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Yahoo
a day ago
- Entertainment
- Yahoo
80 Funny Dad Quotes for Serious Laughs
Being a dad can be as hilarious as it is rewarding, and funny dad quotes show what it's like to be in the trenches of fatherhood. You can use these on greeting cards for Father's Day or birthdays, add them to social media posts, and share them with friends. Trust us. They are sure to get a laugh. Unless otherwise noted, all quotes are original and written by LoveToKnow Staff. It doesn't take a lot of words to make a dad laugh, especially if the quote sums up the fatherhood experience in a hilarious way. Dad: Spider-killing superhero. No one wants to see Dad dance, but he does it anyway. Nothing you can do can scare me. I raised three daughters/sons. Dad jokes are how I keep from crying. I worked hard to get this dad bod. My boss calls me dad. Don't touch my car, my beer, or my daughter. Want to really make him laugh? Incorporate a funny story that's specific to your family. Hint: start with anything hilarious and gross that's happened over the years. Nothing sums up the dad experience quite like these funny quotes. Raising kids is the only job where you work 24 hours a day and it actually costs you money. Being a dad at bedtime is like being a designated driver trying to get your friends to leave the bar. My kids always ask me which one of them is my favorite. I don't tell them I don't actually like any of them. Being a dad is when you realize you can actually like people who puke in your car multiple times. Fatherhood is all about pretending neck ties are the best gifts you ever received. For the first two years, being a good dad is mostly about keeping your kid from finding new and creative ways to hurt himself. When your kids are toddlers, they'll embarrass you constantly in the grocery store, at the doctor's office, at the park, everywhere. When they're teenagers, it's Dad's turn to pay them back. My daughter doesn't have any daddy issues, but I can guarantee her boyfriend will. The key to being an awesome dad is aging without maturing. I'm a typical overachiever. That's why I'm the dad of twins. Having a conversation while having children is like trying to do your taxes in an inflatable jump house. No really. My dad jokes are proof that I'm the funniest dad alive. There's no joy quite like the happiness that comes from embracing your kids. I know when my kids need money because that's when they laugh at my jokes. Nothing is funnier than people without kids telling me how tired they are. Kids have a unique perspective on fatherhood, no matter how old they are. These hilarious father and son quotes and father and daughter sayings are perfect for Father's Day cards and Father's Day gifts, but they will also get a smile any time of the year. You can even use these as captions the next time you post a cute picture of you and dad together: The older I get, the more my dad seems to learn. Dad, I wish I'd inherited your ability to fall asleep anywhere anytime. It's great how we both know some things are true without even having to say it out loud - like that I'm your favorite kid. I'm smiling because I have you as a dad. I'm laughing because you can't do anything about it. Dad, thanks for saying 'yes' when Mom said 'no.' Dad, I have a secret. You're the best parent. Please don't tell Mom. I wouldn't trade my dad for anything. Then again, no one has offered me anything yet. My dad taught me everything he knows. That's why I know nothing. Life doesn't come with instructions, but it does come with a dad who always answers my calls. Thanks again, Dad, for not really killing any of the guys/girls I dated. Use a funny dad quote about the father and daughter relationship when you're marking special moments in your life, such as your wedding, moving out, your dad becoming a grandpa, or anything else big that happens. A heartfelt letter with a funny quote makes a sweet and and not-too-sappy way to make him feel included during these milestones. Stepdads might take their job seriously, but that doesn't mean we don't see a funny side. Share the humor with the bonus dad in your life. These quotes are perfect for greeting cards and stepdad gifts: You're not my stepdad. You're my bonus dad. You're the best stepdad because you still chose to marry our mom, even after you met us. You can't scare me. I have stepkids. I'm crazy enough to be a stepdad and lucky enough to be your stepdad. My kids call my stepdad because 'partner in crime' sounds irresponsible. All men were created equal, but stepdads got to level up. Most new dads have basically no idea how their lives will change, and that makes for some pretty hilarious words. If you're attending a baby shower and need to give a new dad a gift and some advice, one of these quotes can sum things up: Being a dad is about creating a human when you aren't necessarily capable of putting together a bookcase without help. Fathers need to tell little white lies right from the start. They hand you something that looks like a cross between Gollum and a ball of bread dough, and you look at your wife and tell her it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen. The first years with your wife, staying up until dawn together is romantic. When you have kids, you will want to fight her to the death to avoid being the one who sees the sun come up. Being a dad means learning how changing a mountain of diapers can change your whole life. I leveled up from husband to father. Given the choice between a nap and anything else in the world, a new dad will always choose a nap. New dad advice: teach them to call you 'your majesty.' Pro tip: Learn how to 'fix' toys by removing the batteries. Being a father has it's ups and downs, but in a dad's heart, the good times usually outweigh the challenges. Add a cute caption to capture all those funny moments about being a dad or sharing time with your dad. Myth: Dads run the show. Reality: The kids run the show. Sometimes Dads say no. When kids don't