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Daily Mail
16-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
I'm a parenting expert, this is why I won't send my kids to birthday parties
A mother has come under fire revealing she often doesn't allow her children to go to birthday parties. Emily Oster, 45, who write books on parenting, appeared on the We Met At Acme podcast last month to discuss motherhood, and said she didn't allow her children, aged 10 and 14, to attend parties. The economist and author, from the US, is known for voicing her sometimes controversial opinions on motherhood said she'd rather prioritise 'family time'. Emily, who is also CEO for the ParentData blog, told the podcast, hosted by Lindsey Metselaar, that she wasn't 'categorically opposed' to parties, but that she would turn down invitations if they clashed with family plans. A video recording of the conversation shared to the podcast's social media channels racked up more than 234,000 views, with thousands of parents left seething by Emily's divisive remarks. Viewers accused her of being 'controlling' and making a 'bad parenting choice'. Explaining her view, she said: 'For our family, this idea of prioritising some time that the four of us can spend together that is family time, that's very central, and that's not everybody's thing, but that's our thing. And once we have that, it sort of rules out many other things.' 'It's not that I'm categorically opposed to the concept of a birthday party,' she clarified, adding that she would rather take the opportunity to spend time together as a family unit. Only if they weren't 'generally doing things as a family', would she allow her children the chance to attend the birthday celebrations of other 'If there were a Sunday afternoon birthday party, which is a time at which we don't generally do things as a family, I would be happy to let my kid go if they wanted,' 'But if the birthday party is Sunday morning, which is a time that we like to go hiking or do other stuff together, it's just no. 'It's just like we decided a thing that was important, and this other thing is less important because we said this first thing was the most important.' Viewers were less than impressed by Emily's comments, with many accusing her of 'excluding' her children and for making 'bad parenting choices'. One furious parent wrote: 'I'm a teacher. Kids talk about their birthday parties all week and after the weekend. You're excluding your child not just from the party, but from the whole experience around it. It's isolating.' A second said: 'Hate this but thanks for sharing your bad parenting choice.' Others pointed to the value of 'friendship' and 'community' in allowing their children to socialise at parties. Viewers were less than impressed by Emily's comments, with many accusing her of 'excluding' her children and for making 'bad parenting choices' 'But I want my kids to value friendship, community, showing up for people! And I have to teach them that by example. And parties are what, an hour? Two?,' another pointed out. Another insisted she had 'control issues' for refusing her to allow her brood to take part in birthday celebrations. After amassing a slew of negative backlash, Emily later told Good Morning America, where she told hosts that she hoped more people would listen to the podcast in it's entirety to full understand her position. 'If you just said, 'My family likes to spend time together on Sunday morning,' I don't think that's a very controversial statement,' she told the publication. 'My kids go to birthday parties. My kids spend time with other students [and] kids. We have play dates, etc. It is just about, in this particular example, a way in which a family might prioritise or think about their time.' The parenting expert said she and her husband have long held a commitment to 'family time', and that they enjoy a range of activities with their children, who are aged 10 and 14. Acknowledging that not everyone would agree with her take on the matter, she told the media outlet said she hoped parents could look decipher their own priorities according to their individual needs. 'The idea that we would like to spend some time together as a family, that is part of the core values that my husband and I share, and I think it's very similar to many other families,' she said. 'What I urge people is to think about what you want your weekends to look like … so then you can make the life that you love.'
