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Yahoo
3 days ago
- Health
- Yahoo
Having friends can help you live longer. Here's how to find them
After working from home all day, your takeout order arrives and you start binge-watching your favorite show alone. Sounds ideal, right? Except doing this routinely could shorten your life. And that's not because of the nutritional content of your dinner. It's because having strong, positive relationships is one of the best ways to extend your life, according to research. 'Human beings just are a fundamentally social species. We have a fundamental need to belong,' said Dr. Amit Kumar, associate professor of marketing and psychology at the University of Texas at Austin's McCombs School of Business. With everything else you have going on, why should you make a change? Because the cost of loneliness is huge. 'The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity,' wrote then US Surgeon General Dr. Vivek H. Murthy in his 2023 advisory on the 'healing effects' of social connection . The lack of strong social ties has been linked to a greater risk of problems with health or well-being, including more stress, high blood pressure, premature death and poor coping skills. But finding friends as an adult can be hard. Some people's mindsets hinder their ability to make connections, while a lack of affordable places to meet is a challenge for others, said Danielle Bayard Jackson, director of the Women's Relational Health Institute. But the effort is worth it. Here's how Jackson and other experts suggest you combat those limitations and find your community. If you want to make more connections in your life, consider how you might be counteracting that goal and prepare to change, said Jackson, author of 'Fighting for Our Friendships: The Science and Art of Conflict and Connection in Women's Relationships.' Many people have a fear of rejection, real or perceived, while others have social anxiety, Jackson said. But if you never take risks, Kumar noted, you never give your brain a chance to see that you actually can socialize. Practicing cognitive behavioral therapy or setting yourself up for 'micro' moments to put yourself out there can help you regulate social anxiety and rejection-sensitivity, experts said. Not everyone is going to like you, and you need to learn to regulate your emotional response to that. That could look like noting the sting and thinking, 'Well, that was awkward' — but not immediately labeling that person a jerk or deciding something about you is defective. 'Some psychologists call it exposure therapy,' Jackson said. 'I've seen them assign a client the task of going and asking for crazy things and intentionally trying to go and collect nos.' Engage with a waiter a bit longer than normal and ask for a menu accommodation you know they will decline, Jackson said. Check out at the grocery store with a cashier instead of self-checkout to practice your social skills. If time is an issue, think about canceling some commitments so you can prioritize your social life, experts said. But you should also change what you consider acceptable hangouts — setting time limits is OK, especially when the alternative is not seeing anyone at all. Dr. Lauren Cook, a clinical psychologist, suggests doing mundane activities with friends more often instead of always having bigger, less frequent events focused on catching up. If you want to see someone but also need to run errands, hit the gym or fold laundry, ask them to join you. Instead of drinks on a Friday, plan a short Tuesday game night and ask your guests to eat dinner beforehand so you only have to provide a snack. Some people cite the 'collapse of third places' as a hindrance to making friends, Jackson said. That's true, she added, but those places are closing in part because of low attendance. Today's culture of convenience is also to blame, Jackson and Cook said — think grocery delivery orders, mobile order counters, digital reading devices or livestreamed religious services. These have many perks, especially for people with mobility issues, 'but I cannot help but to think about the cost,' Jackson said. 'We tend to romanticize those serendipitous moments of, like, you're in a coffee shop and you start chatting with the girl in front of you and you guys hit it off,' Jackson said. But that can't happen if we're acting like 'little night cooters,' Cook said — quickly hopping out, getting our food and then going back to our caves. When clients seek Jackson's help with finding friends, they list all their delivery subscriptions and other conveniences — such as frequent mobile orders — and then eliminate some, which lead to those serendipitous moments. Don't think in black or white, Jackson said. 