5 days ago
Travel tales: Making lifelong friends across the globe
'There are no strangers here; only friends you haven't yet met' – so goes the old adage often wrongly attributed to Irish poet William Butler Yeats.
Regardless of who birthed the axiom, it is an optimistic reminder that friends can be made anywhere, as long as you make the effort of creating meaningful connections with others.
Malaysian traveller Kavinah Maniam, 36, has a personal anecdote that resonates with the sentiment. While every travel friendship is special, she says, this particular one that bloomed during a Vipassana retreat in India's Kolkata city in 2020 truly stands out.
'I met someone from Arunachal Pradesh who later invited me to her home in Ziro Valley. Her tribe is Apatani.
'They welcomed me like family. Until today, I'm still 'family' to them. That experience stays close to my heart,' she shares.
This little tale illustrates how travelling is among the best ways to expand one's social circle. Gaining new friends while exploring a new destination; no doubt you will return home enriched. Better still when these friendships continue to develop and strengthen long after you are cities, countries or even continents apart.
As someone who travels frequently and has seen various parts of the world – from South-East Asia to the Middle East and Europe – Kavinah has grown accustomed to making new friends wherever she goes.
She finds it easy, perhaps because she 'smiles a lot', as she cheekily admits. 'But honestly, I don't know why, people just tend to talk to me. Maybe it's the energy I carry around and people just 'adopt' me because I'm alone,' Kavinah explains.
Venese (second from right) with the new friends he made while travelling in Berlin. — VENESE RENGASAMY
This goes to show that travelling solo does not equate to loneliness. Fellow Malaysian traveller Venese Rengasamy, 29, concurs. Venese loves travelling on his own too, and finds befriending others while on the go fairly easy.
'I find it easy because my travel itineraries usually involve attending events that are relevant to my work. By attending these events, I am bound to meet new people around the globe,' says the freelance designer.
'If you align your interests with your travel plans, making new friends may be easier than you'd think,' he adds.
Planning trips that revolve around one's interest is something that Linh Nguyen, a 26-year-old animator from Vietnam, definitely understands. Because for Nguyen, she mostly travels for concerts, including those held in Malaysia.
'I go to Malaysia at least once a year. Usually it's for concerts, or to visit my best friend ... and her cat that I love dearly.
'There are times when I travel to help my friends with their booth at art festivals too,' Nguyen says.
Describing herself as someone who talks easily with anyone, she often connects with others simply by making small talks with people at the coffee shop or at the exhibition and concerts she goes to.
Breaking the ice
Fans distributing little packs of candy – sometimes with cute fan-made stickers and keychains – is not an uncommon sight at concerts. Nguyen has taken to doing the same thing.
'Before this, I felt very shy doing that, but seeing people happy when they received my freebies encouraged me a lot,' she admits.
It's turned into a great conversation starter for her, and with it she's been able to connect with her fellow concert-goers and find friends who share the same interest.
Going to concerts is one way Nguyen (back, holding a plushie) makes new friends. — LINH NGUYEN
'There's also a time when I made friends by drawing the stage before the concert started, and the fan beside me just started a conversation with me,' she says.
But Nguyen's propensity to befriend other concert-goers is not restricted to within the event's venue. She even made friends on the plane once '... because they were also going to see the same concert like me!'
For Venese, he goes out of his way to attend events and activities that interest him. 'I muster up the courage to initiate conversations with people and see where it goes from there,' he says.
On his travels to places across Asia and Europe, like Vietnam, Spain and Scotland, Venese would usually find new friends among the locals. As he puts it: 'They know where the good stuff is.'
A memorable experience in Tainan, Taiwan exemplifies this. His decision to join a local group of cyclists resulted in him enjoying a beautiful evening somewhere he wouldn't have ended up if it weren't for the adventure.
'I randomly joined a cycling club because ... why not? I enjoy cycling after all,' he says.
'I decided to tag along with a group of cyclists to cycle to another city that was roughly 100km away from where I was, and the final destination was a simple beach.
'The whole journey was a memorable one. The friends I made, the beach, the moonlight, the sea breeze, the lighthouse – it was an experience that I will always remember fondly.'
Venese (left) enjoys befriending locals when travelling. — VENESE RENGASAMY
Kavinah, too, loves making friends with the locals whenever possible. She explains: 'There's so much to learn from them. But it's not always easy, so I keep an open mind and connect with anyone who's lived in the city; locals or anyone that crosses the path.
'I don't consciously try to make friends, but I do put myself in spaces where connection is possible.'
Kavinah says she sometimes uses specific apps and social media platforms too.
