Latest news with #LetGrow
Yahoo
2 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Child Protective Services Investigated Her 4 Times Because She Let Her Kids Play Outside
Parenting expectations are often unreasonably high—and so is the number of people who believe that kids can't handle anything on their own. Passersby too often see an unsupervised child and assume they are unsafe. So they call the authorities, who also often share those super-sized fears. Then parents get investigated simply for trusting their kids with some age-appropriate, location-appropriate independence. Because of this frustrating cycle, I frequently get letters like the one below. When people ask why I spend so much time trying to pass Reasonable Childhood Independence laws, it's for people like Emily Fields and her children. Fields is a mom in small-town Virginia who responded to my nonprofit Let Grow's call for parents willing to speak to child protective services about why such laws are necessary. (Virginia unanimously passed its Reasonable Childhood Independence law in 2023.) This letter is presented as a stark example of how little trust our country has in its parents and children anymore—and how misanthropic neighbors can weaponize the state at will. *** Myself, my husband, and our three children (currently aged 12, 11, and 9) moved to southwest Virginia in 2017 when the kids were 4, 3, and 7 months. When my youngest began walking, I would let the three of them play in the backyard in our small, rural community while I would garden or read outdoors. There are no forested areas, and four unfenced yards all meet together with ours. Our new neighbors said the kids were welcome to play in their yards as well. In spring 2018 (our kids then aged 5, 4, and 18 months), we received our first visit from child protective services (CPS). A neighbor called to report that my children were unsupervised and that I was allowing a baby to climb the front porch steps by himself. I laughed and gestured at my toddler and said, "Yes, he is allowed to walk up the steps, I admit it!" That one did not result in a formal investigation being opened, but they did investigate our home for food, bugs, toys, etc. In late 2019 (the kids now 6, 5, and 3), we had our second visit from CPS, again alleging that the children were inadequately supervised because they were allowed to play in our yard and in the yards of our neighbors. This one did result in a formal investigation, and I was told people would be driving by our house periodically to make sure I was supervising the kids as they played. During that visit, I was told that children could never be left alone, inside or outside the home—EVEN IN THEIR OWN BEDROOMS—until they were 13 years old. Social Services said specifically that I had to be in each room with them at all times until they were 13. That investigation ended without incident. Our third CPS visit happened in May 2021 (ages 8, 6, and 4). This one was the result of a specific (adult-supervised!) incident, with a bitter neighbor trying to make our lives hard by using the government as a weapon. She again alleged inadequate supervision, claimed the children were allowed to wander all over the neighborhood, and said they tried to enter strangers' homes. She included an accusation that we permit the children to abuse animals. During this visit, the social services worker acknowledged that our home was clean, that the children were happy, well-fed, polite, and well-spoken, but said the children had to be supervised 100 percent of the time when outdoors. When I asked what constitutes supervision, she said that I had to be visible to my neighbors when the kids were outside, regardless of whether or not I could see the children. I asked where that was found in the Virginia law. She replied that it isn't in the Virginia law, but that Social Services has its own set of rules. They came up with a written action plan and required all adults in the house to sign it (which included my sister at the time), saying that the children would be supervised. My husband and sister were very frightened that the situation would escalate due to small-town politics (the person who reported us had previously been a law enforcement officer and was well known in the community), so we all signed. This investigation was again closed. That last visit was when I knew I had to get involved with Let Grow to change the laws in Virginia. I was already familiar with their work, which is partly why we had these run-ins with CPS. I was practicing "masterly inactivity"—watching from a distance and letting my kids make decisions and learn how the world works, intervening only when necessary to keep them safe. I believe my children have a right to independence. They have never been seriously hurt and have never hurt anyone (or anything) in their practice of independence. But their right to practice it was challenged over and over again. One afternoon shortly after