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New York Times
01-06-2025
- General
- New York Times
‘I Thought to Myself: I'm Not Going to Rush This Time'
Pretty Fast in Pink Dear Diary: I was standing at the corner of Lexington Avenue and 42nd Street. The blinking 'walk' sign indicated four seconds left to cross. Tired and somewhat defeated after a long day, I thought to myself: I'm not going to rush this time. Just then, a tall woman dressed in pink from head to toe, with pink nails, heels, sunglasses and cowboy hat to match, slapped me on the back. 'We got this!' she said. We darted across the avenue together and high-fived when we got to the other side. — Nick Trepanier No Seats Dear Diary: Seventy-five years old and late for an appointment at N.Y.U., I hopped onto a downtown Q headed for Times Square. Submit Your Metropolitan Diary Your story must be connected to New York City and no longer than 300 words. An editor will contact you if your submission is being considered for publication. Want all of The Times? Subscribe.


New York Times
24-05-2025
- Business
- New York Times
These Are the U.S. Universities Most Dependent on International Students
The Trump administration's threat to block Harvard from enrolling international students would remove more than a quarter of the university's student body, a share large enough to rock its campus and, potentially, its tuition revenue. The move, frozen within 24 hours on Friday by a federal judge, also highlights the risk other universities face from an administration that has shown deep hostility toward higher education. N.Y.U., Johns Hopkins, Columbia and Carnegie Mellon have even larger international student shares than Harvard does. This metric that once reflected their international renown — and financial strength — now looks like a vulnerability. As a share of full-time undergrad. and students in fall 2023 Shows fall enrollment of full-time students at selective four-year colleges and universities that offer bachelor's degrees and above, with at least 1,000 students. Source: National Center for Education Statistics, Carnegie Classification The share of international students studying at these colleges and across the United States has been growing for the past two decades as rising incomes in countries like China and India have produced more families looking to educate their children in America. Domestic forces have played a role, too: Public research universities in particular have turned to international students, who commonly pay full price for tuition, to help compensate for declines in state funding for education. 'We have all this debate about trade deficits with China right now,' said Gaurav Khanna, an economist at the University of California, San Diego, who has studied these shifts in higher education. 'That's a deficit in goods. But when you think of services — like higher ed services — we have a big surplus.' Among full-time undergrad. and students at 193 colleges Based on fall enrollment figures among 193 selective four-year colleges and universities that offer bachelor's degrees and above, with at least 1,000 students. Source: National Center for Education Statistics, Carnegie Classification Higher education is, effectively, a major American export — and one where the foreign students consuming it do so in American communities, also spending money on housing, groceries and books there. More than 1.1 million international students contributed about $43 billion to the U.S. economy during the 2023-24 academic year, most of it on tuition and housing, according to an analysis by NAFSA, a nonprofit association of international educators. U.S. students, by contrast, often receive financial aid directly from universities or other federal programs. And at public universities, many pay lower in-state tuition. As a result, foreign students can end up contributing more than one and a half times as much as their American counterparts in tuition dollars, said Mirka Martel, head of research, evaluation and learning at the Institute of International Education. Another way to look at this is that the higher tuition paid by international students helps subsidize lower costs for U.S. students. At some public universities, international students pay a tuition rate that's even higher than regular out-of-state tuition. For universities, all of this means that a decline in international students could have serious financial consequences, beyond disrupting classrooms, research and the next generation of workers in the United States. And even without threats as grave as the one Harvard now faces, colleges and universities were already bracing for a decline in international students amid the Trump administration's cuts to federally funded research and aggressive immigration enforcement.


New York Times
22-04-2025
- General
- New York Times
Some People Are Just Difficult. Here's How to Handle Them.
