend's new partner to an ex. Instead, reference their overall happiness, which could factor in their job, where they live, and their relationships, Ben Shalom says. 'It's acknowledging that the person they're with might be affecting them, but not in a way that makes you smile—in a way that makes you concerned,' she says. Read More: 8 Things to Say When Someone Lies to You Another approach Ben Shalom sometimes recommends: 'I don't know that your best self is coming through when you're with Matt.' Once you say this to your friend, follow up with a question: 'Does this resonate with you? Or am I off-base here?' Then allow them to guide the conversation; you'll be able to tell quickly if they're receptive to talking it out, or if you should back off. 'How was it when they met your family? What did they do to celebrate your birthday?' Asking about the more nuanced parts of your friend's relationship can provide insight. Since you're not phrasing your questions in a judgmental way, your friend is less likely to get defensive or clam up. 'They'll feel more free, if they are having an issue, to say, 'It didn't really go that well,' or 'He didn't get along with my mom,'' Abraham says. Your job after that is to make it clear you're a safe space for them to vent or ask for advice—and that you'll always be rooting for the best for them. 'What are the qualities you value most in a partner?' When you phrase a question like this, it's not taking a dig at one specific person—which makes it an ideal way to open a productive conversation, Ben Shalom says. Once your friend tells you what they value the most, ask a pointed follow-up: 'How in alignment do you feel Mike is with your values?' Then pause and allow them to reflect. 'They might be like, 'Well, we're not really connected in this area, but we're super connected here,'' she says. You'll get to learn more about why they're drawn to their partner—which could help shift your perspective. On the other hand, 'They could see, 'Wait a minute, maybe I'm in it for half the right reasons, but maybe this person as a whole isn't necessarily good for me.'' The best part? Your friend will be making the decision on their own, rather than feeling like you're making it for them. 'What's your gut telling you?' Especially in the early stages of a relationship, people often ask their friends: 'What do you think about so-and-so?' Ben Shalom likes to flip the question: 'What does your gut feeling tell you?' 'You don't have to point the finger and tell them—their insight is the most valuable thing to motivate whatever change needs to happen,' she says. 'And the truth is, they have to live with the decision. You don't have to. People pick their own person.' 'I just want to make sure you're up for handling a challenging relationship.' Some situations call for a more direct approach. Ben Shalom recalls the time someone asked her what she thought about their partner, and she replied: 'If you're asking me honestly, I don't think it's a great match. I don't think it's necessarily a smart match, and I don't think it's an easy match.' Then she added that, if they chose to move forward, she hoped they were prepared to navigate a challenging relationship. She recalls telling her friend: 'If you were working out, you could lift about five pounds. Maybe if you work out for a couple years, you'll work your way up to 50 or 100. I think you're trying to lift 500 pounds, and I just don't think you're ever going to be able to bench press that and hold it.' 'You know I'm always here, and always on your side.' Sometimes, the most powerful thing you can do is remind your friend that they're safe with you, Dreizen says. If they're in a dynamic that feels even slightly off, they might already be struggling with isolation or other challenging emotions—so a simple reassurance can help them feel grounded and loved. Read More: 14 Things to Say Besides 'I Love You' 'That's exactly what they need if they ever do want to open up or start questioning their relationship,' she says. 'Say it often. Not just once, not just when you're worried—make it part of your regular friendship language.' Repetition builds a safety net, and your friend will know who to turn to when they're ready. Wondering what to say in a tricky social situation? Email timetotalk@
Newsweek
03-07-2025
- General
- Newsweek
Neighbor Keeps Leaving Same Thing in Apartment Hallway, Internet Outraged
Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources. Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content. An apartment dweller's Reddit post has sparked widespread frustration over a neighbor's clunky habit. In the post, they shared photos of their neighbor's persistent act of leaving a row of empty water jugs in their apartment hallway. The accumulation of bottles has left the poster, and now the internet, baffled and annoyed. Since the post was published, it has received 12,000 upvotes. Newsweek spoke to etiquette and boundaries expert Jenny Dreizen about the post, and how the resident can address the situation. "My neighbor keeps leaving his water jugs outside of my people live in the apartment across the hall, and they refuse to take their water jugs to the dumpster outside," the poster wrote. "No idea why they even go through this many water jugs in the first place." The comments section quickly filled with a mix of outrage, solidarity and creative solutions. "Build a tower leaning on his door so that when he opens it they all fall inside," one Redditor suggested. Many users immediately pointed out the practical and safety concerns. "As others have said, contact your landlord," another wrote. "This is a fire code violation, and the landlord could get fined." Some tried to rationalize the neighbors' behavior, albeit without excusing it: "Not to justify this at all, because they should be storing them in their unit, but the reason they're letting them pile up is (my guess) they want to get enough to justify making a trip to the recycling center. Thank you for saving the planet but yeah it would be better if they kept the jugs in their unit," one commenter offered. 'A Quiet Kind of Disrespect' Newsweek spoke to Dreizen, modern etiquette and boundaries expert, and COO and co-founder of Fresh Starts Registry, about such common living dilemmas. "As someone who spends a lot of time thinking about boundaries, etiquette and the psychology of how we live alongside others, I can tell you that situations like the one described in this Reddit post are more common than people realize," Dreizen said. She explained that such seemingly small acts can carry significant weight. "When a neighbor repeatedly leaves something like empty water jugs outside their door—especially in shared or visible spaces—it can feel like a quiet kind of disrespect. It's not loud or overt, but it chips away at the shared sense of responsibility and consideration that makes communal living feel safe and pleasant," she said. Dreizen noted that while sometimes it's due to a lack of awareness or differing cultural or personal norms, other times, it can be a form of "passive defiance—a way for someone to exert control over their environment or avoid tasks they feel aren't their responsibility." For those like the poster, looking to address such issues constructively, Dreizen recommended clear, respectful communication—ideally soon. She advised a calm approach, like: "Hey, I've noticed the empty jugs by your door. I wasn't sure if you were planning to take them out, but it's becoming a bit of an issue. Would you mind tossing them in the dumpster instead?" Framing the message as an observation could help avoid a defensive response. Dreizen concluded by emphasizing the importance of respect in shared living spaces: "Everyone deserves to feel respected in their living space, and addressing these things early, with compassion and clarity, can go a long way toward preserving that." Newsweek reached out to u/virtualzebra1 for comment via Reddit.
