3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Indian Express
Eminem reveals how fame threatened his daughter's safety; opens up about drug battle in new documentary STANS
After years of battling drug addiction, American rapper Eminem opened up about it in his new documentary STANS, released on August 7. The film features the rapper (real name Marshall Mathers), along with Dr. Dre, and LL Cool J, exploring the intense and often messy relationship he's had with listeners during his meteoric rise, all while fighting a 'vicious cycle' of addiction that nearly killed him. Directed by Steven Leckart, STANS takes its name from Eminem's 2000 hit 'Stan,' the tragic story of an obsessed fan.
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'None of it's normal. None of this is normal,' the 52-year-old said, looking straight into the camera as the show opened. 'Once the 'Hi, My Name Is' video, once MTV accepted that and played it, it was like a switch flipped overnight,' Eminem said. Stan culture played a huge part in Eminem's life. In 'Stan,' which became one of his most iconic songs, he sings about a fan whose obsession with his idol drives him to death. The song also featured Dido. Since then, the term has become one of pop culture's go-to phrases, which die-hard fans use to describe themselves.
In the documentary, the Hip Hop legend revealed being stuck in a dangerous cycle at the peak of fame, feeling depressed, taking more pills, building tolerance, then overdosing. He said he woke up in the hospital with tubes in his body, confused about what had happened. 'After the overdose, I came home like I needed something… like, I'm gonna die if I don't do anything.'
After returning home, Eminem faced the devastating news that he had missed his daughter Hailie Jade's first guitar recital. Someone from his team brought him the recorded clip to watch and try to make him feel better. Watching it, he cried. The guilt didn't let him sleep. He asked himself if he really wanted to miss moments like that for the rest of his life. ''Oh my God, I missed that.' I kept saying to myself, 'Do you want to miss this again? Do you want to miss everything? If you can't do it for yourself, at least do it for them.' I realised I'm never doing this again.'
Eminem described a moment in his life when he went to a mall with his little daughter. Unlike every time where he had to disguise himself, he chose to walk free, and moments later was swarmed by fans to the point he felt it became a threat to their security. 'I picked her up and I'm like, 'Come on kiddo, time to go,' and as I'm walking faster and faster they're walking faster and faster, and I feel like I'm being chased out the mall.' That was the point he realised something was terribly wrong with him and it needed to be changed. 'I can't do this anymore, I gotta protect my baby. So that was a scary moment. Scary for her, too. She doesn't remember, she was too little to remember it, but I remember it and it was crazy.'
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In 2009 the rapper released his album Relapse, addressing his drug battle and mocking his addiction. The album however received an underwhelming response. 'But it did something. It turned the light on. Like, 'You gotta do something different. Why don't you try embracing sobriety?' I realised I'm not embarrassed anymore about it,' Eminem said. Eminem has been sober and vocal about his Sobriety journey since 2008. But early in recovery, he said he had to relearn how to walk, talk, and even rap again. 'My writing had gotten terrible. When I started to get it back, it was exciting. Because I felt it. It would be conversations, just having conversations with people or the TV… It was hitting me really fast and I was writing songs really quickly,' he recalled. 17 years later, he now treats sobriety like a 'superpower' and is proud of quitting. He's also a father to Alaina and Stevie, both 32.
Some of Eminem's real-life 'stans' crossed the line, sending him letters that went beyond idol obsession. 'Our psychic connection is so strong I sometimes think you are God,' read one. Another: 'I love listening to you and acting like we're friends.' One woman revealed she has 22 Eminem tattoos, landing her in the Guinness World Records. People told her she belonged in a 'mental institution.' But, not every letter was dark. Some fans said they became sober because of him. One stopped taking pain meds after hearing his story. Others credited him with helping them face mental health battles.