'If you see it as zero friends or go out and make besties, that's a lot,' she added. But if you see all that's available to you — like the neighbor or moviegoer you always run into — you can see what happens. Finally, get off your phone. When you're always zoned in on your screen, you appear standoffish and won't notice people you might like. To determine where to meet people, consider your values and your ideal friend, Jackson said. If you love helping people, look for volunteering opportunities. If your ideal friend reads books, where would she be on a Wednesday night? Probably at a book club meeting or a bookstore, so go to one. Frequent local libraries, farmers markets and parks. Look online for interest clubs or events, or try an app for finding friends nearby. Take a class on something you have always wanted to do, such as learning a specific dance style or cooking a special cuisine. Maybe even reach out to an old friend you have lost touch with, said psychologist Dr. Marisa G. Franco, an associate fellow at the University of Maryland honors program and author of 'Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make — and Keep — Friends.' We often underestimate how happy people will be to hear from us, she noted. When Cook became a new mom, she brought her baby along on her walks and made many friends by asking other women about their babies and talking about her own. Cook also suggested wearing something that could be a conversation starter, such as a T-shirt featuring your favorite artist. And don't forget you can be a leader, Cook said. 'A lot of people are hoping these opportunities will just fall in their lap. If you're not finding it, build it.' Cook recalled when her friends hosted dinners they called 'friends of friends.' They would invite a friend who also had to bring someone. 'That completely built out their whole social world because their friends were all getting to know each other,' Cook said. 'It became this popular thing where there was a wait list.' Another person couldn't find a quilting club for millennials, so they started a monthly class in a rented space, Cook said. That do-it-yourself spirit is what sparked some of the platforms that matchmake strangers for restaurant dinners or provide spaces for people to start something themselves. Those initiatives include The Lonely Girls Club in the United Kingdom; California's Groundfloor, an 'after-school club' for millennials; RealRoots in the United States; and the global-based Time Left. Small talk may seem annoying, but it's necessary, said Cook, who also wrote 'Generation Anxiety: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World.' Deep relationships take time to build. If you find yourself running out of topics, Cook recommends asking questions about their favorite things that are relevant to the situation — if you're at a jazz bar, for example, ask someone about their favorite jazz artists. If your platonic interest loves hiking, say you'll send them links to a couple of good spots if they give you their number or Instagram, Jackson suggested. Later that night, send them the links. After a week, ask if they went and keep talking. Cook also suggests using the 'listen and link' technique. As you're listening to someone, think about what you can link to the conversation, use that and build from there. If someone's talking about their trip to Costa Rica and you love monkeys, ask what kinds of monkeys they saw in Costa Rica. One of my favorite ways to keep a conversation going with someone new? Staying curious. When someone is totally new to you, there is a whole decades-long world of information to learn about them. When you're aware of that, how could you ever have nothing to talk about? Cook agrees. Although many people know romantic partnerships require consistent effort and nurturing, many think friendship should be the opposite: easy, natural and organic, Jackson said. This idea may be because growing up, we made friends more easily because we had classes or sports practice with them every day. But in adulthood, that idea is a falsehood that leads to fizzled-out friendships and loneliness, Jackson said. Maintaining friendships takes a lot of intention, experts said. Set reminders to check in, be a good listener, don't be judgmental and remember what your new acquaintances like so you can suggest meaningful ways to spend time together — and maybe even live longer. Sign up for CNN's Adulthood, But Better newsletter series. Our seven-part guide has tips to help you make more informed decisions around personal finance, career, wellness and personal connections.
Forbes
17-04-2025
- Business
- Forbes
For Small Business Owners, The ROI on an MBA Isn't There
Twenty-five years ago, after leaving his job as a Senate staffer, Alan Pentz spent two years earning an M.B.A. from the McCombs School of Business at the University of Texas at Austin. He went on to build the Corner Alliance into a $35-million-in-revenue government consulting firm and recently stepped back from running it day-to-day to launch The Owner Institute, a coaching firm for other small business owners. Today, the 52-year-old Pentz offers this free advice to would-be entrepreneurs: Don't waste time like I did, earning an M.B.A. The best business education, he insists, comes from actually running a business, learning from mistakes, managing cash flow and employees and getting advice from people who've been there. Fellow McCombs M.B.A. alumnus Liz Picarazzi, also 52, agrees the stuff she learned in class hasn't helped much in her current business, CITIBIN, a