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'My father and I are inseparable, but he will never put me on a pedestal': billiards world champion Sourav Kothari

In the second part of an exclusive conversation, Sourav – who recently won the IBSF World Billiards Championship – opens up on his relationship with his father and coach Manoj, a former world champion himself, and how he has changed as a person over the years. read more 'He wears his/her heart on his/her sleeve.' This is an idiom that we have all heard or read, being used, countless times for athletes – from different sporting disciplines. But honestly, it's not very often that one comes across an international level athlete, that too a World Champion, who openly displays his/her emotions. A truly no-holds barred approach to baring one's heart and soul. It's not surprising really that there aren't too many athletes out there who are willing to do this. After all, truly sharing one's deepest, mostly well-hidden emotions and feeling makes one vulnerable. Most of us aren't really comfortable doing that, let alone an athlete who has to compete on the biggest world stages, where the competition is cut-throat to say the least, and where there is no space for vulnerability or weakness. STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD Which is why I find my conversations with Sourav Kothari to be quite special. As a journalist, one is always searching for the truth – and access to the truth that exists at the heart of an athlete is a sports journalist's dream come true. The chance to go beyond the razzmatazz, beyond the headlines, beyond the big title win – a chance to scratch the surface and explore what lies beneath. In an exclusive and comprehensive interaction, Sourav – who recently won the IBSF World Billiards Championship – took me behind the scenes, as it were, to give me a look at what lies behind the world champion. A look mostly at the son and his relationship with his father. Sourav's father, Manoj Kothari is one of India's most legendary billiards players and a World Billiards champion himself (won the title in 1990 in Bangalore). He is also Sourav's coach. 'He will never put me on a pedestal and has instilled in me the importance of training,' says Sourav on about his father, who he has grown up idolising. In other words, this is also a thank you note from Sourav to his father – who has moulded his game in every which way, every step of the way. This is also a look at how Sourav has changed as a person over the last few years, how the realisation has dawned that we are not living in a utopian world and that one must fend for oneself here, most of the time. How he is picking and choosing his personal battles – the big and small things that annoy, irritate or get under the skin of the best of us – and how that has made him a calmer individual, helping him focus better on his game. STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD This is a journey into the mind of an athlete, who does indeed wear his heart on his sleeve and one who also happens to be an Indian Billiards World Champion. This is part 2 of an exclusive interview with Sourav Kothari. Firstpost: Sourav, every athlete evolves or matures with age – in different ways – we see maturity seeping into their game, into their temperament, etc. How has Sourav Kothari changed, evolved or matured with age? Sourav Kothari: I find myself to be a different person in the last three-four years, because I am picking the battles that I want to be involved in very wisely. I find that I have become a different person – in the last three-four years. I try not to get entangled in things that I feel are absolutely worthless. Earlier, I think I could be quite aggressive when someone said something I didn't like. I used to be like – 'I want to settle a score with this person, how can he say something like this? etc'. Now, over the last few years, I have realised that it's not a utopian world that we are living in. It's actually a world where you have to fend for yourself and nobody is looking out for you. I have realised that there will be naysayers, people who try to bring you down. Not just in my field, in any field. There will be people who will try to bring you down, if you are going up – it happens in corporate life, happens everywhere. STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD Billiards world champion Sourav Kothari reveals how having an 'extremely blank slate' for a mind has helped him in his game The point is that if you stop and react to everyone and everything that barks at you, then how are you ever going to move ahead? At the same time, if there's something that is robbing my peace of mind and I need to stand up for myself, I will fight for it. But I am not doing it as often as I was earlier. There are a lot of people who come and say a lot of things to me. But my father's teachings, my own life lessons have taught me that I don't need to give that kind of importance to every negative thing that comes my way. How much of it can you do? You will end up exhausting yourself. If you win a world title, there will be 200 people who will be extremely happy, but there will also be 40 people who will say things behind your back, about you. But till there is something that is really, really wrong and I need to stand up for myself, I don't react. I choose my battles wisely. And I feel that that has impacted my game, because I feel calmer. STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD I feel that there is less nonsense in my head that I have to deal with. Now, when I go to a tournament I am not thinking – 'I have to do this and that, settle a score with him and him etc.' No, my mind now is an extremely blank slate. That has really helped me. There have been players in the past with whom I have had my differences – ideological differences or antagonism over some statement they have given to the press, and I have read that and I have been fuming and furious. But those things don't bother me so much nowadays. There can be small things in our everyday lives that can put us off, but I try to stay afloat, above them. FP: Going back to your big world title win now - another very important facet of this win is that with this you emulated your father and coach, Mr. Manoj Kothari – who won this prestigious title in 1990 in Bengaluru. The only father and son duo, in any sport, to be world champions in the modern era. That must have been emotional… STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD SK: Absolutely. Not just in sport, in any profession, there are instances where the father or mother has done exceptionally well. So, there's of course a lot of expectations from the progeny and I have faced it myself. A lot of people crumble under that kind of pressure. There are many examples of progeny going into fields which their parents – father or mother – have been illustrious members of – and honestly, it's difficult to emulate that success. It boils down to expectations and constant comparisons. To navigate that and navigate the negativity, while realising your potential and talent – I think that is incredible. I feel proud that I could do that. Another very important thing that helped me do that is the fact that I am not put on a pedestal in my house. I already have a world champion in my house who has seen the pinnacle of sport. If I was born into say a business family or a service family, then being a national champion, a world champion, an Arjuna awardee, would probably make me a sort of demigod in the house. In my house – there is nothing like that. That has ensured that no success of mine has ever gone to my head. STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD FP: So, tell me, would it be fair to say that you grew up idolising your father? SK: Definitely. 