Latest news with #HennaPryor
Forbes
10 hours ago
- General
- Forbes
‘Good Awkward' Can Actually Make You More Credible
. For some people, it's easier to floss with barbed wire than to navigate their way through a moment of awkwardness. It doesn't have to be that way, and Henna Pryor offers a bounty of smart advice in her wonderfully readable book Good Awkward: How to Embrace the Embarrassing and Celebrate the Cringe to Become the Bravest You. Pryor flips the script on awkwardness and shows how those uncomfortable, cringe-worthy moments can actually be powerful catalysts for personal and professional success. She cites a study she led showing that 30% of employees would rather scrub a toilet than ask for help. The purpose of the study was to explore what she calls 'social muscle atrophy.' She says people's social skills have been declining for decades, and the decline accelerated during the pandemic. Surprising to some, the decline is seen in all generations, not just among younger people. Pryor's research also uncovers what she calls 'false self-sufficiency' where 43% of executives feel they must handle everything alone. Apparently, they regard collaboration as awkward. So, what's the difference between being awkward and being inept? Henna Pryor 'Awkwardness is a social emotion of discomfort,' Pryor says, 'while ineptitude implies a deep lack of competence or skill. It's possible to be highly competent and still experience moments of awkwardness.' Pryor talks about the cost of avoiding awkwardness. 'Sometimes in our quest to be seen as credible and professional and sophisticated we forget the value of our humanity,' she says. 'Today, especially in this age of AI, humans are fatigued by the overly polished, blurred, perfected versions of other people. When we try to avoid awkwardness, we actually lose the very thing that makes us relatable and trustworthy. That's our human edge.' Despite an assumption some may draw from her book title, Pryor is not talking about introversion. She describes herself as 'a textbook extrovert' and underscores that the struggle with declining social muscles can affect any personality. Another surprising point made by Pryor: empathy is an awkwardness accelerator. 'I'm certainly not suggesting that empathy is a bad thing,' Pryor says. 'But there's a specific type of empathy that can cause problems for people who are trying to take more risks and be more bold or put themselves out there more. It's called EEE—a phenomenon referred to as easily empathetically embarrassed. Other terms for it are vicarious embarrassment or secondhand embarrassment.' . What does that look like? Picture someone stepping to a podium to give a speech. They mispronounce someone's name and, even though you're not the one speaking at the podium, you feel embarrassed on the speaker's behalf. Why is that a problem in excess? First, the speaker may not be feeling embarrassment at all. Secondly, if you are so easily empathetically embarrassed for someone else, it's going to be hard for you to take chances yourself. Rehearsal and repetition, Pryor says, can help people deal with a potentially awkward situation. 'Social muscles are like any muscles,' she says. 'Rehearsal and repetition are the sort of proverbial push-ups for social moments, especially an awkward situation. If you practice for awkward situations like difficult conversations, you're building that social and mental muscle memory. That helps you feel more prepared and less flustered when one of those real moments inevitably hits.' If you're like many people, you spend a good deal of time in meetings. One tip Pryor offers is starting a meeting with a 'bad idea brainstorm.' 'Sure, that sounds crazy at first,' Pryor says. 'But innovation often emerges when people feel safe to put ideas on the table that may initially seem unrealistic.' Sort of like suggesting that a wireless device that fits in your pocket could serve as a telephone, a music and video player, a camera, and much more. A bad idea brainstorm, Pryor says, helps mentally rewire people to value contribution. It also helps them realize that 'good awkward' is a treasured moment, not an oxymoron.
