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Miss Manners: Constructive criticism not wanted here
Miss Manners: Constructive criticism not wanted here

Washington Post

time2 days ago

  • Entertainment
  • Washington Post

Miss Manners: Constructive criticism not wanted here

Dear Miss Manners: My stepson is a successful novelist. I'm reading an advanced copy of his new book, which is brilliant, but contains a neurodivergent character that doesn't ring quite true to me. (I'm neurodivergent, if that matters.) In a recent conversation, I complimented him on his truly wonderful book, but when I tried to talk about this character in what I hoped was a light way, he said, coldly and dismissively, 'I don't care what you think.'

Miss Manners: Do my former work friends want to be friend-friends?
Miss Manners: Do my former work friends want to be friend-friends?

Washington Post

time3 days ago

  • General
  • Washington Post

Miss Manners: Do my former work friends want to be friend-friends?

Dear Miss Manners: After 25 years at the same company, my role was eliminated by the parent corporation. When it comes to former co-workers, who should call whom after such a job loss? I consider this something like a sympathy situation and wonder if the remaining employees should call or write me to offer their support. If I should want to keep in touch with some of my work associates, should I make the first contact? If I have not received any contact, should I assume no one wishes to do so? Is there any convention for this situation? There are multiple conventions, depending on whether the relationship between the current employee and the departing one is personal or solely professional — and also, unfortunately, on whether one wants to do what is proper or what is commonly done. All too often, employees pretend the person fired never existed, which is both heartless and foolish, as it convinces bosses they will get the same response whether they make good decisions or bad ones. But Miss Manners objects to treating such departures like deaths. Besides being unduly pessimistic, this makes personal assumptions about the terms of the separation and the feelings of the former employee. Such assumptions may be inaccurate and even condescending. Employees whose jobs are eliminated should be treated the same as other departing employees. You may reach out to actual friends or they may reach out to you — just be prepared to find out that some people you thought were friends are not so loyal when they do not see you at work. Dear Miss Manners: What is the best way to communicate 'dressy casual' on an invitation? With a decoder ring. Dear Miss Manners: Is it okay to give someone an item that one found? I found a really nice bracelet at a park. I took it to my jeweler, who confirmed that it was made of 14 karat white gold, with diamonds and garnets. I tried my best to find the owner, placing an ad in a local online publication. It has been some weeks now, and no one has claimed it. Someone dear to me has a birthday soon, and her birthstone happens to be a garnet. The bracelet is in a style that I imagine would appeal to her. She is not one to wear much jewelry besides her wedding rings — often just simple earrings when dressing up. But this piece is dainty and the stones are not ostentatious. Would it be okay to give the bracelet to her? As etiquette prohibits you from snatching a gift back out of the recipient's hands, Miss Manners recommends against giving away something to which you do not have a clear title. This will save you the embarrassment of having to explain to someone who sees the notice after returning from an extended stay abroad why you no longer have the bracelet. Or of explaining to your friend how you came by an exact replica of her grandmother's bracelet, which the grandmother lost on a walk in the park last month. New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, You can also follow her @RealMissManners. © 2025 Judith Martin

Miss Manners: Wonderful hostess makes very poor guest
Miss Manners: Wonderful hostess makes very poor guest

Washington Post

time4 days ago

  • Washington Post

Miss Manners: Wonderful hostess makes very poor guest

Dear Miss Manners: I have visited a dear friend a few times over the years, and each time, I am greeted with a lovely guest room: comfortable bedding, fresh flowers and fluffy towels, all of which made my stay extra special. When she visited me for the first time, I was excited to put together a similar experience for her. But I was rather shocked to discover that she arrived with a sleeping bag and her own towels, saying she didn't want to inconvenience me.

Miss Manners: Well-meant gift turns into food poisoning
Miss Manners: Well-meant gift turns into food poisoning

Washington Post

time7 days ago

  • General
  • Washington Post

Miss Manners: Well-meant gift turns into food poisoning

Dear Miss Manners: My husband and I are good friends with a couple who were kind enough to cook us some delicious food. They brought back ingredients from their country of origin the last time they visited family there and made us a dish using a recipe from their grandma. They even went to the trouble of freezing the dish so they could give us a few containers of it the last time we all hung out.

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