Latest news with #IntegrativePsych
Yahoo
6 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
The Brutal Things Couples Say In Fights That Leave Scars For Years
Fights are inevitable in relationships, but some words hit so deep they leave scars that never really fade. These aren't the dramatic slams or the cliches—you expect those. These are the quiet assassins: the phrases that seem small in the moment but crack the foundation of trust, love, and safety. This is the ultimate threat in a fight—the suggestion that they're *settling* for you. It plants a seed of doubt that can grow into resentment, insecurity, and constant comparison. According to Integrative Psych, statements that undermine a partner's self-worth can have lasting negative effects on intimacy and trust. Even if they don't mean it, it becomes a haunting thought: Am I not enough? That question poisons the relationship. This line cuts deep because it dismisses the other person's feelings as selfishness. It says, 'Your emotions aren't valid—they're just ego.' Over time, it erodes a person's confidence in expressing themselves. As noted by Psych Central, emotional invalidation can make people feel unseen and unheard, damaging the core of connection. It's not just a criticism—it's an accusation that they're inherently self-centered. And once said, it lingers in the air every time they open up. Love can survive fights, but *not liking* someone? That's a dagger. It makes your partner question their worth in the relationship—are they lovable only when they're easy? As Verywell Mind points out, feeling disliked by a partner can trigger deep insecurity and anxiety. This isn't just a heat-of-the-moment comment—it's a fracture in how safe they feel being fully themselves. It leaves them walking on eggshells. This line feels personal because it drags in family baggage they didn't sign up for. It's an indirect way of saying, 'Your worst traits aren't even yours—they're inherited.' It's not just an insult—it's a multi-generational wound. As Psychology Today highlights, comparing your partner to their parents can be deeply hurtful and lead to long-term resentment. It makes people feel trapped in a cycle they can't control. And it's a comparison they'll never forget. This phrase gaslights your partner's emotions, framing them as the problem. It makes them feel like they're 'too much' and that their feelings aren't valid. It's a dismissal, not a conversation. Over time, it silences people—making them second-guess whether they're allowed to feel anything at all. This is an existential grenade. It doesn't just attack the moment—it questions the entire relationship. Once that thought is out there, it's impossible to un-hear. It plants a quiet insecurity that lingers long after the fight ends. You can apologize, but you can't un-say it. This line diminishes and invalidates your partner's feelings in one shot. It frames them as irrational, overreacting, and emotionally unstable. It's not a disagreement—it's a character judgment. Once someone feels like they're 'too much' for you, they stop trusting you with their real emotions. That's a slow death for intimacy. This sweeping generalization turns a single argument into an attack on their entire personality. It traps them in a pattern they can't escape—no matter what they do, they're 'always' wrong. It's a form of emotional cornering. They'll feel like they can never win, so why even try? This comment is a subtle way of stripping away your partner's agency. It's belittling, dismissive, and designed to make them feel small. Even if you think you're pointing out immaturity, you're actually creating distance. No one wants to feel parented by their partner. It shifts the dynamic from equal to unequal—and that's corrosive. Throwing the relationship itself on the table during a fight is a power move that destabilizes everything. It says, 'I could walk away at any time, and you should fear that.' It turns conflict into a negotiation for survival. This threat becomes a shadow over every future disagreement. It erodes trust, because now the floor can drop out at any moment. This statement flips the narrative entirely, positioning one person as inherently better, more valuable, or more desirable. It's not just a criticism—it's an assertion of superiority. It makes the other person feel small, unworthy, and replaceable. That's a wound that lingers long after the fight is over. Comparing your partner to someone else—an ex, a friend, or even a celebrity—is a punch to the gut. It says, 'You're not enough as you are, and here's who you *should* be.' It makes them feel like they're competing in a game they can't win. It's a form of emotional sabotage. And it's almost impossible to recover from fully. This is the ultimate blame-shift. It puts the entire weight of the relationship's struggles on one person's shoulders, absolving the other of any responsibility. It's not just an insult—it's a verdict. That kind of scapegoating is a relationship-killer. It makes your partner feel like there's no room for growth—only blame.
