Latest news with #Lowestoft
BBC News
11 hours ago
- BBC News
'Sexual abuse by my father left me feeling so isolated'
For years, Connor Parker kept a dark secret: he was being sexually abused by his biological left Connor, 25, feeling isolated and extremely stressed, he with his abuser behind bars, he is rebuilding his life with the help of his family and wants to help other victims, from Kessingland, near Lowestoft, Suffolk, has waived his right to anonymity and hopes to dispel what he calls the "stereotype" surrounding male rape is also calling for more support for those going through the court process. Connor's abuse at the hands of Timothy Neale began when he was about 12. "I felt so unbelievably isolated," he says."I was a rugby player and I played at a good level, but I did not talk to most of my team and I felt like it was them, and then I was just there."I went to school. I felt like I was looking at everyone through glass. "I was in a glass box, and that is the lowest feeling in the world; when you're around so many people but you feel so isolated." Aged 16, he finally plucked up the courage to tell his mother something was he felt he "could not go into the full story", it was enough to get him out of immediate danger. It was not until he was 19 that he felt able to fully open up about what had happened. Speaking about his abuse was just the start of a journey for Connor, who is now a fibre would be another five years before his abuser would finally be brought to of Montgomery Avenue, Lowestoft, was charged in 2020 with nine sexual offences against a child, including rape. But his trial at Norwich Crown Court was delayed five times before he was convicted of all counts and jailed for a total of 19 years in April 2024. Connor, who was diagnosed as autistic 18 months ago, said the court delays meant he had to watch his video evidence again every time, re-traumatising took its toll. "I spent five days in hospital after an attempt on my life," he says."There's a lot of not knowing; a lot of last-minute 'This is not going ahead.'"There was never any offer of support. I didn't know what support I could access. I didn't know if there were people who were employed by the courts to help."Personally, there was so much strain and stress." Connor's mother Toni Parker, 51, supported him throughout but says the process was "horrendous"."There was nothing in place for him at all through that whole thing. Nobody contacted him. There's no cushion for them. There isn't anything."She says the court delays were "dangerous" and believes something "needs to be done" for victims in such became quite unwell during the court process, she says."I was frightened that I was going lose him. He found night-times incredibly difficult. So it was just exhausting."As a parent, you want to fix your child. But with this, there is absolutely nothing you can do - you are so helpless."The only thing I could try and do was just to keep him alive." Toni met Neale when she was 15 and married him at 16. They divorced when Connor was five and shared custody of their children. She remembers when Connor first told her of the abuse. "I think that first disclosure was to safeguard himself from his biological father," she says."It is such a painful question, when people ask you, 'Did you not know? Did you not see?'"If I'd known it was happening, I would have stopped it immediately."She says Neale groomed not just Connor, but the rest of the family, and that she will feel guilty about that for the rest of her life."But, at the end of the day, it's the perpetrator's shame, and it's certainly not Connor's shame and it isn't my shame." Details of help and support with child sexual abuse and sexual abuse or violence are available at BBC Action Line Connor says: "Male victims of sexual abuse are stereotyped. They are expected to look a certain way; expected to act a certain way."I don't look or act like any of those stereotypes. It's a reflection, really, that it can happen to anyone - anyone at all."For me, talking about it has made me deal with it better and... in more healthy ways."If one person can hear my story and relate to it, and actually push to get a result, that makes me feel a little bit better." He says the trial was made more difficult for him by the presence in the public gallery of a man jailed in 2002 for possessing sexual images of children."It's like a sickening feeling. Someone is there who had previously been convicted for these types of crimes and they're listening to what has happened to me. And that, in my mind, is not right." His family approached police to ask if the man could be removed, but were told nothing could be UK has a open justice policy where cases are heard in Asato, Labour MP for Lowestoft, who has been supporting the Parkers, said: "Open justice is the proud bedrock of our democracy, but I think most people would agree that it is common sense to ensure judges understand they can exclude those convicted of child sex offences from attending court cases for similar offences."The BBC contacted the Judiciary, but it said it did not comment on specific it highlighted the Criminal Practice Directions which says that where cases involve witnesses who are young or vulnerable, the court should consider whether to restrict attendance by members of the public during their Police said: "The officer was approached by a member of the victim's family, who raised their dissatisfaction of a certain man being in the public gallery due to his alleged previous convictions."The officer took these details and carried out research on the policing systems available. The concerns and subsequent research were then passed on to the prosecuting counsel." Connor and Toni have been supported by the organisation Restitute. Founder Cath Pickles said: "We support 200 families every year and our waiting list keeps growing."These are ordinary families who need urgent emotional and practical support."Parents and carers are the key to their loved one's recovery but they are consistently financially devastated and emotionally broken by the criminal justice system." A Ministry of Justice spokesperson said: "Our thoughts are with Connor and his family."We know that court delays and a lack of support can have a devastating impact on victims."That is why this government is taking action to deliver swifter justice and improve victims' experience."We are funding a record number of Crown Court sitting days and have launched the 'Understand Your Rights' campaign to ensure every victim knows how to access the support they deserve." Follow Suffolk news on BBC Sounds, Facebook, Instagram and X.
