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Metro
3 days ago
- Entertainment
- Metro
The ‘three-hour night' rule could be a gamechanger for your relationship
Coming home from work, you kiss your partner hello, crash out on the sofa until you muster the energy to cook dinner, and then mindlessly watch TV until it's time for bed. Repeating this same routine on a cycle, you might realise at the end of most evenings together that you've barely caught up with one another. It's doing little for your connection. For one woman, the so-called 'three-hour night' rule is the antidote to this modern-day relationship dilemma – and it's been a complete 'gamechanger' for her marriage. Rachel Higgins and her husband decided that it was time to curate a new evening routine when they realised that after putting their daughter to bed at around 7pm, they would typically sit on the sofa and scroll on their phones. Splitting the remaining three hours of the day into three sections, Rachel explains in a TikTok that the first is a 'productive hour.' 'We start with a quick clean up of the kitchen or things that have accumulated throughout the day, and then we try to do something that's been put off,' she tells her 21,000 followers. Next, it's an hour dedicated solely to their marriage. The key element of this is putting their phones 'down and away' and spending quality time together. This involves things like 'taking a shower together, having fun together, playing a game together, anything that's going to get you guys talking and connecting, debriefing from the day. Anything that's going to connect, strengthen and build your marriage.' X Factor icon Diana Vickers and Metro's dating expert Alice Giddings dive into your wildest sex, love, and dating dilemmas – every Tuesday. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. And be sure to follow and subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also join the fun on our WhatsApp Group Chat here – share your dilemmas and Diana and Alice may just give you a call. Finally, the last hour is one to spend completely by yourself, whether for self-care or otherwise – an element that's often forgotten in relationships. 'This is a time where you can do whatever you want for yourself without judgment. I'm usually reading a book or colouring,' Rachel adds. In the comments, countless followers – many of them also being parents – applauded the approach, with @rachyd6 likening it to a 'closing shift.' @JWoCATX95 reckoned it was equally beneficial for 'us empty nesters too, [as] the phone scrolling is outta control,' while @katiedemasi came up with her own approach, as though she couldn't commit to three hours, she loved the idea of trying 30-30-30. 'I feel like that hour to myself would have to be first on that list. I'd need to decompress before being productive or having fun with my husband lol,' @savagetheoriginal joked. As relationship expert Claire Renier explains, it can take us back down to earth amid the chaos of the modern world, whether you have children or not. Technology is all-encompassing, phubbing can swallow up communication in relationships, and all the while, the dishes piling up don't help to diffuse any tension. In fact, one 2025 study found that 1 in 10 Brits have actually broken up with a partner because they felt third-wheeled by their phone. The impact almost doubles for Gen Z, at 19% of 16-24-year-olds. It's not always just about household tasks not getting done either, but about the 'emotional weight of feeling unsupported or overwhelmed' – which is where the three-hour rule comes in. 'It can be incredibly tempting to just sit down and scroll at the end of a long day, no matter how much you wanted to dedicate time to other things such as self-care or even time together with your partner,' Claire tells Metro. 'With this in mind, creating a structured plan or routine can help you prioritise different important elements. Carving out dedicated time for productive things like household chores or life admin, time together, and self-care can really help things feel more manageable.' Being so intentional about dividing your time can also help to strengthen your communication skills, reduce friction and allow all partners to be more present, and in Claire's view, this only 'rebalances both your schedules and emotional connection.' However, Claire does emphasise the importance of flexibility, particularly if you've got children. Sometimes, dedicating exactly one hour to each phase of the activity isn't feasible – and in her view, a little bit of room for movement is a 'cornerstone of all relationships.' 'I'd recommend adapting the rule to fit your circumstances – whether this is spending an equal but reduced amount of time for each section or alternating how long you spend on each activity each evening to match your needs that day,' she adds. And while spending quality time together gathers headlines in a relationship, sometimes, the most important thing you can do in allowing it to blossom is taking intentional time out for self-care. More Trending As Claire says, all relationship dynamics are different, but it can be difficult to 'feel entirely present or even happy in a relationship if you haven't had the time just to focus on yourself.' She advises: 'Keeping aside specific moments of time to look after yourself and do the things that you enjoy as an individual can help you to feel happier and more refreshed – which can also help you put your best foot forward to be present in your relationship.' 'It's also all too easy for quality time with your partner to slip down the priority list. By actively blocking out moments for each other, you are sending a clear signal that your connection matters. View More » 'Loving each other is no longer just a feeling, but is a deliberate act – building a solid structure capable of withstanding the pressures of modern life.' Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ MORE: This common bedroom phrase instantly turns me off MORE: My partner died — now I'm sleeping with four men at once MORE: Elizabeth Hurley reveals blossoming bond with Billy Ray Cyrus' daughters after loved-up summer
The Irish Sun
4 days ago
- Lifestyle
- The Irish Sun
Wife insists ‘3-hour night' is perfect for saving your marriage – you don't even need to spend full time with husband
