Latest news with #JeannePhillips
Yahoo
5 hours ago
- General
- Yahoo
Dear Abby: My wife doesn't show me affection anymore, and I'm out of options
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 22 years. It was a normal relationship, and I was very happy. However, over the last 12 years, my wife has changed. There is ZERO affection, no hugging, holding hands, and nothing sexual. We are like roommates. She blames it on having been molested when she was a child. Our level of intimacy was normal for 10 years. I have suggested counseling, but she refuses. Bottom line: Should I stay, or should I go? I am 64 years old, and this is my second marriage. I don't want to start over. — STARVED IN INDIANA DEAR STARVED: Ask your wife if she ever received counseling after she was molested. If she did, she needs more. However, if she did not, then it's time to explain to her that for the last 12 years, she has starved you of affection and human contact, and you do not intend to live the rest of your life this way. Then offer her a choice: counseling to deal with her issue or a divorce. You may not want to start over, but you may have to. DEAR ABBY: I brought my dad with dementia into my home. My husband has heart issues. We are all at each other's throats all the time. My siblings promised they would help take care of our dad, but they haven't helped much at all. Every once in a while they may take him for a couple hours, but then he's right back. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. But we really could use more help, though I feel guilty asking for it. Am I supposed to feel this way? I mean, they are his children, too. — OBLIGATED IN KENTUCKY DEAR OBLIGATED: I hope you realize you may have brought this situation on yourself, and it's up to you to do something about it. You said you feel guilty asking your siblings for more help taking care of your father. Lose that guilty feeling! They are his children, too, but they aren't mind readers. Tell them what you need, and if it is more time to yourself and your sick husband, don't be bashful about saying so. DEAR ABBY: My husband bought me a beautiful diamond ring for our 35th anniversary. People often ask how much it costs and why we would spend that. I know I don't have to explain myself, and I try to be polite. We both work, are debt-free, and don't bother anyone. What is the proper way to respond to questions like this? — DIAMOND GAL IN MASSACHUSETTS DEAR DIAMOND GAL: You are correct. You are not obligated to reveal personal financial information, so stop doing it. There's no end to the personal questions people ask these days. If someone inquires about how much your ring cost or why you would spend that amount of money, simply respond, 'You know, that's a very personal question, and I'm really not comfortable with it.' Then change the subject. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
New York Post
11 hours ago
- General
- New York Post
Dear Abby: My wife doesn't show me affection anymore, and I'm out of options
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 22 years. It was a normal relationship, and I was very happy. However, over the last 12 years, my wife has changed. There is ZERO affection, no hugging, holding hands, and nothing sexual. We are like roommates. She blames it on having been molested when she was a child. Our level of intimacy was normal for 10 years. I have suggested counseling, but she refuses. Bottom line: Should I stay, or should I go? I am 64 years old, and this is my second marriage. I don't want to start over. — STARVED IN INDIANA Advertisement DEAR STARVED: Ask your wife if she ever received counseling after she was molested. If she did, she needs more. However, if she did not, then it's time to explain to her that for the last 12 years, she has starved you of affection and human contact, and you do not intend to live the rest of your life this way. Then offer her a choice: counseling to deal with her issue or a divorce. You may not want to start over, but you may have to. DEAR ABBY: I brought my dad with dementia into my home. My husband has heart issues. We are all at each other's throats all the time. My siblings promised they would help take care of our dad, but they haven't helped much at all. Advertisement Every once in a while they may take him for a couple hours, but then he's right back. Don't get me wrong, I love my dad. But we really could use more help, though I feel guilty asking for it. Am I supposed to feel this way? I mean, they are his children, too. — OBLIGATED IN KENTUCKY DEAR OBLIGATED: I hope you realize you may have brought this situation on yourself, and it's up to you to do something about it. You said you feel guilty asking your siblings for more help taking care of your father. Lose that guilty feeling! They are his children, too, but they aren't mind readers. Tell them what you need, and if it is more time to yourself and your sick husband, don't be bashful about saying so. Advertisement DEAR ABBY: My husband bought me a beautiful diamond ring for our 35th anniversary. People often ask how much it costs and why we would spend that. I know I don't have to explain myself, and I try to be polite. We both work, are debt-free, and don't bother anyone. What is the proper way to respond to questions like this? — DIAMOND GAL IN MASSACHUSETTS DEAR DIAMOND GAL: You are correct. You are not obligated to reveal personal financial information, so stop doing it. There's no end to the personal questions people ask these days. If someone inquires about how much your ring cost or why you would spend that amount of money, simply respond, 'You know, that's a very personal question, and I'm really not comfortable with it.' Then change the subject. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
New York Post
3 days ago
- General
- New York Post
Dear Abby: My coworker has been filling the office drinking fountain with lead-filled water
DEAR ABBY: The floor I work on has a cluster of offices surrounding a central kitchen area. Fifteen of us share the appliances, including a hot water reservoir with a tap. The building is old and has lead pipes, so a service brings in large plastic bottles for a water cooler. Usually, whoever arrives first in the morning fills the tank on the water heater from the cooler, and we all use it to make hot drinks during the day. I just found out that a new employee has been filling the tank from the contaminated tap! When I asked her about it, she said that the microplastics in the water jugs were more dangerous than the lead in the pipes. She's very committed to this idea and is not going to budge. I don't think this is right. I will heat my own water from now on, but how should I warn the others in the office? The source of our tea water seems like a silly thing to start an office tiff over, but I also think people need to know their water is unsafe. — NOT DRINKING IN NEW YORK DEAR NOT DRINKING: I agree the employees in your office should know about this. At least they will be on notice about which 'poison' they are consuming. Report this to HR or your employer, so the announcement can come from on high and you can stay out of the line of fire. DEAR ABBY: I have spent 40 years serving the public and my country, putting other