Brooklyn-based maker of rat-proof outdoor trash bins, or at her previous startup, a handyman company, which she started in 2011 and sold in 2017 to focus on producing and marketing bins. She built the first enclosure herself in 2012 in her Brooklyn backyard because she wasn't able to find anything on the market that was durable or decent-looking enough to satisfy her or her picky handyman clients. Today, CITIBIN has a line of products that serves everyone from home and apartment owners to major cities, with bins installed in Times Square and dozens of other New York City locations and in Baltimore, Boston, Chicago, Hoboken and Philadelphia. Now, Picarazzi is dealing with new challenges, like planning for tariffs on foreign made products. Even if the M.B.A. hasn't been much help in her small business life, Picarazzi is still glad that four years after graduating with a B.A. in Russian and political science, she returned to school to get that business credential. Why? It opened the door for her to work corporate jobs for a decade, including more than six years at American Express. Those jobs, in turn, allowed her to pay off her student loans and realize that she wasn't cut out for the corporate world. 'I needed to go down that path to become an entrepreneur,' she explains. The experiences of Pentz and Picarazzi add some real life nuance to a perennial debate on LinkedIn about whether earning an M.B.A. makes sense if you want to buy or build a small business. The wisdom that emerges: Get the degree if you're aiming to make PowerPoints at consultant McKinsey; model leveraged buyouts at Goldman Sachs; or ascend to the C-Suite of a blue chip company. It's also a good choice if (like Picarazzi) you aren't sure where in the business world you belong, since the prestige and network of an M.B.A. from a top school will help you launch your career. But if your goal is building or buying your own small business, particularly something like a chain of car washes, an HVAC business, or a maker of rat-proof enclosures, it's not obvious an M.B.A. is going to help–and it could even hurt. Business school typically teaches strategy, finance, and management, along with case studies to analyze real-world challenges. That all comes at a steep price. Tuition averages $46,700 a year for an in-person degree, and for an elite school like University of Michigan's Ross School of Business it amounts to more than $70,000 per year. To this you should add the opportunity cost of two years of not making money and not actually running a business. (For reference, the average small business owner makes $99,979 a year, according to ZipRecruiter. Add in two years of lost lifetime earnings, and the real cost of getting an M.B.A. is on the order of $300,000 or more.) An M.B.A. could cost you even more if you're trying to buy a business, Pentz argues. Flaunt a big name business credential and it's likely the seller will raise the price, he says. 'They'll probably be like, oh, fancy boy's got a bunch of money.' George Tibil is always moving forward. The 36-year-old Romanian came to the United States in 2009 on a full tennis scholarship from the University of Buffalo. He earned a B.S. in business administration and M.S. in mathematical finance from Buffalo plus an M.B.A. from the University of Memphis; worked as a tennis coach and adjunct business professor at Buffalo; and spent five years climbing the corporate ladder at Buffalo, New York's M&T Bank, rising to V.P. and head of a risk modeling team. In 2023, he quit the bank and took the entrepreneurial plunge, setting up a partnership with two Buffalo buddies to invest in, own and operate, small businesses. As a first step, they bought–and Tibil runs–a ServiceMaster Clean franchise in Buffalo. He's expecting its revenues to hit $2 million this year, up from $1.1 million in 2023. Looking back, Tibil says, he could have skipped that M.B.A., which he earned online in his spare time mainly to punch his corporate ticket. While the case studies and financial training were helpful, he says, he could have learned the same material on his own for a fraction of the cost. The real value of an M.B.A. he says, is the network and cache it provides, but that doesn't help–and can actually backfire–in small business. When you're dealing with blue collar workers in a business like ServiceMaster, it can make building a rapport more difficult, he says. And like Pentz, he thinks it hurts you if you're haggling to buy a small business. 'I don't think it's in your best interest to mention your M.B.A.' Anecdotal stories casting doubt on the value of an M.B.A. are backed by at least some research. In 2022, the Foundation for Research on Equal Opportunity (FREOPP), a non-partisan think tank, analyzed the return on investment (ROI) for nearly 14,000 graduate degree programs, based on the Department of Education's College Scorecard, which shows median earnings for each program four years after graduation. In this study, investment is calculated to include both tuition and opportunity cost and the return is the projected cumulative extra income over a lifetime. The analysis found that the median master's degree offers a net ROI of $83,000. However, this average masks significant disparities: masters degrees in engineering, computer science, and nursing often yield returns exceeding $500,000, while the M.B.A. frequently falls short, with more than 60% of such programs providing no positive ROI. That hasn't sapped the popularity of masters in business (which includes, but isn't exclusively the M.B.A.)