Latest news with #Lewiston
Yahoo
4 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
No strings? No way. The perils of being ‘friends with benefits.'
Emma Medeiros made a special friend decades ago while she was in college. Ultimately, Adam Caldow would become her best friend - and also her 'friend with benefits,' slang for a friendship that becomes sexual but not romantic. 'We wanted to lose our virginity, but neither one of us knew what we were doing, so we thought, this is a good match,' Medeiros recalled. 'We won't be embarrassed if we're with someone else who doesn't know what they're doing,' added Medeiros, who is now 44 and living in Lewiston, Maine. Subscribe to The Post Most newsletter for the most important and interesting stories from The Washington Post. From that point on, sex became part of their friendship, no strings attached. 'We really made it clear to each other, this is a physical thing,' she said. There's anecdotal evidence that Medeiros and her friend, who ultimately became her husband, aren't alone. But there's also plenty of anecdotal evidence that navigating such arrangements can be dicey. Therapists and others are quick to point out the shortfalls of such arrangements and to warn people to prepare for, at best, complications, and at worst, destroying the friendship. - - - Sweetness, boundaries Proponents say the relationships are like zero-calorie sweeteners: all the sweetness without the calories. Critics say the empty calories will come back to haunt you unless both participants set clear emotional boundaries. In Medeiros's case, she and Caldow dated other people, but after two years realized they wanted to be with each other more than anyone else. 'And thank God we did,' she said. 'The funniest thing was, when we finally did tell our friends we were a couple, not one single person was surprised. Everyone was like, well, it's about freaking time.' They got married in 2012 and have been together ever since. A study published last year in Women's Studies International Forum said such relationships are getting more popular, especially among young adults, and that casual sex may be happening more often between friends than strangers. The three psychology researchers in Portugal who wrote the study attributed that to accessibility, safety, trust, an ease in understanding one's partner's feelings, and an ability to still hang out and do friendly activities. But it's not all sunshine and noncommittal fun. Another study, from the University of Delhi, said such relationships were also 'fraught with emotional complexities, as evidenced by unexpected feelings and conflicts mirroring those in traditional romantic relationships.' 'The emotional toll of [such] relationships manifested in stress, anxiety and unhealthy coping mechanisms underscored the need for caution and self-awareness when entering such arrangements,' researchers in that study wrote. - - - Communicate or complicate Whether such a relationship will work depends a lot on the context for it, said Shay Thomas, a licensed marriage and family therapist in Atlanta. A successful relationship depends on the participants' motivations and how aligned they are. It also requires impeccable communication. 'Is each person deciding to do this because they're going through a dry spell, or is this some kind of reactive rebound situation? Is it a decision related to avoiding intimacy? Or maybe you don't have time for a relationship, but you want to enjoy sex from a pleasure standpoint,' Thomas said. Ultimately, she said she doesn't believe the relationships have staying power: 'By and large, I believe it's more likely to cause complications and heartbreak and confusion and kind of rupture the friendship.' Tracey Laszloffy, a marriage and family therapist in North Carolina and Connecticut, also doesn't believe the arrangements have a long shelf life. When they end, it's usually because one person's expectations changed, Laszloffy said. 'I think that happens more times than not,' she said. 'The problem is when you think you didn't want this to go any place too intense, and then you find that changes. And then jealousy starts to creep in, and you're thinking, 'That wasn't where I thought we were going with this.'' While anyone can start having feelings for a friend, Laszloffy has seen more women than men get emotionally invested. And then you have people like Natasha Ho. In her case, her former friend with benefits is still a friend - though there are no 'benefits' now - but it took years to get to that stage. While they were still in the benefits stage, there was a period when Ho wondered whether they should start a romantic relationship, but her friend didn't feel the same - and then when she moved on, the friend became jealous and angry and the friendship soured. 'There were a lot of great qualities that I enjoyed about him, but I think the timing just never was there for us to actually be in a committed romantic relationship. And then I found someone that I had the right relationship with, and the timing was right, and the personality was right and what they wanted was the same thing that I wanted,' said Ho, 38, who lives in Tacoma, Washington. She wanted children while her friend did not, she said. He changed jobs frequently, while she craved stability, she said. 'When I look back at it now, I realize that in terms of long-term goals and lifestyle, those kinds of things, we didn't have that compatibility there. We had great friendship compatibility, but in terms of the kind of life we were trying to build long term, we didn't have that,' she said. It took her three attempts over three years to rekindle the friendship. It wasn't until her friend reached out to her four years later that they were able to reconnect. He's even going on a vacation with her, along with her husband and two children. One of the main reasons relationships end is because one or the other has started dating someone, said Laszloffy. 'They've met someone, and they're interested in going in a different direction, and they feel like, now I'm ready for a committed relationship, and so I'm just moving on,' she said. - - - When one party catches 'feelings' Friends-with-benefits relationships can't last because they're unrealistic, said Tracy Margolin, a licensed family therapist in Stamford, Connecticut. There's too much of the good stuff and not any of the hard stuff, like expressing feelings and being allowed to have expectations, she added. With friendship, there is some responsibility, and with responsibility can come expectations and hurt feelings. 