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Metro
14-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Metro
The conversations after sex are the most intimate part of one-night stands
You lock eyes with a stranger across the bar. After a few drinks or a bit of flirting, you end up going home with them and, inevitably, having sex. So much talk is given to hook-up culture, but not much is said about the interactions that come afterwards. You might enjoy a bit of banter, attempt small talk about the news, or even make a bacon sandwich together. Or equally, they might confess something to you they'd only reveal to a stranger. A secret, or a snippet of insight into their life. In many ways, it's easier to open up to an outsider – it holds less emotional weight. This idea is one of many explored in Conversations After Sex, which is currently showing at the Park Theatre in North London. Centred around one woman and her encounters with one-night stands and casual flings, the play explores the 'magic and loneliness' of sex with strangers. Written by Mark O'Halloran, the work was acquired by Olivia Lindsay's Ye You Productions – and Olivia also plays the female lead, simply known as 'She.' We never find out what her name is, nor those of the men she sleeps with – and this perhaps feels intentional. What's the point in knowing someone by name if you might never see them again? As Olivia tells Metro, it's 'easier to open up to a stranger sometimes' – and what we see is 'two people who don't really know each other, but they're able to give themselves in these post-coital, immediate situations.' Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom? Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us! For She, casual sex leads to her revealing she lost her ex-boyfriend to suicide, inherited her home from her father after he died, and she's not sure whether she really wants kids. In return, her hook-ups open up about their past relationships and sick relatives – a kind of candid honesty you're not always afforded in other more long-standing relationships – and this translates off the stage, too. The conversations in the play were inspired by real-life experiences of the playwright and friends. 'It's so much easier to unload to someone who you don't know, because there's no repercussion and there's no judgement,' Olivia explains. 'You're in a vulnerable and intimate situation, but you're also able just to be honest and present with that person. I think a lot of people will recognise that in their own lives, whether that's with a one-night stand, or [meeting] someone in the bathroom, at a bar or on the Tube…you're able to offload.' For Olivia, part of the joy of casual sex is how 'funny and sexy' one-night stands can be – and that magic is often exacerbated by the fact that it's only destined to be a fleeting encounter. 'I think it can be really freeing, powerful and sexy. You don't know this person, like you're kind of figuring them out in the few hours you have together,' she shares. 'You don't have to see them again, so you can enjoy it for what it is, and utilise each other in a way that's really powerful.' Interestingly, some couples in long-term, committed relationships fail to have such deep conversations after sex. It's all too easy to get 'caught up in routines' like the 'morning rush' or simply dozing off, says Lovehoney's sex and relationship expert Annabelle Knight. And there's something about a clean slate that encourages vulnerability – even if neither party is looking for anything serious. 'Stripping that layer of expectation away with casual sex can feel liberating – like meeting a stranger who you can be raw and candid with without obsessing over the repercussions of your words,' Annabelle shares. 'It's important to be empathetic and attentive to each other's feelings, but unlike sex with a partner, you're not entirely responsible for how this is carried forward. Conversations after sex are also a form of aftercare – an 'integral part' of intimacy, according to Annabelle. They provide a crucial opportunity to 'check in with each other's moods and feelings'. Chatting, cuddling or taking a shower together release oxytocin, also known as the 'bonding hormone,' which can 'reduce stress and increase feelings of trust and affection.' 'While we don't necessarily need to build intimate connections to partake in casual sex, some people definitely need this intimacy for the sex to be enjoyable,' she adds. 'It really boils down to both parties having that space to express their boundaries, expectations, and needs, so both can feel comfortable and fulfilled in these relationships.' One-night stands can sometimes act as a mirror, where you end up learning something about yourself. Through the interactions She has with various partners, we see her taking on board a new life lesson – whether she's sharing a secret or making conclusions about the way she reacts to other people's. In Annabelle's view, casual sex can also allow us to 'experiment with fantasies' where 'dynamics have not yet been established. 