listen, it's 'I told you so.' All I ever wanted was to be a dad. And maybe a good night's sleep again. The 'Because I said so' card never gets old. I thought I'd teach my kids. Turns out they're teaching me. Being a Dad means being the coach, chauffer, and grill master, but I wouldn't have it any other way. A good night's sleep became a thing of dreams the moment I became a dad. Laughing at Dad's worst Dad jokes is form of real love. Dads can turn around the worst days. Even if they're the ones that started it. Every memorable family adventure starts with Dad. Even when we didn't plan on adventure. Stay calm and dad on. The secret love language of a dad: Reading that story just one more time (for the hundredth time.) Naps never looked so good until I had kids. The art of fatherhood requires two things: lots of coffee and even more patience. Making fatherhood look good since ______. A good dad can talk to his kids. A great dad knows the art of negotiation. After a decade of dadding, I'm still figuring it out. Dad, you make fatherhood look easy. But we know the truth. If there is one thing I hope my kids learned over the years... it's not to lose the tv remote. A great dad isn't perfect. But he gives perfect hugs. Everyone from famous Victorian writers to today's funniest comics has wisdom to impart about the role of fathers. These are some of the funniest dad quotes from famous people: "When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years." - Anonymous but attributed to Mark Twain "Mothers, of course, are all right. They pay a chap's bills and don't bother him. But fathers bother a chap and never pay his bills." - Oscar Wilde "To be a successful father, there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years." - Ernest Hemingway "For fatherhood advice, try to look your child in the eye… get to know their name; that becomes important when you want something. And remember to feed them. That's about all you need." - Will Ferrell "I gave my father $100 and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother." - Rita Rudner "Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word 'hero.'" - Ryan Reynolds "I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it." - Harry Truman "We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, 'He wants his mother.'" - Erma Bombeck "You have to be adaptable because they consistently keep changing. They'll do something that blows your mind and then they'll spit all their food on the carpet." - Neil Patrick Harris "There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let dad sleep.'" - Jim Gaffigan "A father carries pictures where his money used to be." - Steve Martin "Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up." - Ray Romano "I've been to war. I've raised twins. If I had a choice, I'd rather go to war." - George W. Bush "A father is a banker provided by nature." - French Proverb If your family loves to laugh, funny dad quotes are a great way to communicate how much you care. You can also add more serious dad quotes that come from the heart to show an important dad or father figure how much he means to you.
Yahoo
10-05-2025
- General
- Yahoo
51 Stay-at-Home Mom Quotes That Capture the Many Sides of Motherhood
From the outside, being a stay-at-home mom is a simple job where a woman gets to play with her kids all day long. In reality, being your child's primary caregiver is quite possibly the hardest job that a person can take on, and one that is often unappreciated. For the mothers who want to caption their joys, frustrations, stresses, and loneliness, here are some inspirational and honest stay-at-home mom quotes that paint a true picture of motherhood. Unless otherwise noted, all quotes are original and written by LoveToKnow staff. It's not the most glamorous job, but it's certainly one of the most meaningful. These stay-at-home mom quotes illuminate why the women who fill this role are so incredibly important. It's the most rewarding job I will ever have - staying at home and watching you grow is the greatest gift I will ever know. Every step you take and every move you make, I'm thankful to be watching you. We are the shapers of the future. The molders of great minds. It takes a lot of effort and every second of our time. We sacrifice our sanity and all of our warm food, just to have to deal with your epic toddler mood. But in the end, we know you are worth the stress and all the mess, because being your mom is quite simply the best. To all the mothers who have dedicated their lives to loving, teaching, inspiring, and transforming their kids into functioning human beings - your effort matters. You are changing the world one day at a time. Mom: A small word for the biggest job in the world. Your presence is much more valuable than checking items off a to-do list. Cheers to the moms who accept the mess and prioritize the snuggles, silly games, and small, but significant moments. A mom who starts the morning by making her bed can conquer the day. A mom who starts the morning by making everyone else make their beds can conquer the world. Right now, you are holding tomorrow in your arms. Being a stay-at-home mom means the world to your child. Your guidance will help to shape them into incredible human beings. Mothers who dedicate their lives to raising their kids don't just create life. They mold it into something meaningful. Many times, success comes in small packages. Adjust your perspective and you'll find that you are moving mountains an inch at a time. There's a reason why there is a day for mothers! They are remarkable women! Here are some reminders of the value you bring to the lives of the mini versions of you. You will never truly understand love until you have a child. You will never truly experience pride until you watch your child succeed. I am resilient. I am resourceful. I am in the most rewarding time of my life. I am raising my kids. #stayathomemom First steps. First words. Learning to tie their shoes, ride a bike, and use a spoon. Getting their