100 per cent. There's one lesson that my father taught me – that I want to share with you today. About 10-12 years ago, I won a tournament. I had beaten Yasin Merchant (three-time Asian Games medallist and the second Indian after the late Omprakesh Agrawal to become a professional snooker player), a celebrated snooker player at the Bombay Gymkhana Open (in the final)– which is a very prestigious tournament – it had the highest prize money across all tournaments at that time, etc. I was a very young man then and I beat the top players in that tournament. I came back home and I was just jubilant. My father was also very happy. But I remember - I came back home in the late afternoon, at night we all sat together and celebrated a little. The next day, I didn't go for practice. I didn't want to play for the next week, 10 days, because I wanted to just rest on my laurels. My father didn't say anything that day. Then the next day, he saw me loitering around in the house and he asked me – 'what about your practice?' I said – 'what are you saying? I just won a tournament. I am not going to practice. I just want to chill and go out etc.' He said, 'Excuse me. Pick up your cue and I want to see you at the practice table today.' I told him – 'I don't have anything left in me right now to play'. STORY CONTINUES BELOW THIS AD But Akaash, you will not believe it – I had to be at the practice table. That's when I realised that we are all running against a clock. The way I am being able to play now, I will not be able to play like that after five years. Now, I am the kind of player – if I don't practice for 5 days, I will probably lose to you also. My game goes down sharply. I rely a lot on hard work and constant practice. If I take a break for a week or so, when I come back, I am absolutely clueless on the table – for at least two-three days. That's when I understood what the importance of training is. It's how you train – that makes the biggest difference. That is the most important thing. What you end up doing on the match table is actually a reflection of how you train. Sourav Kothari reiterated the importance of focus and discipline, revealing how he doesn't waste time scrolling on his mobile phone and using it only when necessary Even now, I see some top players – in practice – the moment they miss a shot, they go and sit down and they are on their mobile phones. Then the moment their opponent misses, they will keep their phone aside and start playing. Now, tell me – can you do that in a match? You can't, right? Because in a match you are not allowed to use your phone. So, what you are basically ending up doing is – you are getting yourself accustomed to a system, where if you are not at the table, you want a distraction. So, subconsciously, you are not programmed to sit and watch your opponent play for 10 minutes – something you have to do in a match. Even now, I will not be on my phone, browsing, unless it's very, very important, because I know that I am not going to be doing this in a match. These are the small things that you do in training that impact how you perform in a match. And it's my father who instilled that in me. The importance of training. Even if you are putting in two hours every day, those two hours can actually be worth eight hours, if you are utilising those two hours properly. FP: This actually reminds me - I was reading somewhere – your father gave a quote that his day is incomplete without a few frames – what are days or evenings like when you are both home and play a few frames – I am wondering what kind of conversation one might get to hear if one is a fly on the wall at one such session… SK: We don't play practice matches against each other. But twice or thrice a week I go with him to the Calcutta Club, where I totally submit myself to him – for him to train me. And the rest of the days, I train on my own. My father can be a very critical coach. And he is more of a coach than a parent. If he were sitting right next to me, and he heard me say something to you which doesn't go down well with him, or if I speak to you in a tone that he doesn't approve of, he will say something about it. He is still a parent who will try to educate his children. Not in a critical way, he will not put me down, but he will point out things which he thinks I need to improve upon. So, sitting at home, if there's a conversation that we are having about the sport – most of the things he will say will be things he thinks I can improve upon. We don't talk too much about the things that I have done well. FP: I had a lovely chat with your father some time back. Tell me a little more about your father, the coach – and the things he insists you must and must not do… SK: We have differences of opinion about whether I should practice billiards or snooker, before going for a billiards match. I personally like to practice a bit of snooker as well, as part of my training for billiards, because potting is a very, very important part of billiards, but his opinion is different. Before this World Championship, he told me – 'I don't want to even see you at the table when there are 22 snooker balls on the table. You should only and only play billiards. It should be a part of your system.' I tell him that I need to play some snooker. So, we discuss all these things. But apart from that, we watch a lot of movies together and we are, as you can imagine – very, very close to each other. We are inseparable, in many ways. I can share anything and everything with him. But he is someone who will never put me on a pedestal. FP: So, what's next for Sourav Kothari? SK: The World Games in Chengdu, China (7-17 August). That's a very, very important tournament. Only Kamal Chawla – the IBSF World 6-Red (snooker) champion and I are the ones who have got entry – nobody else from India. In the World Games, you will see the likes of Mark Selby (English professional snooker player), Ronnie O'Sullivan (English professional snooker player and seven-time World Champion), who are allowed to play that tournament. It's purely on the basis of your international performance that you get to play there and (this time) – there are only two entries from India. Sourav Kothari will be one of only two Indians in action at the World Games that will be taking place in Chengdu, China in August later this year Then there will be the WBL professional Championship in Landywood (snooker club in Great Wyrley, Walsall) England later on in the year (11-16 October) – a title I won in 2018. Then the IBSF World snooker Championship in Doha in November (the men's championship will be held in two stages: stage 1 from 3-6 November and stage 2 from 8-12 November). Then there's so much happening in India, as well – you have to pick and choose.