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The Spinoff
03-06-2025
- Entertainment
- The Spinoff
The worst things that can happen to you as a New Zealander, ranked
Chris Bishop was told to 'shut up you dickhead' by Don McGlashan. But how does that compare to being called an egg by Judy Bailey or driving Jason Gunn to profanity? National minister Chris Bishop's night at the Aotearoa Music Awards started off so well. He grinned on the red carpet in a Fur Patrol T-shirt. He partook in some free refreshments. He escaped being booed by the hordes of pinko artists swarming the Viaduct Events Centre thanks to Jesse Mulligan sandwiching his name between Jenny Salesa's and Kahurangi Carter's during the introductions. He would have got away unscathed if it wasn't for Stan Walker and his pesky flags. The singer brought out banners reading Toitū te Tiriti during his rendition of 'Māori Ki Te Ao'. During the performance, the minister was caught on video saying, 'What a load of crap', and something about 'performative acclaim'. Reports vary on why he was so upset. But one thing's for certain: his negative review caught the ear of The Mutton Birds lead singer and venerated musical elder statesman Don McGlashan, who turned around and said 'ah, shut up you dickhead'. The moment appears to have instantly short-circuited Bishop's brain. 'I could say the same to you,' he retorted, confusingly. It's possible the minister was knocked off balance by the sheer magnitude of what had just taken place. Being told to 'shut up you dickhead' by Don McGlashan is the kind of thing that only happens in nightmares. Bishop must have felt like he was back in the aftermath of the 2020 general election, when he received the vision of hell. The exchange has sparked a national debate. Should cabinet ministers be allowed to give their opinions on official business? Should you wear a Fur Patrol T-shirt while saying things Fur Patrol hates? But most importantly, is being told to 'shut up you dickhead' by Don McGlashan the worst thing that could happen to you as a New Zealander? Some commentators believe so. But do those commentators have turnips where their brains should be? The only way to find out is by scientifically assessing every horrendous potential Kiwi trauma and ranking them in order. 10. The Topp Twins exhorting a crowd to tell you to 'fuck off' Mike Hosking went through all the stages of grief after Lynda and Jools Topp led a chant of 'fuck off Mike Hosking, we have the power' during a protest at parliament over RNZ stripping back Concert FM. 'What the hell's that about?' he asked. 'What have I got to do with Concert FM?' Classic denial. Next, anger and bargaining. 'Do they have queen's honours? What I am going to do today is start a petition to have their queen's honours stripped from them for behaviour unbecoming to royalty,' he resolved. From there the Newstalk ZB host lapsed into depression, clicking on a blog post from Lindsay Perigo. Finally came acceptance, with Hosking conceding that chanting 'fuck Mike Hosking' is actually fun. 'I know what I'm doing this Saturday night.' 9. Being called an egg by Judy Bailey There is no evidence of Judy Bailey (nee Mother of the Nation) calling anyone an egg. To assert she's called people eggs would put you in danger of defamation action. However, if she did, hypothetically, call someone an egg, it would inflict an emotional toll so high that person would likely have to lather themself in Kiwi onion dip and retire to a monastic life at the Tui Brewery. 8. A former prime minister telling the current prime minister to tell you to shut up 7. Saying something so sexist the soon-to-be prime minister rebukes you on live TV When Mark Richardson arrived for his shift at The AM Show on August 2, 2017, he had almost every job in New Zealand media. He was the host of The Block NZ. He was on the radio. The Project. The cricket. Then he proceeded to say employers 'need to know' whether the women they're hiring plan to get pregnant. 'No, no, no,' intoned his despairing co-host. 'You,' said the new Labour leader, fixing him with a point and look so stern Richardson must have thought she was going to put him into lockdown three years early. 'It is totally unacceptable in 2017 to say that women should have to answer that question in the workplace. That is unacceptable in 2017.' Richardson is now an investment adviser. 6. Getting shoved by Sir Richard Hadlee This really happened to Black Caps supporter and The Spinoff production editor, Calum Henderson. It left a lifelong scar. 'It was near the end of a one day international at Carisbrook, he had post-match presentations to make and I was in his way,' he explains. 'Now that I think about it, being shoved by such a godlike figure as a child could be the source of my low self-esteem.' 