The wife says the three-hour night works even if you just do it one night per week TRIPLE THREAT Wife insists '3-hour night' is perfect for saving your marriage – you don't even need to spend full time with husband A WIFE is sharing her secret '3-hour rule' that keeps her marriage alive, and other married couples can't get enough of it. TikToker Rachel Higgins posted a video sharing the simple way she and her husband manage to reconnect after long days. Advertisement 2 TikToker Rachel Higgins shared her secret to keeping her marriage alive Credit: TikTok/rachelleehiggins 2 The three-hour night involves carving out phone-free time for each other Credit: Getty Higgins and her husband began following a three-hour night back in 2024, and the mother said it has been a 'game changer' in their relationship. What is the three-hour night? Higgins explains it as dividing up three hours into three different sections, which allows them to accomplish chores and connect. Higgins and her husband would previously spend the entire night taking care of their young daughter, lounging on the couch while scrolling through their phones, and then going to bed. However, after prioritizing their relationship, their nights take on a slightly different look. Advertisement 'What we do is after my daughter goes to bed…we take an hour of productive time,' Higgins explained. 'Anything that's productive for the household.' During the productive hour, they do chores that they couldn't accomplish throughout the day, such as cleaning the kitchen or laundry. 'The second hour we're dedicating to our marriage. Advertisement 'During this time, we put our phones away and we're solely dedicated to each other and to our marriage.' Higgins said that this hour can look a little different every night. How can I bring up kinks with my partner? Some nights it may mean taking a shower together, while others it may just be as simple as playing a game together. The purpose of this hour is to debrief, discuss, and connect. Advertisement 'The last hour is about taking time to yourself,' she said. In the final hour, both of them can do whatever they want without judgment. Carson Daly's relationship rule In 2024, Carson Daly revealed his secret relationship rule to People: Daly told People that he and his wife, Siri Pinter, sleep in separate rules. 'It's been good for us,' said the Today host before revealing that he and Siri 'secretly love it.' Daly isn't the only celebrity to participate in the "sleep divorce" trend. Cameron Diaz said in 2023 that she and her husband Benji Madden also sleep in different rooms. 'We should normalize separate bedrooms,' she said. "To me, I would literally, I have my house, you have yours." This may be lying on the couch, on your phone, or any other self-care activities you need to do. 'Main point is to inspire you to be intentional with your time if you feel stuck doing the same thing every night like we did,' Higgins wrote in the comments. Advertisement 'No hard rules.' Higgins said that they don't necessarily accomplish their three-hour night goal every night, but they try to do it three to four times a week. The mother said that even just succeeding one night a week can be enough. Higgins' three-hour night drew the attention of over 300,000 TikTok users, with many people rushing to the comments to support the idea or question how she manages to make it work. Advertisement 'Such a good idea,' one woman commented. 'Good for us empty nesters too! The phone scrolling is outta control!'
The Sun
4 days ago
- Entertainment
- The Sun
Wife insists ‘3-hour night' is perfect for saving your marriage – you don't even need to spend full time with husband
A WIFE is sharing her secret '3-hour rule' that keeps her marriage alive, and other married couples can't get enough of it. TikToker Rachel Higgins posted a video sharing the simple way she and her husband manage to reconnect after long days. 2 Higgins and her husband began following a three-hour night back in 2024, and the mother said it has been a 'game changer' in their relationship. What is the three-hour night? Higgins explains it as dividing up three hours into three different sections, which allows them to accomplish chores and connect. Higgins and her husband would previously spend the entire night taking care of their young daughter, lounging on the couch while scrolling through their phones, and then going to bed. However, after prioritizing their relationship, their nights take on a slightly different look. 'What we do is after my daughter goes to bed…we take an hour of productive time,' Higgins explained. 'Anything that's productive for the household.' During the productive hour, they do chores that they couldn't accomplish throughout the day, such as cleaning the kitchen or laundry. 'The second hour we're dedicating to our marriage. 'During this time, we put our phones away and we're solely dedicated to each other and to our marriage.' Higgins said that this hour can look a little different every night. How can I bring up kinks with my partner? Some nights it may mean taking a shower together, while others it may just be as simple as playing a game together. The purpose of this hour is to debrief, discuss, and connect. 'The last hour is about taking time to yourself,' she said. In the final hour, both of them can do whatever they want without judgment. Carson Daly's relationship rule In 2024, Carson Daly revealed his secret relationship rule to People: Daly told People that he and his wife, Siri Pinter, sleep in separate rules. 'It's been good for us,' said the Today host before revealing that he and Siri 'secretly love it.' Daly isn't the only celebrity to participate in the "sleep divorce" trend. Cameron Diaz said in 2023 that she and her husband Benji Madden also sleep in different rooms. 'We should normalize separate bedrooms,' she said. "To me, I would literally, I have my house, you have yours." This may be lying on the couch, on your phone, or any other self-care activities you need to do. 'Main point is to inspire you to be intentional with your time if you feel stuck doing the same thing every night like we did,' Higgins wrote in the comments. 'No hard rules.' Higgins said that they don't necessarily accomplish their three-hour night goal every night, but they try to do it three to four times a week. The mother said that even just succeeding one night a week can be enough. Higgins' three-hour night drew the attention of over 300,000 TikTok users, with many people rushing to the comments to support the idea or question how she manages to make it work.
