Latest news with #RaviGill
Metro
12-08-2025
- General
- Metro
What is Fawning? Gen Z's new fight, flight or freeze response
When we talk about trauma, we often mention the three well-known responses: fight, flight or freeze. It's the idea that everyone has an instinctive survival mechanism to confront (fight), escape (flight) or become immobile (freeze) to a potential threat or danger. However, there's a fourth type of survival response that's often overlooked: fawning. It's a type of extreme people-pleasing behaviour where people appease abusers to avoid conflict. It's not a new concept, but it's becoming increasingly apparent among Gen Zers – those born between 1997 and 2012 – and social media has a lot to answer for it. That's according to Chartered Psychologist and Trauma Specialist Dr Ravi Gill, who has noticed many of her Gen Z clients exhibiting people pleasing or 'fawning' behaviours. 'It's about protecting themselves in a world where so much of their life plays out online,' she tells Metro. 'Many grew up on social media, where constant visibility and public feedback make likability feel like survival. Appeasing or agreeing becomes a low-risk way to avoid online backlash.' Fawning was first coined by psychotherapist Pete Walker in his 2013 book Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving. He described it as 'seeking safety through appeasing the needs and wishes of others' and says it stems from a lack of emotional nurturing in childhood, which creates an extreme self-sacrificing personality. Sound familiar? Here's how to tell if you're a Fawner, and what to do about it. According to Dr Ravi Gill: 'Fawning is a trauma response in which a person instinctively seeks to please, appease or accommodate others to avoid conflict, rejection or perceived danger.' Fawners might seem hyperagreeable, but it's less about genuine agreement and 'more about self-protection learned in unsafe or unpredictable environments'. These types of tendencies are developed as a learned survival strategy. Dr Gill adds: 'It's a way to secure safety, approval or belonging in environments where conflict, rejection or disapproval feel threatening.' There are several reasons why people might adopt fawning as a survival response and childhood experiences can play a big part. 'Growing up in a home where love or acceptance was conditional, or where conflict was unpredictable, can teach children to minimise their own needs to keep the peace,' says Dr Gill. Past experiences of rejection, bullying or abuse can also play a part, hardwiring the instinct to appease as a way to avoid further harm. One sign that you might be a Fawner is if you're constantly overwhelmed. For example, Dr Gill says: 'Always saying 'yes' leads to overcommitment, exhaustion, and eventually burnout.' You could also find yourself struggling to understand your true identity. 'Constantly moulding yourself to others' preferences can make it hard to know your own values, desires or boundaries.' Fawning can cause you to suppress your emotions, too. 'Resentment, sadness or frustration get buried to maintain harmony,' Dr Gill explains. 'This often resurfaces as anxiety, depression or physical stress symptoms.' If left unchecked, this behaviour can lead to unbalanced relationships and people taking advantage of your people-pleasing tendencies. Gen Z may be particularly susceptible to fawning due to many of them growing up in a digital world. You could call it a more extreme manifestation of the Gen Z stare. The combination of messaging apps, social media DMs, emails and group chats means requests are just a ping away. Being online can be confused with being available, making it harder to say 'no' to things. Dr Gill describes it as a 'learned adaptation to a hyper-connected, high-stakes social environment'. Then there's the social conditions they've grown up with. Dr Gill explains that entering adulthood during a period of instability (the pandemic, housing crisis, cost of living, the list goes on) heightens the instinct to maintain alliances and avoid social exclusion. The therapist has seen many examples of fawning in her clients, including one who 'is always double checking that her friends aren't upset with her or apologising for things that she hasn't done'. She adds: 'People pleasing isn't about weakness, it's an adaptive behaviour that once kept someone safe or connected, but can become limiting when it overrides authenticity and self-care.' Avoiding Fawning isn't as simple as flipping a switch, Dr Gill says it's about 'retraining your nervous system and mindset', so you can stay truthful to yourself without feeling unsafe. To do so, she suggests paying attention to trigger moments, for example, when you agree, apologise or soften your opinion out of fear, rather than choice. She adds that it's important to get used to disagreeing. 'Practise saying 'no' or expressing a different view in low-stakes situations to teach your brain that conflict doesn't always mean rejection.' More Trending It's also important to set boundaries, deeciding in advance what you will and won't accept in relationships and sticking to those limits. Don't expect to let go of these old patterns overnight, though. Dr Gill recommends seeking external support to help. 'Trauma-informed therapies like somatic experiencing and CBT can address the root causes and help you respond differently under pressure. 'Over time, these practices replace automatic appeasement with intentional and self-respecting choices.' Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ View More » MORE: 'I used fake AI pictures to get my 13-year-old daughter Mounjaro' MORE: I tried an AI therapist for a month – here is my verdict MORE: I discovered the murky world of 'minor attracted people' – it's even more disturbing than you think Your free newsletter guide to the best London has on offer, from drinks deals to restaurant reviews.