5. Being called a drongo by Sam Neill There is no evidence of Sam Neill calling anyone an drongo. To assert that he's called someone a drongo would put you in danger of being murdered and fed to his pigs. But being called a drongo by Sam Neill would be almost as terrible as being murdered and fed to Sam Neill's pigs. 4. Writing a Facebook post so bad it makes Jason Gunn say 'shit' It's almost impossible to make Jason Gunn mad but Laraine found a way. 3. Being told to 'shut up you dickhead' by Don McGlashan 'Shut up you dickhead' is one of the worst things you can say to a New Zealander. First, it implies the person on the receiving end purposely drew attention to themselves – a cultural faux pas roughly equivalent to smearing Marmite on a croissant in the middle of the Avenue des Champs-Élysées. But worse, what they were saying wasn't even that good. Having this phrase levelled at you by a random drunk? Bad. By Don McGlashan? Sir, will you serve as my second? 2. Being called a c*nt by Suzy Cato There is no evidence that Suzy Cato has ever called someone a c*nt. To say she's called someone a c*nt would put you in danger of being fed into a blender while the Suzy's World host sings 'see ya, see ya later, it's time to say goodbye'. Cato's friend, Auckland councillor Richard Hills, says she would be physically incapable of calling someone a c*nt. In fact, Hills made me star the word c*nt because Cato would be 'shocked' seeing it in print. I've honoured that request as nothing fills me with more dread than the possibility of Suzy Cato thinking I'm a cunt. 1. Dave Dobbyn failing to get the Big Fresh animatronic fruit and veges into Te Papa for you You know what isn't a slice of heaven? Having a dream of getting the Big Fresh animatronic fruit and veges into Te Papa, convincing Dave Dobbyn to help you achieve that dream, and still somehow failing. This actually happened to someone I know, and it inflicted such trauma they're still writing about it in the third person because describing it in the first person would be to accept that the events actually took place. Look, you can see the moment his heart breaks.
Scoop
01-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Scoop
Chris Bishop's Comments During Stan Walker's Performance Have ‘No Place' At Aotearoa Music Awards
The producers of the Aotearoa Music Awards have condemned Cabinet Minister Chris Bishop's comments during Stan Walker's performance, saying his remarks have 'no place' at the awards ceremony. At Auckland's Viaduct Events Centre on Thursday night Bishop was captured on video declaring 'what a load of crap' during Walker's performance, which prominently featured Toitū Te Tiriti banners. Some people in front of him were on their feet dancing and waving tino rangatiratanga flags. In a statement issued on Saturday, the producers said they were committed to creating a 'safe, respectful and inclusive environment' and that these 'expectations were clearly communicated to all who attended the event'. 'The inappropriate comments made by Hon. Chris Bishop during Stan Walker's performance have no place at the Aotearoa Music Awards,' the statement read. 'The Awards respect and honour te ao Māori and we were proud to support Stan with his vision for his powerful rendition of Māori Ki Te Ao.' In a statement to RNZ, Bishop admitted he said 'what a lot of crap' and something about performative acclaim. He said it referred to what he called the overtly political branding on display. Renowned musician Don McGlashan was seen on the video confronting Bishop, but McGlashan said he did not realise at first that it was the minister. 'I could hear an enormous amount of ranting, kind of against the whole thing. I didn't get the full gist of it, but it was basically – 'the hīkoi is ages ago, sit down everybody' – so this geezer was just ranting away and telling everybody to sit down,' McGlashan said. 'After a while, I turned to him and said 'Ah, shut up you dickhead' and I looked at him and I thought, 'Oh, I know that face'. Then he said, 'What did you say to me?''. McGlashan said that he again told Bishop to ''shut up you dickhead', and he said, 'I could say the same to you,' and I said, 'Well, I wasn't talking and you were.' And then I realised I was talking to the leader of the House'. Another witness said the minister appeared to them to be drunk. 'For him to take an instant dis-gratification towards Toitū Te Tiriti and that movement and to say that it's a load of crap is actually highly offensive. I'm very worried for somebody of high power in this country to be making those sorts of remarks in public,' they said. Bishop has since acknowledged his comments were poorly judged, telling RNZ: 'On reflection, I should have kept my thoughts to myself.' However, he has denied making specific remarks about the hīkoi – the protest marches that have taken place across Aotearoa in support of upholding the Treaty of Waitangi – and has suggested the backlash amounts to a 'political smear job'. 'Chris is a long-time supporter of New Zealand music and went to the Awards to celebrate successful Kiwi artists,' a spokesperson said. Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has declined to comment further, with his office saying the PM had nothing to add to Bishop's statement. David Seymour defended Bishop shortly after he was sworn in as deputy prime minister on Saturday. 'Just because you become a senior minister, it doesn't mean you should stop having opinions,' Seymour said. 'It might well be that, based on what Chris saw in that moment, he was correct. It may be that people will agree with him.' Seymour said he believed New Zealanders would draw their own conclusions.