people first and feeling guilty if I didn't. However, I am becoming resentful of the demands for my time. I'm retired, and my husband still works. We have always split the expenses 50-50, even though I make less than 40% of his income. Once I retired, my share of the household chores and errands increased from 75% to 90%. I wanted to make life easier for my husband, but now he expects me to run personal errands for him, too. All the wear and tear and gas usage is borne by my car, which is considerably older than his. I have a friend and walking partner who has been having different issues she needs help with. She has always talked about the close friends she has known for decades and sees regularly. They all live about 20 minutes away and are retired, in good health and able to drive. I offered her my help in the past, but now she and her friends think I should be her go-to person since I live closer to her than they do. I have my own schedule and routine now. I like having some days free to do what I feel like and not have to fulfill demands from others. How do I let people know my time is valuable and discourage them from expecting me to help them? — TOO NICE AND HELPFUL DEAR TOO NICE: It is not a crime to tell someone you don't have time to do what they want you to do. It's time to sign up for some assertiveness training so you can learn how to say no. (No, I'm not kidding.) If you do as I suggest, it might even improve your marriage. Your doctor or health insurance company can refer you to someone qualified. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Yahoo
4 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Dear Abby: I'm in love with the much younger man I dog sit for
DEAR ABBY: A man I know has been married for 40 years. His wife gets mad at him for small things and stops talking to him for three to four months at a time. Also, he will make her supper, and she'll make something else. Or she will make supper and quickly put it in the refrigerator. They leave very brief notes about where they are going. During long rides, no words are spoken. If company or their kids or grandchildren come, she puts plates of food out for everyone but him. Then, the switch flips and it's a great normal marriage again — with sex and everything else for three or four months. Then it happens again. This has been going on for most of their marriage. But it used to be shorter periods of time — two or three weeks — which I think is also too long to not speak. They have grown kids who come home and haven't noticed most of it. When this man confronts his wife during these stretches, she refuses to talk about it. I believe she must be bipolar. A nephew of hers has been diagnosed with it and is being treated. Her husband is ready to divorce her even though he still loves her. He's not sure what to do. Please advise. — LOOKING ON IN MINNESOTA DEAR LOOKING ON: It is difficult for me to understand why a husband would tolerate the emotional abuse this man has suffered for 40 years. Please tell your friend that my advice is to consult an attorney, describe what has been happening and ask what his alternatives to the status quo may be. Then he should tell his children the truth about his marriage and inform his wife that he will no longer tolerate the way he has been treated. He should also tell his wife that unless she gets professional help for her problem, he's leaving. DEAR ABBY: I am a dog sitter in my 70s who has been taking care of a dog for the last five years. Her owner is a nice young man who is well mannered and polite. We have had a good relationship. A few months ago, he started seeing a lovely young woman, and I am feeling jealous and sad. I realize I could be his grandmother and there never could be anything between us. Perhaps I feel this way because I'm alone and missing the relationship I had with my husband, who passed away 12 years ago. How can I get over this feeling? — LONELY PET SITTER DEAR SITTER: I'm glad you wrote. A dose of human companionship would be a start. If you are caring for a dog, you must be walking it regularly and, by virtue of that, meeting people. Step it up a bit. See what other activities are available for seniors in your community and join some of them. Whether you fall in love again or not, you are sure to meet new people and have less time alone. Please think positively and give it a try. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
New York Post
4 days ago
- General
- New York Post
Dear Abby: I'm in love with the much younger man I dog sit for
DEAR ABBY: A man I know has been married for 40 years. His wife gets mad at him for small things and stops talking to him for three to four months at a time. Also, he will make her supper, and she'll make something else. Or she will make supper and quickly put it in the refrigerator. They leave very brief notes about where they are going. During long rides, no words are spoken. If company or their kids or grandchildren come, she puts plates of food out for everyone but him. Then, the switch flips and it's a great normal marriage again — with sex and everything else for three or four months. Then it happens again. This has been going on for most of their marriage. But it used to be shorter periods of time — two or three weeks — which I think is also too long to not speak. They have grown kids who come home and haven't noticed most of it. When this man confronts his wife during these stretches, she refuses to talk about it. I believe she must be bipolar. A nephew of hers has been diagnosed with it and is being treated. Her husband is ready to divorce her even though he still loves her. He's not sure what to do. Please advise. — LOOKING ON IN MINNESOTA DEAR LOOKING ON: It is difficult for me to understand why a husband would tolerate the emotional abuse this man has suffered for 40 years. Please tell your friend that my advice is to consult an attorney, describe what has been happening and ask what his alternatives to the status quo may be. Then he should tell his children the truth about his marriage and inform his wife that he will no longer tolerate the way he has been treated. He should also tell his wife that unless she gets professional help for her problem, he's leaving. DEAR ABBY: I am a dog sitter in my 70s who has been taking care of a dog for the last five years. Her owner is a nice young man who is well mannered and polite. We have had a good relationship. A few months ago, he started seeing a lovely young woman, and I am feeling jealous and sad. I realize I could be his grandmother and there never could be anything between us. Perhaps I feel this way because I'm alone and missing the relationship I had with my husband, who passed away 12 years ago. How can I get over this feeling? — LONELY PET SITTER DEAR SITTER: I'm glad you wrote. A dose of human companionship would be a start. If you are caring for a dog, you must be walking it regularly and, by virtue of that, meeting people. Step it up a bit. See what other activities are available for seniors in your community and join some of them. Whether you fall in love again or not, you are sure to meet new people and have less time alone. Please think positively and give it a try. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
