Latest news with #ParentsOnAMission
Yahoo
21-07-2025
- General
- Yahoo
Is the Screen Time Debate Overlooking the Struggles of Working-Class Families?
Let's face it: there's a ton of judgment out there around screen time, kids, and parenting. Many people will see a kid glued to a screen and automatically assume their parents are lazy, negligent, or don't know how to discipline their kids. There's a lot wrong with these types of judgments, but one major issue is that screen time scenarios are often looked at completely out of context. When you see a kid with their face glued to a screen, you don't know what else they did that day, what they are doing on that screen, or anything else about their life or their family's. Another aspect of the conversation that isn't often acknowledged is the socioeconomic class of the child's family. Conversations around screen time tend to center middle- or to upper-class norms, values, and realities. 'Much of the mainstream conversation around kids and screens assumes an ideal, two engaged parents, flexible schedules, and plenty of disposable income for extracurriculars and babysitters,' says Richard Ramos, parenting expert and founder of Parents on a Mission. 'But for many working-class and lower-income families, this simply isn't reality.' The Reality for Working Class Families A 2019 survey from Common Sense Media found that kids from households earning less than $35k annually spent almost two hours more per day on screens than households earning more than $100K annually. Similarly, another study found a correlation between lower income status and increased use of nearly all types of screen time except video chatting. There are many reasons behind these findings, but a major one is that families with more money simply have more childcare options and can provide more structured, screen-free activities. 'Parents working double shifts, evenings, or gig jobs don't always have the option of 'just hire a sitter' or 'send them to camp,'' Ramos points out. The fact is, affordable childcare is hard to come by and extended family support isn't always available. 'So screens become, for many of us, a necessary stand-in to keep children occupied and safe while we provide for them,' he notes."Parents working double shifts, evenings, or gig jobs don't always have the option of 'just hire a sitter' or 'send them to camp.' So screens become, for many of us, a necessary stand-in to keep children occupied and safe while we provide for them." Richard RamosWhy More Screens Don't Mean More Time It goes without saying that wealthier families usually have the money to buy more devices for their kids. But studies have found that wealthier kids don't necessarily spend more time on these devices compared to kids from lower socioeconomic backgrounds. Again, it comes down to access to resources and privileges afforded to more middle- and upper class families. Consider how children from different socioeconomic backgrounds spend their unstructured time. 'Children in middle and upper-class families typically have highly structured summers, after-school hours, and weekends, often filled with numerous extracurriculars,' says Devorah Heitner, PhD, an expert on kids and digital media and author of Growing Up in Public. 'In contrast, working-class children who are too young to work themselves may have less structured time during summers and on weekends and spend more time on screens instead.' As Dr. Heitner points out, the popular practice of 'just let them go out and play' is flawed too, and can be more complicated for lower income families. 'The availability of safe outdoor activities is often tied to economic privilege,' she describes. 'Screens can fill these gaps where outdoor play is limited.' Finally, the idea of spending 'quality time' with your kids as an alternative to screen time is tied to wealth and privilege. 'Piano lessons, museum trips, family hikes—these require time, money, transportation, and energy,' Ramos notes. 'In other words, quality time is the true luxury, not just cutting back on screens.' Parental Shaming Around Screens The realities faced by working-class families are often invisible to others, but that doesn't stop people from passing harsh judgements on these families' screen time habits. 'We know from research that when people consider disparities (like screen time measures) without structural context, they tend to blame or stigmatize the groups who are experiencing inequities,' says Erin Walsh, a parent, speaker, and author of It's Their World: Teens, Screens, and the Science of Adolescence. 'In the case of screen time, this includes the idea that children from lower-income households must have more screen time because their parents don't 'understand' the harms or lack good parenting practices.' As such, Walsh notes, in order to understand screen time and class, we have to consider the inequities built into our society—including uneven resource distribution for high quality childcare, afterschool programs, public parks, and play places—and how screen ends up filling in some of these gaps for families. Dr. Heitner agrees it's crucial to recognize the moral undertones surrounding screen time conversations. 'Parenting choices are often judged harshly in public, and social stigma, online discourse, and cultural bias are significant factors here, particularly as screen use is judged differently based on class,' she says. The solution can't simply be telling parents that their children need to get off screens and engage in more movement, outdoor play, or reading. These words are empty if society doesn't provide children with more opportunities like bookmobiles, free library playgrounds, or accessible and safe playgrounds, Dr. Heitner notes. Walsh adds that these issues won't be solved without more equitable access to childcare for working-class families. Rethinking 'Healthy' Screen Time Dr. Heitner recommends reframing the idea of "healthy' screen time from "how many hours per day" to "what kind of apps, experiences, and connections are useful and developmentally appropriate," and "what support systems exist." 