Yahoo
11-05-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
Forget brain training to improve your memory — getting the right amount of sleep at the right time is more effective
When you buy through links on our articles, Future and its syndication partners may earn a commission. Our memories are valuable, yet they aren't always reliable. What we remember — and what we forget — often feels random, and it can be disappointing when our memory seems to let us down. While many people turn to brain training exercises in the hope of sharpening their memory, research shows these methods offer limited benefits. A more effective — and often overlooked — strategy is simply getting consistent, high-quality sleep. Great news for those who'd rather catch some extra rest than spend hours on memory is because certain sleep stages play a vital role in processing and storing the information and experiences we accumulate throughout the day. To explore just how essential sleep is for memory, we spoke with Dr. Ryan Sultan, MD, psychiatrist and Research Director at Integrative Psych, to explain how it works. We also asked Dr George Dragoi, Associate Professor of Neuroscience at Yale School of Medicine, for his top tips to get better sleep for better memory. Sealy Posturepedic Elite Hybrid: Getting the sleep you need improves a litany of issues, but you can't get that sleep if you're waking up stiff and sore. The targeted support of a Sealy Posturepedic® Elite Hybrid mattress helps provide relief where you need it most. This bed flexes to your unique shape, making sure you find the personalized support you need to perform your best in the Deal Without sleep, our brain doesn't have the time to process and consolidate the information we've learned during the day. 'One way sleep improves memory is by helping the brain solidify new information, which can also be called memory consolidation,' says Dr. Sultan. 'When you learn something during the day- say, study for a test or practice a skill — your brain initially stores that memory in a fragile state,' he explains. Sleeping after learning is like hitting the 'save' button 'Sleeping after learning is like hitting the 'save' button: during sleep, the brain replays and strengthens those new memories so they stick around.' Alongside this, he says that sleep doesn't only consolidate memory, but it makes them more stable and easier to recall later. 'For example, people tend to remember word lists or motor skills better after a night of sleep (or even a short nap) compared to an equivalent period spent awake,' he says. Every night, we cycle through different stages of sleep. The sleep cycle includes REM sleep, deep sleep and light sleep. This is broken up into N1, N2, N3 and REM sleep. Each stage plays an important role in our physical and mental health, including our memory. N3 is deep or slow wave sleep. 'During N3, the brain exhibits synchronized neural firing, and this is when the heavy lifting of memory consolidation occurs for facts and events (what scientists call declarative memory), Dr. Sultan explains' 'Studies have shown that if this stage is disrupted, people perform worse on tests of recall for things like word pairs or spatial tasks.' But it's not just deep sleep that's essential for memory. 'REM sleep plays an important role in emotional memory consolidation,' the doctor explains. REM sleep is when we experience vivid dreams and these can help us process experiences and feelings. 'It's good to cope with difficult emotions by processing them in a safe environment,' he adds. So, how do we make sure we get quality sleep? We asked Dr. Dragoi to give us his top sleep tips to improve memory. Our energy levels are controlled by our internal body clock, which is called the circadian rhythm. This regulates the release of certain hormones like melatonin (the sleepy hormone) and cortisol (the hormone released in the mornings to wake us.) A well-regulated circadian rhythm means you'll find it easier to fall asleep and stay asleep, experiencing enough time in each restorative sleep stage. So how can you regulate it? 'Going to sleep at about the same time every day and avoiding napping at later hours in the day,' says Dr. Dragoi. A consistent sleep schedule is key to ensuring your body clock functions as it should. Most adults need around 7-9 hours of sleep. This will ensure you have enough time to experience multiple full sleep cycles, key to consolidating memory. 'Maintaining a 7–9-hour overnight sleep daily with all sleep phases naturally present would have benefits for memory encoding and consolidation,' says Dr. Dragoi. However, it's important to remember that everyone is different. Some people will feel refreshed after 6 hours and others will need more. Studies have also recently revealed that sleep quality is more important than quantity, so don't worry if you can't quite squeeze a 9 hour sleep into your busy schedule. Sleep hygiene refers to the habits we have that impact our sleep, as well as the environment we sleep in. 'Some other ways to improve sleep for our memory and cognitive life are to avoid exposure to light (particularly blue light) 30 min before going to bed, maintain a lower room and body temperature throughout sleep,' Dr. Dragoi says. You should also 'avoid consumption of heavy food, alcohol, and brain stimulants in the late evening,' he adds. On top of this, ensure your environment is conducive to sleep. Invest in the best mattress for your sleep needs and the consider what the best pillow for your sleep position is. If you find yourself fatigued during the day, your memory is probably suffering. 'Sleep deprivation not only leaves memories fragile but also damages working memory ability and attention (these are essential for forming new memories,)' Dr. Sultan says. Sleep deprivation not only leaves memories fragile but also damages working memory ability and attention If you've missed out on a few hours, you're probably fine. But serious sleep deprivation can impact your health and ability to form memories massively. 'Very sleep-deprived people often experience attention lapses or 'microsleeps' (brief involuntary dozes). During those moments, if information is presented, it won't be remembered because the brain essentially wasn't 'online' to receive it,' he explains. Similarly, sleep disorders can be detrimental to our memory. 'For instance, older adults with untreated sleep apnea (a condition causing frequent breathing interruptions and awakenings) often report memory and concentration problems.' If you think insomnia or sleep apnea might be harming your memory, speak to a health professional to discuss a treatment solution.
