Latest news with #SocietyforPersonalityandSocialPsychology
Time of India
10 hours ago
- Entertainment
- Time of India
New dating trend! ‘Foodie calls' turn dating apps into menus not matches; changing relationship goals
Dating in the digital age is evolving fast, and not always in the way you'd expect. Forget candlelit connections and heartfelt chats with today's new dating ritual, swiping right with one thing in mind: food. With inflation tightening wallets and brunch prices soaring, a cheeky new trend called the 'foodie call' is taking over dating apps . Instead of searching for love, many are hunting for their next free meal. Popular on TikTok and beyond, users openly admit to going on dates just to enjoy a good restaurant and no matching or compatibility required. It's dating with a side of strategy, and the internet can't stop talking about a new dating trend or a new foodie strategy? Chemistry is replaced, cutlery kept and your wallet is paying the price. Dating apps turn into free food platforms with 'foodie calls' on the rise These apps that were once meant to bring about romantic relationships are being comparably joked about as DoorDash by those who use them to fill their bellies, rather than their hearts. A " foodie call " is when a person will accept a date for the purpose of getting a free meal, but with no plans to take things further in terms of a relationship, or even a second date. According to the New York Post reports, South Carolina graphic designer Katheryne Slack admitted in an interview on MarketWatch that she asked a Hinge match out for coffee not due to interest, but because she was out at home. They hadn't talked in days, but when she could make it work, she met him at a coffee shop. "As soon as I met him, I knew I wasn't into him. But I was already there and needed my coffee," she said. Social media reacts to new dating trend 'foodie call' Social media has escalated the trend. Hilarious videos under hashtags such as #datingfordinner or #foodiecall feature young women ostentatiously documenting their dating lives, highlighting the number of free dinners they have received in a week. In one of the viral videos, @jocelynaleenaa posted, "When you keep going on dates for the free food & drinks," while others cracked jokes about not having to do grocery shopping at all by making back-to-back dates a meal prep. In another video, a lady was dancing to the caption: "Off on my second date this week 'cause I can't be bothered to meal prep." To others, it's a "budget hack" in times of economic uncertainty, even when it's a bit of a gray area morally. Is it being smart or just selfish? What the research suggests Although "foodie calls" may look like and feel like cheeky behavior, researchers contend there could be darker psychological tendencies involved. The journal Society for Personality and Social Psychology published a study in 2019 that reported that as many as 1 in 3 women acknowledged going out on dates for free food alone. More significantly, persons who habitually make such calls ranked higher in the "dark triad" traits of narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. These are persons who usually take advantage of social situations and have no guilt for being deceitful. When dating becomes a strategy for surviving city life With rents that are through the roof and an endless roster of hip restaurants, urban areas such as New York have become breeding ground for "dinner dating." East Village resident Olivia Balsinger described dining on a five-course meal at the pricey Catch restaurant in the Meatpacking District that is all on her date's bill. "If I had had to pay," she confessed, "I probably wouldn't have been able to eat for weeks afterwards. Though the ritual may seem innocent or even sly in the view of some, others see it as emotional manipulation. The unaware date not only pays the bill but often ends up confused or disappointed, unaware they were never a romantic player in the first place. Also Read | 'Feels just like home!': Indian YouTuber finds 'Chandni Chowk vibes' in New Jersey's India Square; video goes viral AI Masterclass for Students. Upskill Young Ones Today!– Join Now
New York Post
a day ago
- Entertainment
- New York Post
From booty call to ‘foodie call' — free dinner scammers flood dating apps as wallets tighten
