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The Guardian
a day ago
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
‘Still brings me hope': why Submarine is my feelgood movie
I remember the day anxiety took over my life. I was 12 years old and felt continually, grindingly nervous about everything and nothing. I had spent the morning in the student support office, coming down from a panic attack that had left me pinned to a classroom floor, heart pounding and tears streaming down my face. Over a post-recovery cup of tea and Jaffa Cakes, a pastoral adviser told me that if this was to become a regular occurrence, I would hit burnout by the end of term. The idea stuck. Within my first few weeks at high school, I was diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder – a condition characterised by excessive and persistent worry, according to the NHS. A perfectionist streak had spiralled into an acute sense of responsibility. I was an overly conscientious student; I felt I had to be better than everyone else and excel at my studies in order to prove my worth. I tried to do as much work as I could, as perfectly as possible, as a way to shore up low self-esteem. It was during this state of unrest that Richard Ayoade's Submarine waltzed into my world. It might be a curious choice to name a film that traverses a troubled home life, too-much-too-young sexual experiences, and bullying as my 'feelgood' movie, but within its equally dark and peppy 97 minutes is a story about writing your own rules. Adapted from the Joe Dunthorne novel, Submarine is touching, sweet and, crucially, very funny. Like its deep-thinking protagonist Oliver Tate, I was not very good at being a teenager. I worried I'd ruined my life when it had barely begun. The film follows Oliver's romance with classmate Jordana Bevan, a pyromaniac with a fearless sense of rebellion. He enjoys reading the dictionary; she likes to singe her partner's leg hairs with a lighted match. Cooped up at home for days at a time, often too anxious to attend school, I first came across Submarine via Tumblr. I would spend hours in bed scrolling through the blogging website, which was awash with gifs of Oliver and Jordana. Their relationship, a true balancing of yin and yang energies, felt aspirational to young fans whose identities were still taking shape. Early on in the film, Oliver becomes overwhelmed by a foreboding sense that he will not achieve anything in life. He indulges in gallows humour, narrating the visualisation of his own funeral – a candlelit vigil that will be filmed by a local news crew. While his misfit character sometimes leans into cliche (he reads Catcher in the Rye, of course) the film's expressive portrayal of anxiety felt validating. It illuminated many tensions that I instantly recognised, such as how mental illness can isolate an individual, leaving friends unsure how to help. The way Oliver responds to situations can be extreme, but not illogical. A first kiss results in breathlessness. He hides in corridors, peeping at things he doesn't yet understand – gaining vignettes of grownup existence. Stepping outside of his bedroom is to trigger a mysterious, almost occult change in his confidence. At 15, my life was a swirl of counselling sessions, insomnia, and weight loss. I was forced to drop half of my GCSEs, of which the remaining few were completed under separate invigilation. I was terrified, and beneath the fear, burning with shame. But as the months spooled on, I kept returning to Submarine whenever I needed to be reminded that there was a whole realm of possibility out there not reflected in the day-to-day that I knew. As Oliver offers at one point, what happens during one's adolescence becomes imprinted in the memory and we can spend years later 'revisiting the same handful of images'. I vowed to take another route. It was Alex Turner's heart-rending soundtrack that instead offered me a way forward, with songs that speak to maintaining a sense of selfhood in difficult circumstances. 'Tomorrow, I'll be stronger/Running colourful, no longer just in black and white,' he sings on Hiding Tonight. That's when it clicked: resentment could turn into resolve. A calmer, more emotionally stable future didn't have to feel impenetrable. Dozens upon dozens of viewings have since followed; the film still brings me hope and unfettered joy as an adult. A few years into my career, I interviewed Turner at an east London pub. I was 21, still taking gentle steps towards getting better while making a living out of a love of music that essentially started with him. On the tube home, beaming and overjoyed, I pressed play on the Submarine soundtrack. In it I heard not nostalgia but the sound of my transformation, from a timorous, unwell girl to the journalist I became, to what I am still becoming now. Submarine is available to watch on Amazon Prime in the US and UK and to rent digitally in Australia
The Guardian
12-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
The disturbing tale of one family's flight from the Nazis: best podcasts of the week
When poet, novelist and journalist Joe Dunthorne decided to write a family history, he had no idea what he was getting into. His journey started, unpromisingly, with a turgid 2,000-page memoir written by his great-grandfather Siegfried. But while looking for an account of his family's escape from Nazi Germany, Dunthorne found something much more disturbing. This gripping podcast follows him as he reconstructs an erased history. Phil Harrison BBC Sounds, episodes weekly After his excellent BBC documentary on Israeli settlers in the West Bank, Theroux ably shifts gears. Series five of his celebrity interview show kicks off with The Last of Us star Bella Ramsey – who is warm and wise on gender, fame and autism – with rapper/actor Little Simz and anti-ageing obsessive Bryan Johnson to follow. Hannah J Davies Widely available, episodes weekly Benedict Townsend goes back to 2012 for this eight-part exploration of TikTok precursor Vine. The short-form video app was huge, thanks in no small part to a $30m acquisition by Twitter. Townsend scrupulously charts its rise and fall, from the breakout stars to the brands that exploited the nascent creator economy. HJD Widely available, episodes weekly A new series of the meaty investigative podcast centred on people living double lives. Sarah Cavanaugh made headlines in 2022 with her audacious tale of stolen valour (she wasn't a decorated US marine veteran, nor was she dying of cancer as she claimed when she obtained financial help intended for former personnel). Jake Halpern and Jess McHugh go deep into her deception. HJD Widely available, episodes weekly Sign up to What's On Get the best TV reviews, news and features in your inbox every Monday after newsletter promotion Katie Stokes is in her mid-20s, and should be having the time of her life in London – so why is she so lonely? This delightful series from the Transmission Roundhouse initiative sees the audio producer get real about our lack of 'third places' away from home and work. HJD Widely available, episodes weekly
