Latest news with #InsideIndianMarriage
Hindustan Times
12-08-2025
- General
- Hindustan Times
Husband wants to spend 1st anniversary with family, wife asks Reddit if she is wrong for being upset: ‘You are'
Wanting to celebrate special milestones in your life with your family is normal. However, there are some situations where it might get tricky. A woman on August 11 posted on the subreddit r/InsideIndianMarriage how she did not like it when her husband suggested that they spend their first wedding anniversary with their families. The woman expessed that anniversary should be an intimate affair instead of a celebration with family. (Shutterstock) Also Read | South Indian man (34) who will 'let wife wear anything, visit her parents anytime' reveals why women still reject him Is it okay to spend first wedding anniversary with family? Sharing her dilemma on Reddit, the woman wrote, 'Our first wedding anniversary is approaching soon, and while discussing a different topic, I learned that my husband wants to spend that day with both our families (as in a family dinner).' She stressed that a wedding anniversary (especially the first one) is an intimate day, and should be spent with each other privately. Though her husband agreed and mentioned that he was okay with spending the day with just the two of them together, the woman felt 'he should want it to be a private celebration' and not do it just because she was asking for it. In the end, she added, 'He says he likes to spend all celebrations with his family. I can't help but feel this is quite unromantic. Anniversaries are a very special occasion for a couple and should be celebrated between them at least in the beginning. Am I wrong?' A compromise honours emotional needs and fosters understanding instead of resentment. (Representative Image: Unsplash) Reddit reacts Many Redditors felt that communication was the key to their problem, and understanding what both want to come to a conclusive solution. Someone wrote, 'From your description, it seems like he did agree to your needs, and you're angry because he didn't have the same opinion as you in the first place. Tell him clearly that your idea of an anniversary is an intimate event between you two, and family celebrations are for other occasions like festivals or something else.' Another commented, 'I feel you are overreacting. It's okay if two individuals want different things. But upon learning that you would like to celebrate it privately he did agree. So why are you now sad? Being a husband and wife doesn't mean you have to think of things in exactly the same way.' A Reddit user advised, 'Expecting romance isn't how it works. Ask, guide, communicate, give, and take are all things that you do. It takes a while to learn each other's love languages and expectations. Not a big deal that he didn't know. He adapted, and that's what's important.' 'You're not wrong wanting your first anniversary to be just the two of you as it's about celebrating your bond If he likes family gatherings you can compromise by having a private celebration first and a family dinner another day. If he can't see why this matters it's about more than dinner it's about making space for just us moments in your marriage,' another suggested. What the couple needs is to sit down with an open mind to know each other's expectations, communicate openly about their feelings, explain why they value their way of celebration, and come to a well-thought-out understanding. A compromise honours emotional needs and fosters understanding instead of resentment. Note for readers: This article reflects the individual's account and public reactions. It is not professional advice. Readers should seek professional guidance when faced with relationship and mental health issues.
Hindustan Times
11-08-2025
- General
- Hindustan Times
South Indian man (34) who will ‘let wife wear anything, visit her parents anytime' reveals why women still reject him
A 34-year-old unmarried man from South India has taken to the internet to detail his journey through the arranged marriage process. Posted on subreddit r/InsideIndianMarriage, the man, revealing what he wants in a life partner, explained that women and their families keep rejecting him and sought Redditors' advice on what to do next. The man said that he believes modern matchmaking is 'becoming more business-like and not people-centric'. (Representative image) Also read | Just months after wedding, woman asks Reddit if she made a mistake: 'I don't wish a partner like this on anyone' Man shares why he gets rejected by women In the post shared on August 10, the man said that he believes modern matchmaking is 'becoming more business-like and not people-centric'. Sharing his personality and what he is looking for, the man wrote, 'I am looking for a person who is beyond religion, race, caste, language, location and boundaries. Born a Hindu, but I identify myself as an Omnist and an Agnostic… I accept all people without prejudice.' He describes his core relationship philosophy as rooted in the HALT principle: 'Honesty, Acceptance, Loyalty + Love, Trust + Transparency' — and insists on 'strictly no divorce' because 'it is called 'life partner' for a reason.' On parenthood, he believes in a 'no child policy', but says that he will offer his future partner three choices: 'no child, adoption, or, if she wishes so, a biological child (in that order of preference).' 'No pets, no smoking' The man says he leads a health-conscious, alcohol-free and no-smoking lifestyle, though he doesn't mind rare social drinking. He has a 'no pets' policy despite loving animals, as he prefers their freedom. His hobbies include travelling to offbeat destinations, reading extensively on history and mythology, and discussing topics 'from the smallest of the quantum world to the largest of the superclusters in the universe.' However, despite being financially stable, rejecting dowry, and keeping his expectations minimal for the wedding, he says he has faced repeated rejections. 'Families are not convinced even if I say I am planning to buy a house in the future,' he explained. Other reasons include location preferences, caste or language differences, and even horoscope mismatches — despite his family claiming to be flexible about them in love marriages. What his ideal partner looks like His ideal partner, he says, would be 'emotionally intelligent, fun-loving, and flawed but understanding of others' flaws too.' He emphasises mutual respect, equal freedom in career, and allowing freedom in clothing choices, and the importance of treating in-laws like one's own family. 'I just want to love one girl, deeply, all my life, and I expect the same from her,' he stated. In the end, he wrote, 'I am being very honest and upfront about who I am looking for…to avoid potential conflicts in the future,' urging others to give an honest opinion on his search for a partner. How did Reddit react? Redditors had different opinions on the man's take on how his future partner in an arranged marriage should be. While some criticised him for having such a long list, others advised him to treat marriage as a union, not as an Amazon checklist. Some also criticised him for 'allowing' his partner to dress as she wishes, or visit her parents whenever she wants. A Reddit user said, 'Nothing's wrong with you. Sometimes things take time, and it's better to be late than to take a wrong decision.' Another wrote, 'You just have to wait for your match…more likely to happen in love marriage than AM.' A user wrote, 'This is literally perfect, maybe go for a love marriage dude.' Someone wrote, 'Dude, if whatever you said is actually true, reach out to girls otherwise and not in AM.' Another said, 'You're looking for an enlightened partnership under the marital accord in a society full of brain-dead people and dimwits.' One user wrote, 'Your checklist is what's wrong. Not any particular item - just the length of it.' Another commented, 'Why would you mention something like won't impose on clothes? Do you see the problem in that? Or letting her visit her hometown? Do you think it's normal for men to give permission to their wives on how to dress or where to go if she wishes to?' What the man needs is to sort which qualities are on his priority list and narrow it down. Marriage isn't a checklist, and instead of defining a person by the qualities, maybe he needs to know the character of the people he is meeting. Additionally, he should keep the core values as deal-breakers but be flexible on preferences so he doesn't unintentionally filter out compatible matches. His intentions may be good, but the strict statements could sound inflexible or controlling. Note for readers: This article reflects the individual's account and public reactions. It is not professional advice. Readers should seek professional guidance when faced with relationship and mental health issues.