'If I told you I was going to call you tomorrow and I don't, you're going to be disappointed. Are you telling me in a friends-with-benefits relationship, you're not allowed to be disappointed because I told you I didn't want anything serious?' she said. 'That's not going to work because somebody will catch feelings. Or there will be resentments.' But more than that, she asked, what does a friends-with-benefits relationship solve, and why would someone want that kind of relationship? 'If the problem is, I'm not ready to get in a relationship, well at some point, you will be. So then that didn't solve it,' she said. 'I mean, is a friends-with-benefits relationship like a ramp up to see if you're ready, and then you say, well, now thanks for that. I'm healed from my past hurts. Bye. Bye?' Relationships are always going to tend toward something, whether it's an ending or the beginning of something romantic, Margolin said. 'I think it's human nature to want to move forward. Nothing can stand still. Nothing is in a vacuum,' she said. 'Could it serve a purpose for a while? Sure. Will it solve a problem for a while? Yes. Can they endure the long haul? I don't think so.' Related Content Hulk Hogan was a well-known Trump supporter. Their ties go back 40 years. 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Washington Post
5 days ago
- Entertainment
- Washington Post
No strings? No way. The perils of being ‘friends with benefits.'
Emma Medeiros made a special friend decades ago while she was in college. Ultimately, Adam Caldow would become her best friend — and also her 'friend with benefits,' slang for a friendship that becomes sexual but not romantic. 'We wanted to lose our virginity, but neither one of us knew what we were doing, so we thought, this is a good match,' Medeiros recalled. 'We won't be embarrassed if we're with someone else who doesn't know what they're doing,' added Medeiros, who is now 44 and living in Lewiston, Maine.
Yahoo
23-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Manhattan Project waste materials in Lewiston being moved to Texas
BUFFALO, N.Y. (WIVB) — Shipments of radioactive waste in Lewiston that is left over from the Manhattan Project are being sent to Texas, officials confirmed to WIVB News 4 on Tuesday. The materials are being trucked from Lewiston to Buffalo and then being taken by train to Andrews, Texas, near the New Mexico state line. The U.S. Army Corps of Engineers said the transportation began last week. The radioactive waste has been at a 191-acre site off of Pletcher Road and contains roughly 6,000 cubic yards of soil along with around 4,000 gallons of contaminated groundwater. The area sits roughly a mile and a half east of Lewiston Porter Schools. Nuclear waste from Oppenheimer's Manhattan Project to be removed from WNY site According to News 4 Investigates reporting from 2024, the cost is projected at several hundred millions of dollars and could take more than a decade. Future phases include removing 250,000 cubic yards of waste and residue from the Interim Waste Containment Structure (IWCS), and underground vault. Prep work for removal of Manhattan Project-era radioactive waste begins in Lewiston The waste materials were supposed to be sent to Michigan, but a judge halted the shipments last year. The materials are left over from the top-secret World War II project to develop the world's first atomic bomb. The Niagara Falls Storage Site was used by the Manhattan Engineer District to store radioactive residues and wastes from uranium ore processing beginning in 1944, according to the Army Corps of Engineers. Waste materials continued to be brought to the site until 1952. Initial cleanup began in 1986. Latest Local News Woman warns others to stay vigilant in viral video following incident on Niagara Falls bike path Former North Carolina superintendent named Buffalo Public Schools superintendent Manhattan Project waste materials in Lewiston being moved to Texas Bills bringing back red helmets for last regular season game at Highmark 2 suffer life-threatening injuries in Amherst crash Aidan Joly joined the News 4 staff in 2022. He is a graduate of Canisius College. You can see more of his work here. Copyright 2025 Nexstar Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Solve the daily Crossword
Yahoo
02-07-2025
- Politics
- Yahoo
Wendy Guild Swearingen announces candidacy for Lewiston town clerk
Wendy Guild Swearingen has announced she will be running for Lewiston Town Clerk in this November's general election. She will be running on the Democratic and Working Families party lines. 'I'm running for town clerk because I want to continue serving my community. I believe in transparency, accessibility and friendly, efficient service — and I am committed to bringing those values to town hall every single day,' Swearingen said in a release announcing her candidacy. 'It is often the first point of contact for residents, and I intend to make it a welcoming, helpful, and well-organized resource for all, while adhering to state and local laws and regulations as written.' Swearingen's previous public experience includes a three-year term on the Lewiston-Porter School Board, six years on the Friends of Youngstown Library Board, and 13 years on the Orleans-Niagara BOCES Board. She is currently the secretary of the Lewiston Public Library board of trustees and a volunteer of the Lewiston Council on the Arts. Her work experience includes being a senior editor for Buffalo Spree magazine, a publications coordinator for Harvard Business School, and a library secretary and program assistant at Cornell University. In 2019, Swearingen ran an unsuccessful campaign as an Independent for the Niagara County Legislature's 1st District seat, which Republican Irene Myers won. In the recent town Republican primary vote for town clerk/tax collector, Tamara Burns won with 529 votes over Amy Smith's 420 votes. Smith was appointed as clerk in October 2024 after previous clerk Donna Garfinkel retired with two years remaining on her four-year term.
