Latest news with #Ruan
Axios
17 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Axios
Historic Ruan space revived for Sips in the City
Sips in the City, one of Winefest Des Moines' most anticipated events, is returning downtown this year with a fresh twist — it's happening inside the newly renovated Ruan Pavilion at the Ruan Center. Why it matters: This is the first time the Ruan Pavilion — a former bank lobby turned office space — is being used for Sips, marking a new chapter for the used downtown venue. Ruan Center officials aim to transform the 11,000-square-foot space into a regular events destination. Catch up quick: The Ruan Center, added to the National Register of Historic Places this year, encompasses the 600 block of Grand and Locust avenues. The 36-story office building includes the Pavilion and the adjacent 14-story Two Ruan, which is under residential redevelopment. Flashback: The pavilion space was once a bustling public area with bank tellers. Over the decades, it was sectioned off for private offices until 2021, when those offices were relocated and the open space was mainly used for Ruan Center employee activities, building manager Jona Schmidt tells Axios. State of play: Ruan officials recognized the potential for an events space following a Des Moines Metro Opera gala there last year. Sips will help them assess possible future enhancements, Schmidt said. Zoom in: Sips was at Smash Park in West Des Moines in recent years and is moving downtown partly in response to guest feedback, Winefest board member Chris Diebel tells Axios. If you go: 6-9pm June 13.
Yahoo
6 days ago
- General
- Yahoo
Adults Who Display These Character Traits May Have Been The "Loser Sibling" In Their Childhood — Here's What That Means
Sibling relationships are complicated, and I'm not just referring to the incestuous overtones in Season 3 of The White Lotus. Sometimes, one sibling can be overshadowed by their more outgoing or successful siblings, making them feel lacking. Sasha from the Netflix series Nobody Wants This implies this when referring to himself and a friend as the 'loser siblings' of their families. Having a sibling can feel like a zero-sum game of winners and losers. And though it might seem harmless to joke about being a 'loser sibling,' there are consequences that come along with internalizing this label. 'Childhood labels and favoritism have a huge impact on identity development and how adults continue to see themselves in the world,' said Charlynn Ruan, a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of Thrive Psychology Group. Below, experts discuss traits that adults are likely to develop if they grew up as the 'loser sibling' and how they can move past this label. 1. Low self-esteem People who feel invalidated by their families tend to have poor self-esteem. 'Even though they likely have many positive personality traits and talents, they may see themselves as inferior to their sibling,' said Natalie Moore, a holistic therapist specializing in people pleasers and women navigating anxiety and trauma. Inside jokes like calling another sibling the golden child 'are often a cover for something that is painfully true and harmful,' Ruan said. If one sibling is consistently favored by their parents or peers, the others might think they're flawed or unworthy of praise and affection. Instead of thinking, 'I may not be smart or athletic, but I'm capable of other things,' the 'loser sibling' might have an all-or-nothing mindset where they tell themselves, 'I am bad' or 'I'm worthless.' 2. People pleasing If they didn't feel special or important to their parents or caregivers, they may expect to be treated the same way by friends, bosses, or romantic partners. Since they fear rejection, they might be afraid to show initiative in choosing friends or partners who are good to them. 'They will often work overtime to try to please someone to get their approval and might not consider their feelings and needs because they were invalidated as a child,' explained Ruan. People pleasers also struggle with a lack of boundaries. Rather than displaying healthy vulnerability by gradually opening up to someone, they might go on a first date and share every horrible thing that's ever happened to them, she added. 3. Feeling shame When conflict arises, families tend to blame the so-called 'loser sibling' or pit them against other relatives. For example, a parent might project negative feelings onto a child who reminds them of their own flaws or those of an ex-partner. Because the child doesn't know why they're being treated unfairly, they tend to feel ashamed or inadequate. Nothing they do will ever be good enough. 'These siblings often become the scapegoat or, in other words, the person in a family who is unconsciously assigned the role of expressing the symptoms of the family system,' Moore said. The scapegoated individual is often seen as a disappointment, so the rest of the family can uphold their image of happiness or success. According to research, in dysfunctional families, parents may transfer unresolved tensions in their relationship onto their relationship with their child. 