first A and then graduating from school. These are not just your baby's accomplishments. They are yours. Be proud, mama. Everything worth knowing is something you learn from your mother. The moment you decide to have a child, you become brave. The moment you decide to be present in their life, you become committed. Every big milestone starts with you. Be proud of the work you put in because you are setting your kids up for success. #stayathomemom It is a remarkable feeling knowing that your embrace can solve virtually any problem. #proudtostayathome No one gets an instruction manual for how to handle life's obstacles. You get something better - a mother. Being a stay-at-home mom is a constant invisible struggle. Be proud every time you brush yourself off, get back up, and continue pushing through your day. You are a fighter. Motherhood is filled with messy moments, especially when you're with your kids 24/7. These stay-at-home mom quotes caption the struggle of taking on this monumental role as well as the ways that moms make it throughout the day to day. I find my Zen around ___PM. Currently getting paid in smiles, hugs, slobbery kisses, and baby giggles. Negative reviews are not welcome today - please take your meltdowns, tantrums, and moodiness elsewhere. I did not see 'human tissue' in the advertisement for becoming a mom. Don't ask what's in my coffee mug. Every day feels like I'm herding cats. Changing the world, one diaper at a time. Is it me, or does being a stay-at-home mom feel a lot like the movie Groundhog Day? My superpower is knowing exactly what my toddler is babbling about. I have the one job where a quiet workspace is a VERY bad thing. #Stayathomemom Remember how the messy bun was popular in high school? I'm bringing it back. #SAHMstyle The best meals are ones that start cold. That way you can ever be disappointed #StayAtHomeMomLife The Stay-at-Home Mom Mantra: Don't touch that. Get out of there. Don't put that in your mouth. Stop harassing your brother. Mommy needs two minutes! If the kids are alive and fed, I consider it a successful day. You are their everything - their support system, their friend, their caregiver. You are also their punching bag. Being a stay-at-home mom means you take almost all the punches and it can be draining. These unappreciated stay-at-home mother quotes highlight the hopes and frustrations that most of us feel on our worst days. She is the chef to the most discerning of palates. She is the crisis negotiator to tiny terrorists. She is the nurse working a 24/7 shift. She is the maid for the most inconsiderate of house guests. She is a stay-at-home mom. Stay-at-Home Mom: It's a thankless job until you become a grandparent. Only then will your kids see all the hard work, dedication, and commitment that were hiding just behind the curtain. Cocomelon characters sing the words we wish that everyone else would say: "My mommy is the best. The best there ever was. My mommy is the best. And I love her just because." Nagging is the product of feeling unappreciated. Next time a mom in your life badgers you, say thank you, help her, and let her know how much you value her work. They say that God only gives you what you can handle. Clearly, he thinks I can handle a lot. Next time you stumble, remember your title: MOM - the Master Of Madness. The struggle is real, but so is your impact. Stay-at-Home Moms: We fill everyone else's cup, even if it means emptying our own. Wishing they knew how much I sacrificed, how much I stress, and how often I feel like I'm steering a sinking ship. Thankful that all they see is a supermom, no matter how much I struggle. It's amazing how no one ever pays attention to a mom until she wants a second to herself to pee. Staying at home with your kids can be a surprisingly lonely gig. This is especially true when your little ones can't talk. Here are some kind words to share with a stay-at-home mom who needs some uplifting words of encouragement. The hardest part about being a stay-at-home mom is feeling as if you are alone in your struggles. Here's the secret - everyone is a mess, everyone's kid turns into a terror at some point, and everyone struggles. You might not see it, but you are the glue, the paper clip, the duct tape, and the staples that keep everyone else together. Think about this time as your metamorphosis. Every caterpillar must close itself off in order to transform into a beautiful butterfly. Your time to fly will be here soon. No one is happy all the time. Cherish the moments where you find joy and know that each coming day will be more fulfilling than the last. You are not anti-social. You just never get a moment away from work. Go to the park. All problems disappear when you go to a place for kids and moms. Ariel said it best: "I want to be where the people are." If you want to be wandering free, and if you are wishing you could be a part of that world, then tag your spouse in for the night! They say that distance makes the heart grow fonder. Sometimes the best thing you can do for your kids is give yourself a break. Don't feel bad for taking a little time to socialize with other adults. One day you will belly laugh at all your problems. The tantrums, the poop-tasrophes, and the ridiculous messes. In fact, you won't just laugh, you will reminisce. Soak up the messy moments before they are gone forever. This is your second chance to be a kid. Being a stay-at-home mom takes you back in time. Spin in circles in the sunshine, sing silly songs, and sneak in as many snuggles in front of the TV as you can before your time in Neverland disappears. If anyone questions the words above, they clearly have never never stayed at home with a child. If a naysayer wants a better idea of your role, let them take the reins for the day so you can get a much needed break! Stay-at-home moms are the backbone of the household, so be proud of your work and remember to breathe in the moments that feel impossible. If childbirth teaches us anything, it is that moms can conquer any task!