'As long as it is completely consensual and boundaries are in place, casual sex can be a great environment for exploration and learning. You can often experiment with what turns you on in a non-pressure environment, without too many expectations or even responsibilities to be in alignment with your partner's needs,' she explains A 2025 study from The Times found that the younger generations are actually having less casual sex than their predecessors. In 2004, a similar survey concluded that 78% of people aged between 18 and 30 said that amongst their friends, one-night stands were common, while in 2014, statistics showed that 49% said they'd experienced one, with 20% sleeping with someone without knowing their name. In 2024, 23% of 18 to 27-year-olds said that one-night stands were happening amongst their friendship group – a decline of 55%. It's not just sex with strangers that can build you as a person – even just talking to someone new in a casual way, perhaps going on a few dates or exchanging messages on a dating app, can help you to decipher what you do and don't want in a partner. 'You're having new conversations. What are your interests? What stimulates you intellectually and emotionally?' Olivia adds. 'Dating, especially meeting new people, is so imperative to finding the right person – if you want to end up with one person.' In short – no. One-night stands don't always have to involve a life-altering lesson, or an interaction with a stranger that went beyond surface-level. More Trending Sometimes, sex is just sex – and if it's casual, it's casual for a reason – as not everyone wants to extract meaning, or indeed a relationship, out of their hook-ups. 'People have varying boundaries, needs, and expectations for casual sex, and it's essential to lay these out beforehand to avoid those feelings of rejection or dissatisfaction,' Annabelle believes. 'These open and honest conversations are a great form of intimacy. Many people forget that intimacy transcends touch, and is in the way we interact emotionally, too.' View More » Conversations After Sex is showing at the Park Theatre in Finsbury Park until Saturday, May 17. Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ MORE: The four real reasons there are so many virgins in 2025 MORE: The one big difference in how men and women like sex to be initiated MORE: Channel 4's Virgin Island could have been sensitive – I found it exploitative
Winnipeg Free Press
29-04-2025
- Entertainment
- Winnipeg Free Press
Inside out
In April 2020, Julie Nolke caught her big break. The Canadian comedian/actor/writer debuted a new series on the sketch comedy channel she runs with her husband on YouTube: Explaining the Pandemic to My Past Self, wherein a pandemic-present Julie tells a pre-pandemic Julie what's in store for her. The first video has 21 million views and counting. Five years on, Nolke has firmly established herself as one of Canada's brightest comedic voices for her ability to tap into the zeitgeist — and now, she's doing something new: Dying on the Outside, a live, one-hour, one-woman sketch-comedy show she's bringing to the Park Theatre on Wednesday. 'It's a departure from what I've done for the last, I don't know, 10 years,' Nolke says over the phone from Toronto. Last year, Nolke was feeling disconnected from her audience — which, when you're creating comedy online, is mostly measured in anonymous numbers. 'I really just wanted to see and meet the people behind those views,' she says. After three months of writing, Nolke tapped fellow comedian/actor/writer Gwynne Phillips to direct the show, which had a sold-out run in Toronto in March. Nolke's not the only viral Canadian comedian who has recently brought her work from screen to stage. Fellow Toronto comedian Laura Ramoso, who was in Winnipeg in November on her Sit Up Straight tour, has also followed a similar career trajectory. 'You know what's funny — Laura was the first person I called when I realized I wanted to do a live show,' Nolke says with a laugh. 'I called her and I said, 'We have to meet for coffee because I want to do this thing, and you are an expert in it.' 'We had a really nice, long chat, and she gave me a lot of guidance, and has been giving me guidance through this whole thing. She's an incredible community member and wonderful friend.' Without revealing too much, Dying on the Outside deals with, among other topics, death and processing death as the title suggests. The north star of all of Nolke's comedy is relatability. 