Yahoo
07-06-2025
- Yahoo
Lewiston Party House defendant seeks dismissal
The man who previously pleaded guilty to charges of providing booze and pot to teenagers in a Mountain View Drive home that became known as the 'Lewiston Party House' is asking to have his case dismissed. Gary Sullo, 58, has appealed to Niagara County Court Judge John Ottaviano, asking to have the charges he has already admitted to — and been sentenced for — thrown out because he claims his constitutional rights to a speedy trial were denied. Lawyers for Sullo and Niagara County District Attorney Brian Seaman argued the appeal before Ottaviano on Wednesday. Defense attorney Jessica Kulpit told the judge that after Sullo was first charged in 2018 it took '4 years, 9 months and 8 days' to resolve his case. 'There is no universe I can think of where it takes 5 years to resolve a misdemeanor case,' Kulpit said. While admitting that proceedings in the case were impacted by restrictions imposed as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic, Kulpit insisted that 'the Town of Lewiston Court did nothing, without explanation, the court did nothing (to advance the case). This is a deprivation of constitutional rights.' Sullo was sentenced by Lewiston Town Justice Hugh Gee to three years probation for his guilty plea to misdemeanor charges for providing alcohol and marijuana to teenagers in the home he shared with his late wife Tricia Vacanti, who was also originally charged in the case. His sentencing came more than six years after the first reports of booze and drug-fueled teenage parties at the home. Sullo was charged with multiple counts of endangering the welfare of a child and unlawful dealing with a child but ultimately pleaded guilty to just two counts of endangering the welfare of a child in a deal with Niagara County prosecutors. At the time of that deal, Sullo had filed a motion in Lewiston court to have the case dismissed, arguing that his speedy trial rights had been violated. Before prosecutors could respond to that motion, and before Gee could issue a ruling on it, Sullo reportedly emailed the judge and said he wanted to take the DA's plea offer. Kulpit said that despite her client's decision to take the prosecutor's offer, the request to have the case dismissed should have been ruled on in the Lewiston court. She said Sullo always expected to get a ruling. 'He took the plea believing he could still appeal,' Kulpit said. Assistant Niagara County District Attorney Laura Jordon told Ottaviano that Sullo has no right to appeal. 'The case law is clear,' Jordan told the judge. 'A guilty plea precludes a (speedy trial) appeal.' Jordan also said all of the delays in the case, before Sullo's guilty plea, were a result of either Covid restrictions or requests from his defense attorney. 'Not a single delay was attributable to the people,' Jordan said. 'The record (in the case) shows all those delays, outside of Covid, were at the defendant's request.' Sullo's sentencing followed the sentencing of the other remaining adult in the case, Jessica Long. Long, 43, was sentenced by Gee in January 2024 to six months of interim probation for her guilty plea to one count of first-degree unlawfully dealing with a child. Vacanti had faced 41 counts of unlawfully dealing with a minor and endangering the welfare of a child in connection with the house parties. But she died suddenly on July 3, 2022, and the charges against her were set aside. Specifically, Vacanti had been accused of providing booze and pot to at least three teenage girls, who later claimed they were sexually assaulted in her home by her then-teenage son, Christopher Belter. Belter was indicted, and pleaded guilty in June 2019, to felony charges of third-degree rape and attempted first-degree sexual abuse and two misdemeanor charges of second-degree sexual abuse for encounters with four teenage girls that occurred during the parties at the family's home in 2016 and 2018. In November 2021, Belter was sentenced to eight years of sex offender probation. A month later, he was classified as a Level 3 sex offender. Level 3 is the most serious classification and legally indicates a 'sexual predator.' Belter was also declared a sexually violent offender. Sullo and Vacanti were originally charged with 19 combined counts of unlawfully dealing with a minor and endangering the welfare of a child in connection with the parties at their home from 2016 to 2018. In January 2020, Niagara County prosecutors leveled an additional 22 counts of endangering and unlawful dealing against Vacanti and another eight counts of the same allegations against Sullo. Long was charged with single counts of unlawfully dealing with a minor and endangering the welfare of a child. Sullo, who now resides in Florida, was not present in court for the hearing on his appeal.
