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Yahoo
02-07-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
'Am I Annoying?' This Checklist Should Help You Tell, According to Psychologists
'Am I Annoying?' This Checklist Should Help You Tell, According to Psychologists originally appeared on Parade. Obnoxious reality alert: It can be really hard to figure out whether or not you're annoying."Our brains tend to filter information in ways that protect our self-image, which makes it easy to overlook or minimize subtle social feedback," explains Dr. Thomas McDonagh, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist and owner of Good Therapy San Dr. McDonagh says it's worth stepping back now and again and asking yourself, "Am I annoying?""Annoying behavior is typically something that repeatedly disrupts, irritates or drains the emotional or mental energy of others, often unintentionally," he says. "It's not about being disliked but about the mismatch between how a person is acting and what the situation or social context calls for."To help you read the room, Dr. McDonagh and other psychologists share 13 signs people might find you annoying. Cringing at how many boxes you check? Worry not—"annoying" isn't a permanent state. Psychologists also share tips on how to become less There's a time and a place for loud voices, like when your favorite baseball player hits a walk-off grand slam. However, many people prefer you save the "10/10" volume for these very specific situations. Otherwise? Indoor voices, please."For some people, loud speakers are perceived as aggressive and rude," explains Dr. Jan Miller, Ph.D., a Georgia-based licensed psychologist with Thriveworks. "Others may be bothered by the volume due to hearing sensitivity. Being attuned to how others react to the volume of your voice, such as whether they wince or back away when you speak, can help you avoid this annoying behavior."Related: How loud your voice is isn't the only thing that speaks volumes."If you talk a lot without giving others space, especially if people seem distracted or struggle to interject, it's a sign you may be overwhelming the social dynamic," Dr. McDonagh says. "This often stems from anxiety, a desire to connect or a lack of awareness. Even if you don't mean to, it can still leave others feeling unseen or exhausted."Related: Whether or not you're prone to dominating conversations, Dr. McDonagh shares that a filter is important."Sharing vulnerably is a strength, but when someone reveals intimate or heavy details early on, it can feel overwhelming to others," he points out. "This kind of emotional intensity challenges boundaries, especially in new relationships where trust hasn't yet been built."Related: Dr. Miller defines a know-it-all as someone who "may frequently interrupt conversations, offer unasked-for advice and create a one-sided and dismissive dynamic." She notes that people often find all three to be annoying. "This often leads to others feeling disrespected and unvalued," she McDonagh agrees, emphasizing the "unsolicited advice" part."Unsolicited advice can come across as condescending or controlling, even when well-intentioned," he clarifies. "It signals that you're more focused on your own thoughts than listening, and people may feel dismissed or judged rather than supported." Annoying behavior isn't just "loud" and "cocky.""Lacking confidence and being too unsure of oneself can also be an irksome character trait," shares Dr. Michele Goldman, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor. "Self-doubt, low self-esteem and feeling very insecure about oneself can be challenging for others to tolerate and be around." This one is like nails on a chalkboard in terms of how annoying it is for some people."Being on your phone in social situations is often interpreted as rude and disconnected," Dr. Miller says. "It creates a barrier between you and your surroundings, which prevents you from being involved in your social environment."She says signs you're turning people off with your always-on habits include overt comments about your phone use or people trying to distract you from your device by pulling you into conversations."If you notice these things happening, you may benefit from putting your phone away and engaging with your surroundings," she Perhaps when you're "always on your phone," you're sending your second follow-up text to a pal about the happy hour you invited them to an hour ago. This type of behavior can be super annoying to many people."Being overly persistent, whether that is texting multiple times, repeating requests or forcing interactions, can come across as clingy or pushy and therefore annoying," reports, a licensed clinical psychologist. "It suggests that you are not attuned to other people's boundaries and may not be taking a subtle no for an answer."Related: No one is expecting you to be happy all the time. However, people generally don't like a perpetual killjoy."Constant complaining brings down the moods and energies of others, making interactions draining," Dr. Miller says. "You may notice that others avoid certain topics with you or stop engaging with you altogether. It could be helpful to check in with yourself on whether your view is consistently negative, and if so, you can work to bring more balanced perspectives to interactions."Related: Remember, it's only a joke if everyone is laughing."If people go quiet or change the subject after you joke, it may be a sign the humor is landing wrong," Dr. McDonagh warns. "Repeated 'teasing' can feel like low-grade criticism, which builds resentment over time." There may be a reason why your happy hour and dinner invitations always get turned down: You're not very nice to the servers."Being rude to service workers often alienates