16 hours ago
In Defense of Not Being The 'Fun Mom'
Inviting 'fun' moms to the playdate? That's not Kayla Masse.
'I'm definitely not relaxed,' Masse, a pregnant mother of three in Rhode Island, tells
On TikTok, Masse introduced herself as the 'Not Fun Mom,' in the video text: 'Mom friends will get it and those who don't are simply not my people right now.'
'I'll be the first to admit that I am not the 'Fun Mom' at summer outings,' Masse said in her TikTok video. 'I'm not the one. You want to go to the ocean? That's great. I'm going to be counting heads the whole time. I'm counting kids the whole time.'
Masse continued in the video: 'You want to get a big group of people together and do a pool party? That's great. I'm going to be with my kids. I'm parenting. If I have your kids? They're going to have less fun, too. Sorry.'
Kids in Masse's care will play waist-level in bodies of water, she said.
'When there is a big group of people around, everyone assumes that somebody has eyes on the kids," Masse said in the video. 'When that assumption is made, nobody has eyes on the kids, because everybody is assuming that somebody else is doing it.'
Masse won't be gabbing with other parents, either.
'I will be watching my kids,' Masse said in the video. 'I am not hanging out at the tent with you, having a good conversation. I am down by the water, counting kids, making sure everybody is having good safe fun. So, if you thought I was going to go ahead and relax, far from it. There's no relaxing to be done.'
Masse's kids don't think she's 'fun,' but she has plenty of it.
'Will I still go and have a good time?' Masse said in the video. 'Yeah, I will, but I'll be parenting. And that's just how it is right now.'
The 'Not Fun Mom' found her people on TikTok:
'Let me reframe this for you — you're the Safe Mom.'
'I was a lifeguard for almost a decade. I will never be the 'Fun Parent' and I also will forever judge other parents' water safety.'
'Are we the same person? I literally won't let ANYONE watch my kid. Nobody watches like Mama watches.'
'I've been called a 'Helicopter Mom' but honestly, my anxiety won't let me be anything less.'
'I'm a drag! But everyone is going home safe.'
'Parents should agree to rotate the responsibility so at least they can each have a turn taking a break.'
'Same. Also, I'm not drinking. What if there's an emergency?! Someone has to be sober.'
Masse, whose sons are ages 3, 5, and 7, tells she is on 'high alert,' at the park, the beach, the pool and in public restrooms.
'If one kid has to go, we're all going,' says Masse. "It's going to be a field trip.'
Masse has a playdate rule, too: Her kids can only visit a family's home if she has been there first. 'If I see anything that makes me uncomfortable, they are probably not going,' she adds.
'I'm a stay-at-home mom, so wherever I go, it's me against my three kids,' says Masse. 'I'm outnumbered.'
Masse says she is 'strict,' especially when watching other people's children.
'If I hover, it's fine, because you're getting your kid back,' she says. If kids are roughhousing, Masse tells them: 'I am not going to the hospital today. You need to stop.'
Masse says she respects parents who co-supervise — and who don't blink if their children hear her safety speech.
'Some parents get offended if someone else steps in, but it's necessary sometimes,' says Masse. 'I appreciate it too, because sometimes my kids don't listen to me.'
This article was originally published on
