16 hours ago
My husband killed my kids as revenge for leaving him, but they could have be saved – now I want my babies exhumed
AS ELLIE McCulloch bickered with her ex husband Ron Jonker over who would get custody of the kids, she couldn't believe how unreasonable he was being.
Happy for him to see the kids whenever he liked, Ellie wanted her children to have their father in their lives.
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But Jonker wanted to hurt her and Ellie underestimated just how far he was willing to go.
After losing their custody battle in court bitter Jonker drove his three children miles away from their mum and killed them and himself by filling the car with exhaust fumes.
'He warned if I won in court, he'd make sure I'd lose in the end,' heartbroken Ellie says. 'I begged authorities to take my children away from him.
'I'm devastated that 27 years after my beautiful children were murdered, we still haven't learned that when it comes to children's lives, it's better to be safe than sorry.'
Ellie, who lives in Western Australia, was just 15 when she met Jonker, then 21, at her dad David's fishing club.
'We became friends but we didn't start seeing each other until five years later,' says Ellie, now 55.
'By then I was a single mum with a seven-month-old boy named after my dad and Ron had a son with his former wife.'
The couple went on to have another boy named Aaron together and got married soon after.
When David was six and Aaron was almost four, the couple welcomed their daughter Ashlee.
'All I'd ever wanted in life was to be a mum and I worked hard at being a good one,' Ellie says. 'The kids were my pride and joy.
'David was tall for his age with beautiful blue eyes and blonde hair. He was my little man. He was close to my dad who he called 'Gampa' and he liked fishing and country music.
'Meanwhile Aaron was my quiet one and had a beautiful smile and blue eyes too.
'He and David were best mates and they doted on their blue-eyed baby sister.'
Behind closed doors
While Ellie thrived off being a parent and loved family life, her relationship with Jonker deteriorated.
'He was verbally abusive and pushed and shoved me,' Ellie says. 'But worse than that he was completely disinterested in the kids and even cruel.'
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Ellie claims there were several occasions when she had seen Jonker physically harm her boys and by the end of September 1998 she ended the relationship moving herself and the kids in with her dad.
'Ron was angry but I tried keeping things civil,' Ellie says. 'I told him he could have the kids over whenever he liked and that he was welcome over for dinner any time.
'I thought we'd work it out.'
On Friday, October 2nd, Ron took the kids for the weekend. After a few days he called to ask if he could have the children for a few more days.
'I agreed hoping it was an attempt from him at being a better dad,' Ellie says.
'But when I popped in to see the children, Ron flew into a rage, grabbing me round the throat.'
Custody battle begins
A few days later Jonker called Ellie to tell he was going to file for full custody of the kids.
'I was distraught,' she admits.
'I loved my kids so much that if I genuinely thought Ron was the better parent, I'd have let him raise them, after all I had been raised by my dad.
'Ron refused to give the kids back and would be violent and abusive when I saw him.'
On Monday October 19 1998, three weeks after the couple split, they had the custody hearing.
The judge awarded Ellie custody, allowing Jonker two weekends out of three and he was ordered to return the children on October 23rd.
'When I saw Ron outside the court it was like looking at evil and I had a horrific premonition,' Ellie recalls.
Killer instincts
'I told my lawyer I was sure he was going to kill our kids and begged her to do something but she said there was nothing she could do as there was no sign he was going to hurt them.'
But Ellie was so concerned that she called the police. An officer was sent round to Jonker's home but they reported he was no threat to himself or his children.
'I called the child welfare authorities and begged them to take the kids out of his care,' Ellie recalls.
'I gave them permission to put my kids in the system as long as they were away from him but nobody listened.'
On 21st October, Jonker allowed the children to call Ellie and she spoke to Aaron and David briefly.
'They seemed fine and Ron indicated he was bringing them kids back so I was excited,' she says.
At around 6.20pm Jonker called and spoke to Ellie's dad David and instructed him to go to the bottom of the drive.
'I assumed he was handing the kids to dad and didn't want to see me,' Ellie says.
But David snr only returned with a letter from Jonker. It read: 'I did warn you that if you won in court, you would lose.