'I use the Couchsurfing app where I can hang out with people who are travelling in the same place, or meet up with locals that want to show their city to tourists.
'I'm also part of the Host A Sister group on Facebook.'
With her diverse interests, which include hiking, wandering through cities, people-watching at cafes, visiting archaeological museums, and learning about local food and the locals' everyday life, meeting new people is inevitable for Kavinah.
Future trips together
Once she's built a connection with them, Kavinah stays in touch with her new friends via social media. Instagram is the main platform used by both Kavinah and Venese. Nguyen uses it too, alongside X (or Twitter, as many users still call it).
'Sometimes I like or reply to my friends' tweets, and they like my Instagram stories back. It's just our simple way of keeping each other updated,' says Nguyen.
Her love of music and concerts has led to her forming many fun-filled friendships, but there is one instance of this that she will never forget.
It was the time when she and her best friend had planned to go to Manila, the Philippines for a Day6 concert. Upon learning that the tickets had sold out, they decided to catch the Korean band live in Bangkok, Thailand instead.
She not only managed to see the band, but also gained three new friends through the trip. It was because another three fans, who were already familiar with her best friend, asked to join them on the concert trip.
That was how the five music lovers ended up going together; while in Bangkok, the little group also had fun roaming the streets and cafe hopping.
'I was disappointed when I couldn't get the ticket for the Manila concert, but looking back, I consider it a blessing in disguise. Without it, I wouldn't have had that Bangkok trip and get to start this beautiful friendship,' Nguyen expresses.
'I've had a few more trips with the friends I made, and we all enjoyed it so much that we kept planning for more.
'When we meet, we always talk about where we want to go next, or which upcoming concerts to check out. So, there's definitely always a trip in the future,' she adds.
Meanwhile, Kavinah says that she has also travelled with many friends she's met through her journeys.
There can sometimes be a spontaneity to her trips, as long as she can juggle the time between her travels and her job as an integrator – 'I connect people, systems, and ideas for a living,' she explains.
'If you ask me to join you somewhere next week and my schedule allows it, I just might say yes,' she says, adding that she has no strict rules when it comes to travelling.
She most recently went on a trip to Langkawi in Kedah with her Polish friends who were, of course, fellow travellers she previously befriended.
'We've got lots of future plans. They can't wait to host me in Poland!'
Kavinah (second from left) attending a wedding in Malaysia with her mother (right) and her Polish friends. — KAVINAH MANIAM
She shares that she also recently met up with a friend from the United States. They had met in Madrid, Spain and decided to catch up when the friend stopped by Kuala Lumpur.
'Another person from India was in Penang, and coincidentally, I was home and made the time to show him around my city. Timing can be tricky, but somehow, it always works out.'
As for Venese, he shares: 'I have made friends who are from Japan, and I do plan to visit them when I travel there.'
He had met up with these friends outside of Japan before, but he would love to also travel with them in their home country.
Friendship is undeniably an important relationship to have. Hence, the International Day of Friendship is celebrated every July 30.
Humans are social beings, and having friends help greatly with one's well-being. That said, making friends can be easier said than done, especially in adulthood.
'I can understand how scary it is,' assures Venese. 'What I always try to remind myself when I am in an uncomfortable social situation is that people usually will not remember you. When you interact with a stranger, the chances of them remembering you or meeting you again are low, unless you actively keep the acquaintanceship or friendship alive.'
When it comes to making friends while travelling, he advises, 'You do not have to engage in these experiences solo like I do, as I am fortunate enough to be born as a man and have less cautionary thoughts occupying my mind as I travel.'
He said this in relation to how women always have to pay more attention to safety, especially when travelling solo.
Even while on trips with loved ones, travellers can befriend perhaps other couples or other families. Venese suggests to '... create memories with your loved ones, having memories that are shared or can be shared with is a blessing.'
Of course, that's not to say solo female travellers can't make friends while travelling, as Kavinah is living proof that it is absolutely doable.
She admits to being shy in approaching others at first, '... but I've learned to challenge myself to say yes, show up, and talk to people,' she shares.
'Everyone should try travelling solo at least once in their lifetime. You will really get to know yourself. And if you want to meet people, try Couchsurfing, Facebook groups, or staying at hostels as they've helped me build connections, both locally and internationally,' she continues.
She adds that '... even small group tours in cities that you're visiting could help you make connections on a deeper level.'
Kavinah believes that every friendship made while travelling has a lesson or perspective to offer. 'I believe we cross paths with others for a reason. Sometimes, they reflect parts of ourselves we haven't realised before.
'And, of course, there are practical perks too. For example, having local friends who become your tour guides, or getting insider tips you won't find on travel blogs.'
