3 days ago
I married the man of my dreams 42 hours after meeting – then he beat me for four hours and plunged a knife into me
SWIPING through the dating app, Kasey Wolfe's heart fluttered as she spotted a message from a handsome stranger.
His name was Charles Bates and he was almost seven years Kasey's junior.
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Typically dating older men, Bates wasn't Kasey's normal type and the 41-year-old hesitated before she agreed to go on a first date.
Just 42 hours later, the couple were married in a whirlwind romance. But in the months that followed Kasey, who lives in Kentucky, desperately wished she had listened to her early niggles.
Jealous Bates, now 35, became increasingly violent over their relationship before eventually leaving Kasey fighting for her life in a brutal four-hour attack.
'Enough time has passed for me now to look back and see how crazy it was to marry a man just 42 hours after he messaged me on a dating site,' she says.
'Having to ask Charles his surname when we collected our marriage licence should have been a red flag, but I ignored it."
But Kasey could have never anticipated Bates' violent side - he had been highly affectionate from his very first message.
'His first message said 'You're absolutely gorgeous. I have to meet you',' Kasey recalls.
'Because of his age I joked about getting his dad's number but he pleaded with me to give him a chance and I wavered.
'But after what I had been through I deserved some happiness and agreed.'
Just a few years earlier Kasey had been a lorry driver, before she was diagnosed with the auto-immune condition Lupus.
The blood disorder complication led to a pulmonary embolism in her lungs and repeated deep vein thrombosis in her legs.
'I'd had to give up a job I loved,' she says.
'I'd always been big but the weight crept on and I hit 29st, I was on oxygen and I needed a walker.
'So I was lonely and vulnerable when I met Charles.'
In September 2014, Bates struck up a conversation and after they chatted for hours the pair agreed to meet for lunch the following day.
'He told me he'd never felt this way about anyone and my heart skipped a beat,' Kasey says.
'After lunch I said I had to get home to clean my flat and Charles offered to come and help.
'He was so persistent I let him come back and he really did help.
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'There's nothing sexier than a man who does the dishes.'
The pair ended up in bed together and the following morning Bates cooked Kasey breakfast before making an unexpected suggestion.
'He told me we should get married that day and I couldn't think of a good reason not to,' Kasey says.
'I couldn't get through to my parents beforehand but I reached my brother Tommy who called me a 'dumb a**.''
At 3pm on that Monday morning Kasey said 'I do' to Charles Bates, less than two days after they had their first conversation.
'I put the news on Facebook and my mum called me yelling,' Kasey says.
'The whole family thought I'd gone crazy but I reassured them that when they met Charles they would realise it was true love.'
Kasey says that their first 20 days of marriage were blissful.
'He was sweet and attentive and neither my health nor my weight bothered him,' she recalls.
'He told me he loved me the way I was and encouraged me to eat what I wanted.
'On one occasion he brought me ten waffles after I told him how much I like them.'
On their 21st day of marriage, Kasey went to use Bates' phone while he was out where she made a shocking discovery.
'I spotted another Facebook profile and it said he was in a relationship with a woman called Jessica,' she says.
'I called her number and told her I was his wife.
'She told me he was his girlfriend and that they'd been together two weeks and were planning to get married and have kids.
'That hurt, I couldn't have kids and Charles knew that.
'Jessica hadn't known about me and said she didn't want Charles if he was married.'
Kasey called Bates and minutes later he came home in the hope of salvaging their relationship.
'He threw himself on his knees, begging forgiveness but I told him it was over,' Kasey says.
Kasey called a lawyer in the hope of annulling the marriage but because they had consummated their vows they couldn't.
She says: 'My middle brother Koty was getting married.
'I didn't want to go to the wedding single and hear 'told you so' from everyone.
'Charles was heartbroken at the thought of losing me so I gave him another chance.'
Life remained blissful for a while, but when the pair had been married eight months thing took a dark turn when Bates first hit Kasey.
'I had giggled just as we were getting intimate,' Kasey says.
'Charles thought I was giggling at him and punched me in the right jaw.
'Afterwards, he told me that he'd never do it again claiming that our finances were stressing him.
'Our finances were bad because he kept getting fired or quitting factory jobs.
'I was beginning to regret marrying him.'
While Kasey warned that should Bates hit her again the relationship would be over, it didn't take long for things to turn violent again.
