Latest news with #JournalofSocialandPersonalRelationships
Yahoo
18-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
This Study On Orgasms Should Be Required Reading For Men
Researchers have long known that straight women statistically have fewer orgasms than their male partners. One particularly depressing 2018 study found that 87% of husbands compared to 49% of wives reported consistently experiencing an orgasm. While you might assume the chasm would close as women aged and became more sexually experienced and assertive in bed, the gap lingers through a woman's lifetime. But no such orgasm gap exists when women are masturbating, or are having sex with other women ― suggesting the problem lies somewhere in a tilted sexual script shared by men and women. A new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships gives that cultural conditioning a name: the 'orgasm pursuit gap.' In plain English, lead researcher Carly Wolfer says the orgasm goal pursuit 'refers to how much someone wants an orgasm to happen ― whether it's their own or their partner's ― and how much effort they put into making it happen.' To figure out how men and women's effort differs, Wolfer, a doctoral candidate in social psychology at CUNY Graduate Center, studied the 21-day online 'sex diaries' of 127 heterosexual adults in monogamous relationships (ages 18-40). She found that men's orgasms were disproportionately prioritized during sex by both parties: Straight men tend to focus on their own orgasm and feel supported by their partner in that pursuit. Conveniently enough, straight women's focus in bed lies in getting their male partner to climax, too. Men reported experiencing orgasms in 90% of their sexual encounters, while women reported orgasms in only 54% of their encounters, the researchers found. Men also reported significantly higher levels of overall sexual satisfaction and satisfaction with their orgasms compared to women. 'In our sample, men had 15 times higher odds of orgasming than women in any given sex act,' Wolfer told HuffPost. 'Not because it's 'just naturally harder' for women to orgasm ― a common myth ― but because we put less effort into the sexual practices that support women's pleasure, like clitoral stimulation.' Part of the problem lies in how we treat penetration as the be-all-end-all goal of sex. That's the most reliable way for a man to climax, but the majority of women reach orgasm through clitorial stimulation. Too often, playing with the clit is treated as 'foreplay,' if it's played with at all. (Speaking of which, guys, now might be a good time to read this article about how to go down on a woman, according to queer women. Or this one about a twist on missionary that emphasizes clit stimulation.) Vanessa Marin, sex therapist and creator of Finishing School, an online orgasm course for women, wasn't surprised by the findings of the study, which she is unaffiliated with. In Marin's work, she's 'definitely seen that men often feel more entitled to orgasm or view it as a given part of sex.' This isn't because men are inherently selfish ― it's more about cultural conditioning: We tend to think of men's orgasms as the natural conclusion of sex and during sex, so that's what we're working toward. Women lose out when penetrative sex is treated as the 'main event,' but men do, too. 'When we focus solely on orgasm, we miss out on the richness of the entire experience — like the intimacy, connection and pleasure that come from simply being present with each other,' she said. 'Orgasm is wonderful, but it's not the only measure of a satisfying sexual encounter.' For Wolfer, delving into this research was important because of how one-sided the current advice is on closing the orgasm gap. 'So much advice around the orgasm gap focuses on trying to 'fix' women,' she said. 'It's like, 'Get out of your head, speak up, masturbate more.' We see headlines like, 'What women can do about the orgasm gap.' No one was asking: 'What can men do about it? How can men help?'' Women are enculturated to put their pleasure second then subtly chastised for not bringing themselves to orgasm during sex. But this isn't a 'women's issue,' it's a shared couples' issue, Wolfer said. That's where interdependence theory comes in ― a framework from relationship science that emphasizes how, in close relationships, your outcomes are linked to your partner's. The goal of mutual orgasm could use a little of that understanding. 'When partners work together to support each other's goals — including sexual ones — both people benefit,' Wolfer said. Interestingly, in Wolfer's study, perceived partner orgasm goal pursuit appeared to be an even stronger predictor of orgasm and sexual satisfaction than personal orgasm goal pursuit alone. In other words, when you feel your partner is deeply invested in you orgasming, you're more likely to get there (or at least walk away without disappointment or in dire need of a vibrator). Ultimately, closing the orgasm gap requires men's support, buy-in and collaboration. In fact, her data show that the benefits of pursuing an orgasm for yourself disappear when you feel like your partner isn't supportive. 