06-05-2025
- Entertainment
Mom explains why she says 'no' to some kids' birthday parties
One mom is defending her recent take on RSVPing "no" to other children's birthday parties. In a late April appearance on the "We Met At Acme" podcast, "The Family Firm" author Emily Oster, an economics professor and mom of two, explained that she and her husband actively prioritize family time, adding that they sometimes say "no" to non-family activities, such as a kid's birthday party, if they're held at previously agreed upon times. "You have to decide for your family, what are the things that are important? And one way to do that is to think big picture, like, 'What are our values?' and so on, and another is just to be like, 'What do we want our days and weekends to look like?'" Oster explained in a podcast clip shared on TikTok, which has since picked up over 223,000 views. "If there were a Sunday afternoon birthday party, which is a time in which we don't generally do things as a family, I would be happy to let my kid go if they wanted. But if the birthday party is Sunday morning, which is a time that we like to go hiking or do other stuff together, it's just 'no,' and I think for me, that kind of simplicity is so important," Oster continued. Hundreds have weighed in on the TikTok post, which now has over 700 comments, with some parents agreeing with Oster's viewpoint and others strongly disagreeing. "I wasn't a no all the time but agree here, majority no's on bday parties. All of mine played very serious travel sports, time felt sacred, had to sacrifice somewhere & happy we did," one person commented. Other parents pointed out that the general rule of making collective time to spend as a family doesn't have to come at the expense of other values. "I have the opposite philosophy. If my kid gets invited, they will go. It's such an easy thing and you never know how your kid showing up will be important to the birthday kid," one TikTok user commented. "You can't hike on a Sunday afternoon instead of Sunday morning? Like yes family time but it doesn't have to be static," another person wrote. Oster, who is also the CEO of the online platform ParentData, told "Good Morning America" she hopes people listen to the podcast in full to better understand her position. "If you just said, 'My family likes to spend time together on Sunday morning,' I don't think that's a very controversial statement," Oster said, adding, "My kids go to birthday parties. My kids spend time with other students [and] kids. We have play dates, etc. It is just about, in this particular example, a way in which a family might prioritize or think about their time." She said she and her husband have kept their family time commitment with their two kids, who are now 10 and 14, "for a long time," and over the years, they've enjoyed doing a variety of activities together, from hiking and spending time outdoors to bowling. "The idea that we would like to spend some time together as a family, that is part of the core values that my husband and I share, and I think it's very similar to many other families," said Oster. Oster said she doesn't expect every parent or family to agree with her perspective but that she hopes fellow parents can take a closer look at the choices they're making for their families, and prioritize what's best for them. "It's really valuable to think about the choices that you make and that the choices that are right for you might not be the same choices that are right for everybody," she said. "What I urge people is to think about what you want your weekends to look like … so then you can make the life that you love."
Axios
24-04-2025
- Health
- Axios
30-somethings nudge U.S. birth rate off record low
With more people delaying parenthood thanks to increased access to reliable birth control and fertility treatments, older moms are having more babies. Why it matters: Although it's become more common, getting pregnant at " advanced maternal age" isn't always easy. By the numbers: The birth rate for teenagers and women in their early 20s dropped to record lows in 2024, as the birth rate for women over 30 rose, according to provisional CDC data released Wednesday. Women aged 30-34 had a higher birth rate (95.4 per 1,000 women) than those in their late 20s (91.4). Reality check: Although the number of overall births rose 1% from 2023 to 2024, that's an increase from the nation's lowest fertility rate in nearly a century. The big picture: Since the first IVF baby was born nearly 50 years ago, we've made big breakthroughs in understanding and treating infertility — and giving people options if they choose to delay parenthood. Egg freezing, in-vitro fertilization (IVF), intrauterine insemination (IUI) and even uterine transplants have become more common. Plus, we have a better understanding of how lifestyle affects fertility in both men and women. Today, many hopeful parents, especially those over 35, can have babies through medical advancements that seemed like science fiction a generation ago. "Fertility declines with age, but 35 is not a cliff by any stretch," Emily Oster, an economist and bestselling author of pregnancy and parenting books, tells Axios. "Plenty of people have kids in their late 30s, but it might take a little more work and you might want to be thoughtful about your timing," says Oster, who recently launched a "trying to conceive" (TTC) section on her ParentData website. Knowing about fertility barriers ahead of TTC could encourage hopeful older parents to address a medical issue and/or freeze eggs for IVF early on — giving them a better shot at pregnancy. Yes, but: Even with new fertility technology and planning ahead, infertility can't always be overcome. Tips to getting pregnant Here's what prospective older parents can do to learn whether they have fertility roadblocks — and get pregnant more easily when they're ready: Track their cycle. If women knew earlier whether they had a normal menstrual cycle, it could save them from finding out too late that they have a condition, such as endometriosis or PCOS, that can interfere with getting pregnant. And being educated on when they ovulate could prevent hopeful moms from reaching a point where "they're now 34½ and realize, 'Oh, I was having sex at the wrong time for the last five months, and now I've lost five months of good fertility," Oster says. Boost sperm health.