The Independent
05-07-2025
- Sport
- The Independent
I tried Daniel Dubois' sprint routine - and it's not for the fainthearted
'I've worked with World Cup winners, and Daniel Dubois has the best physique I've ever seen,' his physio Ravi Gill tells me as we stand ringside, watching the would-be undisputed world champion train. It is not just his hulking frame or knockout power that impresses Gill either – it is Dubois' ability to work hard and recover fast, which is vital if he is to go 12 rounds with Oleksandr Usyk on 19 July. His regular 20-round training sessions play a significant role in forging this fight-ready fitness, but there is another training method he uses to supercharge his heart and lungs: running. Most mornings, the newly-signed Brooks Running athlete covers between 5km and 8km at a fairly easy pace, and three times per week his strength and conditioning coach takes him to an athletics track for taxing interval sessions. But one of Dubois' regular fitness tests stands above all others – his Saturday hill sprints. His trainer Don Charles runs me through the weekly workout, and the session could strike fear into even the most-seasoned athletes. But in the interests of entertainment and providing a point of comparison for Dubois' pre-fight fitness, I resolved to give it a go. How to do Daniel Dubois' Saturday hill sprints Complete the following sequence 20 times: Hill sprint x120m Walking recovery (back down the hill) x120m 'On Saturdays, Daniel does the mother of all sprint workouts in Greenwich Park,' Charles says. He estimates the gradient of the hill starts at 20 degrees before climbing to nearer 40 degrees by the end. 'It's approximately 120m from bottom to top, and he does it inside 20 seconds,' Charles adds. 'It takes him about one minute and 15 seconds to get back down to the bottom, then he hits it again. He does that 20 times, and he's recovered for every sprint.' What are the benefits of this workout? 'This workout is about learning to push your heart to the max, recover, then push it again,' Charles says. In boxing, athletes have just 60 seconds to recover between three-minute rounds. The ability to perform at a high level within each round is vital but being able to recover more efficiently than your opponent can give you the upper hand the next time the bell rings. For this reason, pre-fight training needs to teach your body to work hard, while also practising recovering quickly from these intense efforts. Hill sprints can have plenty of desirable physiological effects for an athlete too, such as increasing VO2 max – the maximum amount of oxygen you can take in and use during exercise. What happened when I tried Daniel Dubois' hill sprint workout As a fitness writer, I have tried a lot of athletes' training plans such as those used by Olympic champion triathlete Alex Yee, CrossFit legend Mat Fraser and adventurer Ross Edgley. But this one intimidated me. Why? Because there is no gimmick – it is just good, honest work. I live outside of London, but luckily the capital does not have a monopoly on gradients. So I found a sufficiently steep hill in Bristol early one morning and set to work. The first few rounds are fun. Most people stop sprinting after the age of 20-something, but there is a childlike joy that comes with running as fast as you can. Outdoor sessions also offer an intangible feel-good factor, so I was off to a good start. This feel-good factor started to subside after round five. I tackled this workout in the midst of a heatwave, and as the sun rose, so did the mercury. Beads of sweat on my brow turned to torrents, my heart rate shot skywards, and my face bore an uncanny resemblance to 'cranberry crunch' on the Dulux paint colour charts. But with a fitness tracker monitoring my efforts to keep me honest, my only two choices are to give up or keep moving. Somewhat reluctantly, I opt for the latter. The next five rounds are a slog, and my reward for completing them is the realisation that I am only halfway there. At this point, my sprints lack the springiness I had enjoyed at the start, and I can feel my walks back down the hill become marginally more lackadaisical. A glance at my fitness tracker afterwards shows me this is my slowest portion of the session, with paces falling from 28 seconds per interval to more like 34, and the walk back also taking a few extra seconds. It is at this point that I remember Charles' claim about Dubois: 'He's recovered for every sprint.' I, on the other hand, feel far from