Forbes
13-05-2025
- Health
- Forbes
Why Social Fitness Is Essential To Leaders And How To Strengthen Yours
Why Social Fitness Is Essential For Modern Leaders (And How to Strengthen Yours) When we picture great leaders, we often think of bold visionaries, sharp strategists, or decisive problem-solvers. Those qualities certainly matter. But another trait quietly sets exceptional leaders apart in today's workplace. That trait is social fitness. Social fitness is like physical fitness in that it helps you stay strong and energized. Social fitness is what enables you to connect, communicate, and lead people effectively. It's not something you're born with, it's something you work on. And in a world of hybrid teams, fast-changing dynamics, and high expectations, it's becoming one of the most valuable skills you can have, especially if you're a leader. Social fitness is your ability to build, maintain, and strengthen relationships, both personally and professionally. It's rooted in emotional intelligence, strong communication, empathy, and adaptability. Essentially, it's the soft skills that help you show up as your best self in the moments that matter. Leading experts, Shane Hatton and Henna Pryor describe social fitness as your capacity to connect, collaborate, and influence. It can feel awkward at first, especially if you're not naturally outgoing. But just like building physical strength, developing social fitness takes regular, intentional steps. Over time, those 'conversational muscles' help you face challenges, build trust, and stand out as a leader people want to follow. Social fitness is a crucial, yet often overlooked, skill that plays a key role in how leaders engage with their teams, foster collaboration, and handle challenges. Whether it's creating a supportive work culture or driving productivity, leaders with high social fitness are better equipped to succeed. So, why is it essential for every leader? Understanding others is the foundation of strong leadership, and that requires emotional intelligence. Leaders with emotional intelligence can read nonverbal cues, understand team dynamics, and respond in ways that build trust rather than create tension. Harvard Business Review research shows emotional intelligence is one of the strongest predictors of leadership success. It directly impacts how teams collaborate, their overall morale, and the results they achieve. By building up your social fitness, the ability to build, maintain, and foster relationships, your emotional intelligence increases significantly. When leaders can read behavior patterns, not just words, they quickly identify who's disengaged in meetings, who needs additional clarity on projects, and who performs best under pressure. This awareness enables them to lead with empathy and tailor their approach to support each team member effectively. Emotionally intelligent leaders don't just talk at their teams; they connect with them. This connection maintains healthy communication, builds stronger relationships, and keeps everyone aligned toward common goals. In today's fast-moving workforce, social fitness isn't just nice to have, it's a competitive advantage. Career advancement now depends on connection as much as competence or credentials. Leaders who are masters at social fitness know how to: The goal isn't knowing everyone, it's nurturing the right relationships. A socially fit leader becomes someone others want to follow, collaborate with, and advocate for in decision-making rooms. Recent Zippia research shows 85% of job opportunities are filled through networking rather than applications, with 70% of employees reporting they got their current position through connections. Your network isn't just a career asset; it's your influence in action. Leadership often brings high pressure, isolation, and decision fatigue. These factors quietly undermine mental health. That's where social fitness plays a critical role. For today's leaders, building strong, supportive relationships isn't just a soft skill; it's a resilience strategy. Social fitness encourages regular connection, open communication, and emotional awareness, all of which reduce stress and strengthen psychological well-being. Socially isolated leaders are more prone to burnout and impaired judgment, negatively affecting team performance. Conversely, leaders who stay socially engaged make better decisions, remain more grounded, and sustain their leadership capacity under pressure. Simply put, social fitness helps leaders protect their mental health, and that stability supports clear, confident, and consistent leadership. Leaders with strong social fitness can build inclusive cultures where collaboration and innovation thrive, even across screens. Social fitness enables leaders to adapt communication styles and promote psychological safety, ensuring every voice is heard. This is especially important in virtual settings where body language and informal cues are limited. By practicing empathy, active listening, and cultural awareness, socially fit leaders create stronger team cohesion and empower bold thinking, creating more connected, creative, and high-performing workplaces, regardless of location. Effective leadership requires sound judgment, especially in complex, high-pressure situations. Social fitness strengthens this ability by creating environments where open dialogue, diverse perspectives, and trust-based communication become the norm. Leaders with strong social fitness build networks where team members feel safe sharing honest feedback and alternative viewpoints. This broadens the leader's perspective, reduces blind spots, and leads to more informed, collaborative decisions. Leaders who foster open, inclusive communication make better choices and adapt more