Love might be off the menu — but the lobster sure isn't. With wallets tightening and a looming recession on the rise, some singles are turning first dates into free dinner scams. Countless TikTokkers are proudly documenting their foodie finesse, using Hinge and Bumble like Doordash — to score meals on someone else's dime. This is referred to as a 'foodie call' — where someone nabs a free meal with no plans to ever call, text or date the poor sap who picked up the check. 3 A 'foodie call' is when someone scores a free meal with zero intention of calling, texting or dating the poor sap who footed the bill. Nejron Photo – South Carolina graphic designer Katheryne Slack told MarketWatch in a recent interview that she realized she was out of coffee one Sunday and used a thirsty Hinge match to score a caffeine fix. Outta beans and full of schemes, Slack hit up her suitor for a free cup o' joe. The pair had exchanged flirty messages days earlier, but plans fizzled — until she pounced when the timing finally lined up. An hour later, they were sipping lattes at his expense at a café. 'As soon as I met him, I knew I wasn't into him. But I was already there and needed my coffee,' she told the outlet. 3 With wallets squeezed and recession fears bubbling up, some shameless singles are using first dates to dine and dash — minus the romance. motortion – @jocelynaleenaa no matter what state or country this is how it's starting to feel😂😂😂 ♬ original sound – 90dayfiance And she's far from the only one who sees things this way, TikTok is filled with cheeky clips of users bragging about 'dating for dinner' — a budgeting 'hack.' In one recent video, user @jocelynaleenaa can be seen at a restaurant table. In white text over the clip, she wrote, 'when you keep going on dates for the free food & drinks.' Another user commented beneath the TikTok, 'I did this for 2 weeks straight once I was never hungry.' One other added, 'Girl I feel you.' Some are joking that back-to-back dates are their version of meal prepping. User @alanarixonn filmed herself dancing last month with the caption, 'off on my 2nd date this week cos I cba to meal prep x.' One viewer wrote under the video, 'the fact that this isn't a joke.' Someone else replied, 'It's like a meal voucher because you are putting in the work. You deserve it queen.' An additional supporter chimed in, 'This is low key genius' as one other noted, 'Love doing this #thinksmarternotharder.' Dating with the intention of nabbing a free bite to eat isn't new. A 2019 study published in the 'Society for Personality and Social Psychology' journal dove deeper into 'foodie calls.' The study found up to 1 in 3 women admitted to going on dates for free grub. As per the researchers, anyone who thinks it's cool to dine and dash emotionally are more likely to show signs of narcissism, psychopathy and Machiavellianism — aka the 'dark triad.' 3 Mooching meals in the name of love ain't exactly breaking news — a 2019 study in the Society for 'Personality and Social Psychology' journal dug into so-called 'foodie calls.' Prostock-studio – With sky-high rents and an endless lineup of buzzy eateries, NYC could be seen as a foodie call free-for-all. East Village local Olivia Balsinger once scored a five-course feast at swanky seafood hotspot Catch in the Meatpacking District — all on someone else's dime. 'If I had been forced to pay,' she told The Post, 'I probably wouldn't have been able to eat for weeks afterward.' Overall, while 'dating for dinner' isn't entirely novel, it's hitting harder now as tariffs bite into wallets, recession jitters grow, and job security feels shakier than ever.
Yahoo
27-05-2025
- Health
- Yahoo
The Toxic Patterns That Quietly Ruin Even The Best Relationships
It's not always the screaming fights or the cheating scandals that end a relationship. Sometimes, it's the quiet, persistent patterns—the little habits and unspoken rules that seem harmless at first but chip away at trust, connection, and respect over time. The worst part? Most people don't even realize they're doing it. These patterns sneak in, take root, and by the time you see the damage, it can feel too late. But it's not. Once you can name the pattern, you can break it. Here are the 13 toxic behaviors that quietly wreck even the strongest relationships—so you can stop the damage before it's permanent. It starts with small things: who took out the trash last, who made the bed, who apologized first. Before you know it, your relationship feels like a ledger, not a partnership. Keeping score turns love into a competition, and nobody wins. It erodes generosity because every act of kindness starts to feel transactional. In a study highlighted by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, researchers found that people who keep score in their relationships—referred to as having a high "exchange orientation"—experience greater decreases in feelings of closeness and intimacy after conflicts. Instead of 'I did this, so you owe me,' shift to 'I do this because I care.' Relationships aren't a tit-for-tat system—they're about showing up, even when it's uneven. If you want your connection to thrive, let go of the scoreboard. It's killing the vibe more than you realize. A little sarcasm can be playful, but when it's used to mask resentment or deliver jabs, it turns toxic fast. You say, 'Oh, that's a smart idea,' or 'Guess you're too busy for me again,' and pretend it's a joke—but it stings. Over time, those 'jokes' add up, creating an atmosphere where no one feels safe being vulnerable. Sarcasm becomes a way to say what you feel without owning it. If you're using humor to avoid honest communication, it's