BBC News
3 days ago
- General
- BBC News
Tensions mount over temporary fence barring swans
A wooden fence put up around an unsafe slipway has caused anger after it prevented dozens of swans getting to where they feed and rest. The boat slipway next to The Boulevard at Oulton Broad, near Lowestoft in Suffolk, was shut by The Broads Authority. The authority stressed the new wooden fencing was only a temporary measure while it made plans to repair the many locals and visitors have been left frustrated, with some even attempting to remove it - something the authority described as "irresponsible". Onlookers cheered as a section was removed by several people on Rix, 68, a retired builder, was one of the people involved in the removal and was happy to see the swans being able to roam said he was not worried of any repercussions, however."They've got their freedom back - that should never have been taken away from them in the first place," he said."Nobody asked, they just put it up and built a prison for them, it's wrong."When challenged by the BBC over his actions, Mr Rix said he understood the safety concerns and was aware there were five signs warning people to stay away. Nikki Thomas is a local business owner and long term resident of Oulton was not involved in the removal of the fence but said "generations" of people had come to love the swans."They [the swans] are depressed because their normal resting area is up here on the grass," she explained."They get fed in the mornings and evenings by locals and visitors alike."They can't access it. When it's high tide they can't even get out of the water because they have covered the slipway as well where they used to walk up at high tide to their resting areas." 'My friends' Laurie Rookie, 90, comes down with buckets of seed three times a week for the swans, spending about £2,000 each year in the process. "I was devastated to see the fence, I couldn't believe it," he said. "I saw no reason for it."They're wild birds but they are my friends and I've been meeting them for years - that's my pleasure in old age to do something for wildlife."I get tonnes of pleasure out of it and I hope other people do to." A spokesperson for the Broads Authority said it was aware of people's concerns and the removal of part of the fence."The recent removal of a section of the fence by concerned individuals is not a responsible action and has made it more difficult to manage this safety risk," they said."We urge members of the public to allow the appropriate authorities to address these issues safely and legally. "We are currently working to identify a more satisfactory and permanent solution."The authority did not yet have a timescale for the completion of the works. Follow Suffolk news on BBC Sounds, Facebook, Instagram and X.
BBC News
4 days ago
- Automotive
- BBC News
Lowestoft collision sees two hurt after car crashes into trench
Two people have been injured after a collision led to a car falling into a gas mains emergency services were called to Corton Road in Lowestoft, Suffolk, to reports of a two-vehicle crash at 07:45 BST, before the road reopened at about of the cars involved crashed into a trench that had been dug out for gas mains work. The gas company Cadent said it was aware and that no mains pipelines had been Platt, 60, of nearby Gunton Drive, said she heard "an enormous crash". "I went back into the bedroom, I thought a wardrobe had fallen on to my husband or something and he was absolutely fine," she said."A little while later he went out and phoned me up to say go to the end of the road and look, and you'll see what the crash was." Geoff May, 68, and his wife Jane May, 60, also both live on Gunton Drive."Our dog reacted to the crash and we just thought it was the lorries turning up to start work there," Mr May said."It was another half an hour before we looked out the window and saw all the commotion."Mrs May added: "It is a sight, you've got to see it to believe it really."The ambulance and fire service were also called to the scene. The road remained closed while recovery of the vehicles involved was ongoing. Follow Suffolk news on BBC Sounds, Facebook, Instagram and X.