Yahoo
02-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
This post-divorce parenting trend puts the kids first, but it comes with challenges
'Nesting' couples share a home where the kids stay, while parents rotate in and out. Family and relationship experts say that trust and communication are key to making the setup work. Oftentimes, it's difficult to pull off in practice, they warn. When Cordelia Newlin got divorced about three and a half years ago, she and her ex-husband made an agreement. They would keep their daughters, now 14 and 17, in the family home. Newlin and her ex would rotate in and out when it was their time with the girls. "We did this for the kids," Newlin said, who previously wrote about her experience for Business Insider. "We owed them as much effort as possible to make this as painless as possible for them." At the time, Newlin didn't know any other families who had tried a similar living arrangement, which has become known as "nesting." While the idea of nesting after a breakup or divorce can work well for some, family and relationship experts who spoke with Business Insider caution that it can be difficult to pull off in practice because it requires a high level of trust and communication. "It really only works for a very slim margin of people," Olivia Howell, cofounder and CEO of Fresh Starts Registry, which helps people navigate divorce, said. Aurisha Smolarski, a licensed family therapist, decided to get divorced quickly. She was concerned about the abruptness of the transition for her daughter, who was 6 years old at the time. She and her ex-husband tried nesting. Like Newlin, they also didn't know what it was called when they started the arrangement. "I don't regret doing it slowly for her, and I believe it set her up for success when we moved into the new home," Smolarski, who is also the author of "Cooperative Coparenting for Secure Kids," said. However, nesting "just didn't work for us in the long term," she added. She and her ex-husband were still arguing, and they eventually realized that their daughter could overhear. That made them very concerned and led to the realization that their new arrangement, designed to benefit her daughter, wasn't actually helping. It underscores a problem that Smolarski sees professionally with nesting. "Often, people will roll right into it with the old habits that may not work, or may never have worked," she said. Not only should exes consider where they stand with each other, but counselor Bonnie Scott also said that parents need to coparent together really well in order to consider nesting. "If you can keep a really good coparenting relationship and try out nesting, it's worth a shot," Scott said. "But if the coparenting relationship would be better with the traditional setup, that's really the more important factor." Parents should also consider their custody split. Nesting might work well for a 50/50 split, where each adult feels equally invested in the family home, but less well if one parent only has the kids every other weekend, she said. Newlin credits careful planning for making her arrangement work long-term. She said she and her ex spent nine months and many therapy sessions (apart and together) before their divorce, hashing out the details before they moved forward with nesting. "We really thought it out and planned it carefully," she said. At the beginning, that included formal weekly check-ins over Zoom, where they discussed everything from upcoming school events to whose turn it was to take out the trash. These days, it's more fluid, she said. "We only check in when we see big issues that we don't already have an agreed way of handling," she said, like how their daughter would celebrate her quinceañera — a milestone birthday in Mexico, where they live. People who are considering nesting with an ex need to consider many logistics, right down to who will handle chores, buy food for the home, and pay for necessary maintenance. Newlin said she and her ex worked these details out up front. They both stay in the same bed at the family home, so changing the sheets between occupants is essential. At first, the person departing was responsible for changing the sheets, but they later found it worked better to have the arriving parent change and wash the sheets. She also said they always make sure to leave each other with grocery essentials like milk and eggs, and they maintain a shared grocery list via an app called To Do. The goal is to prevent resentment between the partners, she said. That's critical for nesting, Scott said. She also recommends talking about worst-case scenarios, such as what will happen if the nesting situation is no longer working for one or both people. "The stability of the situation lies in the adults being able to work together," she said. Many people choose nesting to benefit their kids. However, Howell said it's important that parents consider their own mental health and comfort level, since that often impacts children too. "So much of the divorce process is the healing process after," Howell said. "You can't do that if you don't feel safe and regulated." She emphasized that people who are nesting need a deep level of trust. You need to know that your partner won't go through your private items when you're not in the home, for example. Oftentimes, factors that contribute to divorce — like lies, infidelity, or addiction issues — mean that trust just isn't feasible, Howell said. All three experts — Howell, Scott, and Smolarski — agree that whatever makes your coparenting relationship the most healthy is also the best option for the kids. "If you're going to move forward with the idea of nesting, you need to do that because it feels right for you and for your kids," Scott said. "Ultimately, if it's not right for you, it's not right for your kids either, and it's not sustainable." Read the original article on Business Insider
Business Insider
02-07-2025
- General
- Business Insider
This post-divorce parenting trend puts the kids first, but it comes with challenges