'So pleasure is fundamentally a shared process. It's about collaboration and mutual care, effort and responsiveness,' she said. The key takeaway from Wolfer's study 'isn't to count orgasms or make sex feel tit-for-tat,' she said. The goal isn't so much orgasm equality ― where both partners orgasm equally ― but what Wolfer likes to call 'sexual pleasure equity.' 'True pleasure equity means both partners feel supported, seen, and have the opportunity to experience safe and fulfilling sexual experiences, whether that includes orgasm or not.' How to get closer to 'sexual pleasure equity' in your own relationship. For women wanting to get their partner more involved, it starts with feeling worthy of pleasure, Marin said. (Spending some time learning how you personally get off during masturbation might be a good goal, too, so you can communicate to your partner what you need.) 'For many women, this means unlearning years of societal conditioning that taught us to prioritize others over ourselves,' Marin said. 'It's about giving yourself permission to see your pleasure as valuable — not just for your partner's ego or the relationship, but for you.' Be specific about what you need with your partner — whether it's more clitoral stimulation, slower pacing, or just feeling like your pleasure is a priority. Men need to ask their partner what feels good for her, and really listen. Use open, nonjudgmental communication to bring it up with your partner, Marin said. 'You could say something like, 'I love being intimate with you, and I'd love for us to explore ways to make it even more enjoyable for both of us. Can we talk about what feels good for each of us and how we can support each other's pleasure?'' Be curious and open to trying new things, like focusing on clitoral stimulation or experimenting with different techniques, she said. 'Communicate during and after sex. Check in with her, not just about what feels good physically, but about how she's feeling emotionally.' For men, the most important step is to shift the mindset of 'getting' to one of 'giving and sharing,' Marin said. Ultimately, this approach will pay off for both of you and at least get you two one step closer to closing that pesky orgasm gap. This article originally appeared on HuffPost.
Buzz Feed
18-05-2025
- General
- Buzz Feed
Men Need To Read This Eye-Opening Orgasm Study
Researchers have long known that straight women statistically have fewer orgasms than their male partners. One particularly depressing 2018 study found that 87% of husbands compared to 49% of wives reported consistently experiencing an orgasm. While you might assume the chasm would close as women aged and became more sexually experienced and assertive in bed, the gap lingers through a woman's lifetime. But no such orgasm gap exists when women are masturbating, or are having sex with other women ― suggesting the problem lies somewhere in a tilted sexual script shared by men and women. A new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships gives that cultural conditioning a name: the 'orgasm pursuit gap.' In plain English, lead researcher Carly Wolfer says the orgasm goal pursuit 'refers to how much someone wants an orgasm to happen ― whether it's their own or their partner's ― and how much effort they put into making it happen.' To figure out how men and women's effort differs, Wolfer, a doctoral candidate in social psychology at CUNY Graduate Center, studied the 21-day online 'sex diaries' of 127 heterosexual adults in monogamous relationships (ages 18-40). She found that men's orgasms were disproportionately prioritized during sex by both parties: Straight men tend to focus on their own orgasm and feel supported by their partner in that pursuit. Conveniently enough, straight women's focus in bed lies in getting their male partner to climax, too. Men reported experiencing orgasms in 90% of their sexual encounters, while women reported orgasms in only 54% of their encounters, the researchers found. Men also reported significantly higher levels of overall sexual satisfaction and satisfaction with their orgasms compared to women. 'In our sample, men had 15 times higher odds of orgasming than women in any given sex act,' Wolfer told HuffPost. 