others as it is seen as aggressive and manipulative towards those who have a power-down position in the inherent power hierarchy of customer-service worker," Dr. Miller explains. "You may get feedback from others to be nicer or refusals to join you in situations where there are service workers."Related: A Pinterest-perfect home is an unrealistic expectation. However, Dr. Miller shares that loading the dishwasher or sweeping up dirt dragged in from a hike isn't too much to ask. She reveals that not tidying up "can leave some people feeling like they need to clean up after the person, which can be physically exhausting." In addition to building awareness about how your behavior is annoying, psychologists also emphasize the importance of understanding social cues. Dr. Goldman says individuals often cut conversations short with someone they find irritating."This might be because people do not want to be interacting with you because people feel that you talk too much or because people don't think you really hear what they're saying during a conversation," she explains. "These are all habits that can be quite annoying to people and, therefore, might impact people's interactions with you."Related: A red flag that you're turning others off is that they try to spend less (or no) time with you. "If you are constantly the one initiating contact and others rarely return the effort, it may indicate your presence feels draining to them," Dr. Schiff Dr. Goldman shares that self-reflection is critical to determining whether or not you have annoying traits. "This is also especially important because in some relationships, one trait is annoying while in another relationship, that exact same trait is acceptable," she clarifies. "For example, in some friend groups, saying, 'I don't know, we can do whatever you want' is a sign that someone is easy-going and flexible—a positive interpretation—but in other friend groups, it's seen as an inability to make a decision—a negative interpretation."Related: People may not come out and tell you that you're annoying (it's kind of awkward, to be fair). You may need to pick up on nonverbal cues, such as body language."Pay attention to body language, tone shifts or whether people seem to change the subject or disengage," Dr. McDonagh says. "These are often subtle signs of discomfort."However, he notes that you can use your improved ability to pause and check in with yourself to your advantage as you learn to notice these hints. This one can feel uncomfortable for you and perhaps the other person. However, you may learn a valuable lesson about yourself that will benefit you (and them) in the long term."If you are open to gentle, constructive criticism, it can give you insight into how your behavior affects others," Dr. Schiff explains. "This way, you don't have to guess or feel stuck in insecurity—you can grow."Up Next:Dr. Thomas McDonagh, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist and owner of Good Therapy San Francisco Dr. Jan Miller, Ph.D., a Georgia-based licensed psychologist with Thriveworks Dr. Michele Goldman, Ph.D., a psychologist and Hope for Depression Research Foundation media advisor Dr. Holly Schiff, Psy.D., a licensed clinical psychologist 'Am I Annoying?' This Checklist Should Help You Tell, According to Psychologists first appeared on Parade on Jul 1, 2025 This story was originally reported by Parade on Jul 1, 2025, where it first appeared.
Yahoo
02-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
17 Things Moms Do That Dads Just Don't
Motherhood and fatherhood are not the same gig. Sure, both roles are vital, but the invisible labor, the unspoken expectations, and the emotional bandwidth that moms hold? It's a different universe. Moms are the ones who remember, who anticipate, who hold the tiny details of life together like glue—while dads, well, they get the credit for 'babysitting' their own kids. It's not about blaming—it's about naming. And it's time we got real about the things moms do that dads just… don't. Moms are the architects of holiday rituals, birthday routines, and those quirky 'just us' moments that kids carry into adulthood. They make the hot chocolate on snow days, plan the annual pumpkin patch trip, and sneak love notes into lunchboxes. It's the little things that make childhood feel magical—and moms are the ones making sure they happen as this article in Good Therapy notes. These traditions don't just appear—they're built by someone who cares enough to think, plan, and show up. Moms make memories while the rest of the family just gets to enjoy them. Moms are often the ones holding space for tears, tantrums, and existential 3 a.m. fears. They're the ones who say, 'It's okay to feel that way' and show kids how to name and process their feelings. It's quiet emotional coaching that shapes how kids learn to navigate the world. Dads might step in with 'Toughen up,' but moms are often the ones who sit in the hard feelings with their kids. They model what empathy looks like—and that's a lesson that lasts a lifetime. Moms are the ones emailing teachers, fighting insurance companies, and pushing for answers when a doctor brushes off a concern. They show up at the parent-teacher conference prepared, advocating like it's their job—because it is as HuffPost explains. No one fights for kids like a mom who knows her child deserves better. It's not about being 'that mom'—it's about not letting the system swallow their kids whole. Moms stand up when others stay quiet. And they don't take no for an answer when it comes to their child's well-being. Moms are the keepers of the family's memory bank. They know when the first tooth fell out, what song their toddler was obsessed with, and why their teenager still hates green beans. They hold the stories