'Becoming the identified patient or scapegoat can manifest as substance abuse or mental health issues such as anxiety or depression.' 4. Overcompensating Because they feel inferior to their siblings, 'loser siblings' often develop traits such as humor, creativity, or likability to compensate for their perceived failings, Moore said. 'These traits can appear positive from the outside, but often cause the individual internal suffering as they stem from a lack of self-worth versus a true expression of their personality,' she added. Another way they tend to overcompensate is by being a high achiever. 'However, even if they become high achievers, they may still experience impostor syndrome or resentment for being labeled the 'loser sibling,'' said Patrice Le Goy, an international psychologist and licensed marriage and family therapist. 'Or they may become extremely hard on themselves and have difficulty celebrating their accomplishments or giving themselves grace.' 5. Avoiding competition Children who grow up in the shadow of their siblings' accomplishments may avoid pursuing their dreams as adults. They might talk themselves out of applying for a coveted job or asking for a raise. Marathon running in the light of evening 'If the 'loser' label extended to many or all areas of their identity, they might avoid striving for something they could lose or putting themselves in a position where they could be rejected or publicly exposed as a loser,' Ruan said. 6. Self-sabotaging The 'loser sibling' label can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy. That's because 'people tend to create an external world that matches their internal identity and seek out experiences that confirm their beliefs,' Ruan said. They might subconsciously sabotage their chances of success because they're accustomed to failing, and it gives them a sense of control over their fate. Le Goy agreed, saying that if your parents, teachers, or coaches compared you unfavorably to your siblings, you may not live up to your full potential because you think you'll never measure up in their eyes. In other words, you can't be disappointed if you don't try in the first place. 7. Sabotaging relationships In addition to thwarting their success, 'loser siblings' tend to sabotage their relationships. 'Since their self-worth is so low, when someone does choose them as an adult, it makes them feel anxious and uncomfortable,' Ruan said. For example, they might cheat on their wonderful partner with someone who is less socially desirable because that's what they feel they deserve. In addition, they might think that if their partner really got to know them as a person, they would reject them or leave the relationship. 'So, they'll hide parts of themselves or cheat on their partner with someone they subconsciously feel is closer to their self-perceived level of value,' Ruan said. 8. Engaging in social comparison The comparisons don't stop at their sibling relationships. 'When they engage in upward comparison by comparing themselves to people they consider more successful, they often feel dejected,' Moore said. Conversely, they gain momentary relief from engaging in downward comparison. But this sense of self-satisfaction is short-lived because nothing they do will ever measure up to their sibling. How to overcome the 'loser sibling' identity. The first step toward healing is to acknowledge that these dynamics are occurring. 'The individual needs to see that they are not a loser but rather have taken on a role in an unhealthy family system,' Moore said. It may take an outside party such as a friend or therapist to point out the unfair treatment of siblings. 'Remember it took decades to build those negative belief systems, so it will take time to change them,' Ruan said. She recommended reading self-help books, joining a support group, or working with a therapist who is familiar with these issues and can help you reframe negative beliefs. Once you recognize these unhealthy patterns, it's important to seek out environments where you feel valued and avoid situations that mirror your childhood. Take time to reflect on your strengths and what matters to you. Write down your definition of success, not what your family defined as success, Moore said. Ultimately, the goal is to 'embark on a journey of living in alignment with the values you've outlined and your personalized definition of success,' she added. Consider that some family members may resist or sabotage your efforts to heal. 'They may not like that you are changing the status quo because it serves them in some way,' Ruan said. 'The golden child may also face criticism and backlash from parents who once praised them.' So, until you feel confident in your new beliefs and habits, you may need to limit the time you spend with family. Lastly, it's common for people who think of themselves as 'loser siblings' to spend a significant portion of their lives trying to gain their family's love and acceptance. 'Whether your skills and talents were valued by your family or not, as an adult, you have agency to decide that you value them and that the label of being a 'loser sibling' is not one you need to accept,' Le Goy said. This article originally appeared in HuffPost.
