18-07-2025
10 Things I Wish People Knew About Life With Psoriatic Arthritis
When I first heard the words 'psoriatic arthritis,' I didn't fully understand how much it would change my life. Like most people, I thought arthritis was something that happened when you were older. I assumed it was mostly about hand pain, maybe stiff knees, a little trouble getting up in the morning, nothing too life-changing.
But what I've come to learn is that psoriatic arthritis is a full-body, life-altering, invisible illness that reshapes how you move through the world. And honestly? Most people don't really understand it.
I don't say that with bitterness. I say it because I used to be one of those people. And now, after years of living with PsA, I find myself wishing there was a little more awareness, a little more patience, and a little less guessing.
Here are 10 things I wish people knew about life with psoriatic arthritis.
1. It's More Than Just Joint Pain
When people hear 'arthritis,' they tend to picture sore knees or aging hips. They don't picture someone in their 20s struggling to open a water bottle or hold up a gallon of milk.
Psoriatic arthritis affects my whole body. The joint pain is real and it shows up in my hands, my knees, my spine, but it's only one part of the story. PsA also comes with skin flares, tendon pain, eye inflammation, brain fog, and fatigue so heavy it feels like gravity tripled overnight.
I remember one morning when I couldn't button my jeans because my hands just wouldn't work. I sat on the floor and cried, not because of the pain, but because I couldn't even get dressed by myself. No one prepared me for the everyday ways my body would start working against me and how much more help I would need.
2. It Can Happen at Any Age
When I tell people I have arthritis, I often get the same surprised reaction: 'But you're too young to have that!'
Psoriatic arthritis doesn't check your birthdate before it shows up. I was diagnosed in my 20s, at a time when I was supposed to be building momentum, chasing opportunities, and saying yes to life. Instead, I was learning how to pace myself and how to sit with loss.
I get why people are surprised because our culture tends to associate arthritis with the elderly. But chronic illness doesn't have an age limit. Sometimes, it walks into your life just as you're getting started.
3. It's an Invisible Illness
Some days, I can look completely fine while my body is quietly unraveling underneath.
One time I pushed through a brunch with friends while my hips and lower back were screaming. I smiled through the meal, made small talk, but spent the entire time wondering if I'd be able to walk back to my car without limping.
PsA is invisible. You can't see my pain, you can't see my fatigue, and that can make it harder for people to understand. There's no visual marker that says, 'This is hard for me today.'
Sometimes, the hardest part isn't the pain, it's accepting my limitations.
4. Fatigue Is Not Just Being Tired
There's tired, and then there's psoriatic arthritis fatigue.
This isn't the kind of tiredness that a nap can fix. It's a deep, body-wide exhaustion that can sneak up without warning and without a reason. I've had days where brushing my hair felt like a full workout. I've had days where I couldn't keep my eyes open after a simple grocery run.
Often, I sit in my car gathering the energy just to go from the car to the front door.
The worst part? Sometimes I'll wake up even more tired than when I went to bed. There's no guaranteed reset from even the best sleep.
5. Flare Days Are Real
I wish people understood how wildly unpredictable psoriatic arthritis can be.
One day, I can feel almost normal. The next, I might not be able to get out of bed. The swings are fast, and they don't always give warning.
I've had to cancel plans at the last minute, leave grocery carts half-full, and cut workdays short because a flare came out of nowhere. It's not about flakiness, it's about a body that makes the rules without telling me. I have to adapt accordingly and fast.
Sometimes I feel guilty or angry, but mostly I just wish my body would keep me in the loop.
6. The Mental Toll Is Heavy
Living with PsA is more than a physical challenge. It's also an emotional one.
There's grief over the things I've had to let go: hobbies I can't do anymore, spontaneous trips I no longer plan, long walks I have to think twice about. There's anxiety about when the next flare will hit. Wondering if my medication will stop working or worrying if I will be OK the day of my wedding. Will I be able to dance that day? Or will I be sitting that one out?
I've sat with this grief quietly. I've cried in parking lots. I've worked hard to find joy where I can. Therapy, community, and honest conversations have helped, but this is a mental load I carry every day.
7. Medications Help, but They're Not Magic
When people hear I'm on medication, they sometimes assume I'm 'better.' I understand why — it's comforting to believe that medicine fixes things.
But the truth is medications can help manage symptoms, but they don't cure psoriatic arthritis. Even on the best days, I'm still working around pain, stiffness, and fatigue.
Finding the right medication is often a long, exhausting process. I've switched treatments, dealt with side effects, waited months for something to finally (maybe) work.
There's progress, but I'll never be back to 'normal.'
8. It Can Impact Work and Relationships
PsA doesn't clock out at 5 p.m. It touches every part of life.
I've worried about being seen as unreliable when I needed to take time off or calling out sick too much. I've fought with companies to get accommodations that allow me to do my work. I've watched friendships slowly fade because I had to say 'no' too many times in a row.
But I've also been lucky to have people who stayed. Friends who texted 'no pressure, but I'd love to see you.' Co-workers and managers who believed me. Those people have made all the difference.
9. Self-Advocacy Is Constant
Living with psoriatic arthritis means I have to speak up for myself — a lot.
Whether it's asking for accommodations, pushing for treatment approvals, or simply explaining what I need to my partner, self-advocacy has become part of daily life. Sometimes it's empowering. Other times, it's exhausting. I've had to fight insurance companies, challenge assumptions, and remind myself that I'm worthy of care.
There's a weight to always having to explain yourself, but the more we talk about it, the easier it becomes for the next person.
10. What Actually Helps
People often ask how they can support someone with a chronic illness. The answer is simple: Believe us.
Believe us when we say we're tired, even if we look fine. Believe us when we cancel plans, even if we were OK yesterday. Believe us the first time we say we're struggling.
What helps the most isn't grand gestures – it's flexibility, patience, and the quiet message that we're not a burden.
A 'thinking of you' text. An invitation with no pressure. A friend who sticks around. Those small things are what carry me on the hardest days.
Final Thoughts
Living with psoriatic arthritis has changed me. It's slowed me down in ways I didn't expect. It's taught me to listen to my body, to be patient with myself, and to ask for help even when it's uncomfortable.
There's grief in this life, but there's also gratitude – for the people who understand, for the days when my body feels manageable, for the moments I still get to enjoy.
If you've made it this far, thank you for taking the time to understand a little more about what life with PsA looks like. And if you're living this life too – I see you, I get it, and you're not alone.