'Not because it's 'just naturally harder' for women to orgasm ― a common myth ― but because we put less effort into the sexual practices that support women's pleasure, like clitoral stimulation.' Part of the problem lies in how we treat penetration as the be-all-end-all goal of sex. That's the most reliable way for a man to climax, but the majority of women reach orgasm through clitorial stimulation. Too often, playing with the clit is treated as 'foreplay,' if it's played with at all. (Speaking of which, guys, now might be a good time to read this article about how to go down on a woman, according to queer women. Or this one about a twist on missionary that emphasizes clit stimulation.) Vanessa Marin, sex therapist and creator of Finishing School, an online orgasm course for women, wasn't surprised by the findings of the study, which she is unaffiliated with. In Marin's work, she's 'definitely seen that men often feel more entitled to orgasm or view it as a given part of sex.' This isn't because men are inherently selfish ― it's more about cultural conditioning: We tend to think of men's orgasms as the natural conclusion of sex and during sex, so that's what we're working toward. Women lose out when penetrative sex is treated as the 'main event,' but men do, too. 'When we focus solely on orgasm, we miss out on the richness of the entire experience — like the intimacy, connection and pleasure that come from simply being present with each other,' she said. 'Orgasm is wonderful, but it's not the only measure of a satisfying sexual encounter.' For Wolfer, delving into this research was important because of how one-sided the current advice is on closing the orgasm gap. 'So much advice around the orgasm gap focuses on trying to 'fix' women,' she said. 'It's like, 'Get out of your head, speak up, masturbate more.' We see headlines like, 'What women can do about the orgasm gap.' No one was asking: 'What can men do about it? How can men help?'' Women are enculturated to put their pleasure second then subtly chastised for not bringing themselves to orgasm during sex. But this isn't a 'women's issue,' it's a shared couples ' issue, Wolfer said. That's where interdependence theory comes in ― a framework from relationship science that emphasizes how, in close relationships, your outcomes are linked to your partner's. The goal of mutual orgasm could use a little of that understanding. 'When partners work together to support each other's goals — including sexual ones — both people benefit,' Wolfer said. Interestingly, in Wolfer's study, perceived partner orgasm goal pursuit appeared to be an even stronger predictor of orgasm and sexual satisfaction than personal orgasm goal pursuit alone. In other words, when you feel your partner is deeply invested in you orgasming, you're more likely to get there (or at least walk away without disappointment or in dire need of a vibrator). Ultimately, closing the orgasm gap requires men's support, buy-in and collaboration. In fact, her data show that the benefits of pursuing an orgasm for yourself disappear when you feel like your partner isn't supportive. 'So pleasure is fundamentally a shared process. It's about collaboration and mutual care, effort and responsiveness,' she said. The key takeaway from Wolfer's study 'isn't to count orgasms or make sex feel tit-for-tat,' she said. The goal isn't so much orgasm equality ― where both partners orgasm equally ― but what Wolfer likes to call 'sexual pleasure equity.' 'True pleasure equity means both partners feel supported, seen, and have the opportunity to experience safe and fulfilling sexual experiences, whether that includes orgasm or not.' How to get closer to 'sexual pleasure equity' in your own relationship. For women wanting to get their partner more involved, it starts with feeling worthy of pleasure, Marin said. (Spending some time learning how you personally get off during masturbation might be a good goal, too, so you can communicate to your partner what you need.) 'For many women, this means unlearning years of societal conditioning that taught us to prioritize others over ourselves,' Marin said. 'It's about giving yourself permission to see your pleasure as valuable — not just for your partner's ego or the relationship, but for you.' Be specific about what you need with your partner — whether it's more clitoral stimulation, slower pacing, or just feeling like your pleasure is a priority. Men need to ask their partner what feels good for her, and really listen. Use open, nonjudgmental communication to bring it up with your partner, Marin said. 'You could say something like, 'I love being intimate with you, and I'd love for us to explore ways to make it even more enjoyable for both of us. Can we talk about what feels good for each of us and how we can support each other's pleasure?'' Be curious and open to trying new things, like focusing on clitoral stimulation or experimenting with different techniques, she said. 'Communicate during and after sex. Check in with her, not just about what feels good physically, but about how she's feeling emotionally.' For men, the most important step is to shift the mindset of 'getting' to one of 'giving and sharing,' Marin said. Ultimately, this approach will pay off for both of you and at least get you two one step closer to closing that pesky orgasm gap. HuffPost.