fresh as I start my eleventh round – one of the many reasons why Dubois is an elite athlete, and I am not. It is after the twelfth round that a switch flicks in my head. With 60 per cent of the workout in the rear-view mirror, my mind can now see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I begin to attack each interval with renewed vigour. The next six rounds are the hardest of the lot, with the final few steepest metres of my route routinely knocking the wind out of my sails. But despite this, I shave a few seconds off my interval times to bring them back down to 30 seconds. I still cannot touch Dubois' sub-20-second efforts, even though he is a full 20kg heavier than me, but it is an improvement. Finally, I find myself enduring the last couple of hill sprints before traipsing down the decline one last time and lying down on a bench. By this point my shirt is sodden, and my lungs heave as I try to bring my breathing back under control. The session took me 38 minutes in total, and reduced me to a sweaty mess with nothing more than a hill. It is brutal, gruelling and effective, providing as much of a mental test as a physical one as I fought the urge to stop on several occasions. This sort of workout falls under the banner of 'type-two fun': 'Hurts to do, fun in retrospect.' It might even creep into the realms of type three: 'Not fun at the time or in retrospect, but makes for a good story.' Either way, if Dubois is able to do this weekly at the paces his trainer Don Charles provided, Usyk has a seriously fit fighter to contend with on 19 July.
Refinery29
02-07-2025
- Health
- Refinery29
I Know How Risky Tanning Beds Are, So Why Can't I Quit Them?
Welcome to Sun Blocked, Refinery29's global call to action to wake up to the serious dangers of tanning. No lectures or shaming, we promise. Instead, our goal is to arm you with the facts you need to protect your skin to the best of your ability, because there's no such thing as safe sun. 'I'll just do a few sessions on a tanning bed to build a base tan before my holiday,' I told myself earlier this year. The results weren't instant, unlike the self-tanners I've used for over a decade, but after a few visits, my skin looked golden. I enjoyed the somewhat lasting glow that didn't leave me looking like a slice of Dutch crunch bread after four days. I planned to stop going to the tanning salon once I returned home, but the allure of tanned skin was hard to resist. What started as building a vacation base tan — which dermatologists argue is actually a myth — quickly turned into, 'I'll keep going so I'm tanned for my birthday,' then, 'I might as well continue over summer. A few more weeks won't hurt.' Before I knew it, I was clocking up more minutes at the tanning salon than I could count. But here's the thing: I know the potentially life-threatening risks of using tanning beds. I know that using tanning beds increases the risk of developing skin cancer, including melanoma, and that, as reported by the Skin Cancer Foundation, more than 419,000 cases of skin cancer in the US each year are linked to indoor tanning. I'm not alone in knowing the risks. In a survey conducted by the American Academy of Dermatology (AAD), 20% of Gen Z adults said that getting a tan is more important to them than preventing skin cancer. But exactly why do we continue? Dr. Ravi Gill, a practitioner psychologist at Smart Mind Health, says that beauty ideals such as ' tanned equals attractive ' can override our instinct for self-protection: 'This is due to powerful social and psychological influences,' says Dr. Gill. Adding, 'From a young age, we're exposed to messages — through media, peers and culture — that link tanned skin with attractiveness, status, and health. Over time, these ideas are internalized and tied to our self-worth and identity.' Lisa, 32, can certainly relate. She used a tanning bed for the first time at just 17 years old after a friend said it would 'look good' to have tanned skin. 'I was curious, so I decided to give it a try,' she tells me, adding that body insecurities are a reason she still uses them: 'When I'm tanned, the spider veins and cellulite on my legs, which you don't see much of on social media, are less visible,' she says. 