Earlier in my career, I worked for a hot-tempered woman who, according to an office rumor, had thrown a shoe at one of my predecessors. Rattled by her blowups, I tiptoed and stammered around her, fearing the day when she'd wing a pump at me. Then a friend passed along 'Coping With Difficult Bosses' by Robert M. Bramson, which was published in 1992. The book's solid, seen-it-all advice helped me stop perseverating and find my spine. I learned from Dr. Bramson to stand tall when my boss exploded, to call her by her name (to humanize the relationship) and, if I couldn't quite look her in the eye, to focus on her forehead — close enough that she couldn't tell the difference. If you're struggling with a difficult colleague, family member or friend, books can validate your experience and teach you helpful communication skills, said William Doherty, a professor emeritus of family social science at the University of Minnesota and a co-founder of Braver Angels, a nonpartisan nonprofit that facilitates conversations between people with differing political views. But, he added, be wary of books that give you 'one large global theory' about whatever is wrong with the other person. Most relationship problems are caused by both parties, at least to some degree, he said, so books that encourage you to consider your part are generally more helpful. We asked therapists, psychologists and other workplace experts to recommend books that can help you get along with difficult people — or at least disagree with them more constructively. Here are six titles that rose to the top of the list. 'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie In this classic advice book, originally published in 1936, Mr. Carnegie, a pork salesman turned public-speaking sensation, draws on his experience and the experiences of others to explore ways to ease tension 'when personal problems become overwhelming.' He also details effective strategies for getting people to stop noxious, bullheaded behavior, including by admitting your own mistakes first so they are more receptive to your feedback. Jonathan Haidt, a professor of social psychology at N.Y.U.'s Stern School of Business and the author of 'The Anxious Generation,' said in an email that he assigns Mr. Carnegie's book to his students and has found it helpful personally. 'It taught me to avoid arguments and instead listen, learn, take the other person's perspective and then, if warranted, persuade skillfully,' he said. 'Why Won't You Apologize?' by Harriet Lerner This 2017 title from Dr. Lerner, a psychotherapist and best-selling author, offers a framework for understanding how skillful, sincere apologies can repair even profound rifts in relationships. It also delves into why some people overapologize, while others can't say 'I'm sorry' without a blame-reversing rider that only makes the injured party feel worse. Calling it 'the best self-help book' he'd ever read, Dr. Doherty recommended it because of the generous, detailed way Dr. Lerner describes the intricate back-and-forth dance between the offended and the offender, normalizing familiar problems with apologies so we can understand and potentially improve them. 'The Asshole Survival Guide' by Robert I. Sutton In this 2017 follow-up to his organizational-psychology best seller 'The No Asshole Rule,' Dr. Sutton writes that he thought the topic 'would be a brief side trip.' But the thousands of requests for advice that he received after the book came out persuaded him to stay on the beat. The resulting guide is packed with tips and strategies for dealing with demeaning and disrespectful people, including by using humor to save your sanity and carefully documenting evidence of workplace harassment to give yourself leverage if you decide to go to human resources. Adam Grant, an organizational psychologist at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School of Business and a contributing Opinion writer at The New York Times, said in an email that he has recommended the book to more people than he can count, calling it 'an impressively evidence-based, surprisingly actionable read on how to deal with abusive bosses, difficult colleagues and toxic customers.' 'The Defining Decade' by Meg Jay Daphne de Marneffe, a clinical psychotherapist in the San Francisco Bay Area and author of 'The Rough Patch,' said in an email that this book, first published in 2012, about navigating one's 20s had really stuck with her. Dr. Jay, drawing on research on brains and human development, argues that our 20s are a potentially future-defining decade. When young adults, who are more likely than older adults to feel walloped by criticism, decide to bail out on difficult situations with difficult people — including cranky, faultfinding bosses — they miss out on valuable opportunities to learn how to calm themselves and develop confidence. While Dr. Jay's point about the benefits of gaining enough mettle to withstand jerks at work (or wherever they crop up) may be particularly helpful to young adults, 'I think it's applicable to all ages,' Dr. de Marneffe said. 'Difficult Conversations' by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heen This international best seller, first published in 1999, dives below the surface of personal and professional disagreements to show how quickly they breed distrust and negative assumptions about the people with whom we disagree. 'This was one of the first books I read on how to have difficult conversations, and I find myself going back to it again and again with clients,' Elizabeth Earnshaw, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Philadelphia and the author of the book ''Til Stress Do Us Part,' said in an email. Among its 'clear and actionable suggestions,' the book outlines a process for both parties to 'own their part' in creating the problem in the relationship, Ms. Earnshaw said. The first person to admit any wrongdoing is 'modeling to the other person that it is safe for them to express their own contribution, too,' she explained. 'The Art of Possibility,' by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander First published in 2000, this is a magpie book of practices for achieving personal and professional fulfillment. Filled with stories that underscore the high costs of leaping to conclusions and labeling other people as dangerous or difficult, it shows readers how, with a shift in perspective or adjustment toward generosity, they can improve challenging relationships and live happier lives. 'Without a doubt, we've got more than a few 'difficult' people in the world,' Seth Godin, a marketing expert and author of 'This Is Strategy,' said in an email. 'But often, the most productive way forward is to realize that they have a hard-earned self-talk that's driving their behavior. Just as each of us do,' Mr. Godin said. ''The Art of Possibility' is the best book I know about empathy,' he added.