Hindustan Times
12-05-2025
- General
- Hindustan Times
Do you call your partner your best friend? New study says you may experience greater companionship
Do you consider your partner your best friend? If yes, you may be in the minority. A new study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships examined how romantic relationships and friendships intersect. It found that only 14 percent of US adults in relationships identify their partner as their best friend. Also Read | Cardiovascular surgeon advises not skipping leg day: 'It can prevent heart attack' The research found that the individuals who said that their partners were their best friends reported greater companionship. Meanwhile, those with a separate best friend experienced higher perceived social support, highlighting the distinct benefits of different types of relationships. The research was led by Natalie Pennington as part of the American Friendship Project. The study used data from 940 adults in romantic relationships. Participants listed up to seven friends and assigned labels like best friend or romantic partner without direction, offering insight into unprompted social perceptions. While 36 percent named their partner as a friend, only 39.5 percent of those also considered them their best friend. The study found that seeing a partner as a best friend correlates with greater emotional closeness and routine interaction, but the label itself doesn't necessarily deepen the bond if the partner is already seen as a friend. Interestingly, 25 percent of participants labelled more than one person their best friend, challenging traditional social norms. The study, 'What's in a label? Exploring the intersection of relationships with best friends and romantic partners with well-being,' found that older adults were slightly more likely to view their partner as a best friend. Meanwhile, married and higher-income individuals were less likely to do so. Those with a romantic partner as a best friend felt more companionship, whereas those with a separate best friend felt more supported, suggesting that no single relationship can fulfil all emotional needs. The study underscores the importance of maintaining diverse social ties and calls attention to how socioeconomic status may influence reliance on romantic partners. Though limited by its cross-sectional design and self-reported data, the findings support fostering multiple strong connections—romantic and platonic alike—for emotional well-being and resilience.
New York Post
06-05-2025
- Science
- New York Post
Study finds women still get screwed on orgasms — and the blame doesn't just fall on men
If this was a newspaper and not a nice shiny website plugged into the wall with a few blue cables coming out the back, then there is only one headline we would use on this story: Come again? Today we have new research out of the US where some academics have dedicated themselves to the burning question: Why aren't women having more orgasms? Advertisement Sadly, big tech, big pharma and big porn, despite being industries worth a combined $21 trillion, have failed to solve this. Enter a new study that has some answers. Published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, this research has identified what is really going wrong in the bedroom — we are suffering from an Orgasm Pursuit Gap (OGP). Straight men and women both prioritize the man orgasming — and that far less effort, on everyone's part, went into the woman achieving similar results, the study essentially found. gpointstudio – Advertisement That is, how much perceived effort, both partners, put into a woman orgasming. The study found that, essentially, straight men and women both prioritize the man getting there (sly wink) and that far less effort, on everyone's part, went into the woman achieving similar results. Sigh. Great. Just great. We (writing as a cis gender woman) are, statistically, paid less, do more housework and childcare, report higher rates of feeling rushed and pressed for time, and are more likely to die of stroke. Advertisement And now, it turns out that we are being even further short-changed in the bedroom. Who do we ask for a refund? The study was led by Carly Wolfer, a doctoral candidate in social psychology at City University of New York, who asked 127 people in heterosexual relationships aged 18-40-years-old to keep sex diaries for three weeks, a span which ultimately tracked 566 sexual events. Advertisement Ms Wolfer found that men orgasmed during 90 percent of their sexual encounters while women only got to the same place just over half the time, at 54 percent. It gets worse. Not only are men 15 times more likely to orgasm than women but when they do they have more satisfying orgasms. (Programming note: I vehemently refuse to use the word 'climax'. We are not trapped in the early aughties badlands of mags doing stories like '15 ways to blow his mind'.) That's 'not because it's 'just naturally harder' for women to orgasm — a common myth,' Wilder told the HuffPost, 'but because we put less effort into the sexual practices that support women's pleasure, like clitoral stimulation.' Or to put it another way, heterosexual couples have a general tendency to do the things, positions, and upside-down, back-to-front, standing-on-your-head gymnastics that help men orgasm over what works for women. Moreover, while this is going on, the research showed that both him and her are more focused on the guy orgasming, rather than the gal equally. Wolfer found that men orgasmed during 90 percent of their sexual encounters while women only got to the same place just over half the time, at 54 percent. Pixel-Shot – Advertisement Et voila, the orgasm pursuit gap. As Wolfer explained to the HuffPost, the OGP is about 'how much someone wants an orgasm to happen — whether it's their own or their partner's — and how much effort they put into making it happen.' From a feminist standpoint this all makes me want to grind my teeth and start emitting the sort of noises better suited to a pitbull chained up to a fence who is having a very bad day. When it comes to female sexual enjoyment, the figures are a real turn off. Advertisement Last year the sex toy company Womanizer's We-Vibe sex and relationships study found that barely 40 percent of women across all age brackets are actually satisfied with the amount of sex they are having. Meanwhile, an Australian study has previously found that only one in four women regularly masturbate, dealing a devastating blow to double AA battery sales. Overall, researchers found that in the past year, nearly three quarters (72 percent) of men had masturbated but only just a bit more than one in three women (42 percent). Advertisement According to Womanizer's numbers, overall, 62 percent of women don't own a single sex toy. So women of Australia it's time to unite: We are being shortchanged, and short changing ourselves, in the bedroom. Forget budget deficits, we are massively stuck in a far more pressing orgasm deficit, strangely an issue that has not come up during this election cycle. (Imagining Prime Minister Athony Albanese and Opposition Leader Peter Dutton even spluttering their way through saying the word 'orgasms' as they turned various shades of puce and became increasingly flustered is the best fun you can have with your pants on today. Advertisement No one should ever lie back and think of Canberra.) The moral of all this: When it comes to your next sexual event, everyone needs to try. Everyone needs to come to the party.