'That makes me feel more confident. I get compliments as well, which is motivation to continue.' Interestingly, tanning isn't the only example of how we're trading safety for self-esteem. This notion can also be applied to many of our aesthetic practices, like unregulated Botox and BBLs, which have a notoriously high mortality rate in comparison to other cosmetic procedures. Shedding light on this, Dr. Gill explains that humans crave social acceptance and fear rejection, choosing to conform to beauty norms — even when they involve risks: 'The desire for social belonging and approval often feels more immediate and emotionally powerful than long-term health concerns,' she says. ' While I think tanning makes me look better in many ways, I feel particularly conflicted about the damage it's doing thanks to my medical history: I've always had a few questionable moles. The fact that I use tanning beds is something I'm quite embarrassed about. ' Concerningly, Lisa tells me that she fears skin aging more than skin cancer: 'Ironically, I've curated a social media feed full of skinfluencers teaching me how to look after my skin, and I've honed a [multi-step] skincare routine. Yet I continue to do the one thing that will damage my skin the most — something which no amount of serum or SPF can save me from.' Lisa's honesty, or as she puts it, 'silliness', might seem extreme to some, but it reveals a deeper truth: decades of messaging have taught us that our value lies in our appearance. Thanks to the popularity of Ozempic alongside the return of thinness on red carpets and For You Pages (which notably prompted the 'skinnytok' hashtag ban), being slim is back on a pedestal — and tanning plays a role here. I've often found myself commenting on how much 'slimmer' I look with a tan, and who can blame me? Shows like Love Island have helped solidify the idea that bronzed skin doesn't just look 'better' but also leaner and more sculpted — like contouring for your whole body. Is tanning bad for you? While I think tanning makes me look better in many ways, I feel particularly conflicted about the damage it's doing thanks to my medical history. I've always had a few questionable moles. Some are asymmetric, others have jagged borders and a range of colors. On holiday, when my skin is exposed in a bikini, friends and family have commented on it and encouraged me to get checked out. After spending time living in Australia, where UV levels are very high, I decided to follow through on this. I wasn't a tanning bed user at the time of my first (or second) mole check, but doctors did flag that the Sydney sunshine could have put my skin at risk. After an examination of my moles, I was advised to keep an eye on them and return if I saw any 'noticeable changes'. In the years since those checks, I've observed a handful of changes to some of my moles. But as someone with health anxiety, I never know if I'm being paranoid or if I really should go back to the doctor. Consequently, I'm in limbo — I don't want to waste my doctor's time if the changes I've seen aren't 'noticeable' enough, but I also don't want to ignore the issue and end up in a potentially life-threatening situation. Taking all of this into consideration, the fact that I use tanning beds probably sounds absurd. Honestly, it's something I'm quite embarrassed about. Why do we use tanning beds despite the risks? Dr. Gill explains that this is a case of cognitive dissonance, when a person feels psychological discomfort because their actions contradict their beliefs. 'In beauty culture, this dissonance is common,' she says, pointing again to societal pressures. 'For example, someone may understand the risks of tanning bed use or crash dieting but still engage in these behaviors to align with societal beauty ideals.' Dr. Gill goes on to explain that we try to resolve this internal discomfort by rationalizing our behaviors rather than changing them. Telling ourselves, 'It's just for summer' or 'Everyone else is doing it' is an easy way to avoid feelings of guilt. Critics, however, often think that tanning bed users should feel guilty for this choice. But here's the thing: 'Shaming people for using tanning beds often backfires, making them more likely to continue the behavior,' says Dr. Gill. She adds, 'Research shows that self-criticism reduces motivation for change, while compassionate, non-judgmental support is more effective in encouraging healthier choices.' But can anyone truly say they've always put their health above all else? Like tanning beds, alcohol, processed meat, and tobacco, for example, are classed as type one carcinogens — substances that can cause cancer. I'm keen to know whether those who frown on my habit often indulge in a fast food burger or unwind with a