getting in touch with Let Grow, my children were playing outdoors on our neighbors' hill, a place they are allowed to play. Another neighbor (who does not own the hill) stopped in the street and called them over to her. She told them they couldn't play there and that they had to go home. The children told her they did not have to go home and that they had their parents' and the property owner's express permission to play there. She was immediately upset that they were talking back to her and asked if she was going to have to "call the police and get your parents in trouble." This obviously scared the children, and they began to walk home, in tears. Meanwhile, I was standing at the kitchen window watching the kids talk to a neighbor, not understanding what was happening until I saw one child visibly upset. I immediately walked out of the house, and the neighbor (who, coincidentally, is a social worker) drove off without speaking to me about her concerns. Since that time, even with the legislation we helped to pass, my kids are hesitant to exercise their independence. Few people know that parents have the right to decide what their children are capable of handling. I have equipped my kids with a "license" that they keep on them when they roam our small, rural neighborhood. It says across the top in big, bold letters "MY PARENTS KNOW I'M HERE" and includes information about SB1367 (Virginia's Reasonable Childhood Independence law) as well as my name and phone number. My children have been stopped by neighbors, produced their license, and thankfully were then left unbothered. As they age, their confidence and understanding grow, and they venture further and further out with the assurance that they have the right to walk and bike the streets of our neighborhood just as much as the adults they see exercising every day. My children and their friends benefit greatly from being allowed independence and from organizations that fight to protect that right. The post Child Protective Services Investigated Her 4 Times Because She Let Her Kids Play Outside appeared first on Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
5 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Kids Don't Want Screens—They Want Freedom
Kids love being on their phones and would rather do that than anything else. Right? New research finds that this is a myth. Children reported that what they really want to do is hang out with friends in real life—with no adults hovering and no screens. Kids go online because that's generally the only place they can meet up and have fun without constant adult supervision. Being glued to screens is their default, not their desire. In an August 4 Atlantic piece I cowrote with Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation (and my Let Grow cofounder), and Zach Rausch, director of the Tech and Society Research Lab at New York University, we discuss the survey we conducted with The Harris Poll. We asked 500 kids aged 8 to 12 to pick their favorite way to spend time with friends. The choices were: unstructured play, like pick-up basketball or exploring the neighborhood; adult-led activities, like ballet or soccer; and socializing online. The results surprised many people. It wasn't even close: kids want to meet up in person. No tutus, no trophies, no internet—and no adults! Basically, our kids want an old-fashioned, free-range childhood. But the survey also told us that this is almost an impossible dream, because kids are rarely allowed any free, unsupervised time. We found that: Most kids are not allowed to be without an adult in public spaces (streets, parks, playgrounds, stores). Most kids have rarely or never walked around without an adult. Fewer than half of the 8- and 9-year-olds have been to another aisle at the grocery store on their own. More than a quarter of the 8- and 9-year-olds—and 1 in 5 of the older kids—aren't even allowed to play in their own front yard alone. Our kids are growing up on lockdown. Their childhoods are strangely adult when it comes to tech, and infantilized when it comes to real life. The poll found that more 8- and 9-year-olds have talked to an artificial intelligence chatbot than have ever used a sharp knife. Perhaps unexpectedly, we don't blame parents for this. We blame the fears, social norms, and laws that have made micromanagement seem like a wise way to raise kids. But is it? Kids are more depressed than ever, according to the surgeon general. The same is true for parents. Today's childhood isn't working well for anyone. The saving grace for kids—and the thing driving adults crazy—is that one escape hatch beckons: the screen. Kids who have never been to a store on their own can conquer entire kingdoms online and connect with school friends and people in other countries alike. We nag at children to get off their devices, but why would they? We give them so few real-life alternatives. But if we would step back and let them step up and out, kids