that make a family feel like a family. Dads might remember the 'big stuff,' but moms remember it all. They're the living archive of the moments that matter—big, small, and everything in between. Moms are the ones reminding kids to say 'please' and 'thank you,' to hold the door open, to ask how someone's day was. They model kindness not by lecturing, but by doing—dropping off meals for sick neighbors, writing thank-you notes, showing up when it matters. They don't just tell their kids how to care—they show them—because they understand the importance of manners as Headspace explains. These small, daily lessons add up to something bigger: raising humans who know how to exist in a world with grace. It's a quiet kind of leadership that often gets overlooked—but it's the foundation of empathy, respect, and compassion. Moms don't just know their own kids—they know all the kids. They remember who's allergic to peanuts, who gets nervous at sleepovers, who's been struggling in math class, and who's obsessed with dinosaurs. They hold this mental database like a quiet superpower, making sure every child feels seen and cared for. Dads might nod politely at the neighbor's kid, but moms remember the details. They ask the right questions, pack the extra snack, and check in when it matters. It's an emotional radar that keeps the whole ecosystem running smoothly. Moms are experts at reading the room—before the room even knows it needs reading. They can see the signs of an overtired tantrum brewing or a hangry breakdown coming from a mile away. This intuition isn't magic; it's the product of constant attunement. Dads? They'll notice when it's already happening. Moms intervene before the tears start—because they know prevention is half the battle. Moms are human calendars, keeping track of pediatrician visits, school picture days, and Great Aunt Susan's birthday next Thursday. As highlighted by The New York Times, moms still do the majority of the scheduling, even in so-called 'equal' households. It's a mental load that never fully shuts off. Dads might set a reminder here and there, but moms live in the details. They don't just remember the date—they remember the dentist's name, the teacher's email, and who's allergic to peanuts. Moms are the quiet orchestrators of childhood magic. They slip in dollar bills under pillows and make it look like fairies have been there—because they know the power of small wonders. They read fairytales and they keep the Santa Dream alive as long as they can. Moms don't just keep the logistics running—they keep the magic alive. It's an emotional labor that dads rarely even realize is happening. Moms don't just slap a sandwich together—they think about nutrition, allergies, who likes what, and whether it'll get eaten or traded for Oreos. Moms are more likely to handle daily food prep and planning, even when both parents work. It's not just about feeding—it's about nurturing. Dads? They'll pack what's quick. Moms pack what's thoughtful—and worry about whether the carrots will come home uneaten. Whether it's going back to work, staying home, letting the baby cry, or giving in to screen time, moms carry the guilt. Every choice feels like a referendum on their worth. It's an exhausting double bind that dads just don't carry in the same way. Moms are expected to be all things: nurturing, career-driven, selfless, put-together. And if they fall short, they're the first to internalize the blame. Moms don't just hand out blankets—they remember who likes a cold room, who needs the nightlight, and which stuffed animal has to be in bed. They adjust the fan, tuck in the edges, and anticipate the 'Mom, I'm too hot!' complaints before they happen. It's a sixth sense built from years of noticing. Dads might ask, 'Are you good?'—but moms know what their kids need before they even say it. Moms are often the barometers of the household—adjusting energy, soothing tensions, and preemptively diffusing drama. They know when a sibling fight is about to explode or when a partner needs a minute to breathe. It's invisible work that keeps the family running. Dads might step in when it's obvious, but moms read the subtext. They see what's brewing and adjust accordingly—before it even turns into a storm. Moms lie awake thinking about the weird mole on their kid's back, the school shooter drills, the car seat that might be too loose. They run endless mental simulations of worst-case scenarios—because someone has to. It's not neuroticism; it's survival. Dads? They sleep. Moms? They catastrophize in the dark and still get up with the kids at 6. Moms notice the little signs: the glassy eyes, the whiny voice, the 'I'm not hungry' before the fever even hits. They preemptively cancel plans, stock up on medicine, and clear the calendar—because they know. It's an intuition dads rarely tap into as quickly. It's not psychic—it's vigilance. And it's why moms are often the first line of defense when a stomach bug takes down the whole house. Moms are the glue that keeps extended family ties intact. They're the ones who remember to call Grandma, text the cousins, and keep everyone in the loop. Without them, family group chats would die, and birthdays would pass unnoticed. Dads might say 'We should reach out more,' but moms do it. They're the connectors—quietly holding it all together. Moms aren't just managing tasks—they're managing everything. The mental load is the list that never ends: school forms, dentist appointments, new shoes, growth spurts, emotional crises. It's the background noise in their heads 24/7. Dads might say, 'You should've asked'—but the problem is, moms already do. They're asking themselves, planning, and executing before anyone even notices. And that's the quiet labor that rarely gets the credit it deserves.