bottle of wine. ' We are watching the number of skin cancers scale out of control in our clinics. Dr Kiely ' Is tanning addictive? That's before we bring class into the equation. Research that shows those from lower socio-economic backgrounds are more likely to use tanning beds. Although further investigation is needed to explore why that is, a 2022 study concluded that tanning bed use has been historically framed through the media as a 'working-class activity'. Of course, it's not just about class, appearances or a taste for Sauvignon Blanc; the addictiveness of carcinogens plays a role: 'Tanning is addictive and there's actually a biological explanation,' says Dr. Clare Kiely, a consultant dermatologist and cofounder of The Skin Diary. She explains that when the body is exposed to UV radiation, it triggers a process that results in the release of endorphins, hormones that create a sense of 'euphoria'. For many, the glow isn't just about looking good — it's about feeling good, too: 'I'm normally in a better mood after a tanning bed,' confirms Ella, who agrees this 'mood-boosting' effect is a big factor in why people feel addicted to tanning beds. Lisa echoes this, telling me she enjoys the light and 'me-time' of being on a tanning bed: 'It's like dreaming myself away to a beach.' Given how addictive tanning beds are, the responsibility to prevent their damage shouldn't rest solely on users. Many experts argue that stricter regulation is the only way forward, especially as research shows we continue to tan in spite of the evidence before us. 'I don't believe the current regulations are adequate,' says Dr. Rakesh Anand, a consultant dermatologist and British Skin Foundation spokesperson. He notes that while there are restrictions on under-18s and some standards for equipment and usage, there's still a 'significant' public health risk. 'Given the well-established link between tanning bed use and skin cancer, stronger measures are urgently needed,' he adds. As for what that might look like, various skin cancer charities have called for tanning beds to have graphic warning signs similar to those found on cigarette packets, while a June 2025 study exposed ' potential gaps in current regulations ' when it comes to tanning salons marketing on social media. Whether on a tanning bed in New York or a beach lounger in Mexico, dermatologists are firm in their answer that there's no such thing as a safe tan — 'Unless it's self-tanner from a bottle,' says Dr. Kiely. She agrees with Dr. Anand that the only way to 'eliminate' risk is to ban tanning beds, as they are in countries such as Australia and Brazil: 'I'm coming at it as a person who has spent her career cutting out thousands of skin cancers, some of them life-threatening,' Dr. Kiely adds. 'We are watching the number of skin cancers scale out of control in our clinics. We must take measures now to protect future generations.' Despite being reminded by every expert of the very real dangers before me, in the time I've been writing this article, I've racked up another 44 minutes on the tanning beds — although I have reduced the frequency of my visits. I want to stop altogether and pick up my once-beloved self-tanners that are currently collecting dust, but I'm trying to feel less guilt and shame about this habit, as I've unpicked how years of societal pressure led me to this point. Ultimately, that's what needs to change. From Botox to fillers and beyond, we've all been sold on the 'ideal' appearance, which can differ depending on what we've been conditioned into thinking. The recent ban on disposable vapes proves that if people want to do something, they'll find a way, so we all have to do our part in breaking the cycle when it comes to tanning. Mine is writing this article and being vulnerable about a paradox many of us feel but rarely discuss: the desire to protect our skin while craving the glow of a tan. It would also help to see celebrities and influencers embracing their natural skin tones, and for brands to do the same with the models in their campaigns. Whether it's a school session or a poster in a tanning salon, better education could also go a long way — not just about the dangers of tanning beds, which clearly isn't always enough, but about how to resist outside pressure. In learning how to accept ourselves as we are, we might just find the glow hits differently when it comes from within.
Refinery29
02-07-2025
- Health
- Refinery29
I Know How Risky Sunbeds Are, So Why Can't I Quit Them?
