2 days ago
Psychologist Swears by This 1 Technique to Help Couples Bond After a Busy Day
When you get home after a long day in the office, one of the last things on your mind is probably having a long conversation with your partner about the ins and outs of the past several hours.
While it's important to find ways to connect with your partner throughout the week, it doesn't always need to be an in-depth conversation, lengthy date night or elaborate activity, experts say.
In fact, you can bond with each other while also getting to enjoy an activity that helps you relax, even if it's not their go-to. All you have to do is take a hint from child psychology, according to psychologist and relationship researcher Mark Travers, Ph.D.
Therapist Tip of the Day: Try out "Parallel Play" With Your Partner
Travers defines parallel play as "when two people engage in their preferred activity separately, but alongside each other," he wrote for CNBC's Make It.
"For couples, this might look like one partner reading on the couch, while the other plays their favorite video game next to them. They might not be engaging directly with one another, but they're still intentionally sharing space and de-stressing with an activity they each enjoy."
Why It Matters
Travers says he's learned from his research — and own relationship with his wife — that being intentional about the time you spend with your partner really matters in maintaining overall happiness together.
Parallel play "is basically a way of saying: 'I love you, but I also need to love me for an hour or two. Let's do it together,'" he explains.
Essentially, this technique allows you not to have to choose between "me time" and "we time," he adds.
How to Get Started
To apply parallel play to your relationship, you and your partner should each choose a favorite relaxing activity that can be done near each other, and be mindful of how you are actually decompressing together.
Some of Travers' other tips to help your relationship thrive when you're both busy and working include:
Spending time together without technology
Creating rituals in your relationship
Scheduling time for physical intimacy
Laughing together, on purpose
TODAY's Expert Tip of the Day series is all about simple strategies to make life a little easier. Every Monday through Friday, different qualified experts share their best advice on diet, fitness, heart health, mental wellness and more.
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