Five months later, in October 2015 Bates arrived home from work early after quitting another job.
'He screamed at me for not doing any cleaning,' Kasey says.
'I ignored him as I was still on oxygen and using the walker so hadn't been able to do much.
'Charles clipped me on the back of the head and flipped our coffee table over.
'He accused me of cheating because I was scrolling on my phone.
'The accusation was so ridiculous, something snapped in me.'
Kasey calmly requested a divorce but Bates wasn't quite as calm.
'He told me we would have to split everything in half before snapping a picture in half and throwing it at me,' she recalls.
'When I didn't react, he got even angrier and suddenly punched me in the face, it exploded in pain.
'He'd been doing maintenance work on our home and there were 2x6 lengths of timber stacked in the living room.
'He slammed one across my head, then my neck, ear and side.
'I screamed for help, nobody came.'
Bates continued to rain punches down on Kasey's face in a horrific attack that she claims lasted for hours.
'He hit me so hard and for so long he wore himself out and had to rest,' she says.
'Then he yelled at me before starting up again.
Kasey was trapped on the couch with her dachshund-corgi cross Yoda.
'Charles went into the kitchen and returned with a 12-inch carving knife,' she recalls.
'I thought he didn't have it in him to stab me to death but he's stupid enough to end up beating me to death.
Domestic abuse - how to get help
DOMESTIC abuse can affect anyone - including men - and does not always involve physical violence.
Here are some signs that you could be in an abusive relationship:
Emotional abuse - Including being belittled, blamed for the abuse - gaslighting - being isolated from family and friends, having no control over your finances, what you where and who you speak to
Threats and intimidation - Some partners might threaten to kill or hurt you, destroy your belongings, stalk or harass you
Physical abuse - This can range from slapping or hitting to being shoved over, choked or bitten.
Sexual abuse - Being touched in a way you do not want to be touched, hurt during sex, pressured into sex or forced to have sex when you do not consent.
If any of the above apply to you or a friend, you can call these numbers:
Remember, you are not alone.
1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men will experience domestic abuse over the course of their lifetime.
Every 30 seconds the police receive a call for help relating to domestic abuse.
'I told him that if he continued I'd die and for a moment he paused, then just got a smaller knife.
'He thrust it into my right side and slashed at my body, my weight saved me as the blade only went in an inch.'
It was then that Bates grabbed Yoda, putting the knife to the dog's throat.
'I loved that little dog, It was the last straw,' Kasey says.
'I'd been beaten and abused for four-and-half hours.'
Kasey launched herself at Bates, using her weight to her advantage and removing the knife out of his hands.
'He'd recently had surgery to repair tendons in his right arm and knee and I put all my weight on them,' Kasey says.
'He screamed that I broke his leg and his arm.
'I told him that if he drove us both to the hospital I would lie for him.'
Kasey drifted in and out of consciousness as they made the journey to the hospital.
'Charles told me to say I was jumped by a group of men but the ER nurses suspected the story,' she says.
'When the nurses told him to go and make a call to the police, I confessed everything.'
Police arrested Bates at the hospital.
Kasey had been left with a fractured nose and eye sockets, a minor stab wound, lacerations, and numerous bruises.
Bates was held in custody and charged with serious domestic violence assault, unlawful imprisonment, and other charges.
'I told the prosecutor that I was OK with lesser charges if he got mental health treatment,' she says.
I'd been beaten and abused for four-and-half hours
Kasey Wolfe
In May 2016, after seven months in custody, Bates admitted lower-level assault, threats, unlawful imprisonment, and wanton endangerment.
He was released on 10 years' probation, five years closely supervised.
In September he stopped going to probation appointments.
For three-and-half years he dodged the authorities before he was caught in January 2020.
He'd broken probation but was released after just six days.
Covid hit in March that year, closing the courts, and then Bates was diagnosed with testicular cancer. No further action was taken against him.
Kasey has since channelled her anger into becoming a campaigner against domestic violence.
'I've been interviewed on a podcast, given a speech at a rally and help victims flee violent men,' she says.
'Though I've lost weight, at 26 stone I'm still big enough to make most men think twice when I turn up and help an abused partner flee.
'Enough time has passed that I can even see the funny side about our speedy marriage, and my dream is to be a stand-up comedian, using my own love life as inspiration.
'Through comedy I'll ridicule those inadequate men like Charles who beat women.'