Hindustan Times
10-08-2025
- General
- Hindustan Times
Months after wedding, woman asks Reddit if she made a mistake: ‘I don't wish a partner like this on anyone'
A 31-year-old woman who married her longtime boyfriend just a few months ago says she already feels she may have made 'a mistake I can't undo.' Posting on subreddit r/InsideIndianMarriage for advice, she detailed a recent incident that left her questioning the future of her marriage. A woman expresses regret over her recent marriage after her husband showed disregard for her mental health. Newlywed in a dilemma about her marriage According to her account, her husband, 30, left on a work trip recently. She refrained from contacting him during his work hours but, when he called at the end of the day, she opened up about her struggles. 'I hadn't worked in four days, and I'm the kind of person who finished her pending work on the day of her wedding, so this was a big deal for me,' she said. She told him she had been feeling 'extremely low' and hoped for comfort. Instead, she says he offered only a few words before saying he was tired and going to rest. A couple of hours later, still feeling down, she texted to ask if he was awake so she could call. An hour later, she received a picture of him drinking beer with friends. 'That image broke my heart,' she said. 'All I needed was a text or a call to check on me after I told him that.' Confrontations and cold replies For the next two days, she claims, he barely checked in—sending only 'a couple of short texts, like I didn't even exist.' Hurt, she sent him a long message accusing him of treating her worse than an enemy after her confession. 'Even after I told you l've not been doing well mentally for a few days, you've treated me worse than how an enemy would treat someone after that confession. I don't wish a partner like this on anybody. I'll now treat this marriage like how I treat things that don't matter to me anymore. I hope you have a safe flight. I'll be staying home,' she wrote to him. His reply: 'Sure, I don't really have an answer to all the big words thrown in there. Wishing you well.' She says that since he returned from his trip two days ago, he has not called or texted her. 'It's like I don't matter at all,' she wrote, adding that she had entered the marriage full of excitement, even planning to mark each monthly anniversary with a gift or gesture. 'I told him I don't expect gifts from you, just a rose, or even a note OR just an acknowledgement would be enough,' she recalled. 'He laughed it off.' Now, she says, she feels 'like I'm in this marriage alone' and wonders if her soulmate is still out there. 'If your partner doesn't even care about your mental health and is so avoidant after telling him I'm depressed, is it worth staying in this marriage?' she asked. 'I feel like I have to hold all my love back now because it's being wasted… If I didn't have people in my life who'd be heartbroken, I'd walk out of this marriage today without even thinking twice.' Strong relationships are built on care, communication, and effort. Reactions on Reddit The post has sparked debate, with many readers urging her to reflect on whether her needs can realistically be met in the relationship. Multiple people asked her how long she dated the man before marriage and she said a year. 'How long did you two date before getting married? Some men just want a stamp of marriage to look noble in the eyes of society. They usually have a girl on the side. He was probably mirroring your love back to you which is why you got married to him, now that he knows you're here to stay he's taken you for granted. Dating and marrying a man especially if you're a financially independent woman in this day and age is like self harm. Maybe talk it out? Don't go silent. Fight over it if you have to,' wrote a person. Another person gave their own example: 'My ex was also emotionally unavailable man . He was available for others except me. I tried a lot ,he wasted my 6 years and married with another girl without even telling me. GOD saved me.' A person suggested they should opt for marriage counselling. 'Some people are not emotional. They live a practical life and don't understand the sensitivity. We can't do anything about it. I have seen such men around me who just want a wife for the sake of family or society or his physical intimacy. They don't connect or love the wife. Don't know the reason. It's better you both go for counseling,' they wrote. 'I think you married a Narc they love bomb at first and then suck up all your love and happiness once you settle. Later only do bread crumbing bare minimum for you to stay till you are longing for love he tries in a small gesture and u again give it another chance. They prey on perfect loving women and bring them down to darkness. Kindly run as soon and as fast as possible because he is not your soul mate. How can one be a soul mate when he can't even be an emotional mate,' wrote another. As many suggested, the rude disregard for her feelings by the husband does not bode well for this relationship. The first step for the couple after this episode should definitely be marriage counselling, followed by an assessment of why does he not care to ask after his wife. If love is lost, perhaps walking their separate ways would be better option for both. Note for readers: This article reflects the individual's account and public reactions. It is not professional advice. Readers should seek professional guidance when faced with relationship and mental health issues.