Yahoo
23-02-2025
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
Mom-Shamers Are Up in Arms Over Jeannie Mai's Video of Her Kissing Her Daughter Monaco's Lips & Fans Are Coming to Her Defense
Jeannie Mai's latest, sweet video with daughter Monaco has parent-shamers up in arms, since she kissed her daughter on the lips. On Feb 21, Mai shared a video of herself and her daughter Monaco promoting a skincare regimen. She shared the video with the caption reading, 'Pores? We don't know her. I've never seen my skin THIS smooth guys 😳 The combo of hyaluronic acid and niacinamide in my foundation gave me porcelain perfection 😌 The powder has hyaluronic acid too! My 3 favorites for a full face for under $95! Use code JEANNIE10 for an additional 10% off @politesocietybeauty #politesocietypartner #politesociety.' And while we love a good skincare staple, people were mostly focused about the first few seconds of the post. More from SheKnows Jeannie Mai's Touching Photos With Daughter Monaco Show a New Side to Her: 'Motherhood Isn't Just About Raising Her' In the video, Mai says, 'Let's see if this is really transfer resistant,' to which she kisses Monaco on the mouth, and parent-shamers are having a field day. (We're rolling our eyes over it all too, don't worry!) Parent-shamers tried to shame Mai for kissing her daughter, saying things like: 'I don't like when adults kiss babies/toddlers in the mouth. That's not nice. Kiss them on the cheek, forehead hand whatever, but not in the mouth,' and 'Babe love you so much , please stop kissing your baby , we as adults have such bad habits and things that we put in our around our mouths, ew.' And this is when so many of her fans came to her defense, with one fan saying it perfectly: 'Imagine going to a stranger in the grocery store and saying that to them not to kiss their own child. Unless if you have a personal relationship with Jeannie and even then I don't tell my friends what to do with their kiddos.' Say it louder for the people in the back! Parents kissing their children on the lips has been a hot-button topic for years, with many being split when celebrities do it. Integrative Psych notes that kissing on the lips helps secure attachment, which is all about providing a strong emotional bond with caregivers. Along with that, it helps children learn how to model affection (but experts did keep in mind to help them understand boundaries)! For those who don't know, back in Jan. 2022, Mai and her ex-husband Jeezy welcomed their daughter Monaco Mai-Jenkins into the world. During a Nov 2022 interview with PEOPLE, Mai said, 'I used to be, well, I still am a boss, I can get it done by myself, but I ain't that bossy by myself as a mom, I need help.' She added, 'I need my mom giving me advice, I need all the other moms around this area to tell me what you do with a 10-month-old. Every other week there's some new thing that comes up with her that I got to ask and check about and I call, I listen to my friends and my pediatrician before I listen to the internet or Google. So, I've learned that you really need that village.'Best of SheKnows You'll Be Reeling in the Compliments With These Pisces-Perfect Baby Names Recent Baby & Toddler Product Recalls Every Parent and Caregiver Should Know About These Celebrity Dads Paused Their Careers to Stay Home With Their Kids
Associated Press
16-02-2025
- Entertainment
- Associated Press
Columbia Psychiatrist Dr. Ryan Sultan to Feature in TLC's 'The Baldwins'
02/16/2025, New York, New York // PRODIGY: Feature Story // Integrative Psych is proud to announce its involvement in the highly anticipated TV show, The Baldwins, which premieres on February 23, 2025. The show, which follows the lives of the well-known Baldwin family, will feature Integrative Psych's own Dr. Ryan Sultan, MD, a board-certified psychiatrist and professor at Columbia University. Dr. Sultan will appear in two episodes (airing March 9 and March 16) as a family therapist, providing professional insight and guidance to Alec and Hilaria Baldwin during a pivotal moment in their lives. The storyline will focus on the family's journey following the tragic incident on a movie set, where Alec Baldwin accidentally killed someone. Dr. Sultan's role in the show highlights the importance of mental health and family therapy in navigating complex and challenging situations. 'We are honored to be part of such a powerful and impactful project,' said Dr. Ryan Sultan. 'This is an opportunity to shed light on the importance of mental health and the role of therapy in healing and growth, especially in the face of public scrutiny and personal tragedy.' The show's producers have worked closely with Integrative Psych to ensure that the portrayal of therapy and ment al health is both respectful and accurate. Key moments, such as the inclusion of Dr. Sultan's professional insights and the framing of the therapy sessions, have been carefully crafted to reflect the real-life complexities of the Baldwin family's experience. The Baldwins airs weekly, starting February 23, 2025, and will be available on TLC Channel and Max Streaming. Episodes three and four feature Dr. Ryan Sultan, who brings his expertise and compassion to one of the most talked-about families in American show business.
Yahoo
28-01-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
How young is too young to have a smartphone? 5 of the biggest parenting questions about smartphones, answered.
