5 days ago
I let my mother die after she was diagnosed with rare disease... it was shockingly easy
On the morning of Barbara Goodfriend's death, friends and family gathered at her house, laughing at old stories and sharing tears over her decision to end her own life.
The New Jersey native had spent her life working in fashion and raising her daughter, but in April, the widow, 83 at the time, was diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) - a rare neurodegenerative disease that causes progressive paralysis of the muscles.
Also known as Lou Gehrig's disease, the condition, which affects about 30,000 Americans, affects the nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord - causing loss of motor function and eventually respiratory failure.
There is no cure and those who are diagnosed with it die within three to five years.
However, Goodfriend's case was severe and she was given just months to live. Doctors told her she likely wouldn't live through autumn.
Rather than spend the last remaining months of her life suffering, the grandmother-of-two decided to end her life using Medical Aid In Dying, also known as MAID, nine months after her diagnosis.
Goodfriend said: 'What am I going to give this up for? To be in a wheelchair? To have a feeding tube? I wish I had more time to live, but I don't want more time as a patient.'
'I hope that something will get done, something will be accomplished, so that others can have the privilege that I'm having,' she told CBS News.
MAID is an end-of-life option provided to terminally ill Americans in California, Colorado, Hawaii, Maine, Montana, New Jersey, New Mexico, Oregon, Vermont, Washington and the District of Columbia.
It was legalized in New Jersey in 2019.
While the CDC is yet to announce how many people died of MAID in 2024 across the states where it is legal, officials reported 1,216 deaths in 2021.
Since the law took effect in 2019, a total of 287 people have used MAID to die in New Jersey.
The option for MAID is only given to those who have less than six months to live, have decision-making capacity to request the option, give informed consent and are residents of the state where it is legal.
An attending and a consulting physician then determine if the patient is medically eligible for MAID.
If found eligible, the patient needs to submit three requests to opt for MAID to their attending physician - two oral requests and one written request for final approval.
The process involves a combination of drugs, including digoxin, diazepam, morphine, amitriptyline and phenobarbital into the body.
They slow breathing and heartrate down eventually to the point of stopping.
According to the law, patients must self-administer these drugs. They normally do this by mixing the powdered medications in two ounces of juice and drinking them - which is what Goodfriend opted to do.
It usually takes between five to 20 minutes for all the medications to stop the heart from beating, however, many people die within the first few minutes, depending on the severity of their illness.
After she made her decision to opt for MAID in November 2024, she noted that none of her family members, particularly her daughter, Carol Getz Abolafia, tried to stop her.
Abolafia later told CBS News that even though the decision to let her mother go was the hardest thing she had done, she ultimately respected Goodfriend's wishes to opt for MAID and die in comfort.
She said: 'I think the hardest part in all of this, for me as her only child, is to support something so difficult and so contrary to what you want to do.
'The ultimate love that you can give somebody is to respect their wish, to live the way they wanna live, and to die the way they want to die.'
As the day of her death came closer, Goodfriend spent a week with her family saying goodbye.
'It's been a week of family, friends. We've done a lot of crying, all of us, but we've laughed. We've enjoyed being together,' she said.
Dr Robin Plumer, who has attended nearly 200 MAID deaths in New Jersey, assured Goodfriend she would go to sleep after drinking the drugs and it would be a 'peaceful, dignified death.'
'So, here we are today, and what a strange day this is - that somebody gets to pick the day that they're going to die,' Dr Plumer added.
As her teary-eyed family surrounded her in her bedroom, Goodfriend died on November 15, 2024.
According to a Gallup poll, about two-thirds of Americans support MAID as an end-of-life choice.
But groups such as United Spinal Association fight against the legalization of MAID or what they call 'assisted suicide.'
But Goodfriend said before her death: 'If it's not a good idea for you, don't consider it, but there has to be a way for those who want it.