Welcome to Sun Blocked, Refinery29's global call to action to wake up to the serious dangers of tanning. No lectures or shaming, we promise. Instead, our goal is to arm you with the facts you need to protect your skin to the best of your ability, because there's no such thing as safe sun. 'I'll just do a few sessions on a sunbed to build a base tan before my holiday,' I told myself earlier this year. The results weren't instant, unlike the self-tanners I've used for over a decade, but after a few visits, my skin looked golden. I enjoyed the somewhat lasting glow that didn't leave me looking like a slice of tiger bread after four days. I planned to stop going to the tanning salon once I got back to the UK, but the allure of sunbed-kissed skin was hard to resist. What started as building a holiday base tan — which dermatologists argue is actually a myth — quickly turned into, 'I'll keep going so I'm tanned for my birthday,' then, 'I might as well continue over summer. A few more weeks won't hurt.' Before I knew it, I was clocking up minutes at the tanning salon like points on my Tesco Clubcard. Unlike the money-off coupons I get with my Clubcard, however, there's no long-term benefit to using sunbeds. But I know this. I know the potentially life-threatening risks of using sunbeds. I know that sunbed use increases the risk of developing skin cancer like melanoma, and that sunbeds cause about 440 melanomas and around 100 deaths each year in the UK, according to research from the charity Melanoma Focus. I'm not alone in knowing the risks. In a UK survey conducted this year, 59% of people admitted they knew that sunbed use increases the risk of skin cancer. Why, then, do we continue? Dr Ravi Gill, a practitioner psychologist at Smart Mind Health, says that beauty ideals such as ' tanned equals attractive ' can override our instinct for self-protection: 'This is due to powerful social and psychological influences,' says Dr Gill. Adding, 'From a young age, we're exposed to messages — through media, peers and culture — that link tanned skin with attractiveness, status and health. Over time, these ideas are internalised and tied to our self-worth and identity.' Lisa, 32, can certainly relate. She used a sunbed for the first time at just 17 years old after a friend said it would 'look good' to have tanned skin. 'I was curious, so I decided to give it a try,' she tells me, adding that body insecurities are a reason she still uses them: 'When I'm tanned, the spider veins and cellulite on my legs, which you don't see much of on social media, are less visible,' she says. 'That makes me feel more confident. I get compliments as well, which is motivation to continue.' Interestingly, tanning isn't the only example of how we're trading safety for self-esteem. This notion can also be applied to many of our aesthetic practices, like unregulated Botox and BBLs, which have a notoriously high mortality rate in comparison to other cosmetic procedures. Shedding light on this, Dr Gill explains that humans crave social acceptance and fear rejection, choosing to conform to beauty norms — even when they involve risks: 'The desire for social belonging and approval often feels more immediate and emotionally powerful than long-term health concerns,' she says. ' While I think tanning makes me look better in many ways, I feel particularly conflicted about the damage it's doing thanks to my medical history: I've always had a few questionable moles. The fact that I use sunbeds is something I'm quite embarrassed about. ' Concerningly, Lisa tells me that she fears skin ageing more than skin cancer: 'Ironically, I've curated a social media feed full of skinfluencers teaching me how to look after my skin, and I've honed a [multi-step] skincare routine. Yet I continue to do the one thing that will damage my skin the most — something which no amount of serum or SPF can save me from.' Lisa's honesty, or as she puts it, 'silliness', might seem extreme to some, but it reveals a deeper truth: decades of messaging have taught us that our value lies in our appearance. Thanks to the popularity of Ozempic alongside the return of thinness on red carpets and For You Pages (which notably prompted the 'skinnytok' hashtag ban), being slim is back on a pedestal — and tanning plays a role here. I've often found myself commenting on how much 'slimmer' I look with a tan, and who can blame me? Shows like Love Island have helped solidify the idea that bronzed skin doesn't just look 'better' but also leaner and more sculpted — like contouring for your whole body. Is tanning bad for you? While I think tanning makes me look better in many ways, I feel particularly conflicted about the damage it's doing thanks to my medical history. I've always had a few questionable moles. Some are asymmetric, others have jagged borders and a range of colours. On holiday, when my skin is exposed in a bikini, friends and family have commented on it and encouraged me to get checked out. After spending time living in Australia, where UV levels are very high, I decided to follow through on this. I wasn't a sunbed user at the time of my first (or second) mole check, but doctors did flag that the Sydney sunshine could have put my skin at risk. After an examination of my moles, I was advised to keep an eye on them and return if I saw any 'noticeable changes'. In the years since those checks, I've observed a handful of changes to some of my moles. But as someone with health anxiety, I never know if I'm being paranoid or if I really should go back to the doctor. Consequently, I'm in limbo — I don't want to waste NHS time if the changes I've seen aren't 'noticeable' enough, but I also don't want to ignore the issue and end up in a potentially life-threatening situation. Taking all of this into consideration, the fact that I use sunbeds probably sounds absurd. Honestly, it's something I'm quite embarrassed about. Why do we use sunbeds despite the risks? Dr Gill explains that this is a case of cognitive dissonance, when a person feels psychological discomfort because their actions contradict their beliefs. 