—they're far and away the most popular advanced degree, according to data from the National Center for Education Statistics. In 2021-2022, more than 205,000 business masters were conferred, 50,000 more than the second most popular curriculum, education. Since 1970, the number of business degrees awarded has increased ninefold, while education degrees have less than doubled. Applications for M.B.A. programs were up more than 8% for 2024-2025, according to the Graduate Management Admission Council (GMAC). Business degrees really started to take off in the late 1990s, thanks to globalization and a more financialized economy. As companies grew, so did the need for people with skills in management, finance, and marketing. Now, an M.B.A. is one of those degrees that can go places other degrees can't. It'll help you land a job in almost any field, from tech to industry, while a health or education degree probably won't. But what works for big companies doesn't always apply to small businesses. Tibil acknowledges there are exceptions to his generally negative view of M.B.A.s. He cites programs like Stanford's ($82,455 annual tuition) or Babson's ($73,710 for the first year, $43,050 for the second), which were among the first to offer entrepreneurial tracks, as schools where the M.B.A. aligns more closely with the needs of those who want to become entrepreneurs by acquiring small businesses. Paul Oyer, The Mary and Rankine Van Anda Entrepreneurial Professor at Stanford's Graduate School of Business and author of Roadside M.B.A.: Back Road Lessons for Entrepreneurs, has been teaching at Stanford for 29 years. By his own admission he's biased, but he believes that the concepts taught in business schools—like scaling, managing costs, and defining markets—are universally valuable, even for small business owners. What sets Stanford apart, Oyer says, is its focus on taking traditional small businesses, such as HVAC companies, and showing students how to scale them. It also exposes students to an entrepreneurial ecosystem that's hard to match anywhere else, especially given Stanford's proximity to Silicon Valley. Oyer suggests those looking to go into small business consider the content of an M.B.A. program carefully. He believes that a traditional two-year program can be extremely valuable for someone with the ambition to grow a business, but it may not be the best fit for someone just looking to be their own boss. He advises looking for programs that offer practical, high-intensity exposure to entrepreneurship. At Stanford, for example, the Start-Up Garage class gives students the opportunity to test business ideas, work on unit economics, and figure out what will scale. Oyer also notes that 20-25% of Stanford graduates go on to start new ventures, and others join firms like Alpine Investors, a private equity firm which focuses on acquiring and growing small businesses. While Stanford offers a unique focus on scaling small businesses, Babson has its own take on what makes an M.B.A. valuable for entrepreneurs. John Hallal, an adjunct professor at Babson and founder of Network Blue, a consulting firm that helps small businesses grow, has spent 15 years teaching at the school just outside Boston. He says the right program can help individuals understand how to search for small businesses to buy, source deals, and operate small businesses effectively. He advises students who want to go into small business to look for programs with strong entrepreneurial ecosystems and hands-on learning. At Babson, for example, students get exposure to small and family-owned businesses (partly from case studies, partly from joining a student body that more than most hails from family business backgrounds), helping them learn how to handle real-world challenges. 'Many schools are reporting that entrepreneurship is among the top career choices' for their M.B.A. students, Hallal notes. While that's certainly not proof that an M.B.A. will pay off for a would-be business owner, it does suggest that at least some would-be entrepreneurs think it's worth the investment. M.B.A. skeptic Alan Pentz isn't swayed by the idea that any program can truly replicate the experience of diving in headfirst. While an M.B.A. can teach you how to read financial statements, the reality of small businesses is often far messier, Pentz says. Many don't have textbook-perfect financials, and things rarely go according to plan. In Pentz's words, most deals to buy a small business don't happen until, basically, 'somebody dies.' That said, Pentz does acknowledge one situation where an M.B.A. might actually make a difference. 'There's got to be a use case, right?,' Pentz says while smirking. 'Well, maybe if you were targeting a business to M.B.A. students.'