Buzz Feed
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Buzz Feed
Adult Traits That Reveal You Were The 'Loser Sibling'
Sibling relationships are complicated, and I'm not just referring to the incestuous overtones in Season 3 of The White Lotus. Sometimes, one sibling can be overshadowed by their more outgoing or successful siblings, making them feel lacking. Sasha from the Netflix series Nobody Wants This implies this when referring to himself and a friend as the 'loser siblings' of their families. Having a sibling can feel like a zero-sum game of winners and losers. And though it might seem harmless to joke about being a 'loser sibling,' there are consequences that come along with internalizing this label. 'Childhood labels and favoritism have a huge impact on identity development and how adults continue to see themselves in the world,' said Charlynn Ruan, a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of Thrive Psychology Group. Below, experts discuss traits that adults are likely to develop if they grew up as the 'loser sibling' and how they can move past this label. 1. Low self-esteem People who feel invalidated by their families tend to have poor self-esteem. 'Even though they likely have many positive personality traits and talents, they may see themselves as inferior to their sibling,' said Natalie Moore, a holistic therapist specializing in people pleasers and women navigating anxiety and trauma. Inside jokes like calling another sibling the golden child 'are often a cover for something that is painfully true and harmful,' Ruan said. If one sibling is consistently favored by their parents or peers, the others might think they're flawed or unworthy of praise and affection. Instead of thinking, 'I may not be smart or athletic, but I'm capable of other things,' the 'loser sibling' might have an all-or-nothing mindset where they tell themselves, 'I am bad' or 'I'm worthless.' 2. People pleasing If they didn't feel special or important to their parents or caregivers, they may expect to be treated the same way by friends, bosses, or romantic partners. Since they fear rejection, they might be afraid to show initiative in choosing friends or partners who are good to them. 'They will often work overtime to try to please someone to get their approval and might not consider their feelings and needs because they were invalidated as a child,' explained Ruan. People pleasers also struggle with a lack of boundaries. Rather than displaying healthy vulnerability by gradually opening up to someone, they might go on a first date and share every horrible thing that's ever happened to them, she added. 3. Feeling shame When conflict arises, families tend to blame the so-called 'loser sibling' or pit them against other relatives. For example, a parent might project negative feelings onto a child who reminds them of their own flaws or those of an ex-partner. Because the child doesn't know why they're being treated unfairly, they tend to feel ashamed or inadequate. Nothing they do will ever be good enough. 'These siblings often become the scapegoat or, in other words, the person in a family who is unconsciously assigned the role of expressing the symptoms of the family system,' Moore said. The scapegoated individual is often seen as a disappointment, so the rest of the family can uphold their image of happiness or success. According to research, in dysfunctional families, parents may transfer unresolved tensions in their relationship onto their relationship with their child. 'Becoming the identified patient or scapegoat can manifest as substance abuse or mental health issues such as anxiety or depression.' 4. Overcompensating Because they feel inferior to their siblings, 'loser siblings' often develop traits such as humor, creativity, or likability to compensate for their perceived failings, Moore said. 'These traits can appear positive from the outside, but often cause the individual internal suffering as they stem from a lack of self-worth versus a true expression of their personality,' she added. Another way they tend to overcompensate is by being a high achiever. 'However, even if they become high achievers, they may still experience impostor syndrome or resentment for being labeled the 'loser sibling,'' said Patrice Le Goy, an international psychologist and licensed marriage and family therapist. 