'In beauty culture, this dissonance is common,' she says, pointing again societal pressures. 'For example, someone may understand the risks of sunbed use or crash dieting but still engage in these behaviours to align with societal beauty ideals.' Dr Gill goes on to explain that we try to resolve this internal discomfort by rationalising our behaviours rather than changing them. Telling ourselves, 'It's just for summer' or 'Everyone else is doing it' is an easy way to avoid feelings of guilt. Critics, however, often think that sunbed users should feel guilty for this choice. But here's the thing: 'Shaming people for using sunbeds often backfires, making them more likely to continue the behaviour,' says Dr Gill. She adds, 'Research shows that self-criticism reduces motivation for change, while compassionate, non-judgmental support is more effective in encouraging healthier choices.' But can anyone truly say they've always put their health above all else? Like sunbeds, alcohol, processed meat and tobacco, for example, are classed as type one carcinogens — substances that can cause cancer. I'm keen to know whether those who frown on my habit often indulge in a fast food burger or unwind with a bottle of wine. ' We are watching the number of skin cancers scale out of control in our clinics. Dr Kiely ' Is tanning addictive? That's before we bring class into the equation. Research that shows those from lower socio-economic backgrounds are more likely to use sunbeds. Although further investigation is needed to explore why that is, a 2022 study concluded that sunbed use has been historically framed through the media as a 'working-class activity'. Of course, it's not just about class, appearances or a taste for Sauvignon Blanc; the addictiveness of carcinogens plays a role: 'Tanning is addictive and there's actually a biological explanation,' says Dr Clare Kiely, a consultant dermatologist and cofounder of The Skin Diary. She explains that when the body is exposed to UV radiation, it triggers a process that results in the release of endorphins, hormones that create a sense of 'euphoria'. For many, the glow isn't just about looking good — it's about feeling good, too: 'I'm normally in a better mood after a sunbed,' confirms Ella, who agrees this 'mood-boosting' effect is a big factor in why people feel addicted to sunbeds. Lisa echoes this, telling me she enjoys the light and 'me-time' of being on a sunbed: 'It's like dreaming myself away to a beach.' Given how addictive sunbeds are, the responsibility to prevent their damage shouldn't rest solely on users. Many experts argue that stricter regulation is the only way forward, especially as research shows we continue to tan in spite of the evidence before us. 'I don't believe the current regulations are adequate,' says Dr Rakesh Anand, a consultant dermatologist and British Skin Foundation spokesperson. He notes that while there are restrictions on under-18s and some standards for equipment and usage, there's still a 'significant' public health risk. 'Given the well-established link between sunbed use and skin cancer, stronger measures are urgently needed,' he adds. As for what that might look like, various skin cancer charities have called for sunbeds to have graphic warning signs similar to those found on cigarette packets, while a June 2025 study exposed ' potential gaps in current regulations ' when it comes to tanning salons marketing on social media. Whether on a sunbed in South London or a beach lounger in Spain, dermatologists are firm in their answer that there's no such thing as a safe tan — 'Unless it's self-tanner from a bottle,' says Dr Kiely. She agrees with Dr Anand that the only way to 'eliminate' risk is to ban sunbeds, as they are in countries such as Australia and Brazil: 'I'm coming at it as a person who has spent her career cutting out thousands of skin cancers, some of them life-threatening,' Dr Kiely adds. 'We are watching the number of skin cancers scale out of control in our clinics. We must take measures now to protect future generations.' Despite being reminded by every expert of the very real dangers before me, in the time I've been writing this article, I've clocked up another 44 minutes on the sunbeds — although I have reduced the frequency of my visits. I want to stop altogether and pick up my once-beloved self-tanners that are currently collecting dust, but I'm trying to feel less guilt and shame about this habit, as I've unpicked how years of societal pressure led me to this point. Ultimately, that's what needs to change. From Botox to fillers and beyond, we've all been sold on the 'ideal' appearance, which can differ depending on what we've been conditioned into thinking. The recent ban on disposable vapes proves that if people want to do something, they'll find a way, so we all have to do our part in breaking the cycle when it comes to tanning. Mine is writing this article and being vulnerable about a paradox many of us feel but rarely discuss: the desire to protect our skin while craving the glow of a tan. It would also help to see celebrities and influencers embracing their natural skin tones, and for brands to do the same with the models in their campaigns. Whether it's a school session or a poster in a tanning salon, better education could also go a long way — not just about the dangers of sunbeds, which clearly isn't always enough, but about how to resist outside pressure. In learning how to accept ourselves as we are, we might just find the glow hits differently when it comes from within.
