01-05-2025
AI builds hilarious list of 100 Clemson Tigers to take on one gorilla
AI builds hilarious list of 100 Clemson Tigers to take on one gorilla
The social media square is a weird place. The reason unbeknownst to its users, the most random ideas/thoughts on social media platforms like X (formerly Twitter), Facebook, and TikTok periodically become viral sensations. Currently, one gorilla versus 100 men is the topic on many minds.
Obviously, opinions widely differ on the outcome, but really, it depends on who the 100 men are, or for the purposes of this article, which 100 Tigers. Clemson Wire has taken the liberty of asking AI to produce 100 Clemson athletes, past or present, who are best suited to take on an average Silverback Gorilla, and the results are, in no uncertain terms, amazing and hilarious.
100 Tigers vs. 1 Gorilla
First, let's look at what our Tigers are up against. From the tropical forests of Central and East Africa, the Silverback Gorillas are the largest and strongest living primates. On average, bigger, stronger cousins of Humans could theoretically lift around 4,000 pounds on bench press while equipped with a bite force that rivals a Polar Bear's at around 1,300 psi.
Compared to the average man, it's completely overpowering. The prototypical man, standing 5-foot-7 and weighing around 200 pounds, with intermediate training, can bench around 200 pounds and has a bite force of around 162 psi. Even the strongest man on Earth couldn't hold a candle to a gorilla, with the bench world record holder Jimmy Kolb putting up 1,401 pounds in early April.
So, when searching for Clemson athletes to take on this hypothetical gorilla, strength and power are important but not enough. The AI program that generated the also anticipated speed, strategy, and even goggles (see No. 84) as reasons to add athletes to the list.
So, without further ado, here are the 100 Clemson athletes that AI has chosen to take on a Silverback Gorilla and the reasons why it selected them.
AI generated list of 100 Clemson Athletes to battle a Silverback Gorilla
Legendary Strength / Power
1. Christian Wilkins – DT, massive strength, plus dance moves. 2. Dexter Lawrence – DT, 340 lbs of pure force. 3. Grady Jarrett – Undersized but explosive and angry. 4. Shaq Lawson – DE with leverage and attitude. 5. Vic Beasley – DE, freak athlete. 6. Da'Quan Bowers – Former 5-star DE with violent hands. 7. Clelin Ferrell – Big, long, smart edge-setter. 8. Gaines Adams – RIP, but he'd be on this team. 9. Carlos Watkins – Monster DT. 10. Jarvis Jenkins – Strong interior guy.
O-Line Bulldozers
11. John Simpson – Massive OG with a mean streak. 12. Jackson Carman – OT who eats space and people. 13. Mitch Hyatt – Calm but strong. 14. Brandon Thomas – Nimble guard with experience. 15. Tyrone Crowder – Another OG wall. 16. Walker Parks – Big and physical. 17. Jay Guillermo – Center with brawler mentality. 18. Dalton Freeman – Smart and durable. 19. Blake Miller – 6'6", 320 lbs of young power. 20. Will Putnam – Grit and muscle.
Freak Athletes & Power Runners
21. James Davis – 'Thunder' in Thunder & Lightning. 22. Wayne Gallman – Tough, physical style. 23. Travis Etienne – Might outrun the gorilla. 24. C.J. Spiller – Also fast enough to flank. 25. Tavien Feaster – Track-level speed/power blend. 26. Reggie Merriweather – Bowling ball. 27. Lyn-J Dixon – Shifty but scrappy. 28. Kobe Pace – Great name and low center of gravity. 29. Adam Choice – Strong and unafraid. 30. Chez Mellusi – Powerful runner.
Linebackers & Alpha Dogs
31. Ben Boulware – Literal gorilla energy. 32. Isaiah Simmons – 6'4" unicorn hybrid. 33. Stephone Anthony – Speed + punishment. 34. Dorian O'Daniel – Hits like a truck. 35. Trenton Simpson – Built like a superhero. 36. Levon Kirkland – NFL legend, 275 lbs linebacker. 37. Keith Adams – Stocky and aggressive. 38. Chad Smith – Tough inside guy. 39. Kendall Joseph – Smart and physical. 40. James Skalski – All heart, all violence.
Defensive Brawlers / Hitters
41. Brian Dawkins – Brings a weaponized mentality. 42. T.J. Green – Long and fast. 43. Jayron Kearse – Big DB at 6'4". 44. Andrew Booth Jr. – Physical CB. 45. Mackensie Alexander – Never backs down. 46. Bashaud Breeland – Aggressive tackler. 47. Derion Kendrick – Versatile defender. 48. Trayvon Mullen – Physical corner. 49. Nolan Turner – Solid and clutch. 50. Sheridan Jones – Confident and scrappy.
Tight Ends & Fullbacks (Force + Hands)
51. Dwayne Allen – NFL-caliber TE. 52. Brandon Ford – Strong route runner and blocker. 53. Garrett Williams – One of the best blockers. 54. Jordan Leggett – Big frame. 55. Davis Allen – Recent strong TE. 56. Milan Richard – Sturdy and physical. 57. J.C. Chalk – Reliable blocker. 58. Jamie Harper – Played some fullback power style. 59. Zac Brooks – Strong north-south style. 60. Darien Rencher – Big locker room leader type.
Track & Field Power
61. T.J. Parker – Shot put & discus monster. 62. Alex Harasimowicz – Hammer throw. 63. Breanna Warren – Women's shot/discus star. 64. Marcus Brown – Discus champion. 65. Imani Carothers – Track warrior with grit. 66. Jared Allison – Big javelin guy. 67. Wesley Bracey – Javelin and shot combo. 68. Michelle Atherley – Heptathlete grit. 69. Brittany Waller – NCAA discus champ. 70. Daniel Blackledge – Clemson thrower with size.
Wrestlers / Grapplers / Tough-as-nails guys
71. Joe Staley (wrestling background) – Transfer but still beastly. 72. Richard Yeargin – Resilient DE. 73. Xavier Thomas – Physical specimen. 74. Justin Foster – Strength and presence. 75. Kevin Dodd – Big game hitter. 76. Josh Watson – Underrated strength. 77. Albert Huggins – Bulk on the inside. 78. DeShawn Williams – Nose tackle mentality. 79. Corey Crawford – Long and physical. 80. Ricky Sapp – Quick and forceful.
Basketball Enforcers
81. Trevor Booker – NBA veteran with Hulk mode. 82. Aamir Simms – Big and agile. 83. Jerai Grant – Long and athletic. 84. Horace Grant – If you want goggles in battle. 85. Elijah Thomas – Big man presence. 86. K.J. McDaniels – Explosive athlete. 87. Raymond Sykes – Underrated toughness. 88. Landry Nnoko – Defensive anchor. 89. P.J. Hall – Big body and versatile. 90. Devin Booker – Strong and mobile.
Wildcard / Strategy / Distraction
91. Hunter Renfrow – Distract gorilla with trickery. 92. Tajh Boyd – Field general and leader. 93. Deshaun Watson – Calm under pressure. 94. Trevor Lawrence – Elegant bait for distraction. 95. Amari Rodgers – Thick and fearless. 96. Deon Cain – Athletic and fast. 97. Mike Williams – Big catch radius, body control. 98. Sammy Watkins – Explosive YAC. 99. Tee Higgins – Long, athletic, high jumper. 100. Dabo Swinney – Tactical coordinator from the sideline, yelling plays.
