12-05-2025
Don't let the good moments spill over
There is a reason why something happened the way it did - it is not just a reasoning to make one feel better.
"Whatever will be, will be" is not just a line from a popular song. It can be an attitude.
It was in 1956 when Doris Day released the song 'Que Sera Sera, whatever will be, will be,' and it turned out to be a classic hit.
She reflects in the song how, as a little girl, she had asked her mother, What will she be when she grows up?
"Will I be pretty, will I be rich?"
And her mother replied, "Que Sera Sera, whatever will be, will be."
In 2025 the song is still relevant.
We were asked when we were young, What would you like to be when you grow up?
Once grown up, we now ask other children what they would like to be when they grow up.
We can strive and work hard, but what might come our way may not be what we want or expect. What happens then?
Do we go down with disappointment?
What we must try is to cope and excel. There is no point in delving into the past by looking at dreams. When we are younger, we tend to engage our energy in this aspect. But it is not to say that we do not try again. As they say, when the time is right, what is meant for you will come. What we have to be careful of is not to lose touch with the present moment.
If we observe successful sports personalities, we can learn how they try not to carry the impact of a previous game onto the next one. And if they do, they lose concentration.
Watch the hourglass, and we will know the lesson it can convey. We might be able to turn over the hourglass and see the sand sieve through the tiny hole and fill the other side. But with it, those precious moments have gone forever.
It is not just time; along with it go people and opportunities. If we have lost one opportunity, then we must be in the right frame of mind to try the next one. But if our mind is stuck with what we have lost, there is absolutely no space to comprehend what is flowing in. Can a cup that is full take more coffee? The coffee has no choice but to spill over.
If we do not utilise today in the right spirit, we might miss out on life. It is just like missing out on many days of news, and then one fine day you pop in and find out many things have changed and the news headlines are different. As in the case of skill, if we do not keep up, we might end up being outdated.
But that is not how the youngsters feel because when we are young, we feel we are the ones who know it all or know it better.
When we are young we might know the 'now', but the elders know the basics and are richer with their own experience. It is the combination that makes an organization well balanced. There is, however, one aspect that can affect both the old and the young, and that is change. If we cannot adapt to change, we are defenceless.
More than anything else, when we are stuck in emotions and crying over spilt milk, there is also a danger of losing people. When we hold onto grudges, what we do not realise is the fact that time also takes away people. It may not give us the opportunity to express what we want to convey in terms of gratitude.
So you might argue that if we can forget the past, we can forget the good moments too. But here is the catch: when we relive the good memories, it has a good impact on our body and mind, and so on health.
Psychology Today writes, "Studies have shown that intentionally recalling happy experiences can help to disrupt negative thought patterns, alleviate anxiety, and even lower cortisol levels. This practice has been particularly effective in young people who are at risk of depression due to stress, as it promotes a more positive self-image."
Nostalgia is a good thing. So make sure to collect good memories and enrich them with the right people.
Lakshmi Kothaneth
The writer is a senior editor of Observer