Daily Mirror
04-05-2025
- Health
- Daily Mirror
'My brother took his own life - what I found on his phone broke my heart'
Every year, one in four people in England will experience a mental health problem of some kind, meaning it's more important than ever that we continue raising awareness of the subject In recent years, mental health has become a huge topic of conversation. And with one in four people in England experiencing a mental health problem of some kind each year, and women being three times more likely than men to suffer, it's a subject we should continue to shout about – especially during Mental Health Awareness Week, which takes place from 12-18 May. This year, the campaign is focusing on the theme of 'community' and highlighting the role that positive communities can play. As well as giving people a sense of belonging and support, social connections can help people be physically healthier and happier too. 'Being part of a community is an important thing for social connection. If we look from an evolutionary perspective, we've never done things in isolation. Everything is always done with a group, with a company, that's just how we do it,' explains Practitioner Psychologist Doctor Ravi Gill ( She adds, 'Being around people helps to reduce our stress levels, reduce anxiety presentation, but also low mood presentation. This is because it helps to provide emotional support. 'If we think of good times, we have somebody to celebrate things with, but also during the negative times, that emotional support could be quite critical for stress, anxiety, depression. If you know that you're not navigating those things alone, it helps to increase feelings of belonging and purpose. 'Sometimes what we find is for people experiencing depression, they feel helplessness and hopelessness and like they don't belong. Whereas having people around you increases that feeling of belonging and purpose, which can help lift us in our overall mood.' Here are some ways we can help ourselves, and others, improve mental wellbeing. Get a hobby The idea of finding a positive community may seem daunting, but this doesn't have to be the case. Dr Gill says, 'Think about what it is you're looking for. One of the most common things is to find somebody that enjoys the same things as you, so think about what kind of hobbies and interests are important to you and look for spaces that align with your passions.' Be socially active Being socially connected doesn't just positively impact our mental health, but it can help our physical health too, with loneliness being associated with elevated blood pressure and acute stress responses. 'Being around people can also encourage healthy behaviour. For instance, going to Parkruns or joining a running club combines community with physical activity,' says Dr Gill. Warning signs It's helpful to know the signs that someone may be struggling with their mental health. 'The main thing to look out for is a change in behaviour. Are they more tearful, lacking energy, more withdrawn? Gut feeling is one of the strongest things when something doesn't feel right,' says Samaritans listening volunteer Lucia Capobianco. Let them know you care Many people worry that reaching out will seem intrusive, but Lucia has some reassuring words. 'I think everyone has a fear they're going to make it worse. The truth is, nobody will mind you asking, 'Are you OK?' 'If they are, and they're just having a bad week, they'll tell you. But if they're not, you've given them permission to say so. You can't make someone open up, but the fact you've asked lets them know you care.' 'SHUSH' tips If someone opens up, listening is key. 'The Samaritans have a thing called SHUSH tips,' says Lucia. 'S is 'show you care'. You show you care by asking someone if they're OK. H is 'having patience', so give someone time. U is 'using open questions'. S is 'say it back'. It's powerful to use someone's words back at them to check you have understood. H is 'having courage'. It's taking that first step to ask.' 'When Josh took his own life, it was devastating' Alice Hendy opens up about founding suicide prevention charity R;pple after losing her brother to suicide in November 2020... 'Josh was a cheeky chappy. He was 21 years old. He absolutely loved his music and would DJ at his friends' parties. He was a very kind person, always looking out for other people and wanting to make them happy. 'I was the older sister. There was a seven-year age gap between us, so I was quite protective of him and made sure he was doing well in his studies. We grew up in a tight-knit family. It was Josh, myself and our parents and we would do everything together. When I was told Josh had taken his life, my life stopped. It was just devastating. 'It was the worst thing that could ever have happened to me so it's a scary world for me now. Nothing else will ever be as bad as what's already happened. 'When we lost Josh, we went through his devices and dived into what he was doing in the months leading up to his death. What I found was Josh had been making harmful internet searches and I couldn't believe there had been no intervention. There was nothing there to stop him, to make him pause and to tell him that there was a different, more hopeful path. 'Because nothing existed, I decided to create my own idea, r;pple. It is dedicated to intercepting harmful content. It gave me a purpose and a reason to get up in the morning, and it still does. If I can stop this from happening to other families, that can only be a positive thing.'