'Or they may become extremely hard on themselves and have difficulty celebrating their accomplishments or giving themselves grace.' 5. Avoiding competition Children who grow up in the shadow of their siblings' accomplishments may avoid pursuing their dreams as adults. They might talk themselves out of applying for a coveted job or asking for a raise. 'If the 'loser' label extended to many or all areas of their identity, they might avoid striving for something they could lose or putting themselves in a position where they could be rejected or publicly exposed as a loser,' Ruan said. 6. Self-sabotaging The 'loser sibling' label can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy. That's because 'people tend to create an external world that matches their internal identity and seek out experiences that confirm their beliefs,' Ruan said. They might subconsciously sabotage their chances of success because they're accustomed to failing, and it gives them a sense of control over their fate. Le Goy agreed, saying that if your parents, teachers, or coaches compared you unfavorably to your siblings, you may not live up to your full potential because you think you'll never measure up in their eyes. In other words, you can't be disappointed if you don't try in the first place. 7. Sabotaging relationships In addition to thwarting their success, 'loser siblings' tend to sabotage their relationships. 'Since their self-worth is so low, when someone does choose them as an adult, it makes them feel anxious and uncomfortable,' Ruan said. For example, they might cheat on their wonderful partner with someone who is less socially desirable because that's what they feel they deserve. In addition, they might think that if their partner really got to know them as a person, they would reject them or leave the relationship. 'So, they'll hide parts of themselves or cheat on their partner with someone they subconsciously feel is closer to their self-perceived level of value,' Ruan said. 8. Engaging in social comparison The comparisons don't stop at their sibling relationships. 'When they engage in upward comparison by comparing themselves to people they consider more successful, they often feel dejected,' Moore said. Conversely, they gain momentary relief from engaging in downward comparison. But this sense of self-satisfaction is short-lived because nothing they do will ever measure up to their sibling. How to overcome the 'loser sibling' identity. The first step toward healing is to acknowledge that these dynamics are occurring. 'The individual needs to see that they are not a loser but rather have taken on a role in an unhealthy family system,' Moore said. It may take an outside party such as a friend or therapist to point out the unfair treatment of siblings. 'Remember it took decades to build those negative belief systems, so it will take time to change them,' Ruan said. She recommended reading self-help books, joining a support group, or working with a therapist who is familiar with these issues and can help you reframe negative beliefs. Once you recognize these unhealthy patterns, it's important to seek out environments where you feel valued and avoid situations that mirror your childhood. Take time to reflect on your strengths and what matters to you. Write down your definition of success, not what your family defined as success, Moore said. Ultimately, the goal is to 'embark on a journey of living in alignment with the values you've outlined and your personalized definition of success,' she added. Consider that some family members may resist or sabotage your efforts to heal. 'They may not like that you are changing the status quo because it serves them in some way,' Ruan said. 'The golden child may also face criticism and backlash from parents who once praised them.' So, until you feel confident in your new beliefs and habits, you may need to limit the time you spend with family. Lastly, it's common for people who think of themselves as 'loser siblings' to spend a significant portion of their lives trying to gain their family's love and acceptance. 'Whether your skills and talents were valued by your family or not, as an adult, you have agency to decide that you value them and that the label of being a 'loser sibling' is not one you need to accept,' Le Goy said.