time to stop. Your partner isn't a mind reader—and they shouldn't have to decode your snark. Say what you mean, even if it's messy. Real connection happens when you drop the mask. Sweeping things under the rug doesn't make them disappear—it just creates a lumpy floor you trip over later. Avoiding hard conversations feels easier in the moment, but it builds resentment and distance. You start to feel like roommates instead of partners, and the unspoken tension becomes unbearable. Conflict isn't the enemy—avoidance is. According to a study highlighted by and reported by PR Newswire, people who regularly avoid difficult conversations often do so out of fear of embarrassment or emotional pain, but this avoidance can lead to long-term social and psychological consequences. Avoidance is one of the most common relationship killers. It sends the message that problems aren't worth addressing, which eventually makes you feel like you're not worth addressing either. Face the discomfort. It's the only way forward. When your partner shares something vulnerable, and you say, 'You're overreacting,' or 'It's not a big deal,' you shut down the conversation before it even begins. It might seem like a small thing, but emotional invalidation builds walls. Your partner stops bringing things up, not because they don't care, but because they don't feel heard. And that quiet resentment grows like mold in the dark. Validation isn't agreement—it's acknowledgment. Even if you don't fully understand, you can say, 'I hear you.' It costs nothing, but it can save everything. If you keep dismissing their feelings, don't be surprised when they stop sharing them altogether. When you're constantly one-upping each other—whether it's who works harder, who sacrifices more, or who's more tired—you're not building intimacy, you're building walls. Relationships aren't a sport, and there's no prize for being the most put-upon. Research by the American Psychological Association explains that competitive dynamics in relationships can damage intimacy and increase stress, highlighting that healthy relationships thrive on mutual support rather than comparison or competition. Healthy relationships thrive on mutual care, not constant comparison. You're on the same team. If you're always trying to 'win,' you're losing sight of what matters: feeling safe, seen, and loved. Drop the scoreboard. It's not serving you. It's easy to fall into the trap of expecting your partner to fix your bad moods, fulfill your needs, or make you feel whole. But that's a burden no one can carry. Your happiness is your responsibility—expecting someone else to provide it creates an unfair dynamic where they can never do enough. And the constant pressure erodes the relationship. Your partner can support you, but they can't save you. That's an inside job. If you're waiting for someone else to make you happy, you'll keep feeling disappointed. Take ownership of your emotions, and you'll free the relationship to grow on its terms. Unspoken resentment is a slow poison. It starts as a small grudge, but when it's not addressed, it festers into bitterness. You start interpreting everything your partner does through the lens of that resentment, and it colors the entire relationship. Before long, every interaction feels like a low-grade fight you can't quite put your finger on. According to Verywell Mind, resentment in relationships often begins with small grievances that, if left unaddressed, can grow into deep bitterness. They stress the importance of expressing concerns early and calmly to prevent resentment from festering and damaging the relationship's foundation. Resentment thrives in silence. If something's bothering you, say it—early, calmly, and with the goal of resolution, not blame. Otherwise, the resentment will rot the foundation of your connection. And by the time you realize it, the damage may be too deep to fix. When was the last time you said thank you for the little things—making coffee, taking out the trash, or just being there when you needed support? When you stop noticing your partner's contributions, they start feeling invisible. Over time, that erodes the sense of partnership and turns love into obligation. Appreciation isn't a nice-to-have; it's a lifeline. You don't have to throw a parade, but a simple 'thank you' or 'I see you' goes a long way. When someone feels valued, they show up more fully. Don't let the day-to-day grind make you forget the power of gratitude. It's the glue that holds everything together. If you're more focused on how your relationship looks to others than how it feels to the two of you, you're building a house of cards. Social media, career wins, and outside opinions can all feel important, but they're not the core of your relationship. When you start performing your relationship for an audience, you lose sight of the real, messy, imperfect connection that sustains it. And that disconnect will quietly erode your bond. Your partner isn't your prop, and