would be engaged with the world outside their door. Nearly three-quarters of the kids in the Harris survey agreed they "would spend less time online if there were more friends in my neighborhood to play with in person." Obviously, technology is attractive. But kids have a strong, almost evolutionary desire to play and roam—the way most of us adults did. Let Grow, the nonprofit I helm, is dedicated to making that kind of childhood easy, normal, and legal again. Our free programs for schools and parents encourage real-world independence and free play. And the Reasonable Childhood Independence laws we've helped pass in 11 states affirm the right of kids to play outside, walk to school, etc., without their parents being investigated for neglect. It's not fair to blame kids for being online when we don't let them go almost anywhere else. As we said in The Atlantic piece, "If parents want their kids to put down their phones, they need to start opening the front door." The post Kids Don't Want Screens—They Want Freedom appeared first on Solve the daily Crossword
New York Times
05-07-2025
- General
- New York Times
Efficiency Is an Ultimately Empty and Unattainable Life Goal
An app nearly prevented me from picking up my own child this week. My younger daughter's day camp has a convoluted, high-tech authorization system. Before camp started, I needed to log into its website, download an auto-generated code and activate it. When I meet the bus, I type my code into a counselor's phone. In the best of circumstances, this is an extra — and to me, unnecessary — step. As Let Grow, a nonprofit supporting childhood independence, points out, a child is five times more likely to have a conjoined twin than to be kidnapped by a stranger. But on Monday, the app wasn't working. I observed an increasingly frantic and sweaty counselor (not equipped with a backup paper version of the codes) try to deal with an angry line of guardians, the honking city traffic behind the bus and a passel of grumpy, tired children who just wanted to go home. After some negotiation we were allowed to grab our kids, just this once, without the app's say-so. But it was a glaring and painful example of 'enshittification' — the degrading over time of service on tech platforms. The bus incident also represented something else: the failed promise of technology to make our lives more efficient and the ultimate emptiness of peak 'efficiency' as a buzzword or an organizing principle of modern life. New technology — from a sewing machine to an A.I.-enabled assistant — is often sold with the promise of speed. The idea is that the drudgery will happen more quickly, so you'll have more time to devote to the things that 'really matter': the more satisfying, creative parts of a job or more time for friends, family or leisure. But we have had granular time-use data from the American Time Use Survey for the past 20 years. The A.T.U.S. suggests that even as we have tiny computers in our pockets that swear they can save us from tedious tasks, the way Americans work has barely shifted even as technology has rapidly evolved. If anything, we spend more time doing domestic work and roughly the same amount of time doing paid labor. Want all of The Times? Subscribe.
Yahoo
26-03-2025
- Politics
- Yahoo
Georgia Backs Bill To Reaffirm Independent Kids, Protect Free-Range Parents
A few months after Georgia mother Brittany Patterson was arrested for not knowing that her son, age 10, had walked to the store on his own, the state passed a Reasonable Childhood Independence law. It now goes to the governor for signing. The bill clarifies that "neglect" is only when you put your child in serious, obvious danger—not anytime you take your eyes off them. This protects against the modern-day helicopter parenting norms that have made passersby—and, sometimes, state officials— insist that children of almost any age need constant adult supervision. Patterson was arrested and handcuffed in her home, in front of three of her children, after police objected to her decision to let the 10-year-old walk to the nearby town by himself. (Mineral Bluff: population 370.) When she asked the sheriff's deputy why she was under arrest, he replied, "for reckless endangerment." Jesse Weathington, a Georgia lobbyist, heard this story and contacted Let Grow, the nonprofit I co-founded to make childhood independence easy, normal, and legal. He wanted to help pass a Reasonable Childhood Independence law in his state. "The state should let parents be parents and kids be kids," says Weathington. "This bill will let kids today have the freedom and independence we enjoyed growing up." David DeLugas, executive director of the National Association of Parents and attorney for Patterson, says that authorities should generally avoid taking action unless a child appears to be hurt, in distress, or in imminent danger from an identifiable source. "Some people think that this is not one of those things that's