Irish Examiner
26-05-2025
- Entertainment
- Irish Examiner
Wish List: Eight ideas for home and outdoor living this summer
Cushion covers In company, I do love to proclaim loudly how much I love the sea. What I fail to acknowledge is how much distance there needs to be between me and the sea to admire it from afar (cue: plenty). As a defiant toddler, I refused to learn how to swim but I like to think in another life I'm a sea swimmer, with ruddy cheeks and sea salted hair and a dry robe I wear even to the shops. Alas, why should I dream of being anyone but myself? A creature of comfort surrounded by the jauntiest cushions of waves and surfers. These unbleached linen cushions from BTS Concept Store, €68.95, are now my entire personality. Starlight Remember the glow-in-the-dark, stick-on stars you begged your mum for as a teenager? Brace your inner child: I may have found the grown-up equivalent. The Paulina sculptural lamp, approximately €453.59, is the brainchild of celebrated Belgian designer Anita Le Grelle. A constellation of tiny, indiscernible holes in the lamp shade produces a shimmering starlight effect that twinkles throughout your room. Shop this and more unique vintage and modern finds at LNV Home in Belfast or online at A clock of ages Literature fans, listen up. Close your eyes and recall the first time you read about Miss Havisham; the clocks frozen in time at Satis House, and all around her, decay. Or the 'low, dull, quick sound' of the ticking timepiece in Edgar Allan Poe's The Tell-Tale Heart. Now replace the clocks with a mobile phone and see if the impact is the same. Analogue clocks aren't just anachronistic windows to our past, they have the potential to become family heirlooms. The Otto floor clock by Formae, €747.95, is the perfect antidote to digital disconnectivity. A decorative winding key and pendulum hark to old-world charm while inbuilt shelving offers a unique update. As an investment item or a character in your memoirs, this freestanding clock can be purchased from Mirror, mirror Originating in the 17th century, bobbin furniture is having its very own renaissance (a bobbinaissance?). With a subtle nod to nostalgia, the forest green Ruan mirror, €149, from Foy & Company packs a punch without overpowering. An aesthetically pleasing mirror won't perfect the art of applying winged eyeliner, but hey, at least it looks good in your selfies. With two brick-and-mortar locations in Letterkenny and Ballybofey, Foy & Company is a family-run business with a wide choice of stellar homeware brands. Shop this mirror online at or pick it up in one of the stores. Chunky flower pot Home of the mirror that launched a thousand replicas, and now, the bed for throuples, Gustaf Westman is the designer every interiors enthusiast worth her salt is obsessed with. From the cult curvy mirror to the puzzle shelves and spiralling book stands, Westman's fresh, playful approach to furniture-making defies norms and sets a new standard for innovation in design. Is he the enfant terrible of the furniture world? If redefining intimacy as an interactive bed for three and creating complementary pieces like the 'One Night Stand' shocks you, then yes. Don't judge, though — he's not all form, no function. Take the chunky cup and saucer, for example. Designed to minimise spillage for those of us who love to have tea in bed (me!), it's a stroke of genius. From just €210, the glazed ceramic 'Chunky' flower pot is the ideal starter piece for Westman fans, available at selected retailers like SSense and on Pot of gold While the ginger jar was originally utilitarian, its craftsmanship soon cemented its status as a highly coveted decorative object. A testament to China's strong track record of artistry, especially when it comes to porcelain making, the high shoulders and domed lid make it ideal for showcasing fresh or dried floral arrangements or storing tea, spices, or bath salts. Interior designer Cormac Rowell handpicked this striking yellow piece — find it in his store in Dublin and check out his website at for more design inspiration. Garden chic Outdoor dining has come a long way since banana sandwiches on mattresses in the back garden and a light sprinkling under the hose (just me?). Want to elevate your backyard cookouts so entertaining guests gets a chef's kiss every time? Dutch outdoor furniture brand Weltevree makes design-forward stoves, chairs, hot tubs and the niftiest outdoor waterworks with a sink, storage space and worktop to boot. Unlike a traditional indoor set-up, there are no wrong answers — imbibe a signature summer mocktail, showcase your plants or simply pose and pretend to do the above for a selfie. The Waterworks, €395, available at comes with a powder green-hued outdoor sink and water station with worktop, perforated wall and a place to hang your garden tools. Top of the table You know you take your tablescaping seriously when you anthropomorphise the accoutrements. Nobody wants to see their table scantily clad in a skimpy leg-skimming tablecloth, right? Dressing the table intentionally is a delight, and one of my favourite artists working with linen is Jennifer Slattery. Laying the table for your garden party with the forest green, ivory or earthy stripes sets the scene for the night ahead — it's giving luxury, abundance and homegrown. Order yours from €210 at Read More Wish List: Seven super home buys that are hot on the scent of summer
ITV News
21-05-2025
- Business
- ITV News
Could there be a robot in every home by 2030?