effectively during uncertainty. Additionally, social fitness helps leaders manage emotionally charged situations with composure, staying empathetic, listening actively, and responding constructively rather than reactively. For leaders, strong relationships are a strategic advantage. The 5-3-1 framework, introduced by Killam in The Art and Science of Connection, offers a focused approach to building these kinds of relationships. Connect with five people each week, nurture three close professional relationships, and dedicate one hour daily to meaningful conversation. In practice, this means making time for one-on-one check-ins, sharing sincere recognition, and being fully present in meetings. By investing in authentic connections, leaders create stronger teams, more engaged cultures, and networks that support long-term success. Improving your social fitness at work starts with a simple yet powerful habit: checking in. Checking in means more than just the passing "How are you?" Genuine check-ins invite real conversation. Whether leading a team or collaborating cross-functionally, taking initiative to reach out builds relational trust. These moments don't need to be formal. A quick virtual coffee chat, a walk-and-talk, or a few minutes before a meeting can make an impact. The goal is to be present, ask thoughtful questions, and really listen. Strong social fitness isn't just about talking; it's about truly listening. Many professionals fall into the habit of waiting to speak instead of actively hearing what others say. Developing your listening skills means being fully present in conversations, minimizing distractions, and responding with empathy and clarity. When leaders listen with intention, they create space for others to feel valued, understood, and respected. This not only improves communication but also forms the foundation of a socially fit workplace. Strengthen your conversations by asking open-ended questions. A key component of social fitness is the ability to engage others in meaningful dialogue. Questions like "What are your thoughts on...?" or "Can you walk me through your perspective?" encourage deeper conversations and demonstrate genuine interest. This approach helps you gain insights into colleagues' ideas and experiences while signaling that you value their input, building trust and mutual respect. To keep discussions relevant and engaging, stay informed on current events and industry trends. Thoughtful, well-informed conversation starters can elevate everyday interactions while maintaining a professional tone by avoiding polarizing topics. Building your social fitness is an ongoing process, and the right resources can accelerate your growth. From books and podcasts to online courses and workshops, numerous tools are designed to strengthen specific social skills, whether it's active listening, reading body language, or navigating professional networking. Identify areas where you'd like to improve and seek out high-quality content tailored to those topics. Most importantly, apply what you learn in real-world interactions. Social fitness isn't just about knowing what to do; it's about consistently practicing in everyday conversations in both personal and professional settings. A practical way to strengthen your social fitness is by observing skilled communicators around you. Pay attention to subtle cues like how they maintain eye contact, use open body language, or steer conversations with thoughtful language. Note what makes their interactions feel approachable, confident, or authentic. Begin incorporating these behaviors into your communication style. For example, maintaining steady eye contact when initiating conversations or actively listening signals confidence and attentiveness. The goal isn't to copy others exactly but to observe effective behaviors and incorporate them in a way that aligns with your authentic communication style. Enhancing your social fitness is a valuable investment in both your career and personal development. By practicing intentional communication, asking thoughtful questions, and learning from those around you, you build stronger, more resilient professional relationships. Remember, becoming socially fit is not about perfection. It's about being engaged, adaptable, and sincere in your interactions. As you refine how you relate to others, you elevate your influence and effectiveness as a leader.
Time Magazine
24-04-2025
- General
- Time Magazine
9 Ways to Set Healthy Boundaries With Your Parents
Boundaries are hardest to set with the people you've known the longest—your parents—and it's natural to stress about how they'll go over. 'People worry that by asserting this preference, they're tearing down the relationship or not honoring that emotional closeness,' says Henna Pryor, author of Good Awkward: How to Embrace the Embarrassing and Celebrate the Cringe to Become The Bravest You. 'But actually, you're upgrading the relationship for your adult life.' Being clear about your wants, needs, and deal-breakers can reduce resentment, invite mutual understanding, and teach others how to treat you. It's an opportunity to model what healthy respect looks like and rewrite old patterns, experts say. Here's exactly how to approach the conversation with your folks, and how to navigate the most common scenarios. 'I know you're trying to help, and I appreciate that. Right now, I just need someone to listen, not solve.' The only thing worse than bad advice is advice you didn't want in the first place. If your parents love dishing out unsolicited tips, Pryor advises first reminding yourself that they're doing it because they care and want to be helpful. 