Murder threats made
'Unless some divine miracle happens the next time you see my kids will be to make a positive ID at the Coroner's Office.'
Ellie admits she was 'hysterical' but was able to call the police who arrived 15 minutes later.
They consulted with a superior then instructed Ellie to ring Jonker to find out where he was and arrange a meeting.
'After repeated calls, I got through,' Ellie says. 'I told him he could have full custody as long as he didn't hurt the children.
'He agreed to meet me at 8.30pm at a place called Gingin but warned me to come alone.'
It was just before 7pm and Gingin was 80 minutes away.
'The cops told me it was too dangerous for me to go and insisted on accompanying me,' Ellie says.
'At 8.20pm he rang and dad answered who stalled him by telling him I was on the way.
'He rang again 20 minutes later, he heard the boys in the background and they were crying 'Gampa help us'.'
As the police approached, Jonker caught sight of them and drove off. They followed the car but had to abandon it when Jonker hit 170km.
'He called me afterwards and told me he'd warned me about the police,' Ellie says. 'He said he thought he'd lost them and said 'you've done your dash' then hung up.
Where to seek grief support
Need professional help with grief?
Child Bereavement UK
Cruse Bereavement
Relate
The Good Grief Trust
You can also always speak to your GP if you're struggling.
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'I knew he meant it was all over now and sobbed, hoping the police would find him again.'
But there was no trace of Jonker, 33, and the children until the car was spotted on a quiet bush track by an air force plane the following day.
'A woman officer broke the news to me that Ron and the kids were inside, all dead,' Ellie says. 'I can remember someone putting their arms around me and then being sedated.'
Jonker had killed himself and the children with exhaust fumes. Ashlee, 17 months, was in his arms.
'A police friend of dad's advised me not to ID or view the children,' Ellie says. 'I didn't want to go to the funeral, it meant it was real. But of course, I did go.
'When I saw the little white coffins, I almost passed out.'
The three children were buried together, with Ashlee dressed in her favourite pair of bunny ears.
'I'd lived for my kids and now I didn't want to live anymore,' Ellie says. 'The only reason I am still here is because otherwise Ron would win.
'I tried blocking everything out with drink and drugs - it broke my dad's heart.'
But there was more pain to come for the family.
Police blunders uncovered
At an inquest in 2000 it was revealed the kids might have been saved if it wasn't for police blunders.
They had the 8.30pm meeting time from 7pm but nobody got there until 9.30pm, because it was unclear who was leading the manhunt.
The police helicopter was being serviced and the tactical squad was on another job.
No roadblocks were set up and when the police did spot Jonkers, they lost him after just one car was in pursuit of him.
Officers from another police station couldn't attend because they'd run out of petrol and all the fuel stations were closed.
'It was heartbreaking,' Ellie says. 'After the inquest, I asked for the police files but was told they'd disappeared in transit.
'For another eight years, I was a lost soul.'
Then, in 2012, Ellie and her dad moved from Perth to Bunbury, a couple of hours south, for a fresh start, with the father and daughter living next door to one another.
'I met a decent man at last, Richard and dad loved him,' Ellie says.
In September 2018, six months after Richard and Ellie were married, David passed away aged 82.
'It's only recently I've felt strong enough to face what happened," Ellie says. 'I can't stand by any longer while these family murder-suicides keep happening.
'So, I'm going to request the police files again, I want accountability.
'The same mistakes are still being made.'
Ellie wants to see concerns like hers be taken more seriously.
'If one parent is concerned the other might harm their kids, they should be removed immediately,' she says.
'Give them to the grandparents, just get them out.'
Final closure
Ellie now wants her children's bodies exhumed to help her gain the final closure she needs.
'I want my babies exhumed and cremated, so they can be with me permanently,' she says. 'When I pass their ashes can be with mine.
'It'll cost about £15,000, which I just don't have.
'I'm considering a GoFundMe but people can be cruel though.
'I've been through so much in my life, I'm not sure I could handle any negative comments so I am still deciding what to do.
'Having their ashes would bring some peace to my life.
'And then at least I'd know that when I pass, I would be with my babies for eternity.'
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