New York Times
10-04-2025
- Entertainment
- New York Times
Book Review: ‘My Documents,' by Kevin Nguyen
MỸ DOCUMENTS, by Kevin Nguyen As with many California high schoolers, my education in Japanese internment came from one book: Jeanne Wakatsuki Houston's memoir, 'Farewell to Manzanar.' My classmates and I quickly arrived at a troubling conundrum. How could a nation founded on freedom strip thousands of its citizens of their rights overnight? 'Mỹ Documents,' Kevin Nguyen's comically macabre sophomore novel, riffs on that perennial question. The photograph of an internment camp on the front cover, snapped by the legendary photographer Ansel Adams in 1943, underscores Nguyen's base assumption: Manzanar 2.0 is inevitable. The real question is what kind of culture will emerge when the camps return. (Ironic Big Dog T-shirts as a fashion trend, it turns out.) At first, the book reads like a realist family novel. Four half siblings stare down their respective comings of age. Ursula, a disaffected young journalist, and Alvin, a fresh-faced Google intern, navigate the work force. Jen and Duncan are students on the edge of self-discovery, at N.Y.U. and an Indiana high school. They share an emotional wound from the Vietnamese father who abandoned them. Despite their bond, cracks are visible early on: clashing personalities and outlooks on life, differences in class and ethnic identity (Alvin and Ursula are biracial). Nguyen's prose is wry but lively, and promises a sprawling story about the ordinary dramas that make a life. Then, a delightful twist arrives, albeit in a horrifying package: A series of terrorist attacks lead to legislation that creates internment camps for Vietnamese Americans. Jen, Duncan and their Vietnamese mother are incarcerated; Ursula and Alvin snag exemptions. With such imaginative risks, Nguyen kicks what has turned out to be an alternate history of the 2010s into high gear. The writer is a stellar satirist. (The title itself is an inside joke: 'Mỹ' is the Vietnamese word for America.) Take, for example, the fact that the legislation responsible for the camps, American Advanced Protections Initiative, shares an abbreviation with the demographic category it targets. An otherwise unassuming sentence takes on a much funnier, and politically astute, resonance: 'Being half white certainly helped but didn't always guarantee exclusion from A.A.P.I.' Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times. Thank you for your patience while we verify access. Already a subscriber? Log in. Want all of The Times? Subscribe.


New York Times
04-04-2025
- New York Times
Vandalism of Muslim Prayer Room at N.Y.U. Is Investigated as Hate Crime
A prayer room used by Muslim students at New York University was struck by vandals who etched and drew graffiti on the walls and soaked Islamic prayer mats with urine, according to N.Y.U. officials and members of the university's Muslim community. The soiled mats and other vandalism were discovered Thursday afternoon in a worship space inside Bobst Library, the university's towering red building across from Washington Square Park in Greenwich Village. An image of male genitalia was drawn onto the wall of the room, along with the letters 'AEPI,' the nickname of Alpha Epsilon Pi, a nationwide Jewish fraternity that was suspended from N.Y.U. in 2015 for hazing, according to a university directory of suspended fraternities and sororities. N.Y.U. said it had reported the vandalism to the police and would conduct its own investigation to find and punish the vandals. The university said those found to be responsible would be 'subject to the most serious sanctions available through our disciplinary process.' 'This desecration of a religious space is vile, reprehensible and utterly unacceptable,' the university said in a statement on Thursday. 'It contravenes every principle of our community, and we condemn it.' Jonathan Pierce, a spokesman for Alpha Epsilon Pi's national organization, said it 'strongly condemns' the vandalism and would 'fully cooperate with the administration's investigation.' Thank you for your patience while we verify access. If you are in Reader mode please exit and log into your Times account, or subscribe for all of The Times. Thank you for your patience while we verify access. Already a subscriber? Log in. Want all of The Times? Subscribe.