BBC News
6 days ago
- Business
- BBC News
New £4.9m Lowestoft seafront complex begins to take shape
A major £4.9m seafront development has begun to take shape after a steel structure was put Suffolk Council is building a new complex at Jubilee Rise, formerly Jubilee Parade, on Lowestoft seafront in Suffolk. Located next to the Eastern Edge beach huts, the new site will include a two-storey restaurant and cafe, three new concession units, public toilets and changing facilities. Photos shared by the council show the steel frame of the complex being built, which Tim Wilson, cabinet member for economic development and regeneration, described as "exciting". The first phase of the construction began in February last year, with the second phase beginning in part of the works, a new lift was also being installed in the complex to improve accessibility along the seafront. It will connect the Upper Esplanade with the Lower work is expected to be completed early next year, according to the council. "This is an exciting stage for Jubilee Rise as the work so far on site has been ground engineering works and therefore mostly unseen," Wilson said. "However, the steel structure is now starting to emerge, and we are looking forward to the completion of this new complex next year, which will further enhance the seafront for the benefit of residents and visitors."Other works were ongoing across the town that formed part of the Towns Fund works at Royal Plain, Royal Green and South Quay Wharf were also under way. Follow Suffolk news on BBC Sounds, Facebook, Instagram and X.
BBC News
6 days ago
- Sport
- BBC News
Suffolk teen quit refereeing football due to abuse from parents
A teenage referee said he felt "forced" to quit officiating grassroots football due to the abuse he received from players' Sinclair, 18, from Lowestoft, Suffolk, started refereeing at age 14, the youngest age at which a person can become a match said he finally decided to stop refereeing last year when a player's mother invaded the pitch midway through a match and called him names. Suffolk County Football Association (FA) said it was committed to tackling and stamping out poor behaviour across the grassroots game. Describing the incident that led him to quit, he said: "I felt quite scared. She kept shouting at me, saying I was blind."Mr Sinclair said he reported the issues to host club Kirkley and Pakefield and Suffolk County FA directly. The FA's most recent Grassroots Disciplinary Review showed serious abuse and physical assaults on match officials had risen by about 17% in one year, from 1,451 to 1,716 in the 2023/2024 season. Mr Sinclair said he felt people did not take into consideration his age when he was officiating."It's not fair to verbally abuse someone a lot younger than you. There was a lot of name-calling and slurs," he said. He said he felt the atmosphere could change at tournaments if they got "rid of the parents" and added: "It's the only way I'd consider coming back." Mr Sinclair's mum, Jemma Sinclair, attended matches with him at the start of his career to help him deal with the abuse."It made me angry watching him being treated this way," she said."There were times I had to intervene with other parents to remind them that the referee is a child too."You wouldn't abuse a child walking down the street or playing on the swing the wrong way, so why shout at a child trying to help your [child] play football?"A spokesperson for Suffolk County FA said: "We cannot comment on individual cases but all incidents of reported misconduct, including abuse of referees, are thoroughly investigated and appropriate action taken."Tackling and stamping out poor behaviour across the grassroots game continues to be a key focus of the county FA." Henry and Alex, both 16, have been refereeing for nearly three years and said they had experienced abuse from match spectators."It's mainly the parents who give the abuse and try to influence the game," Henry said. The pair added they dealt with the behaviour by "keeping calm and trying to get their authority across"."There have been a few incidents that have nearly made me quit, but you just grow a thick skin and get on with it really," Alex Oakey, chairman of the Referees' Association, said: "We are continually dealing with reports of referees being attacked and abused."In the last three incidences… one included a 14-year-old referee being abused and then chased by the mother of an eight-year-old player at a youth tournament." Kevin Fryer, youth chairman of Kirkley and Pakefield Football Club, has worked with young referees but said "people forget the games are just a bit of fun".He recalled one under-11 girls' match was abandoned after the "parents were abusing the referee to an extent he felt he couldn't continue"."We've had referees reduced to tears, parents waiting in car parks for referees under 16 - it's just crazy," he Fryer said his club offered training courses to referees on how to deal with abuse on the pitch, and there was also a "system to show it's a newly qualified referee" on the pitch."It should be about kids having fun, but people take it way too seriously," he told the BBC. The club has a "respect line" - a painted pitch border at lower-level games and a physical barrier for the first team games - which spectators have to stand behind. It was hoped this would help reduce the abuse suffered by amateur referees and young parents at Kirkley and Pakefield said they understood that other parents were passionate, but they should also be said: "You do see parents forget the referees are children themselves sometimes."Another added: "They've got to start somewhere, and we need to, as parents, set an example."On its England Football website, the FA said playing the game at this age was about "being part of a team and understanding gameplay". A FA spokesperson added: "Everyone should be able to enjoy the game, including young match officials just starting out." Follow Suffolk news on BBC Sounds, Facebook, Instagram and X.
