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Spectator
3 days ago
- General
- Spectator
Down with exclamation marks!
Punctuation is a gendered thing. I've been trying to stop myself overusing exclamation marks and it's been difficult. Exclamation marks are girly because they're a way of taking the sting out of what you say; they make any pronouncement seem more tentative, less serious. They're the equivalent of a disarming smile, the marker that says: 'No offence!' You add them at the end of a sentence to prevent anyone thinking that you're being bossy or critical. They're an economical form of non-confrontation. Women use them far more than men. Almost 20 years ago, a study in Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication found that women used nearly three-quarters of the exclamation marks in electronic messages, but it identified the tic as 'markers of friendly interaction'. As far as I can work out, nothing has changed since. Reviewing, gloomily, my own record of 'Hope that helps!' or 'Yes please!' I find this is less to do with enthusiasm than with a desire to please, or at least a desire not to seem pushy. I've just sent someone a message saying, 'Get ahead of the herd' (I meant, 'Just get on with it') and I've had to stop myself putting in an exclamation mark to take the sting out of being bossy. Now he probably does think I'm bossy. Then I ask myself whether the silverback males I know use punctuation the same way, and the answer is nope. My rule from now on is, if Sir Paul Dacre wouldn't use it, I shouldn't either. Kisses, or Xs, serve something of the same purpose, with the difference that women mostly use them with other women. Xs are another marker of non-aggression. They say: friend, I come in peace, even though I may be complaining or telling you what to do. It's a bit like how younger people use the Australian uplift at the end of sentences, turning every statement into a question. It's a way of avoiding seeming dogmatic or assertive, but that's generational rather than gendered. One friend has beaten me to austere punctuation. 'Nowadays when I write to men,' she says, 'I am brief, unapologetic and focused on the message. This is a recent thing. I realised that for as long as I have been writing to other people, I had thought I needed to charm them. I thought this was what everyone wanted. They don't, particularly men.' She's now binary in her communications: entirely dispassionate or psychotically overnuanced. There is a place for charm in written social intercourse in which punctuation plays a role, but part of the problem of contemporary interaction is that our categories are now blurred. We write to our bank manager (if we've got one) with the same easy informality as to a close friend. We've gone from 'Dear Madam' to 'Hi Melanie' (a very tetchy message to me from the press office of the Metropolitan Police began that way), and we sign off with 'Cheers' in both contexts, which means we use with colleagues or superiors the same sort of formula we'd use socially. It's the democratisation of communication, and it's confusing. Perhaps we should stop being ingratiating – exclamation marks and kisses are just that – and go for plainness if that's what's needed. The words 'please' and 'thank you' work well, though again, it's all about nuance. As for the other trick to ensure you don't sound dogmatic, ellipses, I wonder if they're gendered too. These are deep waters…
Times
14-07-2025
- Times
Michael Toner obituary: Journalist who wrote famous ‘Murderers' leader
Reflecting on the grudging respect he earned as chief leader writer of the Daily Mail under the exacting editorship of Paul Dacre, Michael Toner remarked with gratitude, 'He never called me a c***'. The veteran political journalist had only intended to cover a period between permanent appointments in the post described by Private Eye as the 'toughest on Fleet Street'. In the event he would stay for a decade until 2006 and write one of the most famous, risky, and some would say notorious, of all newspaper leaders on February 14, 1997. Strong evidence connected five young men with the unprovoked racist murder of the black British teenager Stephen Lawrence as he was waiting for a bus in Eltham, southeast London, on April 22, 1993. The five were arrested and two (Neil Acourt and Luke Wright) charged. In July 1993 the Crown Prosecution Service dropped the charges, citing the unreliability of the chief witness. At an inquest into Lawrence's death in February 1997, the suspects refused to give alibis or answer questions, claiming privilege against self-incrimination.
Evening Standard
08-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Evening Standard
Graydon Carter's guide to London: Maison François, Anderson & Sheppard and collecting canoes
Sign up for the best picks from our travel, fashion and lifestyle writers. Sign up I would like to be emailed about offers, event and updates from Evening Standard. Read our privacy notice. Graydon Carter, whose new book is out now, has never owned a flat in London; these are his favourite spots when he visits from New York. Home is … Greenwich Village. I've lived in New York for almost half a century. Our current apartment is about 200 feet from my first apartment. I know, a distinct lack of imagination. Where do you stay in London? We used to love the Draycott, just off Sloane Square. No spa or proper dining room. And the bathroom showers were tortuous. But it was charming, filled with books, and the rooms had gas fireplaces. Nina Campbell had done the interiors. It was sold recently and went through a renovation that stripped it of all its charm. Where was your first flat in the city? I've never owned a London flat — my loss. I was fired from the Evening Standard by fax by the editor Paul Dacre. I couldn't really blame him Graydon Carter What was your first job in London? I did a column for this paper once. It was about the goings on in New York. I was fired by fax by the editor Paul Dacre. I couldn't really blame him. The column wasn't particularly good. Where would you recommend for a first date? A walk along the Embankment. It's peaceful and you get a sense of the vast history of the city as well as the bustling newness of it. Which shops would you visit to buy presents? I do believe that the Anderson & Sheppard haberdashery shop is about as perfect as perfect gets. I also love Anya Hindmarch's little village of shops in Chelsea. My wife and I love to split a pasta starter and then a branzino The best London meal you've had? At the River Café, with my wife, our youngest son Spike and his wife Pip, and two dear friends, Lucy and Mark Cornell. My wife and I love to split a pasta starter and then a branzino. The River Cafe in Hammersmith Courtesy What would you do if you were Mayor for the day? Allow smoking in restaurants. Outlaw any car worth more than £100,000. Switch driving lanes to the right side. Force the owners of the Draycott to restore the hotel to its former self. Who is the most iconic Londoner? Gussie Fink-Nottle from the Jeeves novels. Or Admiral Nelson. Maybe Tony Hancock. Richard Garnett as Augustus 'Gussie' Fink-Nottle and Hugh Laurie as Bertie Wooster in the 1990 'Jeeves and Wooster' TV adaptation Rex Features Where do you have fun? I happen to love restaurants. So somewhere to eat. And drink. Where do you exercise in London? I don't. I know, shameful. Have you ever had a run-in with a London police officer? No, thankfully. Where do you let your hair down? Not really enough hair to let down anymore. Also, you must think that I'm a much younger person than I am. What's your biggest extravagance? It used to be Anderson & Sheppard suits. Now it's brightly coloured Hermès handkerchiefs. I've downsized. What's your London secret? The roast chicken at Maison François. Dishes at Maison Francois Steven Joyce What's your favourite work of art in London? What are you up to at the moment for work? I have a memoir called When the Going Was Good to promote. And organising and editing the next issues of our weekly news, features and arts dispatch, Air Mail. What do you collect? I have five canoes of varying size. All of them made by the Old Town Canoe Company in Maine. One of them is a hundred-year-old war canoe that can hold 12. Which podcast are you currently obsessed with? The Rest is History and The Rest is Entertainment. Your favourite grooming spot? If I ever do decide to experience a professional shave, I'd probably go to Taylor on Jermyn Street. What apps do you depend on? Nothing too exotic. Uber and Google Maps. I'm hopeless with directions. Who is your hero? Si Newhouse, my old boss at Condé Nast. No man who held so much sway over the minds and tastes of the upper reaches of civilisation ever wore his influence more lightly. He was like a second father to me. And I adored him.