Scoop
01-06-2025
- Entertainment
- Scoop
Chris Bishop's Comments During Stan Walker's Performance Have 'No Place' At Aotearoa Music Awards
The producers of the Aotearoa Music Awards have condemned Cabinet Minister Chris Bishop's comments during Stan Walker's performance, saying his remarks have "no place" at the awards ceremony. At Auckland's Viaduct Events Centre on Thursday night Bishop was captured on video declaring "what a load of crap" during Walker's performance, which prominently featured Toitū Te Tiriti banners. Some people in front of him were on their feet dancing and waving tino rangatiratanga flags. In a statement issued on Saturday, the producers said they were committed to creating a "safe, respectful and inclusive environment" and that these "expectations were clearly communicated to all who attended the event". "The inappropriate comments made by Hon. Chris Bishop during Stan Walker's performance have no place at the Aotearoa Music Awards," the statement read. "The Awards respect and honour te ao Māori and we were proud to support Stan with his vision for his powerful rendition of Māori Ki Te Ao." In a statement to RNZ, Bishop admitted he said "what a lot of crap" and something about performative acclaim. He said it referred to what he called the overtly political branding on display. Renowned musician Don McGlashan was seen on the video confronting Bishop, but McGlashan said he did not realise at first that it was the minister. "I could hear an enormous amount of ranting, kind of against the whole thing. I didn't get the full gist of it, but it was basically - 'the hīkoi is ages ago, sit down everybody' - so this geezer was just ranting away and telling everybody to sit down," McGlashan said. "After a while, I turned to him and said 'Ah, shut up you dickhead' and I looked at him and I thought, 'Oh, I know that face'. Then he said, 'What did you say to me?'". McGlashan said that he again told Bishop to "'shut up you dickhead', and he said, 'I could say the same to you,' and I said, 'Well, I wasn't talking and you were.' And then I realised I was talking to the leader of the House". Another witness said the minister appeared to them to be drunk. "For him to take an instant dis-gratification towards Toitū Te Tiriti and that movement and to say that it's a load of crap is actually highly offensive. I'm very worried for somebody of high power in this country to be making those sorts of remarks in public," they said. Bishop has since acknowledged his comments were poorly judged, telling RNZ: "On reflection, I should have kept my thoughts to myself." However, he has denied making specific remarks about the hīkoi - the protest marches that have taken place across Aotearoa in support of upholding the Treaty of Waitangi - and has suggested the backlash amounts to a "political smear job". "Chris is a long-time supporter of New Zealand music and went to the Awards to celebrate successful Kiwi artists," a spokesperson said. Prime Minister Christopher Luxon has declined to comment further, with his office saying the PM had nothing to add to Bishop's statement. David Seymour defended Bishop shortly after he was sworn in as deputy prime minister on Saturday. "Just because you become a senior minister, it doesn't mean you should stop having opinions," Seymour said. "It might well be that, based on what Chris saw in that moment, he was correct. It may be that people will agree with him." Seymour said he believed New Zealanders would draw their own conclusions.
NZ Herald
30-05-2025
- Entertainment
- NZ Herald
Aotearoa Music Awards 2025: On The Red Carpet Stars Shone A Spotlight On New Zealand Fashion
Local artists showcased their love and appreciation for fashion at the 60th celebration of the Aotearoa Music Awards at Auckland's Viaduct Events Centre. Is the AMAs the most stylish night of all in Aotearoa? The 2025 red carpet might convince you. Attendees celebrating the 60th year of the awards chose pieces from both well-established designers (think Zambesi, Wynn Hamlyn, Paris Georgia) and upcoming and underground artists (Fringes, Nineteen 99 and Caitlin Snell). Beyond the show of designers, it's also an impeccably dressed crowd – ensembles, whether they're thrifted, custom or pulled from the back of a wardrobe, were a tool of self-expression. This was a talking point on stage, too. Hori Shaw, accepting his award for Breakthrough Artist, pointed to his camouflage and Crocs and said, 'I feel more comfortable like this, instead of wearing suits ...' It's unsurprising that our local artists show an awareness and appreciation for their chosen garments – they're familiar with the way clothing can propel a persona, performance or message. Nowhere was this clearer than garments and T-shirts worn by those waving Toitū Te Tiriti flags during Stan Walker's performance of Māori Ki Te Ao. Below is a snapshot of the best looks of the evening at the Viaduct Events Centre. It was a carpet full of