'What we don't want to do is not acknowledge that intention, because that's generally where it's coming from,' she says. After thanking your parent, pause for a moment—which softens the incoming boundary and gives it space to land. Then explain how much you appreciate having their ear. 'It's a gentle re-steering of the role you want them to play,' she says.'You're not pushing them away—you're letting them know you need someone to listen or hold space, instead of telling you what to do.' 'I miss you too, and I'm doing my best to balance everything. Can we plan a time that works for both of us?' Your parents might complain how they never see you anymore—only to guilt trip you with a last-minute invitation. Approach setting a boundary from, first, an emotional place—you're eager to spend more time together, too—and then move on to the logic, Pryor suggests. That means figuring out a time that will work for both of you, so you don't have to turn down impromptu plans and then feel bad about it. It's important to skip the accusatory tone, she adds: 'Why do you always do this last-minute?' Instead, focus on developing a structure or schedule that works for both of you. 'I want to be fully present when we talk, so can we stick to [time or day]? Otherwise, I'm usually mid-something and can't give you my full focus.' If your parents keep calling at inconvenient times, set a boundary around a time that works best for both of you: 'Mom, I can't wait to hear about your lunch with Aunt Judy, but right now I'm trying to get a project out the door. Let's talk after dinner.' That way, Pryor says, they'll see you want to be able to give them your undivided attention and be present rather than multitasking through the conversation. You could also create an office-hours-type schedule, as long as you follow through consistently, she adds: 'Boundaries are created in repetition, not one-offs.' 'I care about our relationship, which is why I'm asking that we not talk about this topic today.' This is an ideal way to set a boundary when navigating recurring conflict, whether it's about politics, parenting choices, or past grievances. 'It communicates that the goal isn't avoidance—it's preservation,' says Caroline Fenkel, chief clinical officer with the virtual mental-health platform Charlie Health. 'You're setting the boundary because you care, not because you want to shut the other person out.' She suggests drawing these lines as early as possible, before you're mid-conflict, and keeping your message short and clear. If necessary, reinforce your boundary by offering a redirect: 'Let's focus on the time we have together.' 'I love you, but I'm not the right person to help with that.' This boundary is especially helpful when a parent leans on you for emotional support in ways that feel overwhelming or inappropriate: venting about your other parent, processing their own mental health, or relying on you for constant reassurance. 'It gently reorients the relationship back to one that feels more sustainable,' Fenkel says. Lead with empathy, then pivot. For example: 'That sounds really hard. Have you talked to your therapist about it?' 'It's not about shutting them down,' she adds. 'It's about reminding both of you that you're their child, not their therapist.' 'I've made peace with my decision, and I know it may not be how you would've done it. But I need you to respect that it works for me.' Maybe you have one of those parents who criticizes every life choice, from who you date to how you parent. Pryor suggests reframing: Criticism, in many cases, is worry in disguise, she points out. It can be helpful to focus on setting a firm but loving boundary. Let mom or dad know you appreciate their concern and understand they would have gone about things differently, but that you need them to respect that you're doing what's best for you. 'It signals closure and confidence,' she says. 'You're not asking for approval; you're asserting self-trust. That's boundary gold.' 'I'm still sorting through that myself, so I'm not ready to talk about it yet. When I am, I promise you'll be one of the first to know.' Nosy parents love digging for details you're not ready to share. Often, that's because they feel disconnected, like you don't need them anymore. Setting a boundary 'gives a clear 'not now' without slamming the door,' Pryor says. 'It's a 'later' that gives you breathing room and helps them feel included down the line.' Try to keep your tone matter-of-fact and reassuring, she adds, like you're offering a raincheck, not dodging them. 'I'm working on trusting my own decisions. It means a lot to know you're in my corner.' If your parent tends to over-step, you may need to set a boundary that makes it clear you're the CEO of your own life. Let them know you appreciate the fact that, if you need them, they'll be there—but it's important for you to figure things out on your own, says Elika Dadsetan, CEO and executive director of VISIONS, a non-profit that helps people and organizations navigate difficult conversations. By doing so, 'You're shifting from that parent-child relationship to an adult-adult relationship,' she says, which is healthy for everyone. 'I'm doing this to protect our relationship.' Boundaries are sometimes interpreted as rejection, Dadsetan points out, so make it a point to remind your parents that you're drawing these lines in the interest of a better, healthier relationship. You could say: 'I imagine this feels unfamiliar or scary—I just need to show up a little differently.' It can be helpful to acknowledge that the transition might be difficult, she adds, but that it will be worth it in the long term. 'Setting boundaries is an act of trust,' Dadsetan says. 'You're trusting that the relationship can evolve and improve, and just like you're trying to improve and evolve, your parents can, too, even if it takes some time.'