'Our goal should be to ensure children have access to technology that supports their learning, connection with friends, and fun, while also preventing excessive use that disrupts sleep or physical activity,' says Dr. Heitner. 'We need to help families find this balance in a supportive way, acknowledging the challenges all parents face—whether in two-parent or single-parent households, whether you're working a lot or a little, or have access to paid childcare versus relying on family members.'"Our goal should be to ensure children have access to technology that supports their learning, connection with friends, and fun, while also preventing excessive use that disrupts sleep or physical activity. We need to help families find this balance in a supportive way, acknowledging the challenges all parents face—whether in two-parent or single-parent households, whether you're working a lot or a little, or have access to paid childcare versus relying on family members." Devorah Heitner, PhDRichard Culatta, CEO of the non-profits ISTE+ASCD, father, and the author of Digital for Good: Raising Kids to Thrive in an Online World, says that technology is a lifesaver in his family, and he uses it for when he needs to get household tasks done or attend meetings from home. But he stresses that in his family, not all screen time is created equal. 'If children are going to participate in digital activities there must first be good digital norms established,' Culatta says. 'What a child is doing with technology is far more important than how long they are using it for.' Here are Culatta's tips for creating a healthier digital culture in your home: Set up parental controls on devices to trigger a conversation before new apps are installed. Turn off autoplay on all video apps. This gives kids control over what they watch rather than leaving it up to the algorithm. Disable non-essential app alerts so kids aren't constantly nudged towards one app or another. Talk to your kids about value and help them identify which digital activities are enriching. For example, talk about choosing educational apps and videos, and help your child find ones that align with their interests. Join them during screen time and turn digital time into shared experiences by watching or playing together. Read the original article on Parents Solve the daily Crossword
The Star
18-07-2025
- Business
- The Star
New dynamics: How to get along when college grads move back home
A shaky student debt. Few job prospects. Some recent college graduates have a burdensome mountain of reasons to move back home. For others, the choice may be easy as they seek to save money, or desire the physical and emotional comforts of family. But the familiar may feel different with the changing dynamics that come with growing up. One thing is certain: If you're a new grad or the parents of one, you're not alone in navigating new terrain. Maturity and respect among all parties is a good place to start before those packing boxes arrive. So is having a clear path forward. Consider these tips for making it all work. Richard Ramos, a parenting trainer and author of Parents On A Mission, urges parents and their young adult children to break from their traditional roles. For parents, shift from authority to ally. 'You're no longer parenting a teenager. You're relating to an emerging adult. Move from 'manager' to 'mentor'. Offer guidance, not control. Maintain your home as a launchpad, not a landing strip for them to get too comfortable in,' he says. Grads, come home with humility. 'You may have a degree, but you're still under your parents' roof,' Ramos says. 'Show appreciation. Contribute to the household. Asking before assuming you can simply take shows your growth as a young adult. Honour the space they've made for you.' As a counsellor and parent, Veronica Lichtenstein knows firsthand what Ramos means. Her 26-year-old son has been living at home for two years since graduation to save money for his first house. 'I've learned that clear, collaborative boundaries are the foundation of harmony,' she says. Lichtenstein has lots of practical advice, starting with a 'living contract' created cooperatively. 'His proposed terms became the starting point for negotiation. This empowered him to take ownership while ensuring mutual respect. The final signed agreement covered everything from chores to quiet hours,' she says. A shaky economy and the desire to save money, among others, have seen graduates returning to their family Freepik Set simple rules Common areas must be left clean, for example, and advance notice is required if he plans group gatherings. 'Emphasise that this is a temporary, goal-oriented arrangement,' Lichtenstein says. By that, she means: 'We're happy to support you for 12 months while you save X dollars.' Regular check-ins keep everyone accountable. Amy McCready is the founder of and author of The Me, Me, Me Epidemic – A Step-By-Step Guide To Raising Capable, Grateful Kids In An Over-Entitled World. She suggests setting expectations when it comes to shared resources. 'If they'll be driving your vehicle, be clear about when it's available, who pays for gas or maintenance, and what responsibilities go with the privilege,' McCready says. 'Use 'when-then' phrasing to keep things respectful and direct: When your responsibilities are done, then the car is available.' If conflict arises, it's often because everyone reverts to old roles, she says. 'Pause and ask, 'Are we interacting like we did when they were 17?'' Then reset with intention. Parents need to decide if visits for resident adult children are something they're comfortable with. Such overnight visits with romantic partners can be tricky, McCready notes. 'If overnight visits aren't something you're OK with, it's completely appropriate to set that boundary,' she says. 