When Cordelia Newlin got divorced about three and a half years ago, she and her ex-husband made an agreement. They would keep their daughters, now 14 and 17, in the family home. Newlin and her ex would rotate in and out when it was their time with the girls. "We did this for the kids," Newlin said, who previously wrote about her experience for Business Insider. "We owed them as much effort as possible to make this as painless as possible for them." At the time, Newlin didn't know any other families who had tried a similar living arrangement, which has become known as "nesting." While the idea of nesting after a breakup or divorce can work well for some, family and relationship experts who spoke with Business Insider caution that it can be difficult to pull off in practice because it requires a high level of trust and communication. "It really only works for a very slim margin of people," Olivia Howell, cofounder and CEO of Fresh Starts Registry, which helps people navigate divorce, said. Intentional planning is critical Aurisha Smolarski, a licensed family therapist, decided to get divorced quickly. She was concerned about the abruptness of the transition for her daughter, who was 6 years old at the time. She and her ex-husband tried nesting. Like Newlin, they also didn't know what it was called when they started the arrangement. "I don't regret doing it slowly for her, and I believe it set her up for success when we moved into the new home," Smolarski, who is also the author of " Cooperative Coparenting for Secure Kids," said. However, nesting "just didn't work for us in the long term," she added. She and her ex-husband were still arguing, and they eventually realized that their daughter could overhear. That made them very concerned and led to the realization that their new arrangement, designed to benefit her daughter, wasn't actually helping. It underscores a problem that Smolarski sees professionally with nesting. Please help BI improve our Business, Tech, and Innovation coverage by sharing a bit about your role — it will help us tailor content that matters most to people like you. Continue By providing this information, you agree that Business Insider may use this data to improve your site experience and for targeted advertising. By continuing you agree that you accept the Terms of Service and Privacy Policy . "Often, people will roll right into it with the old habits that may not work, or may never have worked," she said. Not only should exes consider where they stand with each other, but counselor Bonnie Scott also said that parents need to coparent together really well in order to consider nesting. "If you can keep a really good coparenting relationship and try out nesting, it's worth a shot," Scott said. "But if the coparenting relationship would be better with the traditional setup, that's really the more important factor." Parents should also consider their custody split. Nesting might work well for a 50/50 split, where each adult feels equally invested in the family home, but less well if one parent only has the kids every other weekend, she said. Nesters need to work together to handle logistics Newlin credits careful planning for making her arrangement work long-term. She said she and her ex spent nine months and many therapy sessions (apart and together) before their divorce, hashing out the details before they moved forward with nesting. "We really thought it out and planned it carefully," she said. At the beginning, that included formal weekly check-ins over Zoom, where they discussed everything from upcoming school events to whose turn it was to take out the trash. These days, it's more fluid, she said. "We only check in when we see big issues that we don't already have an agreed way of handling," she said, like how their daughter would celebrate her quinceañera — a milestone birthday in Mexico, where they live. People who are considering nesting with an ex need to consider many logistics, right down to who will handle chores, buy food for the home, and pay for necessary maintenance. Newlin said she and her ex worked these details out up front. They both stay in the same bed at the family home, so changing the sheets between occupants is essential. At first, the person departing was responsible for changing the sheets, but they later found it worked better to have the arriving parent change and wash the sheets. She also said they always make sure to leave each other with grocery essentials like milk and eggs, and they maintain a shared grocery list via an app called To Do. The goal is to prevent resentment between the partners, she said. That's critical for nesting, Scott said. She also recommends talking about worst-case scenarios, such as what will happen if the nesting situation is no longer working for one or both people. "The stability of the situation lies in the adults being able to work together," she said. If it's not a healthy situation for the parents, it won't be for the kids Many people choose nesting to benefit their kids. However, Howell said it's important that parents consider their own mental health and comfort level, since that often impacts children too. "So much of the divorce process is the healing process after," Howell said. "You can't do that if you don't feel safe and regulated." She emphasized that people who are nesting need a deep level of trust. You need to know that your partner won't go through your private items when you're not in the home, for example. Oftentimes, factors that contribute to divorce — like lies, infidelity, or addiction issues — mean that trust just isn't feasible, Howell said. All three experts — Howell, Scott, and Smolarski — agree that whatever makes your coparenting relationship the most healthy is also the best option for the kids. "If you're going to move forward with the idea of nesting, you need to do that because it feels right for you and for your kids," Scott said. "Ultimately, if it's not right for you, it's not right for your kids either, and it's not sustainable."