In a suburb of Shanghai, there is a hub for tech companies where they are slowly but surely creating a robot revolution. We visited what they call the "training centre" of Agibot, where we watched as a team of operators helped put the human into humanoid robots. Through repetitive tasks, they are generating data which will eventually allow a fleet of robots to be programmed to do everything from making a sandwich to restocking supermarket shelves. There was also a room where a robot was being guided to make a bed, but unfortunately, it looked like they were not yet close to mastering that mundane task. It is when you visit companies like Agibot that you get the sense of AI moving from something abstract into the physical realm of our everyday lives. According to the company's director of testing, Ruan Cheng, the aim is to relieve humans of repetitive, dangerous, and dirty jobs. He believes that by the end of this decade every home, at least in China, will have a robot. And key to China's rise as a robotics superpower has been its huge manufacturing base, which is switching from traditional machinery and manpower to high-tech automation at breakneck speed. 'We have market capabilities, manufacturing strength, and world-leading AI expertise,' said Ruan. 'We believe the future of robots is in China.' From the dancing robots featured in the Chinese New Year Gala to robots attempting a half-marathon last month, 2025 has already been a showcase of China's robotic ambitions. UBTECH, one of the country's leading tech firms, recently unveiled what it sees as the factory floor of the future where there is not a human being in sight. China's ambitions in robotics were laid out as part of a ten year strategy called Made in China 2025. That strategy set out to make the country a global leader in ten different industries, of which robotics was one and it has become one of the hottest technological battlegrounds between China and the United States. That strategy has been pushed from the very top of China's leadership team. During a recent visit to Shanghai tech hubs, President Xi Jinping urged workers to power China's technological rise, saying the nation's success depends on them. The continued success of China's AI and robotics industry comes in spite of tech restrictions placed on the country by the US government. In 2022, the Biden administration effectively banned exports of advanced microchips, and equipment to produce advanced chips by Chinese chipmakers, as part of an effort to stifle China's semiconductor industry and, in turn, the military. The boss of Nvidia, one of the world's leading chip makers, said on Wednesday that such policies had been a ''failure'' and had only forced Chinese companies to boost investment and develop a supply chain that does not reply on foreign manufacturers, namely the United States. Nvidia chief executive Jensen Huang said the tech restrictions had lost American companies, including his own, billions of dollars. What China is doing in robotics mirrors the strategy used to dominate electric vehicle (EV) manufacturing — building a new industry from the ground up with heavy investment, strong industrial policy, and global ambition. The country has become a runaway leader in EV production and has overtaken Japan as the biggest car exporter in the world. While US President Donald Trump has called for a revival of traditional manufacturing jobs in America, China is instead investing in automated alternatives. There are hundreds of firms developing AI-powered robotic systems for industries, ranging from healthcare to logistics. According to Lin Tao from Soft Robot Tech in Beijing, there is one key advantage in China - talent. Every year, over four million Chinese students graduate with degrees in science, technology, engineering and mathematics (STEM). 'A large number of engineers majoring in automation and mechanical engineering graduate each year in China,' Lin Tao of Soft Robot Tech told ITV News. 'This provides us with a very rich talent pool and as the technology develops, they are improving their skills, in many different areas to help advance the number of potential uses.' But while companies like Soft Robot Tech welcome the annual influx of fresh young talent, their products are also being viewed as a solution in a country with an ageing manual workforce. While automation is being resisted in other parts of the world, where it is seen as a threat to jobs, in China there has been little resistance. This is partly due to the lack of labour unions and limited space for protest. However, it is also the case that in China there is a more open attitude towards technology. People here tend to embrace the advancements and accept them as a sign of progress - particularly when they come from Chinese companies. China and the US may have agreed a ceasefire in their trade war, but when it comes to technology, robotics has become one of the fiercest battlegrounds.