super important—until you're affected by it," he says, noting that Patterson's kids "have been pretty traumatized by the whole ordeal." State Sens. Jason Anavitarte (R–Dallas), Randy Robertson (R–Catuala), Kay Kirkpatrick (R–Marietta), Jason Esteves (D–Atlanta), and Eddie Lumsden (R–Armuchee) all sponsored the bill, which garnered bipartisan support, as it has in every state. That's because no matter what a person's politics might be, nobody wants their everyday parenting decisions—some perfect, some seat-of-the-pants—second-guessed by the government. Previously, two Georgia cases besides Patterson's had made headlines for similar reasons. In one case, Melissa Henderson, a mother of five, was arrested after she had her 14-year-old daughter babysit her four younger siblings. This was early in the pandemic when Henderson needed to work, and COVID-19 had suddenly shuttered the daycare center and schools. Her 4-year-old wandered outside to play with a neighbor and the neighbor's mom called the cops. Police handcuffed Henderson and threw her in jail. The cops said that the child, who was outside for a couple of minutes, could have been bitten by a "venomous snake." Henderson, too, was represented by DeLugas. Three years later, the court ruled in her favor. Meanwhile, in 2018, Beth Widner, a mother of four, was visited by the cops and child protective services after her 7-year-old, riding his bike home from swimming practice, stopped at the local grocery for a free cookie. Someone saw him unsupervised and called 911. When the parents asked child services which specific law they had broken, the caseworker said she didn't have it written down. Well, now the law is written down: Georgia's Senate Bill 110 states it is not neglect to trust your child with some reasonable childhood independence. Once signed by the governor, the new law will "put Georgia in the excellent company of the eight other states that have recognized that we need some guardrails to protect families from misunderstanding what is and isn't neglect," says Let Grow's legal consultant, Diane Redleaf. "It also helps the state focus on the kids who really need its protection." The post Georgia Backs Bill To Reaffirm Independent Kids, Protect Free-Range Parents appeared first on
Yahoo
27-01-2025
- Politics
- Yahoo
Utah Resolution Would Encourage More Free-Range Parenting
In 2018, Utah became the first state to pass what was then called a Free-Range Kids law. Since then, seven other states have followed suit, passing what are now known as "Reasonable Childhood Independence" bills. Now Utah is preparing to lead the way again. In the next few days, the state Senate will consider a resolution that just passed out of committee, and calls for an expansion of free-range parenting. The resolution "highlights the importance of free play and child independence," "supports children engaging in independent activities," and "encourages school districts, school administrators, and teachers to utilize the Let Grow school program to help build independence." Let Grow is the nonprofit I cofounded in order to help parents, educators, and policymakers teach kids resiliency by staying out of the way. Kids who walk to school by themselves, take on a new activity on their own, or organize a game with friends—without the input of adults—are less likely to become fragile, sheltered, and fearful of social situations. The Utah resolution's purpose is to ask local educators and policymakers to clear away any obstacles that prevent kids from enjoying free and independent play. Its sponsor is state Sen. Lincoln Fillmore (R–Salt Lake), who successfully championed the initial Free-Range Kids bill. "It really just asks schools to work more childhood independence and play into their plans," Fillmore tells Reason. "Make childhood great again." Resolutions are not binding, which means that schools will not be forced to make any changes. Fillmore's hope is that the resolution will call attention to the positive benefits of unstructured free time for kids—connecting the dots between the decades-long decline in childhood independence and the concurrent decline in children's mental health. Reversing this trend means restoring kids' free play rights. Let Grow's two school programs—both free—are aimed at accomplishing exactly this. The Let Grow Experience is a homework assignment that instructs kids to go home and complete a new activity with their parents' permission, but not with their assistance. This helps both generations see just how much the kids can do on their own. It's a great anxiety buster. Meanwhile, the Let Grow Play Club asks schools to stay open for no-phones free play—all kids, all ages—before and after school. An adult supervises like a lifeguard, but doesn't organize the games or solve the spats. Think of it as a wildlife preserve for old-fashioned, face-to-face playtime. The post Utah Resolution Would Encourage More Free-Range Parenting appeared first on