The Guardian
11-02-2025
- Health
- The Guardian
Are typos lethal in a work email? Nine digital communication tips from an expert
Andrew Brodsky has been working from home far longer than most of us. 20 years ago, at age 16, he was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia that required a bone marrow transplant, and he spent the following month in an isolation room where visitors had to put on a mask, full-body gown and gloves. 'I got early experience interacting with people from a distance,' the McCombs School of Business at The University of Texas Austin professor says. An early interest in virtual communication took hold, growing into a PhD dissertation and the cornerstone of his business consulting practice. The Texas resident still receives regular immunoglobulin infusions. Owing to his immunocompromised status, he teaches his popular business school classes via Zoom from a home office decked out with color-coded bookshelves and a cleverly placed photo of his dogs, Tater and Minnie, directly behind his camera (more on that later). In his new book Ping: The Secrets of Successful Virtual Communication, he lays out the data he has gathered on the science of communicating through screens. He spoke with the Guardian about how to find fulfilling connection in an ever-fractured and disembodied world. At the office, it can be tempting to wander over to a colleague when you spot them at their desk. But now that casual IRL encounters are fewer and further between, people don't always take warmly to an out-of-the-blue approach. 'It doesn't matter if you work from home or if you work from the office – we're all virtual communicators,' Brodsky said. Swinging by your co-worker's cubicle used to be the norm if you had a question or a juicy tidbit to share, but these days it's safer to send an instant message to see if they will be free to chat in a bit. We are wired to sense that all emails require an instant response – a brain trigger that can drain our own productivity. 'When we get an email, we tend to think the sender expects a response quicker than they actually do,' Brodsky says. 'So this creates a whole lot of extra stress on us, because we feel like we need to reply right away.' He recommends designating three or so periods a day to tend to emails, and notes that there is nothing wrong with getting back to somebody later that day unless they specified that the matter was urgent. Likewise, it never hurts to clarify to your recipient that your query does not constitute a five-alarm emergency. 'If you're sending an email and you need a quick reply, put the word 'urgent' in the subject header,' he says. 'Otherwise, say at the end of your email that this can wait till we talk in the next few days.' Is a Zoom background worth a thousand words? One of Brodsky's more intriguing hypotheses is that a video meeting can be more intimate than an in-person one held in an anodyne conference room. Brodsky looked at research showing that bookshelves and plants both work well to help establish a connection. Cozy items such as Christmas trees or a photo of a pet, such as Brodsky displays, can connote warmth and personal dimension. Unsurprisingly, a study about video chat backgrounds and professionalism found that a novelty background such as a walrus on ice or the inside of a spaceship tended to get the lowest ratings. So delete that image of Bianca Jagger raging through Studio 54 on a white unicorn. Is anybody's body clock wired to thrive exactly from 9am to 5pm? Some of us (present company included) get our best work done before the sun rises, while others don't get a chance to buckle down and put together email replies until after their family members are drifting off to sleep. Yet there is a commonly held perception that it is disrespectful of boundaries to bother somebody outside of regular working hours. Brodsky isn't terribly concerned about the time of day that an email is fired off. 'If you were to say: if you could respond in the next couple days, that would be great. That takes the pressure off the next response,' he says. Sign up to Well Actually Practical advice, expert insights and answers to your questions about how to live a good life after newsletter promotion Back when Covid reared its head, a lot of companies went overboard on scheduling meetings, perhaps fearful of losing track of employees' whereabouts. But recent studies show that reducing the number of meetings can lead to higher productivity. That said, Brodsky believes that certain meetings can save time – especially if they entail a conversation among few members. Brodsky hypothesizes about the conversation we're having. 'Each of my answers are five paragraphs long,' he says. 'This interaction, over email, would have taken potentially 10 times as long as this hour-long call that you and I are having.' A dominant theme in Brodsky's book is mastering the theater of productivity. 'The vast majority of jobs don't have objective measures of performance,' he says. 'So in most jobs, there's always some strong, subjective component that's happening on the manager's side. So unfortunately there's this need to be mindful and strategic about your communication and how you present your work.' He illustrates with two fictional examples. One employee sends her manager an elaborate five-paragraph email update about everything she did during the week on Friday. Another worker sends his manager a few sentences via Slack every day. According to Brodsky, research shows that the constant communicator likely seems more productive. Communicating more frequently and casually 'can be useful for showing your engagement when they can't necessarily see you'. Yes, it's exhausting, and you might need to brush your hair. But showing your face in a video meeting and reading your colleagues' expressions can forge a bond and trust. Sorry! The toll of overextension is what you might expect, Brodsky says. Some research 'shows that there's basically this curvilinear effect of after-hours communication on both work performance and your relationships', he says. 'Too much after-hours communication just burns you out.' Not only that, but over-availability can diminish your stock. 'If you're thinking about work outcomes, your relationships with your coworkers and your performance, you would probably think, the more communication you have, the better. But that's not true, because your burnout ends up undermining that, and you also are sort of underselling yourself, right?' Typos are a mainstay of the digital age – we dash off texts, Slacks and emails while we are ordering groceries or pretending to pay attention during meetings. In his research with American University professor Haley Blunden, Brodsky learned a few things. First, the obvious: typos make you look less intelligent. But that's not their only effect; they also convey emotion. 'It's like an amplifier,' Brodsky says. 'Typos make an angry email seem angrier or happy emails seem happier. And if you make one? You can move on.' Ping is out from Simon Acumen on 11 February