local artists who showcased a deep care for the convergence of creativity and culture in Aotearoa. Amelia Murray began the evening in a custom Oosterom blazer dress and Bronwyn boots. Later, she changed into a glittering Stolen Girlfriends dress and fur-trimmed leather jacket to perform Cherry Pie and accept her second award of the night – for Album Of The Year – to a standing ovation. Stan Walker Stan Walker wore a black and white ensemble with a floor-length coat by Morghan Ariki Bradshaw of Fugawi. The piece features handwritten messages of encouragement. One reads: 'Knowing where we're from gives us direction'. Jujulipps Jujulipps, who has been gravitating to knit and crochet sets as of late, showed up in a grey and silver tassled set. Vera Ellen Among the coolest looks of the night was this ensemble from Vera Ellen. The painted, distressed and screen-printed dress is from slow fashion label Formula 7 and the crochet sleeves and hat are by Vivet. Mokotron Tiopira McDowell, who took home the award for Best Electronic Artist, donned a 'Land Bacc' T-shirt from Sovereign Clothing Aotearoa. Isla Noon, Jason Parker and Maude Pop artist Isla Noon is also dressed by Oosterom, cinching a white button-up with a heavy leather belt. The sheer skirt mixes lace and sequins. Musician Jason Parker dons a fiery Kowtow colourway while producer Maude opts for a mint ensemble. Tusekah Neo-soul artist Tusekah wears a simple and glamorous dress by Paris Georgia. Chaii Chaii twinkled throughout the evening in Claudia Li, walking the red carpet in a blazer that dripped with jewels. On stage, she changed into a similarly glitzy two-piece and added a voluminous tulle stole. Symone Tafuna'i and Janay Harding Reporting for music show Tahi, friend of Viva Symone Tafuna'i also donned a blazer dress – this one is by Nineteen 99. Janay Harding wore a suit by Fugawi. The cropped jacket has 'We Are Planted in The Soil Of Our Ancestors' on the back. Georgia Lines Georgia Lines began the evening in a dress from New York-based designer Lirika Matoshi but changed into a button-adorned Wynn Hamlyn dress for her performance later in the night. She also carried a gleaming silver Georgia Jay bag for both. Aaradhna Singer-songwriter Aaradhna, nominated for Album Of The Year for Sweet Surrender, wears a golden-hued bias-cut dress from Zambesi. Tami Neilson It's a reliably vibrant look from Tami Neilson, who won Best Country Artist. The skirt! The gold boots! The neckchief! Rikii Reid Riiki Reid's almost-monochromatic black ensemble is oh-so slick. The artist is wearing a top from upcoming designer Caitlin Snell's collection 'The Maiden ', which debuted in her first runway show last year. Ashy Ashy Batchelor walked the carpet in these teensy, clacky kitten heels – which were cool and bold among a parade of chunky boots. The fur coat layered over the baby pink dress is equally poised. Dān Dān Singer-songwriter Danielle Hao-Aickin, who is one half of sibling duo Ersha Island 二沙岛 and also produces music solo as dān dān, dons an entirely thrifted ensemble. The underlayer is partially hanfu 汉服 (ancient Chinese clothing) – the swirly vest and boots are both second-hand. Hollie Smith Designer and stylist Natasha Ovely, previously of Starving Artist Fund, styled this textural ensemble worn by singer-songwriter Hollie Smith. The glistening woven top is by Shona Tawhiao, of Tawhiao 7, and the jewellery is by Nick Von K. The safety pins through the tartan skirt are a deliciously punkish touch. Lorde After mentioning to fans at her impromptu YMCA performance that she would attend the awards, Lorde walked the carpet donning a strapless suit set. Expectedly, she wears the slate grey that has quickly become emblematic of her upcoming album Virgin (adding heavy chain-link bracelets and silver ballet flats). Bonus: Best Group Shot So much great fashion taste in the best group shot of the night, featuring the artists of Atomic! There's double denim, romantic sheer, leather, 70s stripes and a tambourine. Could NZ music be any cooler? More on music From red carpets to intimate profiles. The Coolest Red Carpet Looks From The Taite Music Prize 2025. Attendees and award-winners at the Taite Music Prize 2025 dressed to showcase their values and vibrancy on the carpet. What Do New Zealand Musicians Wear To Feel Their Best On Stage? From secure, sturdy footwear to breathable mesh tops and tailored suits, three music acts from Aotearoa explain to Madeleine Crutchley the function of their fashion. NZ Musician Reb Fountain On Touring, Politics, Privilege & Responsibility. Setting out to tour her sixth album, How Love Bends, Reb Fountain tells Tyson Beckett about the freedom, and weight, that comes with being an artist in and of the moment. Teeks On His New Music & Unpacking Toxic Masculinity. 'Being in touch with your emotions is not considered a masculine thing but because I was in the process of making this album I was like, 'Nah man, fuck that.''
