5 days ago
21 People Are Sharing The Dumbest Things They've Been Told That "Real Men" Don't Do, And The Toxic Masculinity Is Palpable
Toxic masculinity negatively impacts EVERYONE, even and perhaps ESPECIALLY the men who become afraid to openly enjoy the things they like. That's why most of us realize that if a person says "Real men don't..." the rest of the sentence is going to be an outdated, misogynistic trope...
So when a Redditor recently asked, "What's the most stupid 'Real men don't' take you've ever heard?" Thousands of commenters shared the dumbest examples of things they've heard "real men" shouldn't do. Here are 21 of their most outrageous responses:
If you've ever heard a WILD take on something "real men" shouldn't do, feel free to tell us about it using this anonymous form!
1."I have a friend in her 60s. Her husband is the wildest, most extreme version of a 'man' I have ever met."
"Years ago, after she gave birth and brought their son home, her sister moved in to help out. She would make soups and salads for them for dinner.
He would refuse to eat it, claiming soup wasn't real food, and salad was the food his food ate. He would throw tantrums until his recovering wife would get up and make him steak and potatoes.
That is, until the sister decided to make 'Viking Soup.' She just made something up, but calling it 'Viking Soup' was the only way he would eat it."
—u/Unusual_Form3267
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2."Wearing sandals: When I worked in retail, I heard a child tell his mother how he just saw a man wearing sandals. The woman replied, 'Oh, honey, really, men don't wear sandals,' and looked at me like I'd agree with her."
"I gave her a shrug and said, 'Well, Jesus wore sandals.' She quickly paid for her stuff and left."
—u/sirjames82
3."An actual conversation I had (a long time ago) went like this: 'You can't go out to dinner with a male friend because people might think you are on a date. Now, three guys going out to eat is okay, but four guys, no way, because that could be a double date.'"
—u/ricottma
4."I worked at a brewery, and one time, a guy absolutely loved a beer he tried. He told me several times that night how much he liked it. When I told him we sold it in cans, he was so excited."
"When I grabbed the cans, his face dropped. He said, 'I can't drink that.' I looked at him, confused, and he pointed to the cans.
He elaborated, 'There are pink flowers on it, I'm not drinking that.'
This man deprived himself of something he absolutely loved because the label was a black background with neon flowers on it."
—u/FreeIDecay
5."My mom once told me that my clothes smell too good and women would think I'm gay because guys' clothes aren't supposed to smell clean."
—u/Chzburgers
6."A coworker told me, 'Real men don't eat bananas': I started eating even more bananas, carrots, and anything else phallic that I could get my hands on in front of this guy. I'd always ask him how he was doing in the middle of chomping down on them."
"I work in construction so he thought his bullying comment would get agreement from the rest of the crew but it ended up backfiring on him as everyone began assuming everything reminded him of a penis."
—u/poopybuttfacehead
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7."I was dating a woman for a little bit in college, everything was good, and I never noticed any red I saved enough money to buy a car. I was going to go to a dealership and buy a four-cylinder like a PT Cruiser or something with good gas mileage."
"This woman flipped out, started calling me anti-gay slurs, and said, 'Real men only drive trucks. You aren't a man if you drive a four-banger.' She totally meant what she said.
We eventually broke up, and a little while after that, she moved. She and her new boyfriend went to jail for ripping off a charter school."
—u/DocumentEnough2414
8."'Real men don't drink through straws!'"
—u/knitscones
"When I was a kid I went to church with a backwards family who had a problem with 'sissy sticks' (drinking straws).
They not only refused to use them, but also made sure to make a big deal out of it so everyone could know how manly they were. I still think about how dumb that sounded."
—u/partymouthmike
9."'Real men don't read and only learn what they need to at school.'"
"Cool, so being illiterate and having the education of a fifth grader is what manly men do? Learning about anything besides what is legally required in school is going to make you less of a man?
When you pick up a geography book, does your sperm count immediately start dropping?"
—u/2baverage
10."'Real men don't wipe their butts': There are an alarming number of men who don't wipe down there because they think 'it's gay.' I grieve for their poor partners stuck in these skidmark relationships."
—u/Chairboy
"I once met a guy at a party who said he'd never washed his ass with soap in the shower, only water, because washing down there was "gay".
Safe to say I kept my distance at the party and kept pretending I'd smelled something vile when I got near him. I hope he got the message."
—u/SleepyClassicist
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11."'Real men don't apologize.'"
