Latest news with #JamesParker
Atlantic
22-07-2025
- Health
- Atlantic
Dear James: I Want to Be a Better Loser
Editor's Note: Is anything ailing, torturing, or nagging at you? Are you beset by existential worries? Every Tuesday, James Parker tackles readers' questions. Tell him about your lifelong or in-the-moment problems at [email protected]. Don't want to miss a single column? Sign up to get 'Dear James' in your inbox. Dear James, I've been a lifelong participant in various recreational sports. Candidly, I'm not a great athlete, but I've always been enthusiastic. Now, in my late 50s, I've gotten especially serious about tennis. Sometimes, I play five times a week. I've committed to improving and have taken group and individual lessons. I play in competitive United States Tennis Association leagues specific to my age and ability, and play pickup games whenever I can. But I realize that when I play competitively, I have a negative, lingering, outsize reaction to losing. When I lose, I try to reframe it less as a defeat and more as What did I learn today? Yet my mind leads me back to despair and rumination on my mistakes. Logically, I know that if I were to win these competitions, I would most likely be bumped up to the next level. And at that point, I would probably be the weakest player in a higher level of competition—leading right back, with even more frequency, to despair. Some athletes joyfully stick with their sports for a lifetime and don't seem to be derailed by losing. What am I missing? How can I develop a healthier relationship to defeat? Dear Reader, I don't think you're missing anything. We all lose in the end—that's the second law of thermodynamics. And every intervening loss, be it in business, love, or tennis, simply reminds us of this elemental fact. Is it even possible to have a healthy relationship with losing? I'm not sure it is, any more than it's possible to have a healthy relationship with food poisoning. Certain human experiences simply resist philosophy. My grandfather, who had an ego like a piece of Roman statuary, enjoyed a game of chess. Especially in his final years: late-night, booze-fueled and booze-fuddled, with the occasional, accidental knocking-over of pieces. He enjoyed it—if he won. If he didn't win, he would take it as a melancholy comment on his old age, as evidence that his mind was going at last. And then he would slump, and brood loudly upon his failing faculties. So, as his opponent, you had to lose. But you couldn't lose too easily or obviously; fuzzy as he was, he would pick up on that. You had to lose while looking as if you were trying to win. (It often fell to my brother, a teenager at the time and—luckily for my grandfather—an excellent chess player, to perform this complex operation.) What's my point? Good question. I think my point is that losing is never just losing. In your case, losing at tennis connects to what? An ever-present and not particularly welcome sense of your limitations as a player? A whisper of advancing decrepitude? Some other, deeper, darker thing? When I lose, I feel like the cosmos is against me. And I'm right. So forget about being a good loser. Work on the comeback: That's my advice. Doomed as we may be to entropy, we humans also possess nearly idiotic capacities for self-renewal. We bounce back! Soak up the gall of losing, absorb the horrible information, feel it to the full, go there—and then rebound, with superb elasticity. Save your energy for that.
RNZ News
25-06-2025
- RNZ News
Northland paedophile James Parker's jail time extended after new victim comes forward
By Shannon Pitman, Open Justice reporter of Northland paedophile James Parker. Photo: RNZ/Peter de Graaf WARNING: This article discusses sexual abuse and may be upsetting to some readers. A convicted paedophile and former school deputy principal, who was on the verge of being released, has had his sentence upped after another victim came forward. James Parker's latest offending has been described as more serious, a judge noting it had a "sadistic flavour" and was "predatory and certainly controlling". The seven charges relate to two young boys he sexually violated between 2009 and 2011 - even using a Taser so one would do as he was told. Parker, 50, appeared in the Whangārei District Court on Wednesday for sentencing but his final sentence posed significant issues. In 2013 Parker was handed a sentence in the High Court at Whangārei of preventive detention with a minimum period of imprisonment (MPI) of seven years for offending he committed while teaching at Pamapuria School in the Far North. Complaints began to surface about Parker's behaviour in 2009 which went nowhere but he was given a police warning that he should stop having boys stay at his home. By 2012, after mounting complaints, Parker was arrested and the principal was eventually sacked for failing to ensure the safety of the students. Parker admitted to 74 charges of child sexual abuse on 20 boys between 1999 and 2012. The youngest was nine years old. It was revealed Parker used his trusted position in the rural community to host sleepovers with boys, many of whom had disruptive home