'You might say, 'We're so glad you're here, and we want everyone to feel comfortable. For us, that means no overnight guests while you're living at home.'' Parents can ask to be told ahead of time if their grad plans to sleep elsewhere. Always check in Eric Wood, director of the Counseling & Mental Health Center at Texas Christian University, says parents should check in on their frustrations over the new living scenario. Their graduate might feel embarrassed and worry that they're a burden. 'Don't judge, especially with the current job market and recent global events. It's important not to be critical of a graduate who must return home,' he says. 'Just like we advise incoming college students not to rush into a certain academic major, it's more important not to rush into an entry career position. Establishing a solid trajectory for a successful and happy career is the priority.' Wood said the new mantra for parents should be: Support, but don't problem solve when it comes to fully launching a grad. 'It's important for the parent or family member not to act as if they are trying to solve a problem,' he says. 'Doing so will only send a message that the graduate is a problem and could lead to conflicts.' – AP
The Independent
12-06-2025
- General
- The Independent
How to get along when college grads move back home with parents
A shaky economy. Overwhelming student debt. Few job prospects. Some recent college graduates have a burdensome mountain of reasons to move back home. For others, the choice may be easy as they seek to save money, or desire the physical and emotional comforts of family. But the familiar may feel different with the changing dynamics that come with growing up. One thing is certain: If you're a new grad or the parents of one, you're not alone in navigating new terrain. Maturity and respect among all parties is a good place to start before those packing boxes arrive. So is having a clear path forward. Consider these tips for making it all work. Set clear expectations early Richard Ramos, a parenting trainer and author of 'Parents on a Mission,' urges parents and their young adult children to break from their traditional roles. For parents, shift from authority to ally. 'You're no longer parenting a teenager. You're relating to an emerging adult. Move from 'manager' to 'mentor.' Offer guidance, not control. Maintain your home as a launchpad, not a landing strip for them to get too comfortable in,' he says. Grads, come home with humility. 'You may have a degree, but you're still under your parents' roof,' Ramos says. 'Show appreciation. Contribute to the household. Asking before assuming you can simply take shows your growth as a young adult. Honor the space they've made for you.' Drill down to specifics As a counselor and parent, Veronica Lichtenstein knows firsthand what Ramos means. Her 26-year-old son has been living at home for two years since graduation to save money for his first house. 'I've learned that clear, collaborative boundaries are the foundation of harmony,' she says. Lichtenstein has lots of practical advice, starting with a 'living contract' created cooperatively. 'His proposed terms became the starting point for negotiation. This empowered him to take ownership while ensuring mutual respect. The final signed agreement covered everything from chores to quiet hours,' she says. Common areas must be left clean, for example, and advance notice is required if he plans group gatherings. 'Emphasize that this is a temporary, goal-oriented arrangement,' Lichtenstein says. By that, she means: 'We're happy to support you for 12 months while you save X dollars.' Regular check-ins keep everyone accountable. Crystalize chores and shared resources Amy McCready is the founder of and author of 'The Me, Me, Me Epidemic — A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World.' She suggests setting expectations when it comes to shared resources. 'If they'll be driving your vehicle, be clear about when it's available, who pays for gas or maintenance, and what responsibilities go with the privilege,' McCready says. 'Use 'when-then' phrasing to keep things respectful and direct: When your responsibilities are done, then the car is available.' If conflict arises, it's often because everyone reverts to old roles and old rules, she says. 'Pause and ask, 'Are we interacting like we did when they were 17?'' Then reset with intention. What about special guests? Parents need to decide if conjugal visits for resident adult children are something they're comfortable with. Such overnight visits with romantic partners can be tricky, McCready notes. 'If overnight visits aren't something you're OK with, it's completely appropriate to set that boundary,' she says. 'You might say, 'We're so glad you're here, and we want everyone to feel comfortable. For us, that means no overnight guests while you're living at home.'' Parents can ask to be told ahead of time if their grad plans to sleep elsewhere. Parents, be careful not to judge Eric Wood, director of the Counseling & Mental Health Center at Texas Christian University, says parents should check in on their frustrations over the new living scenario. Their graduate might feel embarrassed and worry that they're a burden. 'Don't judge, especially with the current job market and recent global events. It's important not to be critical of a graduate who must return home,' he says. 'Just like we advise incoming college students not to rush into a certain academic major, it's more important not to rush into an entry career position. Establishing a solid trajectory for a successful and happy career is the priority.' Wood said the new mantra for parents should be: Support, but don't problem solve when it comes to fully launching a grad. 'It's important for the parent or family member not to act as if they are trying to solve a problem,' he says. 'Doing so will only send a message that the graduate is a problem and could lead to conflicts.'
