Latest news with #PatBathurst
Newsweek
23-05-2025
- Health
- Newsweek
Woman Backed for Not Telling Ex-Husband About 'Life Changing' Illness
Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources. Newsweek AI is in beta. Translations may contain inaccuracies—please refer to the original content. A woman has been backed online about her decision to keep a "life changing" health diagnosis from her ex-husband. It's important, where possible, for parents who are divorced to find a way to cooperate for the sake of their children. In a survey last year of 1,000 recently divorced parents, conducted by the co-parenting app Custody X Change, 84 percent of parents who reported getting along well with their ex-spouse said their children adjusted well. By contrast, just 55 percent of parents who didn't get along with their ex said their children had adjusted well to the change. For one woman posting to Reddit this week under the handle u/Admirable_Sky_9132, relations with her ex-husband had been "amicable" in recent times, despite the circumstances that led to their divorce. "I was married to my ex husband for 16 years before he had an affair with a coworker and decided to move out and be with her," she wrote. "We have 2 kids who are now 18 and 20. After several initial weeks of dealing with my feelings, I have since been amicable to both he and his girlfriend. I put my feelings aside for the sake of my kids." Recently, the woman was diagnosed with what she described as a "life changing illness." "I was just diagnosed with epilepsy," she wrote on Reddit. "I started anti seizure medication and crossing my fingers it will mean I am in the overwhelming majority who never have another seizure." According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), epilepsy is a brain disorder that causes repeated seizures. In 2021, approximately 2.9 million U.S. adults have the disorder. The woman thought little of telling her ex-husband about the situation. So, she was surprised to receive a call from him after their 18-year-old son told him about her diagnosis in which he yelled at her, saying he had "a right to know as the father of our children." Despite her desire to keep things on friendly terms, the woman disagreed. "While it is not a big secret and I don't care that he knows I don't believe he had a right to know anymore," she wrote. "Our kids are both adults and 'mostly' self-sufficient and more than likely I will be fine." Newsweek reached out to u/Admirable_Sky_9132 for comment and was unable to verify the details of the case. Though the woman felt her ex-husband's reaction was uncalled for, Pat Bathurst, a licensed marriage and family therapist at The Oasis Rehab in California, felt the situation was more complicated than that. "In a case like this, the core question is what is most helpful and most respectful for the functioning of the family system. It isn't about what's owed, especially when children are involved," Bathurst told Newsweek. She added: "There may not be a legal obligation to disclose personal health information after a marriage has ended. However, this information is important for both parties to have especially if it could significantly impact the kids, even if they are adults. The healthiest way forward in this situation is through an open dialogue rather than blame." File photo of a brain scan for an epilepsy patient. File photo of a brain scan for an epilepsy patient. sudok1/Getty Reddit Users React Though Bathurst saw both sides of the argument, Reddit users disagreed, with the vast majority siding firmly with the woman. One user wrote: "It might be different if you had minor children (i.e. you might need to take custody in an emergency). But with adult children he has no right to any of your medical info." Another user commented: "He lost his 'right to know' when he started banging his coworker. It's none of his business. Has he shared with u how his prostate exam went?" A third posted: "Just the fact that he was yelling at you and making your diagnosis all about himself says everything you need to know." And a fourth responded: "He called you yelling?? And you didn't immediately hang up the phone? You're a nicer person than I am. You owe him nothing. No explanations about anything. What gives him the right to even think he can yell at you? What a tool."
Vogue
18-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Vogue
How Long Does the Honeymoon Phase Last?
There's nothing like the beginning of a relationship. You feel high, gushy, energized, alive. You think about the other person all the time: They're perfect! They're adorable! They're hilarious! And, best of all, so are you in their eyes. Cue the champagne, roses, and the chirping birds: The world is suddenly a real-life rom-com. Unfortunately, that blissful early stage of a relationship—also known as the 'honeymoon' phase—never seems to last. But why? And is there anything that can be done to keep the magic alive? Here, relationship experts share everything there is to know about the honeymoon phase—from what it is to what happens after it's passed. What is the honeymoon phase? Simply put, the honeymoon phase is the earliest stage of a relationship. 'In this stage, everything feels deeply romantic, exciting, and effortless,' explains licensed marriage and family therapist Pat Bathurst. 'Both people may be deeply fascinated with each other and physical attraction is very high.' This phase, which is also sometimes called limerence, is not just dreamy and euphoric—it's biological. When we fall in love, a feel-good cocktail of oxytocin, norepinephrine, and dopamine floods our brains, lighting up the same neural pathways that are stimulated by cocaine—literally. This natural intoxication is 'an evolutionary function to move us towards others,' explains licensed professional counselor Jennifer Melancon. 'As social mammals, bonding, trust, and connectedness are key for survival.' Cool, right? However, there is one not-so-charming potential side effect of all this animal magnetism: The rose-colored glasses of the honeymoon phase can blind us to what else might be going on. 'Partners might not notice dysfunctional patterns in the relationship,' says couples therapist Sara Miller. For example, we could overlook the early signs of toxic communication habits like stonewalling, or fail to notice that our new paramour flirts with everyone in sight. 'Everything their partner does during the initial honeymoon phase can be seen as all good—and it may be hard to identify red flags for the future,' Miller says. How long is the honeymoon phase? While there's no hard-and-fast rule, experts say the honeymoon phase can last anywhere from a few weeks to a couple of years. However, 'from a neurophysiological perspective, the honeymoon phase typically lasts approximately six months, when the ventral vagal system is at its highest level of activation—meaning our 'feel good' neurochemicals and hormones are at their highest levels,' explains Melancon.