your relationship isn't content. Focus on the substance, not the optics. What happens between the two of you in private is what matters. And if you lose that, no amount of likes will save it. A relationship where no one takes accountability is a slow death. If you can't own your mistakes, you're telling your partner that their feelings don't matter. It creates a dynamic where they're always wrong and you're always right, which is a recipe for resentment. Apologies aren't weakness—they're the bridge back to connection. Refusing to apologize is a power move disguised as self-protection. But real strength is being able to say, 'I messed up.' That humility makes your partner feel safe. And without it, the emotional distance grows until there's no way back. Stonewalling—refusing to engage, giving the silent treatment, or walking away mid-conversation—might feel like protecting yourself, but it's a form of control. It leaves your partner feeling powerless and unheard. Conflict is hard, but it's how relationships grow. If you always shut down, you're not protecting the relationship—you're starving it of oxygen. According to relationship experts, stonewalling is one of the most destructive patterns a couple can fall into. It creates a dynamic where nothing gets resolved, and both people end up feeling alone. Your partner deserves your presence, even when it's uncomfortable. Stay, listen, and talk it through. Remembering every slight, mistake, or forgotten errand creates a minefield of resentment. If you're tallying up your partner's wrongs, you're not building a connection—you're building a case against them. That scorecard becomes the lens through which you see everything they do. And it's exhausting—for both of you. You can't move forward if you're constantly dragging the past behind you. Forgiveness isn't about pretending it didn't happen—it's about choosing not to weaponize it. Letting go isn't easy, but it's necessary. Your relationship deserves a clean slate. You can share a bed, a home, and a life—but if you're not sharing your inner world, you're not truly connected. Emotional intimacy is built on deep conversations, vulnerability, and the willingness to be seen. Without it, the relationship becomes hollow—two people coexisting without truly knowing each other. And over time, that emptiness turns into resentment. Emotional intimacy isn't a bonus feature—it's the core of a thriving relationship. If you're not nurturing it, you're letting the foundation erode. Be curious about your partner's inner life. And let them into yours—it's how love grows.
NDTV
09-05-2025
- General
- NDTV
Is There A 'Right' Way To Fight In A Relationship? We Asked Psychologists
" Ladne se pyaar badhta hai" (Love increases when you fight)." If you've grown up in a desi household, chances are high you've witnessed your parents, or someone else, arguing right in front of you. And more often than not, they might've brushed it off with this phrase. The idea of going to another room to discuss 'personal' matters is more or less alien here. You see, we don't really classify anything as 'personal' in a desi house. But let's not get into the privacy issues in Indian households. That's another topic altogether. Right now, we're talking about 'the fighting'. The yelling. The screeching. The occasional drama. It may all seem normal to many of us, having grown up in that environment. But here's the thing - experts believe there is, in fact, a right way to fight. And doing it in front of everyone? That tops the list of things not to do. But don't get us wrong. The phrase above does hold some truth. Studies show that fighting in a relationship might actually help save it. Couples who don't have it in for each other to fight for each other might not last long. That doesn't mean constant heated arguments make for a healthy bond. Simply put, if you have conflicts with your partner in a constructive way, it can bring you closer. A 2012 paper published by the Society for Personality and Social Psychology found that expressing anger to a romantic partner might create short-term discomfort but also encourages honest conversations that strengthen the relationship over time. So, what's the right way to fight with your partner - or any loved one? Let's fight... erm, find out: Start Using 'I' Over 'You' Use 'I' in your relationship. Now, we are not asking you to become selfish. Experts suggest that one of the best ways to avoid escalating conflict is to steer clear of the blame game. Dr Pavitra Shankar, associate consultant psychiatry at Aakash Healthcare, says, "Use 'I' statements to express feelings, not blame. Saying 'I feel overwhelmed when plans change suddenly' is far less inflammatory than 'You ruin everything'." Shahszeen Shivdasani, relationship expert and author of Love, Lust and Lemons, agrees: "No name-calling. Use the word 'I'. Say 'I feel that way' instead of 'you never'," she adds. Remember The Intention It's crucial to understand why you're fighting. Is it