lives. There were at least 300 known sexual incidents in what the Crown said at the time was "without comparison in New Zealand history". The court heard the latest victims were also offended against during the same time period. As was often the case, he had the boys sleep over and sexually violated both of them, one specifically. Parker has been in prison for 12 years and first came up for parole five years ago, but has been declined four times. Much of Wednesday's sentencing discussion centred around the difficulty of determining how many more years he must now serve before being eligible again for parole. Over the past decade multiple reports have been completed on Parker and the Parole Board was recently considering the possibility of guided release into the community. 'The comments are concerning' Crown lawyer Richard Annandale submitted, had these charges been before the court in 2013, Parker would have likely had an MPI of 10 years. Annandale was critical of Parker's level of remorse after Parker mentioned previously he could not remember these victims. "The comments are the concerning aspect in a way that he justified or minimised the behaviour, whether he remembers it or not," Annandale submitted. "When one's considering an end sentence, parole eligibility should not be before three years." Parker's lawyer Steve Cullen submitted a statement from Parker that he was deeply aware of the harm he had caused. Parker said through his lawyer he was concerned about the impact of media coverage on his previous victims and referenced none had gone on to the victims' notification registrar. "He thought perhaps they wanted to put it behind them and move on and not hear about any more," Cullen submitted. Cullen also submitted the requirements of Corrections meant Parker was not able to access rehabilitation until his seven-year MPI had been reached. Cullen said a new MPI would restrict his rehabilitation and the process would have to start again. "It's wrong, but it's what the prison does ... It's absolutely futile," Cullen said. 'Significantly sadistic flavour' Judge Gene Tomlinson said the latest charges had a difference from others. "The indecencies of [suppressed] are in my assessment, and indeed, have a more serious and significantly sadistic flavour. "Certainly predatory and certainly controlling, which I did not detect in the sentencing notes of Justice Heath when recounting your offending in 2013." Judge Tomlinson said the impact on the victims was extreme, robbing them of a full life because of his predatory behaviour. He acknowledged Parker's early guilty plea but said with his prior history, he had no chance of winning. Parker was sentenced to eight years and six months' imprisonment with no MPI. "In the circumstances you present, I am satisfied the usual time frame for seeking parole on a sentence such as eight-and-a-half-years is entirely appropriate in the circumstances when balanced against all of the factors in your case." As Parker's new prison term begins this week, he will be eligible for parole after serving one third of his sentence. If it is an emergency and you feel like you or someone else is at risk, call 111. - This story originally appeared in the New Zealand Herald
Irish Examiner
23-06-2025
- Business
- Irish Examiner
Cork-based services company Org Group acquires Brussels-based firm
Cork-based services firm Org Group has announced it has acquired Brussels-based European workforce solutions firm Enterprise Digital Resources (EDR). Org Group said the acquisition strengthened and expanded its access to a 'network of high-skilled consultants at a time when businesses are accelerating digital transformation and facing heightened talent demands'. Financial details of the acquisition have not been disclosed. EDR provides specialised tech staff to clients in countries across Europe including France, Belgium, UK, and Ireland. It focuses on areas such as enterprise resource planning, human capital management, enterprise performance management, as well as customer relationship management. Org Group chief executive Seb O'Connell said EDR's deep domain expertise was a 'natural fit for Org Group'. 'This complements our capacity to deliver impactful digital and organisational transformation through the right mix of strategy, systems, and people.' Org Group is the holding company for Irish-owned recruitment firm Morgan McKinley, business process services company Abtran, and advisory firm Org. The group employs 3,000 people in 10 countries. EDR director James Parker said Org Group 'shares our belief that skills and talent are the engine behind successful transformation'. 'Joining the group enables us to scale our impact and support more organisations in navigating the future of enterprise technology.' Last month, the company also acquired global technology recruiting business Venturi. Venturi is headquartered in Manchester, with offices in New York, USA and Düsseldorf, Germany. Its clients include Red Kite, Bet 365, and Money Supermarket. The company has annual revenues of about £40m (€47.5m).
Atlantic
17-06-2025
- Health
- Atlantic
Dear James: Do I Need to Share My Diagnosis?
