4 days ago
Yes, Incarcerated Dads Can Play an Active Role in Their Children's Lives
Kervin Sygney has been at Rikers Island for 30 months and misses kissing and hugging his 4- and 10-year-olds most of all. That's one of the hardest parts about incarceration.
'When I left, my son was 2, so he's not the same person. We'll have to start over from scratch when I get out,' he says, dressed in a tan uniform to denote his status as a PIC (person in custody) awaiting trial.
In the meantime, he wants to play an active role in their lives from behind bars. But it's not easy.
'We often think of dads as being able to provide and protect. But when they're not physically present, the other contributions they can make are discounted,' says Mike Bobbitt, Deputy Commissioner of Community Development, NYC Department of Youth and Community Development (DYCD).
To help combat this stigma, the DYCD created the Fatherhood Initiative, a program launched at Rikers Island in 2024 with the goal of helping dads reconnect with their kids while developing essential parenting skills through classes and counseling.
Workshops occur twice a week in a classroom setting and cover everything from effective co-parenting to emotional regulation. Though the biggest lessons may be accepting that there's no one way to be a dad.
'It's not a cookie-cutter experience,' says Montavani, a facilitator who encourages honesty and vulnerability by sharing his own stories. 'It can be scary to put yourself out there,' he says. 'But there's a baseline understanding that we're in a safe space trying to figure out what fatherhood is about together.'
The program has inspired Kervan to get to know his children on a deeper level: 'I found out my daughter's favorite color is sage blue and my son's favorite food is pizza.'
Showing interest in his kids' likes and dislikes is helping to rebuild trust between them. He's also gotten better at navigating co-parenting dynamics.
'I was not on good terms with my children's mother, and we started to really speak because of the program,' he says. 'I want us to come together and be one for our children.'
Kervan, who only met his own dad once, is determined to be an involved father.
'I don't know how it feels to really have a dad, so that pushes me to be there for my kids,' he says. And whether he knows it or not, research shows that active paternal engagement reduces behavioral problems in children and improves their socio-emotional health.
Rikers Assistant Commissioner for Advancement and Enrichment Programs Stacey King has witnessed the program's impact during family visitation days.
'It tugs at my heartstrings to see [the dads] enjoying quality time with their children,' she says. 'It's my hope that they can use the resources provided in the workshops, even post-discharge, to improve their parental relationships.'
Kervan is certainly counting down the days until he's out of Rikers. The first item on his agenda?
'There's gonna be lots of hugs and kisses,' he says.
Read the original article on Parents
