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New York Times
25-02-2025
- Entertainment
- New York Times
Late Night Laughs at DOGE's Work Force Demand
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night's highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. Return to Sender On Saturday, Elon Musk emailed federal employees and asked them to respond with their top five accomplishments during the previous workweek or risk being fired. 'It's like the government is being run by BuzzFeed,' Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday. 'It's not just that they're firing thousands of federal workers; it is the glee with which they're firing. Ordinarily, you have some compassion when you lay people off — you wish them well, you thank them for their work. Not MAGA. Not the DOGE Bros.' — JIMMY KIMMEL 'Federal workers who got this email had no idea what to do, and their Trump administration bosses didn't seem to know, either. New Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard told personnel at spy agencies not to respond. F.B.I. Director Kash Patel told F.B.I. staff to pause any responses, and Health and Human Services Secretary RFK Jr. sent out an email saying, 'Free roadkill in the break room!'' — STEPHEN COLBERT 'Our federal work force is in the clutches of a heartless billionaire who wants to colonize Mars with vehicles shaped like his penis, by which I mean Cybertrucks. He should see a doctor.' — STEPHEN COLBERT 'I mean, seriously, if that guy walked into your office and told you he was there to start making cuts, everybody would jump on him and put him in a headlock, right? You'd zip-tie him and hold him until the cops showed up.' — JIMMY KIMMEL The Punchiest Punchlines (Five Things I Did Last Week Edition) 'Well, guys, I'm having an odd day. This morning I got an email from NBC asking what I accomplished last week.' — JIMMY FALLON 'Yep, they need to respond with five accomplishments from the last week. Federal workers wrote back: 'I received this email, I opened this email, I read this email, I laughed at this email, and I deleted this email.'' — JIMMY FALLON 'He followed up by tweeting, 'Failure to respond will be taken as a resignation.' Now, obviously, the only proper email response to that is: 'What did I do last week? Your mom, your mom, your mom, your mom, and your mom.' — STEPHEN COLBERT 'Of course, the workers were furious, mostly about getting a work email on a Saturday.' — JIMMY FALLON The Bits Worth Watching Jon Oliver scrutinized Facebook's new posting policies on Sunday's episode of 'Last Week Tonight.' What We're Excited About on Tuesday Night The 'St. Denis Medical' star Wendi McLendon-Covey will sit down with Desi Lydic on Tuesday's 'The Daily Show.' Also, Check This Out A new Leigh Bowery exhibition at Tate Modern will introduce the artist's work to a broader audience.
New York Times
13-02-2025
- Entertainment
- New York Times
It's Bring a Kid to Work Day on ‘The Tonight Show'
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night's highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now. Don't Touch My Chicken Nuggets On Tuesday, Elon Musk brought his 4-year-old son to the Oval Office for an appearance with President Trump. So on Wednesday, Jimmy Fallon walked onto the 'Tonight Show' set with a little boy on his shoulders. 'Daddy has to do a monologue,' Fallon said as he let the boy down. 'Elon Musk and President Trump held a press conference in the Oval Office, and they were joined by Elon's 4-year-old son. Don Jr. was, like, 'Wait a minute, my dad said there's no such thing as Take Your Son to Work Day.' — JIMMY FALLON 'Trump was looking at him like, '[imitating Trump] Don't you dare touch my dinosaur chicken nuggets.'' — JIMMY FALLON 'Eventually they bonded, though. While Elon was talking, they both watched an episode of 'Bluey' on an iPad.' — JIMMY FALLON 'I mean, that poor kid. His dad literally runs Space X, and Elon took him to a meeting on federal spending.' — JORDAN KLEPPER The Punchiest Punchlines (From Russia With Love Edition) 'President Trump spoke today with Russian president Vladimir Putin on the phone. And, bad news, you guys, we gotta change the name of the gulf again.' — SETH MEYERS 'In a post on Truth Social today, President Trump said that he spoke with Russian president Vladimir Putin and discussed Ukraine, the Middle East, energy, artificial intelligence, the power of the dollar, Moo Deng, Sydney Sweeney, the return of the Shamrock Shake and this season of 'The Traitors.' '[imitating Trump] We got off track towards the end of the call. We got a little off track.'' — SETH MEYERS 'President Trump said that he had a nice phone call with Vladimir Putin. Putin was like, '[imitating Putin] I told you I wouldn't forget Valentine's Day.'' — JIMMY FALLON 'The only awkward part of the call was when Putin said, 'Is the president there?' and both Trump and Elon said, 'Yes?'' — JIMMY FALLON The Bits Worth Watching Jimmy Kimmel's sidekick Guillermo pitched his exciting new crypto venture on 'Jimmy Kimmel Live.' What We're Excited About on Thursday Night Harper Steele, the former 'Saturday Night Live' writer and star (with Will Ferrell) of 'Will & Harper,' will appear on 'Late Night with Seth Meyers.' Also, Check This Out The Bancroft Library at the University of California, Berkeley, has acquired the archives of Amy Tan, author of 'The Joy Luck Club,' who's changed her mind about having her papers destroyed posthumously. 'My 22-year-old mind is thrilled: Accepted into Berkeley!' she said.