Editor's Note: Is anything ailing, torturing, or nagging at you? Are you beset by existential worries? Every Tuesday, James Parker tackles readers' questions. Tell him about your lifelong or in-the-moment problems at dearjames@ Don't want to miss a single column? Sign up to get 'Dear James' in your inbox. Dear James, After a series of unsettling events, including what I (falsely) believed was a hit-and-run—a belief that had me Googling 'hit and run' and sent me into a tailspin, convinced that the police were after me—I was diagnosed with a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder characterized by mostly mental (rather than physical) compulsions. Now, with medication and therapy, I've started revisiting the neurotic behaviors I've lived with for most of my life, like the year I was convinced I had HIV until a friend, tired of hearing about it, dragged me to get tested, or the time I was sure a swollen lymph node was cancer but my doctor refused to biopsy it. Now that I have some clarity, I wonder: Do I need to explain all of this to my friends, family, and colleagues? Or should I just keep moving forward armed with my new sense of understanding? Dear Reader, First of all: congratulations. I, too, have committed crimes that never happened and almost died of illnesses I didn't have. Once, in a bar in London, I groped in my pocket for some cash, felt a lump in my thigh, and immediately blacked out. Clang, onto the floor, full length. I came around gazing into the neutrally concerned face of an EMT. As Morrissey says: 'Oh, I can smile about it now, but at the time it was terrible.' And it's not like I can't still feel it, right next to me, right under me, that whipping, lashing realm of contingency, all the ghastly possibilities blah blah. But somehow, it's no longer at the center of my awareness. I'm not sure what happened—maybe I displaced it with alcohol and pro wrestling. Or maybe it was the 10 years of therapy. Or maybe I finally figured out what D. H. Lawrence meant when he wrote 'If only, most lovely of all, I yield myself and am borrowed / By the fine, fine wind that takes its course through the chaos of the world.' The point is: We made it. We can look back on these crises with rue and wonderment. I don't think you need to explain anything to anybody. To those who accompanied you through it (like your friend who insisted you get tested), the change in you, the strengthening in you, will be self-evident. The time to use your new understanding will come when you encounter someone in similar difficulties. At that moment, you'll be able to plug right into the regenerative power of the universe—the countercurrent to all of the fear and destruction—and help somebody out. On the mend, James Dear James, I'm 61, and I retired from full-time work four years ago—not to move toward anything in particular but to find relief from a lifestyle that was no longer physically or mentally healthy. I was well compensated for work, but the toll it was taking on my body, mind, and psyche resulted in a risk-benefit imbalance. Four years later, I'm still figuring out how to live in retirement. Mental-health professionals and well-meaning advice dispensers all seem to encourage a retired life filled with service to others, and devoted to maintaining or strengthening social contacts. I'm all for those activities, and some of them are and will be part of my retired life. However, I'm on the far end of introvert on the introvert-extrovert continuum. And I'm perfectly happy in my little corner of the world, minding my own business, enjoying the sights and sounds of my environment, and appreciating still being alive. I'm never bored and rarely lonely. Do you see anything wrong with a small, quiet, do-no-harm existence, or must I force myself out into the world more often than I wish to? Dear Reader, Bollocks to service, and bollocks to strengthening social contacts. Be untroubled by these buzzwords. By cultivating so exquisitely your own portion of consciousness, you're doing more for the collective than any number of noisy humanitarians. Relish your solitary days! Strewing petals, James
Yahoo
10-06-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Dear James: I Love Going Naked on the Beach
The Atlantic Daily, a newsletter that guides you through the biggest stories of the day, helps you discover new ideas, and recommends the best in culture. Sign up for it here. Is anything ailing, torturing, or nagging at you? Are you beset by existential worries? Every Tuesday, James Parker tackles readers' questions. Tell him about your lifelong or in-the-moment problems at dearjames@ Don't want to miss a single column? Sign up to get 'Dear James' in your inbox. Dear James, In the second half of last year, I went to a naturist beach for the first time. I was afraid on my whole walk there that I would chicken out. But there was nobody around for miles—so I stripped. Since then, I've done it five more times, at various beaches, with growing confidence, in front of other people who have and have not been clothed. I've found great peace in lying naked on the sand, listening to the waves. But: Over the winter I started to get these feelings of shame and guilt. I was raised a very strict Catholic. And although my mother has been dead for a decade, I can suddenly feel her strong disapproval from beyond the grave. It's a conundrum. How would you handle it? Dear Reader, Well, I was in church on Sunday morning for the Feast of Pentecost, celebrating the wacky mandate of the Holy Spirit to go where it pleases—to land, if it likes, right on top of somebody's head (your head, my head, anybody's head) and nest there in a throbbing bolus of flame. So yup, I'm ready to get Catholic about this. I'm ready to get dogmatic. Your body is a gift from God. In the appropriate place (such as a naturist beach), you should be able to go as naked as Adam in the garden and feel not a twinge-let of shame. You should be like the primal newborns in the Doors' 'Waiting for the Sun': 'At first flash of Eden / We raced down to the sea / Standing there on freedom's shore.' (Who dares to say Jim Morrison isn't a great American poet?) Isn't that the true spirit of nudism? They don't call it a birthday suit for nothing. Shed your clothes; shed everything that cramps or abashes you. Air out those musty parts. Unshadow yourself. Let it all flap. Be a real American. Scamper shoeless across the sand into liberty's gold-green sunrise. Me, I'm not great at being naked. It makes me feel too … naked. So I know where you're coming from. But you've done so well, made such strides in self-development. The confidence, the peace, the waves: Keep going! Of course—as at any breakthrough moment, any evolutionary threshold of the psyche—you're being swarmed by the old demons, now at extra strength: guilt, disgrace, an image of your mother scolding you. They are to be stoutly resisted. Imagine instead your mother's delight in you as a baby, in all your sweet-smelling, roly-poly nudeness. Imagine reality taking pleasure in itself across the surface of your skin. Last word here goes to Gerard Manley Hopkins, great Catholic sensualist, nudist in his heart: 'The Holy Ghost over the bent / World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.' Safe in my trousers, James By submitting a letter, you are agreeing to let The Atlantic use it in part or in full, and we may edit it for length and/or clarity. Article originally published at The Atlantic
