Late Night Laughs at DOGE's Work Force Demand
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night's highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Return to Sender
On Saturday, Elon Musk emailed federal employees and asked them to respond with their top five accomplishments during the previous workweek or risk being fired.
'It's like the government is being run by BuzzFeed,' Jimmy Kimmel said on Monday.
'It's not just that they're firing thousands of federal workers; it is the glee with which they're firing. Ordinarily, you have some compassion when you lay people off — you wish them well, you thank them for their work. Not MAGA. Not the DOGE Bros.' — JIMMY KIMMEL
'Federal workers who got this email had no idea what to do, and their Trump administration bosses didn't seem to know, either. New Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard told personnel at spy agencies not to respond. F.B.I. Director Kash Patel told F.B.I. staff to pause any responses, and Health and Human Services Secretary RFK Jr. sent out an email saying, 'Free roadkill in the break room!'' — STEPHEN COLBERT
'Our federal work force is in the clutches of a heartless billionaire who wants to colonize Mars with vehicles shaped like his penis, by which I mean Cybertrucks. He should see a doctor.' — STEPHEN COLBERT
'I mean, seriously, if that guy walked into your office and told you he was there to start making cuts, everybody would jump on him and put him in a headlock, right? You'd zip-tie him and hold him until the cops showed up.' — JIMMY KIMMEL
The Punchiest Punchlines (Five Things I Did Last Week Edition)
'Well, guys, I'm having an odd day. This morning I got an email from NBC asking what I accomplished last week.' — JIMMY FALLON
'Yep, they need to respond with five accomplishments from the last week. Federal workers wrote back: 'I received this email, I opened this email, I read this email, I laughed at this email, and I deleted this email.'' — JIMMY FALLON
'He followed up by tweeting, 'Failure to respond will be taken as a resignation.' Now, obviously, the only proper email response to that is: 'What did I do last week? Your mom, your mom, your mom, your mom, and your mom.' — STEPHEN COLBERT
'Of course, the workers were furious, mostly about getting a work email on a Saturday.' — JIMMY FALLON
The Bits Worth Watching
Jon Oliver scrutinized Facebook's new posting policies on Sunday's episode of 'Last Week Tonight.'
What We're Excited About on Tuesday Night
The 'St. Denis Medical' star Wendi McLendon-Covey will sit down with Desi Lydic on Tuesday's 'The Daily Show.'
Also, Check This Out
A new Leigh Bowery exhibition at Tate Modern will introduce the artist's work to a broader audience.
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