"What the actual f*ck? I had a friend for years, and we once got into an argument while drunk and called each other names. When we sobered up, he demanded we fight and wouldn't apologize because 'real men don't apologize.'
I never spoke to him again; we went from really close friends to zero contact. It's been a decade now, and I still think about it."
—u/Assimve
12."I live with my husband and his older brother. We all carry lighters, and they steal mine all the time. I finally figured out that if I buy pink ones, they won't steal them. They won't even USE them."
"Because, apparently, 'REAL men won't use a pink lighter.'"
—u/CLHD420
13."A man once told me that I needed to come and watch his kid for our date. (Also, what a way to tell me you're an entitled prick in one sentence.) Apparently, he forgot he had his kid that night, so I was supposed to drop everything to babysit. We had been dating for three weeks, but DID NOT have a date scheduled for that night. He told me, 'Real men do not babysit their kids.'"
"Personally, I agree with him. Real men are FATHERS to their children, not avoidant babysitters. You created that kid; they're your responsibility. You're not babysitting, you're taking care of the child you brought into this world.
The fact that he was willing to dump his kid on someone he knew for three weeks told me all I needed to know about him. He confused 'real man' with someone who happens to have a penis and thinks that makes the rest of their BS okay. I was done with him soon after that."
—u/TangledUpPuppeteer
14."Once, I was using hand sanitizer before eating lunch after working outside all day. I offered a co-worker some, and he said, 'No, I'm good. I'm a real man.'"
"He said the same thing when I offered him a spot under my umbrella when it was raining really hard."
—u/The_Cars93
15."'Real men don't pee sitting down.'"
"The hell we don't. If I get up groggy in the middle of the night, and don't want to pee on the floor in the dark, I'm having a seat."
—u/No_Spring_1090
16."When I hear 'Real men don't drink fruity cocktails,' I'm like, 'Okay, buddy, drink your crappy cheap beer, and while you're at it make sure you deprive yourself of any other little joys in your life so everyone knows you're definitely a man.'"
"If someone is so worried about how others perceive them that they change what they eat, drink, and even how they dress to ensure everyone knows they're a man, they're not confident in themselves.'"
—u/Nova_Badger
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17."Real men don't cry".
"My significant other lost his childhood friend a few months ago. I can still see that six-foot-tall guy standing in the door, shaking with quivering lips and fighting back his tears because 'Men don't cry and have to be strong.'
I told him, 'Not for me, honey. You're my partner. You're allowed to be sad, disheartened, and to show weakness. I'll never think less of you because you grieve the loss of someone you loved.'"
—u/Life_Doubt4829
18."I'm a male teacher. In college, one of my male professors went on a tirade about male teachers who dressed up on school spirit days because 'real men don't wear costumes.'"
"We're doing it for the kids, not for us. It's supposed to be silly. It's a nice break for them to have some silliness. I'm not surprised he stopped teaching and went into higher education instead."
—u/Bienvillion
19."'Real men don't wear protection.' I'm a mechanical engineer. The number of people I've seen maimed and dead is large. Trust me, you don't look manly when we scrape you off a machine. You just look unskilled and dead."
—u/C03x
"This can also apply to the other kind of 'protection' that a lot of 'real men' who think 'raw' sex is better refuse to use."
—u/Strange_Dog6483
20."When I was a kid, I was told 'Real men don't use bandages.' Now I have a bad habit of not being careful with fresh wounds. It hasn't come back to bite me yet, but I have to be very conscious of cleaning them, or I will just not remember because it wasn't instilled in me from a young age."
—u/MathTutorAndCook
"Back when my friends and I were teenagers, I had a cut on my palm and kept telling them that I needed to find a pharmacy.
At one point, one of them told me not to be such a wimp, to which I replied, 'I'm not, it's just really uncomfortable.'"
—u/DouViction
21."The absolute dumbest 'Real men don't' I've heard is that 'Real men don't do housework/women's work' because it's 'unimportant.'"
"These same people would proceed to 'explain' that 'real men' are born to do big things, yet they didn't even know how to feed themselves, let alone do 'big things.' The fact that they had to rely on women to get anything done, even simple things, and then proceed to look down on them is the dumbest thing a man could ever do."
—u/tracyvu89
Did any of these examples surprise you? What is the dumbest thing you've ever been told "real men" don't do? Tell us in the comments or answer anonymously using the form below!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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