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Boston Globe

Is it an office romance if it started with a BCC email?

My friend pointed out that I was BCC'd. My heart sank as I realized the email must have gone out to multiple other women at the same time. It seems like they were hedging their bets for a date. Should I still go on the date and confront them? Would I ever be able to find out who else received the email? ANONYMOUS Related : A. It's possible the person BCC'd just you . (Not likely, I'd think, but maybe.) Advertisement It's also possible that 10 people got that email. Regardless, if you want to date this former co-worker, why not follow up? You can ask them the most basic question: 'Can you tell me why I was BCC'd?' Maybe there's a good (or interesting) reason. Instead of filling in the gaps of this story, see what's what. Maybe they won't even respond, which would give you some closure. The thing is, if I were leaving an office and wanted to see who wanted to date me, I'd send separate emails to all of my crushes, just to make each one seem personal. One big BCC email seems like it would lead to unnecessary mess — and questions like yours! What's the incentive to do it this way? Advertisement Maybe this person loves emotional chaos. But you've liked them for a reason, right? Does this match what you know about them? I'm all for getting answers, to the extent you can. Ask and confront (calmly). If something sounds fishy, you can drop the whole thing. And if you don't mind chaos, you could ask around to see if anyone else got this message. But I wouldn't recommend it. It's the office, after all. MEREDITH Related : READERS RESPOND: Since you already were interested, it might be worth a reply. See how things go without getting your hopes up too much. Are you sure there's really romantic interest? Or was it just 'I'd like to stay in touch so maybe we can hang out sometime?' That might explain why he might have sent it to multiple people. LEGALLYLIZ2017 There could be many weird reasons for a BCC. Perhaps they sent the message to a personal account to retain a list of contacts. PENSUSE Dude's got game. Not very good game, but game nonetheless. BLISTERED-TOE You'll never know what the reason was if you don't ask. And what better time to ask then during your first date? You may find out your co-worker isn't too bright and thinks 'bcc' means encrypted or something. Or he (because this would definitely be a guy move) decided to shoot his shot with a few people. All that being said, did he send it from his work email or personal email? Hopefully personal because otherwise, how are you going to respond? THE-BLOG-CONSIGLIERIE Hard to give advice without clarification on the email. Did it have YOUR name in the email … like, 'hey Sue, you want to go out'? OR, did it not have your name? Advertisement BKLYNMOM Occam's Razor here. Maybe this guy just isn't very tech smart. But if you like him, why not just go on a date? EMPRESSETHEL To Whom It May Concern: I've always found you to be smart, and attractive. Now that I am leaving the organization, I would love to get to know you more and see if we have a connection outside of work. If you feel the same way, I'd love to take you to dinner at your favorite restaurant. Please acknowledge upon receipt. Sincerely, Your soon to be former colleague, in admiration. cc: me bcc: all the hotties at this dump. MAKATTACK Send your own relationship and dating questions to or Catch new episodes of wherever you listen to podcasts. Column and comments are edited and reprinted from .