3 days ago
7 expert tips to become your child's safe space
Parenting is a journey of irreparable beauty and deep challenges. As soon as you are a parent, your life is changed forever — your heart is softened, your patience is deeper and your mind more attuned.
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You are no longer living for yourself; you are caring for a small soul, moulding a life and leading it with love, dedication and boundless care. Each smile, each tear, each minor achievement is a witness to the great responsibility and boundless joys of childrearing.
If you are looking for ways to become your child's 'safe space' while nurturing emotional security and attachment, John Bowlby's
Attachment Theory
teaches that children thrive when they perceive a caregiver as a 'secure base' — someone whom they trust to return to when exploring the world.
Bowlby asserted, 'When conditions were favourable an infant moves away from mother on exploratory excursions and returns to her again from time to time. This concept of secure base is crucial for understanding how an emotionally stable person develops.'
How strict parenting can impact children negatively
Studies show that the Circle of Security–Parenting (COS‑P) enhances caregiver sensitivity and reflective functioning, significantly strengthening attachment security. For example, one study (
Enhancing foster care relationships through attachment-based intervention: the safe families study protocol, a randomized controlled trial of the circle of security parenting program
published in
BMC Psychology
) found that COS‑P led to 'a significant reduction in insensitive maternal behaviours' and another documented improvements in reflective functioning among mothers.
Tips to connect with your child: Here are parenting rules that build unbreakable bonds (Image: TOI)
A deeper understanding of your child's inner world — termed reflective functioning — is central to becoming a consistent, emotionally supportive presence. Research paper
Parent-Child Attachment: A Principle-Based Concept Analysis
demonstrates that maternal sensitivity or accurately perceiving and responding to a child's signals, is strongly linked to secure attachment. It also emphasised that parents with high reflective capacity are more emotionally attuned, which supports healthier development.
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In an interview with TOI, Yukta Sharma, Parenting Enthusiast and New Mom Mentor, suggested the following foundational and actionable ways to become your child's safe -
Bond with your kids emotionally
Through emotional bonding, your child feels most secure in their mental health. When your child feels emotionally close to you, they trust you and are comfortable sharing anything with you.
Listen to your child
First of all, listen to your child without interrupting. Whatever they tell you is wrong or right, hear them out completely.
Don't lash out instantly—keep calm and empathetic. It is the key to being your child's best friend.
Provide peaceful environment at home
Every parent needs these powerful truths about raising emotionally secure kids (Image: iStock)
Provide a peaceful environment at home. Peace starts with a clear mind, so be cautious about what you do in front of your children. Talk nicely and softly to your spouse in front of them, because child often learn and copy what they see.
Have fun playing indoor and outdoor games together with your child
Not only does physical activity help to keep their minds healthy, but it brings you closer to them, forms happy memories.
Establish daily routines and rules
When children know what is going on every day, they are safe and secure. Stability keeps their stress away and anxiety at bay.
Encourage your child
Praise your child and encourage your child occasionally. A word of appreciation or a word of praise can boost their confidence, make them feel happy, and motivate them to do even better.
Do not compare your child to others
Comparing them or lecturing them for grades or other accomplishments makes them feel less than others. Comparing them can make an everlasting mark by deflating their confidence because what they learn as a kid stays with them for life.
These are some of the most important parenting behaviours that are also essential to the mental well-being of a child. You are a different you at every stage of your child's life hence, evolving to what you see is optimum for them. Ultimately, every parent wants to give their child the best — in feelings, love, values and learning.