News.com.au
06-05-2025
- Science
- News.com.au
Truth about female orgasms finally revealed in new study
If this was a newspaper and not a nice shiny website plugged into the wall with a few blue cables coming out the back, then there is only one headline we would use on this story: Come again? Today we have new research out of the US where some academics have dedicated themselves to the burning question: Why aren't women having more orgasms? Sadly, big tech, big pharma and big porn, despite being industries worth a combined $21 trillion, have failed to solve this. Enter a new study that has some answers. Published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, this research has identified what is really going wrong in the bedroom - we are suffering from an Orgasm Pursuit Gap (OGP). That is, how much perceived effort, both partners, put into a woman orgasming. The study found that, essentially, straight men and women both prioritise the bloke getting there (sly wink) and that far less effort, on everyone's part, went into the woman achieving similar results. Sigh. Great. Just great. We (writing as a cis gender woman) are, statistically, paid less, do more housework and childcare, report higher rates of feeling rushed and pressed for time, and are more likely to die of stroke. And now, it turns out that we are being even further short-changed in the bedroom. Who do we ask for a refund? The study was led by Carly Wolfer, a doctoral candidate in social psychology at City University of New York, who asked 127 people in heterosexual relationships aged 18-40-years-old to keep sex diaries for three weeks, a span which ultimately tracked 566 sexual events. Ms Wolfer found that men orgasmed during 90 percent of their sexual encounters while women only got to the same place just over half the time, at 54 percent. It gets worse. Not only are men 15 times more likely to orgasm than women but when they do they have more satisfying orgasms. (Programming note: I vehemently refuse to use the word 'climax'. We are not trapped in the early aughties badlands of mags doing stories like '15 ways to blow his mind'.) That's 'not because it's 'just naturally harder' for women to orgasm - a common myth,' Wilder told the HuffPost, 'but because we put less effort into the sexual practices that support women's pleasure, like clitoral stimulation.' Or to put it another way, heterosexual couples have a general tendency to do the things, positions, and upside-down, back-to-front, standing-on-your-head gymnastics that help men orgasm over what works for women. Moreover, while this is going on, the research showed that both him and her are more focused on the guy orgasming, rather than the gal equally. Et voila, the orgasm pursuit gap. As Wolfer explained to the HuffPost, the OGP is about 'how much someone wants an orgasm to happen - whether it's their own or their partner's - and how much effort they put into making it happen.' From a feminist standpoint this all makes me want to grind my teeth and start emitting the sort of noises better suited to a pitbull chained up to a fence who is having a very bad day. When it comes to female sexual enjoyment, the figures are a real turn off. Last year the sex toy company Womanizer's We-Vibe sex and relationships study found that barely 40 per cent of women across all age brackets are actually satisfied with the amount of sex they are having. Meanwhile, an Australian study has previously found that only one in four women regularly masturbate, dealing a devastating blow to double AA battery sales. Overall, researchers found that in the past year, nearly three quarters (72 per cent) of men had masturbated but only just a bit more than one in three women (42 per cent). According to Womanizer's numbers, overall, 62 per cent of women don't own a single sex toy. So women of Australia it's time to unite: We are being shortchanged, and short changing ourselves, in the bedroom. Forget budget deficits, we are massively stuck in a far more pressing orgasm deficit, strangely an issue that has not come up during this election cycle. (Imagining Prime Minister Athony Albanese and Opposition Leader Peter Dutton even spluttering their way through saying the word 'orgams' as they turned various shades of puce and became increasingly flustered is the best fun you can have with your pants on today. No one should ever lie back and think of Canberra.) The moral of all this: When it comes to your next sexual event, everyone needs to try. Everyone needs to come to the party.