with each other, for each other, or something else entirely? Your intention should be that it's you versus the problem, not you versus your partner. Vasundhara Gupta, founder and counselling psychologist at Humraahi Psychotherapy, says that while there's no perfect way to fight, there is a better way - and intentionality is key. "The best fights aren't about winning or being right-they're about understanding, repair, and staying connected even in conflict. Sue Johnson [British clinical psychologist and couples therapist known for her work in psychology] teaches that couples tend to fall into predictable negative cycles-like one partner pursuing and the other withdrawing. The key is to recognise the cycle as the enemy, not each other," she says. For Vasundhara, intentionality means asking yourself: What am I hoping for in this conversation? To be heard? To feel less alone? To move towards closeness? Or am I trying to punish, withdraw, or prove a point? "Being intentional helps shift the fight from a reactive space to a relational one," she adds. Timeout All the experts we spoke to had one consistent piece of advice - know when to pause. When things get too heated or your emotions run high, that's the time to take a break. Priyanka Kapoor, psychotherapist, psychologist, sex therapist and couple and family counsellor from Mumbai, recommends using the 'STOP skill' during conflict. "When you sense the argument worsening, you need to STOP-take a break, think, calm down, and plan your conversation so the other person doesn't feel attacked," she says. "Also, choose the right moment to bring up difficult topics. Not when the person is busy, hungry (very important), angry or already upset," she adds. Respect, Respect, Respect Ask any expert how to build a solid foundation in a relationship, and respect will always rank among the top three. Even when fighting, respect is non-negotiable. Gupta says it's not about whether you fight, but how. Conflict handled with mutual respect and a willingness to listen can actually foster growth. Shivdasani agrees. "Fighting is important in a relationship because, before you marry or commit to someone for life, it's crucial to know how you both behave in conflict. It shows your growth as a couple and how you resolve issues. But no matter what, it should always be handled with respect. Respect, respect, respect," she concludes. End On A Connecting Note Ending a fight on a good note matters. It helps repair and strengthen the relationship, rather than allowing the conflict to fester. A positive conclusion fosters forgiveness, kindness and emotional reconnection. Dr Shankar says even unresolved issues can be softened with small gestures. "A warm touch or a 'We'll get through this'-these simple things can really diffuse the tension," she says. The Red Flags So, how do you know if the way you're fighting isn't healthy? Dr Shankar lists a few red flags to watch for: Escalation over trivial issues: Minor disagreements spiralling out of control often reflect poor emotional regulation. Name-calling and character attacks: Saying "You're lazy" instead of "I need help" damages trust and self-esteem. Stonewalling or silent treatmen t: Emotionally shutting down kills communication and builds walls. Recycling past arguments: Repeatedly revisiting the same issues suggests nothing's being resolved. Emotional or verbal abuse: Sarcasm, intimidation or threats are never acceptable. If fear is involved, seek professional help. Emotional exhaustion after every fight: Constant fatigue or anxiety after arguments signals relational burnout. How To Know If You're Fighting Too Much Fighting is good in a relationship. But couples shouldn't feel like they're constantly at each other's throats. Shallu Chawla, Delhi-based matchmaker and Co-founder of Make My Lagan, says there's no magic number of arguments that's 'too many'. It's more about how the fights affect your emotional wellbeing and the atmosphere of the relationship. "I always ask couples to reflect on the space between arguments. Do you experience peace, affection, connection? Or does it feel like you're always recovering from a fight?" Chawla says. A toxic relationship always has signs. Representational Photo: Pexels Dr Shankar shares signs that you might be fighting too often: Arguments dominate your time: If peace is the exception rather than the norm, take note. Same issues come up repeatedl y: This hints at unresolved deeper problems. You feel emotionally drained: A healthy relationship recharges you, not the opposite. Fights get personal or abusive: Insults and manipulation show deeper dysfunction. You avoid each other: Withdrawing emotionally may be a response to chronic conflict. Bottomline Every couple fights. It's a byproduct of different perspectives, misunderstandings and expectations, and it is bound to happen when two people are in a relationship. It only becomes a problem when you can't resolve issues or express your views respectfully and constructively.