'The hope is that if I've gone through something and I create a piece of content, as long as I keep it authentic, the hope is that it's going to be relatable,' she says. Nolke grew up in Calgary, where she did a ton of improv and theatre and, after high school, moved to Toronto to complete an acting degree at York University. Dying on the Outside is a welcome return to live performance. 'Of course, it's been 10 years since I've been back (onstage), so I was a little bit rusty, and I definitely had some imposter syndrome, but once I started performing, it felt very natural. And to be honest, that surge of adrenaline you get from the audience is exactly what I was looking for. It feels like a very special, once-in-a-lifetime experience that only live theatre can offer,' she says. It also allows her to exercise different creative muscles. Julie Nolke brings Dying on the Outside, her new sketch comedy show, to the Park Theatre on Wednesday. 'There's something really brave about doing something in person, live. There's that opportunity for failure that I think I need. I need that fire under my butt so I keep changing my content and making sure the audience is relating to it.' Nolke's success has not been overnight. She started her YouTube channel with her husband Samuel Larson in 2014 after years of struggling as an actor. It steadily grew enough they were able to quit their day jobs in 2016 before Explaining the Pandemic to My Past Self took it to a whole new level. 'I think we just had an excellent temperature check on where people were at in the world. Our comedy just seemed to hit in exactly the way that people needed, and so those videos took off, but I am an avid believer that if it wasn't going to be those, it was going to be some other video, just because we had worked so hard and we'd gotten really good at YouTube,' Nolke says. There was a cultural shift taking place at that time, too. YouTubers and online creators were finally being recognized as legitimate artists. 'I have felt that shift in a huge way. I mean, I was on a show called Run the Burbs — we had three seasons on CBC — and the reason I was invited into that original development writers room before the show was ever greenlit is because the production company knew me from YouTube. That would not have been the case five years previous,' Nolke says. During Elections Get campaign news, insight, analysis and commentary delivered to your inbox during Canada's 2025 election. Now, Nolke has multiple screen credits to her name, including Murdoch Mysteries, What We Do in the Shadows, Coroner, Odd Squad and Workin' Moms. In 2023, she also had a starring role in the W Network movie The Wedding Rule. After years of grinding it out and putting in the work, Nolke has been nominated for two 2025 Canadian Screen Awards for her work on Run the Burbs. The winners will be fêted in Toronto at the end of May. The performer calls the nominations,'really surreal. Like, very, very out-of-body experience. I think there's a part of me that still feels a little bit impostery in film and TV — like, when are people going to realize I'm just a YouTuber? I try to mute that voice as much as possible but the reality is, it exists.' 'And so, the awards bring me a huge sense of validity. Like my peers, my own peers, the people that I deeply respect in the industry, recognize that I'm more than just an online creator who couldn't book a job the regular way. It doesn't go by me mildly.' Jen ZorattiColumnist Jen Zoratti is a columnist and feature writer working in the Arts & Life department, as well as the author of the weekly newsletter NEXT. A National Newspaper Award finalist for arts and entertainment writing, Jen is a graduate of the Creative Communications program at RRC Polytech and was a music writer before joining the Free Press in 2013. Read more about Jen. Every piece of reporting Jen produces is reviewed by an editing team before it is posted online or published in print – part of the Free Press's tradition, since 1872, of producing reliable independent journalism. Read more about Free Press's history and mandate, and learn how our newsroom operates. Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Times
23-04-2025
- Entertainment
- Times
How to Fight Loneliness review — a moral thriller about mercy killing
For more than three decades the American writer-director Neil LaBute has maintained a reputation as an arch-provocateur. Often branded as a misogynist and misanthrope for plays and films that have focused on liars, lovers and manipulators, his subject matter has ranged from toxic masculinity to terrorism. In 2023 the Park Theatre in London scored a hit with a slickly assured revival of LaBute's The Shape of Things. His work is now back at the north London venue with the UK premiere of How to Fight Loneliness, a three-hander on the hot-button topic of assisted dying. On the surface LaBute's premise is fairly straightforward. We are in the suburban home of an anxiously conflicted couple facing an awful dilemma. Jodie (Justina Kehinde) has terminal