Smartphones are an everyday part of our culture, but research on the effects of screen time might give parents pause when it comes to giving their children one of their own. Even so, smartphones allow parents to reach their children in an emergency, students to access educational materials at the stroke of a finger, and kids to find community, especially when peers of certain identity groups may be hard to find locally. Of course, with each benefit comes a new digital risk. Parents must manage to keep their children safe while they're online. Monitoring their child's content consumption is also important to ensure their phones don't interrupt their sleep, which can induce added stress, or impact their socialization—not to mention potential impacts on their childhood and imagination. Spokeo reviewed academic research from Stanford University and other institutions and survey data to help answer some of the most pressing questions facing parents considering when to give their children a smartphone. For Dr. Ryan Sultan, an adult and child psychiatrist and the medical director of Integrative Psych in Manhattan, the most important thing parents can do is show children what a healthy relationship with digital devices looks like. "Model behavior that you want them to be doing," Sultan told Stacker. "So use your phone at the times that you think it is appropriate—use it for the appropriate things. If you want them to be doing things other than using their phone, then you have to get that going with them. You have to be doing those things with them." Teaching healthy behaviors, however, can take time. "For younger children, it's best to delay personal phone ownership until they demonstrate readiness for boundaries that prioritize their sleep and health," said Dr. Lizzie Benge, a sleep medicine physician and faculty member at Harvard Medical School's Division of Sleep and Circadian Disorders, in an email to Stacker. A Stanford Medicine study found that when children reach 10 years old, the number of their peers who acquire their first phone increases rapidly until about age 12.5. The average age at which a child receives their first phone is 11.6. By the time American children become teens, nearly all (95%) have access to a phone, according to the Pew Research Center. There isn't a clear answer to when a child should get a phone, according to Sultan, but the age continues to rise. "Thirteen is when I would consider giving my kid a phone, for parents who are worried about locating their child all the time," Sultan said. From a sleep perspective, Benge said children younger than 12 haven't learned how to regulate their phone use responsibly. "Introducing phones too early, particularly before middle school, can disrupt sleep cycles due to blue light exposure, which suppresses melatonin production and delays sleep onset." Sultan suggests allowing supervised screen time until a parent officially gives their child a phone or using smartwatches that allow texting and phone calls but not social media. Even though smart devices can help families communicate and locate each other, Sultan does not recommend giving children access to social media. "The concern we have with social media is that it was designed to pull you in and keep you in it," he said. "And it's still designed that way, giving you essentially a dopamine hit, which is similar to addiction. We also know that kids' brains are more prone to the circuit of addiction because they're not as developed." Experts suggest setting clear boundaries based on family values before handing children their first phones. Additionally, it is recommended to set parental controls on the device and make sure children know they must ask permission to download new apps. It can also be helpful to set guidelines for all family members, such as no screens during dinner or turning off notifications while doing homework. Benge also suggested implementing a no-phone policy one to two hours before bed, a centralized charging station in a common area to keep phones outside of bedrooms at night, and daily screen time limits. Protecting a child's privacy can start before they're even given a phone. Sheryl Ziegler, a licensed clinical child psychologist, suggests parents adjust the device's privacy and security settings beforehand. Benge also recommends parents talk to their children about the risks of sharing personal information online, using parental controls to help avoid inappropriate apps or content, and "maintaining open communication about online behavior to foster trust and reduce the mental burden of secrecy or fear." Although Sultan recommends keeping children off social media for as long as possible, if a parent feels their child is ready, he suggests starting their account with limited functionality intended for younger individuals. Additionally, Instagram, for example, now has teen accounts for people aged 13 to 17 that automatically set their account to private and don't allow private messages from people they're not connected to. While children don't have any legal rights to privacy online from their parents, there still is a line to toe. Each family can determine the extent of parental monitoring based on each child's needs. "If you think your child might be the victim of a predator, is having suicidal thoughts, or has a drug addiction, then monitoring the child's communication and devices seems like an obvious step towards protecting them," Elizabeth Burke, a child advocate attorney, said in a 2020 interview with the nonprofit childhood independence organization Let Grow. "The trickier area is things like is your child being bullied or bullying other kids on social media?" Additionally, if you're giving your child an iPhone, when you set up the phone, you can use features like Screen Time to limit and monitor how much time they spend using the device. You can also set content restrictions by age and prevent app store and in-app purchases. For Android phones, parents can set up a Google account for their child with Family Link, which allows them to set screen limits. Apps like Qustodio also allow parents to monitor how their child uses their phone, as well as control screen limits. As an extra layer of parental monitoring, Sultan suggests having children under 16 share their passwords with their parents. Story editing by Shanna Kelly. Copy editing by Paris Close. Photo selection by Lacy Kerrick. This story originally appeared on Spokeo and was produced and distributed in partnership with Stacker Studio.
